Fostering (with plans to adopt) a semi-feral cat, need help please!

Hey everyone. I was recently looking to adopt a cat, and I came across a cute 18 month old Siamese cat. The woman from the organization told me that I could foster him to see how things went. She found him when he was only about a month or so old, and he's been with her ever since. She said that he is scared of new people, gets along well with other cats, and is somewhat of a laid back cat who will usually only play if you initiate it. He wasn't scared of her or her family after while, and she was able to pick him up and pet him all the time. 

I've had him for 11 days. I have two roommates, one who also has a cat, so I've kept my cat in my room.

Day 1: I was initially talking to him lots and giving him treats, but he was very scared and was hiding out in a kitty condo. He wasn't eating anything during the day either, he waited until I was asleep.

Day 2: I could pet him, but he often cowered (and still does) when I initially reach out to pet him (I let him smell my hand first).

Day 3: He met the other cat briefly, but he was scared and the other cat ran away too. I decided to pay little attention to him, and that night I came into my room and he was on my desk. He hid behind my laptop, which was fine, except I had homework to do. I slowly walked up to my desk, sat down, and began working. He chilled there for quite awhile before stretching out and having a nap. As soon as I stood up an hour later, he was scared and jumped off. The next day he was scared again and I felt like I was back at square one. The owner told me to maybe give him lots of attention and let him know that I'm safe.

Day 6: I gave him lots of attention, and he was hanging out on my desk, and again napped there for over an hour while I did homework. The next morning we were once again back at square one. In the meantime, my roommate returned the kitty condo, so the cat began hiding in my closet.

Day 8: Late afternoon, I left my bedroom door open and he briefly went out to explore. I tried to get him to play, and for about 20 minutes he hungout under my desk while I tossed a fur ball string with a bell on it towards him, and he was absolutely loving it. 

Day 9: He was scared again, and the owner came by to drop off some Feliway spray. He was scared at first, but she held him tight and pet him while he was attempting to escape. Awhile later he was purring and kneading, walking up to both of us and being affectionate. He got a bit too stimulated and was wanting to wrestle with her hand. She stayed for an hour, and quite soon after she left, he returned to being scared and hiding in my closet.

Day 10: He was extremely nervous and scared, and hissed at me about 8-10 times throughout the day. Prior to this, he had only hissed at me twice. 

Day 11 (today): The other cat came into my room this afternoon, and they ended up chasing each other back and forth a bit (as cats often do upon meeting each other). When I got home from class, he was hiding under my blankets, as he does quite often while I'm gone. It was getting late and he hadn't ate forever, so I brought him out from under the blankets and fed him. He initially hid in my closet, but soon after came over and ate. Now he's just laying on my bedroom floor by the closet, but I know he'd be scared if I stood up. 

Sorry for the lengthy timeline, but I felt it was important to be detailed. I've been patient and tried both giving him lots of attention and petting him frequently, and also paying little attention to him. Both methods have each resulted in him sleeping on my desk on one occasion. I just have no idea what to do next. Should I keep giving him lots of attention, or just ignore him? It seems when we do make progress, the next day he has completely forgotten about the strides we made. 

It can take a semi feral cat a very long time to adjust to new people and new surroundings.  Do not expect him to ever be a cuddly lovey dovey lap kitty.  He may learn to snuggle with you, but it will take time, patience and hard work on your part. 

I brought a feral/stray cat who had been living outside on his own for almost 2 years.  It took him a full year to adjust to indoor living and adjust to my family.  It took another year for him to adapt to the resident cat.  It took a lot of work.

You are only on day 11.  You have a very long long way to go.

You do not want to ignore him.  You want to visit him for short periods many many times a day.  Each time you visit, sit on the floor or at his level so you do not loom over him.  Watch for direct eye contact too.  Some semi feral cat don't like direct eye contact.  Keep your gaze down or over the top of his head.  Each visit bring him something yummy.  Try a piece of plain cooked chicken or canned salmon or tuna.  Just a small piece or two.  If he doesn't eat it in your presence that's ok.  Just put it in his dish.  He will learn to associate you with something yummy.

Sit and talk with him.  Tell him about your day.  Then leave the room after 5-10 minutes.  Come back again in an hour or two.  You want him to get very used to you coming and going and interacting with him.  If he is afraid that's ok.  Just talk to him and tell him he is safe and that you will take care of him. 

At this point I wouldn't allow him out of your room or have any interactions with the other cat.  Cats are territorial by nature.  They are not like dogs that sniff and then get along.  Cats can take a very long time to adjust to one another.  There are proper techniques for cat to cat intros that need to be taken slowly.  You first want to work on this cat getting used to you.

If the cat is hiding in your closet or under a bed or other spaces not out in the open, you want to block them off.  You can keep one space, but be sure that you can always reach him.  Cats can hide in very small places.  You want him out in the open more and more.  You can give him a cat tree with a hiding box or even just an old box with a blanket that you face against a wall.  Provide a few cozy beds (maybe one on your desk). 

Do you have a Feliway diffuser?  You need one for your bedroom and then maybe more when he is ready to be out and about.  Also look into Composure liquid max or composure calming treats.  They are nonsedating calming supplements that help a cat adjust to new situations.  I prefer the liquid as it is easiest to mix into wet food.  The treats take 3 or more at a time and some cats don't like the taste and texture.  You can find this product online.

Feral cats will move at one step forward and many steps back.  Each day will be different for awhile.  Just keep plugging along.  As I said it could be quite a long time before he fully adjusts.  By allowing him time out of your room, it is really bombarding him with too much too soon.  He needs to adjust to you and your room first.  Also no interactions between the other cat right now.  That too is just too much too soon.

When you are not in the room you can play a radio with soft music for him.  Most cats really like this.  There is even special calming cat harp music you can download on Amazon.  I have it and my cats love it. 

He will hiss at you because he is scared.  It may be that you are trying to do too much too soon.  Try to be very consistent.  He will do best when things are the same day in and day out.  You also can try to give him a bit of catnip or a few toys and see if he is interested.  Just keep the interactions quiet and calm.  Quick loud movements will scare him.

You have done a wonderful thing in adopting him.  Just be patient and give him lots and lots of time.  He will progress.  Set your goals for him in very small segments.  Don't be surprised if they need to be broken down even further. 

Thanks for your reply! 

ShadowsRescue said:

You do not want to ignore him.  You want to visit him for short periods many many times a day.  Each time you visit, sit on the floor or at his level so you do not loom over him.  Watch for direct eye contact too.  Some semi feral cat don't like direct eye contact.  Keep your gaze down or over the top of his head.  Each visit bring him something yummy.  Try a piece of plain cooked chicken or canned salmon or tuna.  Just a small piece or two.  If he doesn't eat it in your presence that's ok.  Just put it in his dish.  He will learn to associate you with something yummy.

Sit and talk with him.  Tell him about your day.  Then leave the room after 5-10 minutes.  Come back again in an hour or two.  You want him to get very used to you coming and going and interacting with him.  If he is afraid that's ok.  Just talk to him and tell him he is safe and that you will take care of him. 

Ok, I won't ignore him anymore. When I do visit him, I always try and go down to his level, and I had been doing the slow blink method, rather than avoiding direct eye contact. But I'll try and use your method and see how that goes too. I give him treats a couple times per day, and he now eats them right in front of me, and once in awhile he'll eat directly out of my hand. The only thing that is difficult is visiting him for only 5-10 minutes, since I study in my room the majority of the time. I'll try and cut back on that though. 

At this point I wouldn't allow him out of your room or have any interactions with the other cat.  Cats are territorial by nature.  They are not like dogs that sniff and then get along.  Cats can take a very long time to adjust to one another.  There are proper techniques for cat to cat intros that need to be taken slowly.  You first want to work on this cat getting used to you.

​I thought that the other cat might help him adjust, since he came from a home with a few other cats. But you are right they're territorial. I'll cut back on that. 

If the cat is hiding in your closet or under a bed or other spaces not out in the open, you want to block them off.  You can keep one space, but be sure that you can always reach him.  Cats can hide in very small places.  You want him out in the open more and more.  You can give him a cat tree with a hiding box or even just an old box with a blanket that you face against a wall.  Provide a few cozy beds (maybe one on your desk). 

Ohh I thought that blocking off his hiding spots would make him dislike me! I'll rig something up today and try to keep my closet doors shut tight (they're sliding doors that he has figured out how to open, haha). And hopefully if I make my bed he won't be able to get under the covers. I had bought a bed with a roof for him, but he has only laid in it once. 

Do you have a Feliway diffuser?  You need one for your bedroom and then maybe more when he is ready to be out and about.  Also look into Composure liquid max or composure calming treats.  They are nonsedating calming supplements that help a cat adjust to new situations.  I prefer the liquid as it is easiest to mix into wet food.  The treats take 3 or more at a time and some cats don't like the taste and texture.  You can find this product online.

I'll invest in one, I've just been trying to use the spray for the time being. 

When you are not in the room you can play a radio with soft music for him.  Most cats really like this.  There is even special calming cat harp music you can download on Amazon.  I have it and my cats love it. 

I'll try it out today!

He will hiss at you because he is scared.  It may be that you are trying to do too much too soon.  Try to be very consistent.  He will do best when things are the same day in and day out.  You also can try to give him a bit of catnip or a few toys and see if he is interested.  Just keep the interactions quiet and calm.  Quick loud movements will scare him.

You have done a wonderful thing in adopting him.  Just be patient and give him lots and lots of time.  He will progress.  Set your goals for him in very small segments.  Don't be surprised if they need to be broken down even further. 

Thank you so much for your help. I'll be sure to keep updating you. Do you have any suggestions for how to get him to stop hiding in his litter box? He hasn't done it for awhile, but I'm afraid if I keep the closet shut, he'll revert to hiding in there again.

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Great advice from ShadowsRescue!!! I can't top it, but will tell you about Victoria, the Siamese street urchin one of my sisters rescued. She hid for 6 MONTHS in her room, but ended up being the most snuggleable, playful cat. She was so much fun-- being on the streets then going inside just seemed to amp her personality. So be patient, and you WILL be rewarded!!!!

Is the litter box a covered type with a lid or hood?  If so, remove it and have it out in the open.  Once he stops hiding there, you can put the hood or lid back on.  Hiding in a litter box is not a good thing.  No one wants to sit in their waste.

If you study in your room that is ok.  Just be sure to try and interact with him every hour or so.  Maybe get up leave the room and when you re enter, bring a treat or two. 

Do you have roommates that will also be interacting with him?  If so you might want them to slowly get to know him.  They too can come in and just sit on the floor and offer a treat.

He may get upset that you took away his hiding spots, but just give him appropriate ones.  Hiding under the covers is ok as long as it's not all day.

You are doing really well with him.  Keep on working!

He's stopped hiding in the litter box, but if he reverts back to that when I take away his closet hiding spot then I'll take the hood off. My roommates have met him a couple times, I'll continue to let them see him every few days. Thanks!

misterwhiskers said:

Great advice from ShadowsRescue!!! I can't top it, but will tell you about Victoria, the Siamese street urchin one of my sisters rescued. She hid for 6 MONTHS in her room, but ended up being the most snuggleable, playful cat. She was so much fun-- being on the streets then going inside just seemed to amp her personality. So be patient, and you WILL be rewarded!!!!

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Thanks, I'll keep that in mind on the frustrating days haha.