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You might be a caffeine addict if...

post #1 of 13
Thread Starter 
you think sleep is for the weak.

you've just had your 20th cup of coffee within 20 minutes on a Friday afternoon, at 4 o'clock, just so "the milk doesn't go bad over the weekend."

you believe that the coffee bean is a vegetable.

you have a website about caffeine.

you're on a first name basis with Juan Valdez.

your heart beats noticeably faster as a reaction to the smell of coffee.

your heart rate is always in triple digits.

you know from experience caffeine tablets don't dissolve in cola.

you wake up to Mountain Dew, before switching to JOLT.

you can name the five flavors of JOLT.

you have a mini-fridge under your desk... and a catheter.

you drink decaf by accident and slip into a coma.

you ask, "Sleep? What's that?"

you go to the doctor because you're afraid there might be blood in your Mountain Dew stream.

every coffee company wants to have your picture on their packs of coffee powder.

your heart only beats twice an hour and your eyes won't shut anymore.

your wife asked you to buy milk, bread and butter and you heard "buy coffee, coffee and coffee."

your slogan is "Save water, drink coffee."

your child's name is Nescafe.

Mountain Dew is the stuff great decisions are made of.

Starbucks has decided to use you as their official mascot.

you've ever carried your coffee cup into the shower with you in the morning.

you regard the fact that your hands are shaking as a good sign.

you have tattooed across the knuckles of your hands "JOLT" and "COLA."

your birthday is a national holiday in Colombia.

you go to sleep just to wake up and smell the coffee.

your coffee pot is next to your bed and your alarm clock is in the kitchen.

you've ever used the airplane's Call button just to get a coffee refill.

you've ever knelt and prayed before a Starbuck's logo.

your web page has the Mountain Dew color scheme.

you can't remember the last time you blinked.

you have on more than one occasion snorted instant coffee.

you have distilled Jolt Cola to make it more potent.

you have dark brown colored hair but you are a natural blonde and have never dyed it.

the dishes in your house are all coffee cups.

your dog's name is Folgers.

you see nothing wrong with using water joe (the caffeinated water) to make the coffee you use to take your no-doze.

it's 6:09 AM and you're on your 2nd 20oz. cup of coffee.

you have to drink some form of caffeinated beverage just to sleep.

you'd rather be beaten over the head with a sledgehammer than give up that first cup of coffee in the morning.

you've given up sex, TV, and all forms of meat for Lent before, but STILL can't make it 40 days without caffeine.

you could live in a desert like a hermit, eating bugs for food, as long as you had enough coffee beans with you.

you suck on a used coffee filter (full of coffee grounds) whenever the can runs out of coffee.

you dip espresso beans.
post #2 of 13
OMG someone has been writing about me!
post #3 of 13
Haha! That was good Lorie. Thanks for sharing.
post #4 of 13
Ha Ha.

In Canada Mountain Dew (actually any light coloured soda) doesen't have caffeine in it. Only dark ones like Coke and Pepsi do.
post #5 of 13
LMAO.... I 'gave up' caffine for my diet..... lots of water but no cola or coffee..... it's driving me nuts!!!!!!!!!
post #6 of 13
Oh my, somebody is writing about all the population of Puerto Rico!!!

It may sound strange of a 14 year old like me who can't live without coffee, but neither can my girlfriend.

Except that we do not drink that dirty water that Americans call coffee, we drink Puerto Rican coffee (It's of such high standards, that in some countries it has luxury taxes), either Crema or Yaucono brand. And then it has to be really strong, (undescribably strong) with milk and three heaping spoonfuls of sugar. The mere mention of things like Starbucks, Folgers and such bring my stomach apart . When we visited the states, the only brand of coffee we actually liked, since it tasted more or less like coffee, was Bustello, from Colombia . And I've found people who say it's so strong it tastes like battery acid.
post #7 of 13
you drink decaf by accident and slip into a coma

This is why I don't drink coffee, at my parents' house!
post #8 of 13
yoviher, I have a friend with family from Puerto Rico, and her grandmother used to send her coffee occasionally. It was WONDERFUL!!
My s/o is a tattoo artist, and I have been trying to get him to do the black Juan Valdez graphic from the coffe bags on me for years.
post #9 of 13
you go to the doctor because you're afraid there might be blood in your Mountain Dew stream.
This could be me
post #10 of 13
i declare myself NOT a caffeine addict!!
post #11 of 13
I'm not a caffeine addict, just a coffee addict. When I see the word caffeine, I only think coffee. It's my only source of caffeine.

Yoviher, I sometimes buy Puerto Rican coffee, I can't think of the name of it, but it's basically espresso. My friend's mom, who is from Puerto Rico makes really strong coffee! I can remember in college, some Puerto Rican girls were debating with my Honduran friends over which coffee is "mas rico". Pretty funny.

I have recently discovered Kona coffee, because my friend brought me some from Hawaii. Good stuff, very smooth, but still strong enough.
post #12 of 13
They must be talking about me
post #13 of 13
To those who like Puerto Rican coffee: You have some of the most refined tastes on earth . Now... on to Puerto Rican Rum!
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