I feel like I made a mistake

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kristenann

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That is a brilliant idea guys! I looked on ebay and saw them pretty well priced, I'm just wondering if they're legitimate on there? Thank you all so much for the support, I'm feeling much better today. He was rolling on my feet this morning and oh goodness that belly is so cute, I think I'm smitten. I really hope we can work through the biting, but I'm feeling much more hopeful with a plan of action.
 

rachbu

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I am certainly not an expert, but I have been a cat parent for 17 years, and I also just adopted a rescue kitty who's a bit over a year old, so younger than your guy, but I have no idea what kind of traumas he went through as a stray dumped outside TWICE while he's a well-socialized love-bug who wants attention and kisses all the time.

I'm lucky though.

Who knows how long your little guy has been sick?  I can't imagine he's been comfortable with worms and fleas for weeks?  months?  Cats don't like change either, so while the people in the shelter may have been negligent, at least it was a place that was eventually familiar to him.  Now he's in a new home, getting all of this care--and although he doesn't enjoy it and was certainly traumatized by the sulfur dips as much as you were--he's overwhelmed.  He has to get used to his new surroundings, and these new people who for the first time, are giving him love.

Also, all of my cats sometimes will grab my hand and play-bite when I pet them.  Usually they just grab my hand in their paws and teeth and start licking me.  It's a sign of affection.  When cats play with each other, they grab each other by the scruff with their teeth.  It's not a show of aggression, and usually they groom each other right after (just like they do to my hand after biting it).  Sometimes they can look pretty aggressive, and to someone new to owning cats, I can understand how it would be jarring to have him bite while petting you.  Is it possible that you've been misinterpreting his intentions?  This kind of biting is a bonding, affectionate behavior. He may just be showing you that he understands that he has a mommy now :-)

Just give him time and believe in him.  He will be forever grateful to you for giving him the chance.  Don't worry about behavioral modification yet.  Just be patient and let him heal and get used to you and see that every encounter won't be medical.
 

rachbu

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re: Feliway

I think the spray is more effective than the diffuser.  I have the diffuser plugged in all the time, but I'm not sure if it really makes a difference.  If I'm taking my little one to the vet or he starts to get anxious or loud (he's a very chatty Maine Coon, so likes to share EVERYTHING with me even at 3 am), a spritz or two of the spray in the living room seems to calm him down very quickly.
 

molly92

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re: Feliway

I think the spray is more effective than the diffuser.  I have the diffuser plugged in all the time, but I'm not sure if it really makes a difference.  If I'm taking my little one to the vet or he starts to get anxious or loud (he's a very chatty Maine Coon, so likes to share EVERYTHING with me even at 3 am), a spritz or two of the spray in the living room seems to calm him down very quickly.
Really? That's interesting. The diffuser seemed to work better than the spray for me, but I haven't done any sort of variable-controlled experiments. My aunt (a vet) emphasized using the diffuser, not the spray, when we were having problems, so I assumed it was more effective.
 

talkingpeanut

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Really? That's interesting. The diffuser seemed to work better than the spray for me, but I haven't done any sort of variable-controlled experiments. My aunt (a vet) emphasized using the diffuser, not the spray, when we were having problems, so I assumed it was more effective.
I've heard that the diffuser is more effective because it emits a constant level of feliway.
 

catwoman707

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Honestly I have heard some say it helped, but quite a few saying they saw no difference.

I would say it's worth a try, and also the calming drops, something essence............can't think now, I'm exhausted.

Yes, ebay has the same as the stores or amazon, good prices too :)

Very glad to hear things are looking up and you don't feel as doubtful and worried!
 

Kat0121

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Honestly I have heard some say it helped, but quite a few saying they saw no difference.

I would say it's worth a try, and also the calming drops, something essence............can't think now, I'm exhausted.

Yes, ebay has the same as the stores or amazon, good prices too :)

Very glad to hear things are looking up and you don't feel as doubtful and worried!
I think you're thinking of the Bach's Rescue Remedy. I tried it on Henry with no results but every cat is different.


Wow  @kristenann All 4 feet declawed? No wonder he's biting. Just give him time. Cats are not dogs. They do not give their love and trust indiscriminately. It must be earned. It is earned with time, patience and lots of love. The more trust that you build, the better things will get. When you interact with him, stay at his level by sitting or lying on the floor instead of standing or" looming" over him. Extend your hand in a fist and let him come to you. The fact that he's rubbing against your legs is a good thing. Let him continue to come to you and "claim you" as his own by doing that.

If he's not going for the string toy or the laser pointer, I'd try a wand toy such as Da Bird. This is a toy that most cats cannot resist. These can be found on Amazon as well.

I know how you feel about having a cat who isn't treat centric. My Henry is the same way but he's also not into toys. My girls love wand toys but he couldn't care less about them. He was in a shelter for 8 years and I don't think he saw many toys nor was he socialized much during that time. He likes treats but does not come running when the container is out like the girls do. He'll come have some if he feels like it. What worked for him was giving him control of the relationship. I stopped stressing and let him progress at his own pace. He has all his claws so he's not a biter but he's still quite skittish.

Thank you for taking in an older cat. He's really handsome and he's a very lucky boy to have found someone who loves him and wants to give him a great home. Welcome to TCS. We're glad you're here and we're here to help.
 
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kristenann

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I am certainly not an expert, but I have been a cat parent for 17 years, and I also just adopted a rescue kitty who's a bit over a year old, so younger than your guy, but I have no idea what kind of traumas he went through as a stray dumped outside TWICE while he's a well-socialized love-bug who wants attention and kisses all the time.

I'm lucky though.

Who knows how long your little guy has been sick?  I can't imagine he's been comfortable with worms and fleas for weeks?  months?  Cats don't like change either, so while the people in the shelter may have been negligent, at least it was a place that was eventually familiar to him.  Now he's in a new home, getting all of this care--and although he doesn't enjoy it and was certainly traumatized by the sulfur dips as much as you were--he's overwhelmed.  He has to get used to his new surroundings, and these new people who for the first time, are giving him love.

Also, all of my cats sometimes will grab my hand and play-bite when I pet them.  Usually they just grab my hand in their paws and teeth and start licking me.  It's a sign of affection.  When cats play with each other, they grab each other by the scruff with their teeth.  It's not a show of aggression, and usually they groom each other right after (just like they do to my hand after biting it).  Sometimes they can look pretty aggressive, and to someone new to owning cats, I can understand how it would be jarring to have him bite while petting you.  Is it possible that you've been misinterpreting his intentions?  This kind of biting is a bonding, affectionate behavior. He may just be showing you that he understands that he has a mommy now :-)

Just give him time and believe in him.  He will be forever grateful to you for giving him the chance.  Don't worry about behavioral modification yet.  Just be patient and let him heal and get used to you and see that every encounter won't be medical.
Oh I feel so sad for your poor kitty! I don't understand how people can just abandon cats like that. He's lucky to have found you.

You raise a good point about the affectionate biting. I really don't know, how do you tell? If it's affectionate then I'm fine with it. I kind of don't think it is though because he seems more annoyed after.
 
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kristenann

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Okay so the diffuser seems to be the most popular, I'll try ordering one. That's a really good idea. Do they smell?

Thanks for the kind words:)
Another interesting note about the declawing, based on the records I got he wasn't neutered until he got to the rescue which is kind of bizarre. Who declawed a cat but didn't neuter it? I'm also a little unsure if he knows he doesn't have claws, he "scratches"the wall a lot haha.

We have a wand toy too, but he has the must ridiculous habit of affectionately rubbing himself on it instead of playing with it. The most interactive we can get him is we attached to jingly ball to a fishing pole (without any hooks) and use that like a giant wand.


Kat0121 he does sound like your Henry.

Yeah we've stopped trying to pet him for now and everyone seems happier. It's so cute when he tries to claim us, the other day I was standing and he came and like put his front paws on my legs trying to climb be or something it was adorable!

Thank you! He's a beaut, I look at him and feel so amazed this gorgeous kitty is mine. I don't really like I did a good dead taking in an older cat, I've heard that kittens are a wild shot with what personality you get, and I knew I wanted a cuddler.
 

rachbu

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I think of the diffuser as like an IV drip of the stuff to reach a "steady state," but sometimes, in more acutely stressful situations (going to the vet, giving meds, sulfur dip, baths, etc.), a few spritzes of the spray will definitely calm them down even more than the diffuser.

Just my personal experience.  I do think using both is most effective as the spray augments the diffuser.

If I had to pick one or the other, though, I'd go with the spray.
 

rachbu

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Oh I feel so sad for your poor kitty! I don't understand how people can just abandon cats like that. He's lucky to have found you.

You raise a good point about the affectionate biting. I really don't know, how do you tell? If it's affectionate then I'm fine with it. I kind of don't think it is though because he seems more annoyed after.
Does he lick right after he bites? I think of that kind of biting more to hold my hand in place before the licking.  If not, it may really be just a sensitive spot, and you're also just learning how he likes to be pet--kitties are different from doggies in what they like and how long.

Regardless of what he means, I think he just needs more time to get used to his new surroundings.  Now that he's getting healthier, he'll stop constantly associating you with medications (though i do believe they intuitively understand that we're their mommies, and while it's not always comfortable for them, we're taking care of them), he'll become more comfortable with you and with his new home.

Don't give up on him!  Just give him more time.  He's 7 or so years old, so he's going to take more time to adjust and to trust you, considering how many people have let him down in the past.
 
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kristenann

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Hmm well the spray is a more economical option, so maybe I'll try that first. It probably would help with the stressful situations, he doesn't try to bite then, but I think it might make him feel better overall.

Nope he doesn't lick when he bites, so maybe not a love thing? I think everyone is right and he may just be overwhelmed, I don't think I was really giving him enough credit for how much he's been through.

I feel like fate kind of brought us to him, and I've been thinking that as long as he doesn't take off a finger I can accept him for his limitations. I was feeling really overwhelmed with everything we've been through in the short time we've been together and needed to vent. Thank you everyone for the support, and I'd love more suggestions if anyone has any.

Tomorrow we should find out for sure if his latest culture is negative! His fur is growing back and he has no more lesions so I'm feeling positive but keep your fingers crossed for Tiberius!
 

rachbu

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Hmm well the spray is a more economical option, so maybe I'll try that first. It probably would help with the stressful situations, he doesn't try to bite then, but I think it might make him feel better overall.

Nope he doesn't lick when he bites, so maybe not a love thing? I think everyone is right and he may just be overwhelmed, I don't think I was really giving him enough credit for how much he's been through.

I feel like fate kind of brought us to him, and I've been thinking that as long as he doesn't take off a finger I can accept him for his limitations. I was feeling really overwhelmed with everything we've been through in the short time we've been together and needed to vent. Thank you everyone for the support, and I'd love more suggestions if anyone has any.

Tomorrow we should find out for sure if his latest culture is negative! His fur is growing back and he has no more lesions so I'm feeling positive but keep your fingers crossed for Tiberius!
It could be a playing thing too--I just can't tell without knowing your kitty, but eventually, you'll learn his language and he'll learn yours.  I don't think it's something to worry about at this point.  Just keep focused on getting him healthy and settled, and the behavior will abate.

Believe in YOURSELF too!  You're a great kitty-mommy!  Just the fact that you took in an adult kitty, and you were able to get through the sulfur dips (I thought my little guy might have ringworm too, and even after 17 years of kitty parenting, I was freaking out over the idea of sulfur dipping my cats), shows you have the right heart and temperament to help your little guy get through this time.

Just let the relationship evolve naturally, without pushing him (or yourself), and you'll get the cuddler kitty of your dreams! :)
 
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kristenann

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Yay! The culture came back negative, we've conquered the ringworm! 

He's not especially playful but I suppose it could be. Yesterday he nipped at my foot when I stopped petting him, I think it may just be how he communicates his feelings. I'm feeling more comfortable with the fact that he's clearly not trying to hurt me. I

Thank you that really means a lot, this has been quite a process. 
 

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It will take time, love, and most of all patience...and training...
 

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If he does bite, push into him a little - its the opposite of what prey would do, and will often trigger a release. Do NOT pull away, as it will prolong the bite. Keep a suitable toy handy to replace your hand with - that way he can work through the feeling without hurting you. Squealing 'ouch' or 'no' is good too - kittens squeal at each other if one bites another too hard, so he should understand he's hurting you and let go.
I just read through this thread.   Tiberius is a beauty.  Love his fluffy fur.  Poor baby having all 4 paws declawed. 

About the biting, and squealing "ouch",  it worked with me and my cat, Ruby.

When I first adopted Ruby she was food obsessed.  She would wake me in the morning demanding breakfast.  She would paw at me and gently bite at my fingers.  One morning she bit too hard and a tooth broke through the skin of my thumb.  Being not quite awake, it shocked me, plus it really hurt, and I responded by loudly squealing "ouch".  Poor Ruby was shocked at my squeal and slithered under the covers to hide.   I think she got the hint though, because she never bit that hard again.   So, the squeal response might work for Tiberius too.   Good luck. 
 

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I just read through this thread.   Tiberius is a beauty.  Love his fluffy fur.  Poor baby having all 4 paws declawed. 

About the biting, and squealing "ouch",  it worked with me and my cat, Ruby.

When I first adopted Ruby she was food obsessed.  She would wake me in the morning demanding breakfast.  She would paw at me and gently bite at my fingers.  One morning she bit too hard and a tooth broke through the skin of my thumb.  Being not quite awake, it shocked me, plus it really hurt, and I responded by loudly squealing "ouch".  Poor Ruby was shocked at my squeal and slithered under the covers to hide.   I think she got the hint though, because she never bit that hard again.   So, the squeal response might work for Tiberius too.   Good luck. 
Very true, they learn this during early stages of play with siblings.

They will wrestle, and the underdog will cry out and they learn it's a signal to let go. Learning the limits of interacting with other cats, so why not with people too?!
 

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That's good advice. I'll try to keep it in mind, although, if he truly does bite down then I'm not sure I'll be able to pull away but I'll definitely squeal!

Okay I think you're right. I don't think he is trying to hurt us, that's why I didn't initially think it was aggressive. He really is being gentle, he's just such a big guy that it scares me, I recognize he could hurt me if he wanted too. I think so too.

 I know, he's had a really rough go of it recently. Yeah first the shelter and then transported to the rescue and a foster home. I can give him time, but I don't think I would be happy with a cat that was not nice ever, so you're definitely a better kitty mom than me. I give you serious credit for that.

Thank you, he is quite a handsome guy. I appreciate your advice, I talked to my boyfriend about what everyone's said on here and we've basically agreed to leave him alone and let him love us on his own terms for now.

Not a very good one. I think they had really good intentions but they're just to overwhelmed with cats and not enough resources. Thank you, I wasn't looking to take in a sick cat but his pretty blue eyes won me over. I'm actually hoping to become a veterinarian, I'm in my last semester of undergraduate work right now, so this is actually really good experience. It's the finances of dealing with a sick cat that was the biggest challenge with that. Haha you may be right, I may not understand what ticks him off yet. If only cats could talk... 

Thank you :] If time and love is all he needs then that I can certainly provide! Yeah we'll take a step back and let him set the tone of things for now. 

I don't blame him for hating my hands when put that way.  He hates the carrier! We'll maybe it's only my driving he hates. He gave me nips before all the treatments though, but that was in the very beginning so he definitely gets credit for being uncomfortable in new surroundings. I tried to pet him with my feet because he seems to like them, but nope they get bites too. There probably is some treat out there that he likes but we have yet to find it, last time we were at the vet they tried giving him a ton of treats and he rejected them all. The picky eating is still so bizarre but it kind of cracks me up while being slightly exasperating. 
If you have to take your cat to the vet for anything else I recommend you wipe the carrier down with Feliway wipes before you put the cat in it.  I have a senior cat that hates the carrier, hates being in the car and does not like strangers. I took her to a new vet last year when she had a nasty URI.  This vet actually sprays herself with Feliway spray between patients.  Starbuck was much calmer but she peed on her self on the way to the vet.  This vet gave us some wipes to try.  Hubby used this when he had to take her to the vet last weekend while I was at work.  She still was hard to get into the carrier and complained a little in the car but she did not pee on herself.  She was actually not screaming in the car and was calm for the vet. The change in her behavior surprised my hubby.  He let her out of the carrier when she got home and she did not run and hide.  I did not see any of this but my hubby is looking at Feliway products online.
 
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kristenann

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So Tiberius discovered his favorite toy yet this morning, by accident: a hair tie. I've never seen him so playful! It was really adorable and good exercise since he's such a lazy boy. However, I'm really cautious to let him play with it because I'm worried he'll eat it. What do you guys think? If he does eat it, is that as serious as I fear? He likes to eat plastic so we must diligently keep it hidden away, but I take that to mean that he doesn't exactly think through what he wants to put in his mouth. 

@Artiemom  you are so right. Haha I was like squealing in excitement when I was on the phone with the vet, so basically dancing in my mind. 

@rubysmama  Thank you! He's  quite fluffy :] I know the 4 paw declaw is strange and sad, it makes me wonder if his previous owners had diabetes's or some health problem that made them extra sensitive to cat scratches? I think I will try squealing at him if he bites me hard, its a natural reaction for me anyway I'm kind of a wuss. I'm glad to hear it worked for you, that sounds like an especially unpleasant way to wake up.

@catwoman707  I agree, I think that it would be an easy to interpret response. 

@catlover73  Oh poor Starbuck, that sounds very stressful for her even if it was for her own good. I think I will get some spray, to spray the towel that I put in the bottom. The wipes are probably easier but I like how versatile the spray sounds. I'm glad you were able to find something that helped her, it gives me  a lot of hope. 
 
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