or Connect
TheCatSite.com › Forums › General Forums › The Cat Lounge › Well...it looks like Shell's single...again
New Posts  All Forums:Forum Nav:

Well...it looks like Shell's single...again

post #1 of 18
Thread Starter 
Yep, you read that right. For those of you who wished me well with the last "big" date, I appreciate it but it looks like it wasn't meant to be. Jon is a great guy, but we definitely bump heads when it comes to certain things. I can honestly say I've never met a man more opinionated about things in all my life! Unfortunately, we never agreed on any of those opinions. So, I had to bite the bullet & break things off with him. I feel awful about it because he really is a nice guy, but just not the guy for me. I could tell that he was disappointed & maybe a little hurt...which makes me feel like such a witch (well..ya know what I really want to say!). We discussed how we could stay friends & occasionally hang out together, but he declined. That was just weird for me...I never had anyone tell me that they didn't want to be my friend. I guess maybe I deserved that comment in a way & maybe that's for the best too. It just might be too uncomfortable for a while.

Well...I just thought I'd give ya'll an update even though it's not a very good one.

But.....on a brighter note & ironically as this may be...there might be another guy lurking in the background for me. I actually met him a few months ago & have become pretty close friends. I talk to him (Brian) quite a bit about relationship problems and normal stuff that goes on in my life & he actually helped me weigh the pros and cons about Jon. He also hinted that he was interested in me which through me for a loop! When I met him, I thought for sure I was outta his league & never showed much interest because I didn't want to get shot down. So, just maybe there a spark or two there....I dunno. But I can say, that Brian didn't influence me on my decision with Jon. I guess that just wasn't to be. Anyhoo...I just wanted to update the situation for all of you "nosey" peopleI would NEVER name names....but you all know who you are! LOL!
post #2 of 18
I thought my hubby was way outta my league and we are married now
I think you did the right thing, and hopefully brian will ask you out soon so we will have another date to help ya pick out clothes for
post #3 of 18
Thread Starter 
LOL! I'll remember that Val! Thanks!
post #4 of 18
Sounds like you did the right thing. Better to break things off now then wait until there are more emotions involved, on both sides.

I'm sure you'll find the right guy eventually Shell! He's out there somewhere!
post #5 of 18
Thread Starter 
Thanks Tammie! I know Mr. Right is out there....it's just find him!

I told Jon that another big reason why I can't be in a relationship right now is my uncertainity of where I'll be in the next few months or even years. I haven't really announced it yet on here because it's not completely official, but it looks like I'll be moving again in March. I was really hoping that I'd get to stay in Lincoln, but it looks like I'll be moving to Columbus Nebraska (about 1 1/2) North west of Lincoln. It figures....just when I started to enjoy living here, I have to move. Jon agreed though...it's too hard to have a long distance relationship & since we weren't getting along all that great, it's best to end it now. It just sucks though...I felt horrible having to give the "Can we just be friends" speech. I think I'd rather have my wisdom teeth hanked out first! LOL!

Thanks again!
post #6 of 18
Originally posted by Shell
I think I'd rather have my wisdom teeth hanked out first! LOL!

Thanks again!
Whats it like in Nebraska anyway? Not to be rude, but to me it looks like it would quite ummmmm slow paced.
Anyway, good luck.
Oh and are you Shell? or Michelle? or is Shell just an abriviated verion of Michelle? Thanks
post #7 of 18
It seems that whenever I STOPPED looking, someone dropped right into my lap and whenever I WAS looking, what I got was BAD.

Watch that nesting urge, too. The last time that I gave in to that, I wound up in a 5-month marriage to an alcoholic adulterer. I was just about your age, too.

Whatever happens, good luck and hang in there. There have to be SOME nice guys left.
post #8 of 18
I was the same as Cindy - I was single for 5 years and decided not to look for a guy, just got on with my life and Jake drops into my lap as well. It was totally unexpected

When it is the right time, it will happen. Good luck!

who me, nosy? never!
post #9 of 18
Well Shell, I think you did the right thing. Better to break it off if you have misgivings than to keep going and making excuses to yourself just so you have somebody. Being single isn't the worst thing in the world, contrary to popular belief.
post #10 of 18
Sorry it dodn't work out, but from what you've said it was for the best. I'm sure you'll find that special someone soon
post #11 of 18
hey Shell, I'm sorry that things dun work out this time but I'm sure some guy is there for you.. just wait and he might be round the corner...
post #12 of 18
Thread Starter 
Originally posted by Cougar
Whats it like in Nebraska anyway? Not to be rude, but to me it looks like it would quite ummmmm slow paced.
Anyway, good luck.
Oh and are you Shell? or Michelle? or is Shell just an abriviated verion of Michelle?
I actually go by both names. Shell is my nickname with everyone...there are people who never call me by my actual name. Actually I think the only people who actually call me by Michelle are people at work or people that I don't know as well. So, call me either one & I'll answer.

As for Nebraska, it's not as slow paced as some people may think. I grew up in a small town & that of course was slower paced than the cities. Right now, I live in a fair good sized town of 200,000 people, so I don't feel that things are slow at all.
post #13 of 18
Thread Starter 
Thanks everyone for the encouraging words. It was just so difficult to do since I'm one that absolutely hates hurting someones feelings. I know it was the right thing to do though. I just couldn't see myself getting along with him for much longer since I didn't agree with most of his strong beliefs on certain issues. Like I told him last night, it felt like I was always having a debate with him. He doesn't like my Company that I work for, we don't agree on religion, he's hardcore into politics & he judges people very quickly and quite harshly too. I on the other hand, love my company, I don't practice religion, I'm not into politics & I'm not one to judge someone based on trivial things. The biggest problem we had was how I work for Walmart & how he can't stand Walmart. I don't expect a guy to like everything I do, but I can't handle someone who hates something that I'm passionate about. He just couldn't understand why that would bother me when I explained that to him last night.

Anyway...as for the "nesting", I understand completely. I do have to be careful when it comes to that because I tend to fall hard & right away. The cool thing about the other guy Brian is that he knows everything about my relationship problems & has always lended me a helping hand to sort out men problems. It's almost like he's a "girl friend" at times, but yet he always gives me a straight answer....never sugar coats things. But I'm not looking for anything wonderful to happen between Brian & myself....if it happens great, if not I still have a great friend. I think you guys are right about how the right guy will show up when you least expect it & when you're not looking. You never know what may happen!

Thanks again everyone! I appreciate it!
post #14 of 18
What??? A guy who can't stand Walmart??? Good riddance! pffft

(just kidding..... )

Sorry it didn't work out for you guys but...

hehehe.... Can't wait for your next 'first date' *sits and waits*

I'm sure once you meet 'the one', you'll know right away. Myself... I married to my grandma's paperboy. We've known each other for over 25 years now. *ouch* That reality really hurts. I feel old.....

We were friends forever before we became a couple. But once I knew.... I really did know.

Be patient. Your time will come. In the meantime.... enjoy your single years.
post #15 of 18
Its too bad things didn't work out for you, but at least you had some very good reasons. On top of that, if jon can't understand why he can't hate Wal-mart in your face without offending you then he's not likely to respect or accept any other differences or opinions. -looks like you're being wise about your dating choices. Keep your head up Shell. The best is yet to come.
post #16 of 18

This guy sounds quite a bit like a guy I dated for a long time. We are now the best of friends, but the constant bad mouthing of the educational system (which I work for) and every other opinionated statement that constantly flies out of his mouth got very tiring after awhile. It wasn't the only reason the relationship flopped, but it's a lot easier to listen to the stuff now that I no longer have a stake in it, so to speak. It's funny, because we had a long debate tonight on how he is just not the most sensitive man on the planet. And it was soooo much easier to have the discussion in the friendship mode.
post #17 of 18
hang in there Shell,Mr.Right is out there somewhere
post #18 of 18
Hang in there Shell, and don't worry. Things have a way of working themselves out. The best kind of guy to be with (IMO)is a really good guy friend or even your best friend. I have had an on again off again relationship with my alternating BF, friend, fiancee, ex-fiancee, friend, etc. For over 20 years. It is just now that my trust in his love for me is complete. I always thought I needed or wanted a different type of guy and here I am back with the person I started with so long ago. Our relationship is better than ever, now that I finally "let him in" (no innuendos intended here!) I have dealt with SO many dishonest men and my relationship with my father isn't very good, so I don't trust men easily, but my "friend" is truly the one I am supposed to be with forever, I am convinced of that now.

Your right guy will come along someday, or maybe you will hook up with a guy friend. Who knows? in the meantime, just enjoy the freedom the single life offers.
New Posts  All Forums:Forum Nav:
  Return Home
  Back to Forum: The Cat Lounge
TheCatSite.com › Forums › General Forums › The Cat Lounge › Well...it looks like Shell's single...again