I hit a deer lastnight...I cant let it go..

krazy kat2:

Thanks. I know if the deer had lived I'd be ok. Shaken up by the close call, but I'd have been ok. I'm glad I wasnt hurt and didnt cause anyone else to be hurt. I felt horrible about the deer, but at the time I had only 2 choices: The deer or the people behind me. Oh yeah they run out fast..the first one zipped accross the road..the second one gave me no warning. I'm trying to let it go..I just keep thinking I should've been going slower..even though I was already below the speed limit. It was an accident though you're right. I didnt do it on purpose. Thanks for the hugs...I need them. *hugs*

WellingtonCats:

I'm still kinda in the shock/why me phase and depressed. I only ate supper tonight. I'm kinda disenterested in everything. Other than that I am alittle better.

Awwwww I hope she made it too...I bet she was if she left afterwards. I had a dog of mine (the same one I have now) get hit when I was in elementary school or middle..I cant remember...anyway I was waiting for the school bus and there was this car just flying down the road (I live on a tiny country road)My dog(Baby) was waiting with me, but was in the field across the road. I thought I better call her so she'd be with me and I could hold her. I didnt want her to get ran over. I didnt realize how fast the car was going and then suddenly I was watching Baby roll underneath. I screamed and cryed and miracoulously once she got out from under the car she walked over to me alittle dazed but ok. That car was flying and low to the ground. If she was ok I bet that dog was too.
I still wonder if that deer would've made it if it hadnt been for the other cars after me since Baby made it. It's so odd how this stuff happens.

Amber, Please stay strong and eat! I know what these kind of things can do to you. Take care.

Yea, often I find myself wondering if that dog made it okay. But what else were we supposed to do? My dogs got hit last year as well, it was heartwrenching but they thank goodness were alright. Sorry to hear about Baby, but glad she was okay.

Wow. I wish I could say I know how you feel but I have never come close to hitting anything. But I can tell you that one reason why you are so effected by this is because you have a HUGH heart and the second reason is you are having as strange as this sounds Survivors remorse.

even though a part of me wishes it was me instead of the deer

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That's one reason I say this. When someone endures a survives a tragic event they wounder why? why didn't this happen why did it happen to that person but not me? Those are the things you are asking those are the things that seem to be running through your head. Maybe the Deer was sick. who knows!! you need to sit and think about it. you were very lucky!!!!! did you know that there are thousands of accidents involving deer that cause major injury to people. You did what you could. Learn from this. Go and buy the deer warning whistles since you do live in a deer populated area it would be a wonderous investment. They really do work well! atleast that is what I would say is the reason I have never had a close call. I have never driven a vehicle without um! I am sending you good vibes to help you with this. Take care and don't be afraid to drive at nite. it will only hinder you not help you.

WellingtonCats:
I'm trying my best. I'll be ok eventually I have to my cats and Lyle need me. I just dont have any interest in food. I guess cause the images still wont go away. Dont worry I'm forcing myself to eat.

Thankfully both our dogs were ok...odd isnt it? Something so much smaller than a deer made it ok. Thanks. I'm glad too. I could'nt help but blame myself for years that if I hadnt called her she might've stayed on the side of the road and it not happened. Who knows. That was so many years ago.

Oh gosh....u poor thing...
remember though it was not your fault...I know how you feel looking at animals as being more than just an animal...gentle souls see an animal for what they really are...and you are one
forgive yourself hun...im sure the deer already has...
Lorien

himmymommy:

Thanks. I'm trying to see it that way..It's not like I put the deer there. I do see them as more than animals. I have since childhood. They were my only friends alot of times as a child and growing up I've noticed how smart they are. They are so not 'just' animals. It makes me feel good that you can notice that about me. Lyle get annoyed sometimes. I wont even kill bugs.
I'm trying to forgive myself. I just wish I could bring the deer back. I hope it knows I didnt do it on purpose.

WillowsMom:

I'm glad you havnt and I hope you never do. It's definately not a pleasureable situation and is something I would never wish on anyone.
Awww thank you...it's an honor that someone sees that in me. I just try my best to be nice to everyone...animal or human. Survivors remorse? I never even noticed something like that. I didnt even notice I typed what I did. I do feel that way though. I know in truth if I had to choose I would want it the way it was. My Fiancee would really be devastated if he lost me. My cats need me and I'm not looking to die..Like you said..I'm mainly just wondering 'why me?'.
I know I was lucky. So many other things could've happened but didnt. It's just so hard to forget the images. The fear...I thought I was gonna pass out from fear and I still dont know how I got home. Grandma had some deer whistles she never used I'm gonna try. I just hope them things really do make them run and not attract them. Thanks for the vibes. I'm gonna have to face the night again I know eventually. I just dont want to. You're right though...in the end it will hinder me. That's why I think if I take it slow I'll be ok.

I'm so sorry sweetie

{{{{Amber}}}}

Well I'm off to bed. Lyle is taking me to town tommorow.I'll be out past dark. Im terrified to go outside after dark even so I'm not sure if he has the right idea me doing this so soon. He's got it in his head it will be good for me to get out of the house. He's even saying he wants me to drive. Whether or not this whole Idea of his is good or not is yet to be seen. If I dont get on here tommorow I will for sure Sunday. Goodnight and thanks for everything you've all said today. It has helped talking to you guys rather than just sitting here alone.

Originally posted by chelle
I'm so sorry sweetie

{{{{Amber}}}}

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Thank you Chelle. *hugs*

I'm sorry you had to go through that, but it wasn't your fault. You did all you could to avoid hitting the deer without endangering other road users. You should be proud you reacted so sensibly, I'm pretty sure I'd have just slammed on the brakes and caused a huge accident.

As for those people who are telling you that it was 'only' a deer, you know they mean well, they just don't have the same perspective as you. The fact that you are so upset just goes to show how much you love animals.

I hope you're feeling better, remember you need to start driving again on your own timescale. Sending you (((((((((((Hugs)))))))))) from Jeepers and I, and hope you're okay.

Amber, you did as well as you could. Why did it happen to you? You were simply in the wrong place at the wrong time, but averted a complete disaster by keeping your cool and reacting reasonably. It will take awhile for you to get over this, but you shouldn't blame yourself in any way. I was in a similar situation 4 years ago. I had been at a colleague's retirement party, and was driving home late at night along a 4-lane highway that went through woods. I've had a driver's license for 30 years and doubt that I've exceeded speed limits more than 5 - 10 times during that period, so call me overcautious. That night I saw a "wildlife crossing" sign, and slowed a bit, because I've had a number of encounters with wild boar in our area, and really slowed down when I saw something flit across the highway. The result was that the man behind me thought I was being overcautious, and passed me at high speed. He hit a huge stag. The stag was killed, the car was totalled, and the man ended up in intensive care, but survived. The whole incident shook me up, but how could I have acted differently? I still try to avoid driving that particular stretch. I think people should take speed limits and warning signs more seriously, but as you obviously did, you should try to accept that the situation was beyond your control.

Hi! I was checking to see if you were feeling any better. I hope so.

I'm sorry you had to go through that. I know how you feel - and I'm not just saying that. I really do know how you feel. I can't go into details, because it's too hard for me to talk about it - it has to do with an animal. It's no secret, it's just that it's too hard for me to think about it. But I will tell you another story. Last week, we had relatives staying with us. We went out to eat in their car that night. On the way back we hit a deer. We slowed down a lot when the first deer went by. Then the second one came out and we weren't going very fast at all, because the person driving saw the deer coming. But it did do a lot of damage to the car, put the driver into a depression (making it the third deer he's hit in three months - two with the same car), and I'm sure it probably killed the deer. But we couldn't find the deer, so I can't be sure of that. I never saw any deer at all that whole night - I never do. I can't drive at night at all because I have night blindness - a permanent side effect from my laser eye surgery that I had when I was legally blind to correct my vision. So, I can't drive at night - ever. I can't see anything when it's dark. So, I wouldn't worry too much about driving at night right now. Give yourself time. If the time comes where you really have to or need to, then you just will - and you'll be fine.

Well lastnight wasnt as bad as I thought it would be. He figured it best to get me out of the house and it did help some. Took my mind off it for a little while. On the way to town a huge dog was out in the road. That scared me. It made it though...but it showed me even though it's daylight I'm gonna be scared about this awhile. We went to a indoor flea market. That was ok until there was an indian booth and I saw deer hooves and antlers. I had no warning about that and so it kinda upset me. The woman even started telling me they make everything theirselves and to come and look around. I was upset and said: "including kill the animals for that stuff?" and I pointed to the deer stuff. I know it was rude, but I was upset and I really dont think that stuff should be right there in the front for kids to see. We left and went to Pizza Hut and then to the mall. I was OK then untill we started to leave. Once we got out of town as soon as we left the last light pole and was in the dark I started to panic. I kept seeing things on the side and wanted to scream and cry, but didnt because I knew it could cause him to be distracted. Instead I sat stiff as a stone and silently cried praying we'd get home fast and soon. I guess this means I'm gonna be upset a while....Tuesday I have to take a math test at his job since I'm trying to get on there. I'm not ready to drive at night yet...Thursday when this all happened I promised her (his boss) I would come in and take the test. Then this happened. I'll be working second shift. Do you guys think it will be ok aslong as I go really slow at night? I hate to back out on this...I need a job so bad and she's extremely short on help. I just dont know what to do. I'm just. afraid I'll freak when I first drive at night alone again.

jeeperscat:

Thanks. I am proud of myself for that, but still really suprised that I didnt swerve or something else.


Those people may have a different perspective..which I respect...but I dont at all like it. They were all more worried about my truck or me than the deer. I think that deer deserved to be cared about too. I'm glad it's obvious I'm an animal lover.

I'm starting to feel alittle bit better...getting out of the house did help. I was terrified riding home with him lastnight so it looks like it's gonna be a long time before I willingly drive at night. Thanks *hugs* *pets Jeepers*

krazy kat2:

Thank you! I'm alittle better thanks to Lyle getting me out of the house. I was terrified during the ride home lastnight, so it looks like it's gonna be awhile before I'm over this.

jcat:

I know you're right, it's just so hard to not blame myself. Like you said though I did keep everyone else safe. Oh wow...that would scare the crap out of me. I'm always afraid that a deer will run across the road right as a car is coming when I wont be able to see as well to avoid it or that someone will pass me like they did you and hit one. I'm suprised when I started to slow down that the cars didnt pass me. I'm glad you and that guy are ok.
That is one thing that will be a problem for me..the ONLY way into or out of town is by going over that section of road where this happened.
People dont pay attention. The woman behind me even admitted she wasnt paying attention. I look for things like that and even I was caught off guard. That road is 55, but alot of people go alot faster. I'm just thankfull that like usual I was watching and wasnt going 55 at night.

georgiagirl8:


Thanks. Whatever happened that you cant talk about I'm sorry and hope you are OK *hugs* It must've been bad cause I can atleast talk about this. I'm glad everyone was ok in that accident...I cant imagine going through this 3 times! Hopefully that deer lived. Sorry about the laser vision accident. Atleast maybe now you wont have to go thru this. It was mainly the death of the deer and the visual images that are bothering me. I'm gonna have to soon. I may be getting the job where my Fiancee works. I'm not gonna have any choice so I guess all I can do is drive really slow and pray I'll be ok.