Are you an introvert?

I guess I just never felt comfortable in a large crowd of people. It always felt like an invasion into my sanity.  Now I know this isn't always true.And I know sometimes you can't help being out in a crowd. But as iget older, I have become more withdrawn because I have gotten to the point where people seem to just press my buttons constantly. So I try to avoid that as much as I can.

Introvert, although I know I do a good job of appearing otherwise.

I'm outgoing with people I know but it still is difficult to be in large crowds, lots of noise, etc.  It's difficult for me to just "make friends".  

sivyaleah said:

Introvert, although I know I do a good job of appearing otherwise.

I'm outgoing with people I know but it still is difficult to be in large crowds, lots of noise, etc.  It's difficult for me to just "make friends".  

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For me it is also quite difficult to make friends, I mean it is so that any new person I would rather run away than meet, I get then nervous and other person probably thinks something that is untrue as I can't make eye contact and as panic creeps I find it very difficult to focus what other one says.

Then as I really can't pick up any social cues or body language I end up laughing at wrong point or saying something that is completely inappropriate etc.

Also I tend to laugh when I get nervous too.

Thus I avoid meeting anyone face to face unless I know person, for example when I have had conversation by text with the person.

There is also that I like to think before I speak, it goes as far as I would like to think all possible outcomes and most probable excepted response, I can estimate and analyze behavior and what is excepted from me, but of course it takes time as I have to run number of possibilities, estimate probabilities, prepare words and double check words are in correct order until I can speak, I can do that when writing much easier as there is no effects of blacking out, hissing in ears etc. from social anxiety.

So making friends is not something I like to do, I lack of skills to keep friendship alive, for me 1 day or 1 year between conversations is about the same, it just so different way of thinking, that so few really can understand.

Oh and write always way too much and long as I try to make sure I'm not understood wrong, which still happens and when I wrote shortly it certainly happens, which is really annoying, now in live situation that is even more annoying as others get all emotional even they themselves interpret something wrong from what I have said and for certain there was no words that could possibly make that kind of misunderstanding, so I don't see much point in live conversations.

I kind of hate of being born so different.

Maybe those cat haters are rarely introverts, so they just don't understand silent things, like cats or even introverts who again get cats better because of how differently they think?

JTbo said:

<snip> Maybe those cat haters are rarely introverts, so they just don't understand silent things, like cats or even introverts who again get cats better because of how differently they think?

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I was thinking the same thing.  It's interesting to see the poll results as being so top heavy on introverts!

Or maybe it's just that introverts are drawn to places like TCS because it's an easier way to form friendships

Columbine said:

Or maybe it's just that introverts are drawn to places like TCS because it's an easier way to form friendships

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Could be that too and even if extroverts would have questions or need of help in cat issues, they might just come and leave after taunting task of writing text to form few times, for them speaking is probably a lot easier than writing

I am an introvert, yet I have a job that requires me to interact with the public. I do, and do it well, until I get tired or frazzled. Then I get a little mean.

I don't really need other peoples company, I'm quite happy being by myself, or with the cats or any other critters I might have for pets.

i'm such an introvert. i like nothing more than lounging around with my kitties and watching netflix. i do not have a very demanding social life and i'm totes okay with that.

I'm an introvert, according to both the test and my own assessment. I don't have any trouble dealing with people when I'm in "job mode" - I taught for over three decades - but prefer more solitary pursuits.

I find the company of cats  and dogs to be preferable over people.

The 'test' shows that I am an ambivert, but I would have said (prior to taking the test) that I am an extrovert. Going back and reviewing the questions on the test I can see that some of my answers have changed slightly compared to what they would have been 10 years ago. However, the majority of my answers would be situational and dependent upon the wording, so the vast majority of my responses were 'nuetral'. For instance, scenario 1 says, "I quickly feel drained when in a large crowd of people". My response is 'Very uncharacteristic or untrue, strongly disagree' because of the word 'quickly'. To some, a large crowd could be 20 people; for others, it could mean 1000 people. I can become 'quickly drained' in a group of 5 people if they are boring or uninteresting; yet feel very much at ease in a crowd of 1000 people if the venue holds my attention. 

Scenario 2, "I am a cautious decision maker", is also situational for me and would depend upon the decision I am making. I would certainly use caution in making a huge financial decision, but I would make an instant decision in an emergency situation. 

Number 3, "I feel drained after being out and about, even if I’ve enjoyed myself". Well, what was I out and about doing? And how did I feel before I went out and about? If I was tried or not feeling well, I might feel drained walking to the mailbox and back. And if I was at an amusement park all day with 4 kids in tow, I would expect to feel drained. Geesh, I feel drained just thinking about that! LOL

Number 4, "I don’t take risks unless I’ve done some careful research or evaluation first" is basically the same and number 2, just worded differently. And when you think about it, if you did some careful research or evaluation, how likely would you be to take a risk? 

Number 5, "When I was a child, people described me as “quiet.” Another situational circumstance. Who were these people and how well did they truly know me as a child? Most adults might have found me to be "quiet" because I was raised to respectful and well mannered in their presence. However, if you were to ask my softball coach, art instructor, or my peers, you would get a completely different answer! I was out-going and vivacious!

Number 6, "In large social gatherings, I often feel a need to seek out space to be by myself". Again, yes and no. Example: At my sister's wedding, I was right in the middle of things - making rounds to all the tables, dancing and having a blast! At my own wedding, I was exhausted and overwhelmed before the reception even began and I couldn't wait until it was over so I could 'get away from everyone'! 

Number 7, "I don’t rush decisions". Let's revert back to number 2 - same thing; just worded differently again. Are you cautious, or do you rush things? 

Number 8, "Too much exposure to noise or light leaves me feeling drained or spacey". I don't think has a direct correlation to being introverted or extroverted. In my opinion, it is more relative to your physical and mental stability and health (but that is a whole other topic).

Number 9, "I am patient about finding out all the facts before making a decision". How many times has this been asked? LOL  Go back to numbers 2 and 7. 

Number 10, "I do my best work in a quiet environment". Another situational circumstance. If I am reading or doing intricate paperwork, I prefer to be in a quiet environment. If I am painting or doing housework, I like to crank up the music and open the windows and get into it! 

A true introvert tends to turn inward on themselves and  be  preoccupied with  their  own  thoughts  and  feelings  and  minimize  their  contact  with  other people. An extrovert is a person concerned primarily with the physical and social environment, and more with external reality than inner feelings.

Overall, I found the test to be very ambiguous and not pertaining to the subject.  

So, I would like to say I am becoming more reserved as I age as opposed to more introverted. I am still very sociable and enjoy small(er) gatherings. There was a time when I would jump at the chance to attend a rock concert, but at my age, I prefer to listen to a CD in the comfort of my car or home (and on that first day of Spring, you can bet I will have some Jimi Hendrix blasting while I am cleaning the house or driving down the road with my windows down!  I am certainly not withdrawn or shy by any means, but I tend to select the people I socialize with to fit my mood. I don't think that makes me introverted - just a bit more wise.

With that being said, I stand behind the belief that I am an extrovert!

Brain chemistry is different between introverts and extroverts, senses and all information is handled very differently in their brains, you are born to some point along line from introvert to extrovert, some are near middle some are closer or farther from end points, but it is how brain operates and that is set from the birth.

For me 1 on 1 conversations are taxing, but any kind of group is like draining the tank and when tank is empty, I lock up indoors, close everything and sit in dark without any communications to outside world, that is overloading of introvert brain.

So Fyllis, you might very well be extrovert or ambivert or something between, there are several parts of brain that are affected and to what extent they are affected varies.

JTbo said:

Could be that too and even if extroverts would have questions or need of help in cat issues, they might just come and leave after taunting task of writing text to form few times, for them speaking is probably a lot easier than writing

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I am an extrovert! While my physical socialization with people has diminished due to age and physical restraints, I still enjoy talking with and meeting new people. I don't find writing text to be 'daunting' at all. It is still a form of communication.

If you think about it, if someone was truly introverted, they would avoid any type of interaction with people. But, when I look at your status here JTbo, you have posted 1,647 posts over the past 6 years! Maybe you're not as introverted as you believe yourself to be? And if there was ever an opportunity for say, 1000 members here to get together with their cats, I somehow don't think you would be sitting in a corner hiding. You'd be out there looking and touching and petting all the kitties and talking and socializing and have  the time of your life among a bunch of cat lovers! 

Fyllis said:

I am an extrovert! While my physical socialization with people has diminished due to age and physical restraints, I still enjoy talking with and meeting new people. I don't find writing text to be 'daunting' at all. It is still a form of communication.
If you think about it, if someone was truly introverted, they would avoid any type of interaction with people. But, when I look at your status here JTbo, you have posted 1,647 posts over the past 6 years! Maybe you're not as introverted as you believe yourself to be? And if there was ever an opportunity for say, 1000 members here to get together with their cats, I somehow don't think you would be sitting in a corner hiding. You'd be out there looking and touching and petting all the kitties and talking and socializing and have  the time of your life among a bunch of cat lovers! 

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It is false assumption that introverted would avoid communication, check these myths for example:
http://www.carlkingdom.com/10-myths-about-introverts

I would not be indeed in corner, I would be jumping out trough the window to escape the situation! Sure I can force myself to tolerate in being in group, but all my clothes become quite damp from sweat for example, after getting away from group situation I just want to collapse on bed and will not be able to even raise my arm until I have recharged.

I think that Wikipedia page about introvert has more information of how different our worlds are.

I honestly don't think posting online is any indication of whether or not a person is introverted. I find TCS posting or email far easier than face to face (or even phone) conversations. I have as much time as I need to process what others have said and formulate replies, and I can log off and walk away at any time without causing any offence. If this was real life I wouldn't even show up...I'm in cold sweats just thinking about it :lol3:

Columbine said:

I honestly don't think posting online is any indication of whether or not a person is introverted. I find TCS posting or email far easier than face to face (or even phone) conversations. I have as much time as I need to process what others have said and formulate replies, and I can log off and walk away at any time without causing any offence. If this was real life I wouldn't even show up...I'm in cold sweats just thinking about it :lol3:

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How about speaking in a phone compared to face to face?

For me phone is even worse than face to face for some reason, so I stopped using it completely.

JTbo said:

How about speaking in a phone compared to face to face?

For me phone is even worse than face to face for some reason, so I stopped using it completely.

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Me too. I hate being on the phone and will avoid it whenever possible. 

Yep - I HATE phone conversations...to the point where the only phone I'll answer is my mobile (cell), and then only if I know the person calling!

If it's anyone other than my parents (who I live with), I'm in a cold sweat by the time I hang up

Oh yes, I remember that cold sweat from speaking in a phone, once I had to work as technical support and when driving some hours I was required to do that support task at same time, car seat was usually wet from sweat after those calls.
These days I consider speaking over phone inhuman thing to do that should be banned

This test is bit more accurate I guess:
http://www.humanmetrics.com/cgi-win/jtypes2.asp

For me it scores like this, I'm INTJ type, which is not a surprise:
Introvert(91%) iNtuitive(53%) Thinking(81%) Judging(75%)
http://www.humanmetrics.com/personality/intj

Some questions were bit between two, some situations differ and sometimes hard to tell which would be most often, but I guess that type is really lot of me, especially that Achilles heel

You see, level of luck required to form a partnership is somewhat astronomical levels, no matter what everyone thinks, I know it is impossible, but then again I am quite happy alone too, stupid spring is just approaching and getting everything messed up once again

Note: I probably have Asperger's too, but I've never been diagnosed.

I once heard that the difference between an introvert and an extrovert is that an introvert is emotionally drained by being around people, and they need some alone time to recharge before being around people again, and an extrovert is emotionally charged by being around people, and needs to be around people to recharge. You can't tell this by their outward behavior, it's purely how it makes them feel.

I'm an introvert. If we had a TCS party, I WOULD be in the corner, talking to the cats and not the humans :lol3:. I don't mind large anonymous crowds at all; I feel alone in the crowd. Probably from growing up in big cities. But if it's people I sort of know or who have some sort of expectations of me, no, that would drain me very quickly. I'm much better at communicating in text because I can always turn off the device if I don't want to engage anymore, and I don't have to worry if someone is getting mad because I'm not good at eye contact, if I'm moving my hands oddly, etc. Being face-to-face is nerve-wracking!

I hate phone conversations too. The funny thing is, I used to work in a call center and did fine. But that's work, not chit-chat. I can do scripted phone work. I wouldn't be able to do any phone work that required establishing a rapport with the customer through conversation though. I also deal with the public all day in my work, and I do fine with that. I can do small talk---how about this weather, what about that event, etc.--- but more than a minute or 2 and I'd implode, lol.