*Im gonna tell what happened after I talk about when I got home* Also If you read this all, I'm sorry it's so long..I just needed to vent and hopefully this story will be a wake up call for someone else.
When I came home lastnight I barely had the energy..or will power to feed my cats...I was in such a shock. I barely made it home. I kept seeing things on the side of the road and swerving and was shaking so much. When I did finally get my cats fed, I thought it best that I try to get my mind off of the accident. So I went online. I tried to reply to my emails and postings on TCS. I did a few...then no more. I got suddenly weak and tired and decided to just go to bed. This morning I woke up and remembered and started shaking and almost had another panic attack...then finally fell asleep again. I woke up and got up at 2:30 pm. I still feel horrible. I cant let this go and I am now terrified to go outside at night muchless drive....I decided a few minuets ago that maybe talking about this would help. I'm sure I'm not the only one on the board that has faced this.
Here's how it happened. *Warning* This may upset some...I did leave out the graphic details though...
Yesterday Lyle had to go in at 330 instead of his usual early time. I needed cat food anyway, so we decided to meet each other in town before he had to go to work(we cant afford to live together yet). Eventually it was time for him to go. I went in Walmart to get the cat food and other things I needed. I took my time. Grandma had to work and wanted me to try to get home before dark since it was gonna be really cold. I should've listened to her and come on home. None of this would've happened...Anyway I had to get gas so went to the gas station where Lyle works and got gas. I stayed in there and talked to him a few minuets and talked a while to his boss. I'm trying to get a job there and she said they were really short on help. I got an application and talked to him a few more since it was slow in there and then decided it was dark and better start home. By then it was between 545 and 600pm. The main road is 55MPH, but at night because of animals I never go over 45-50. Slower than that if I can. The road out of town to my house has lanes that merge into just a regular 2 lane road when you leave. Once past the merge there are no lights just people's house lights. I had my lights on bright. There wasnt hardly any oncoming traffic. Behind me I knew I had 3-4 cars. About 3-4 miles down the road I suddenly saw a deer(doe) run across the road (from my right). I immediatly slowed down because I assumed if there was one there could be another. I couldnt slow down much more thanks to the car right on my tail. I went a few feet and still nothing so I thought well maybe that was it. Right when I started to move my foot off the brake and accelerate there came another doe. It was only a few feet away, but I was hoping I could stop. I knew I couldnt slam on my brakes because one there was a car right on my tail and 2 because I heard you can lock up your brakes and skid. I braked as much as possible and it kept getting closer and closer in slow motion and then suddenly I knew it was gonna happen and that's when I said the heck withit and slammed on my brakes. I could hear tires squaling and feel the back of my truck moving left and right and then I saw the deer hit. I stared screaming and didnt really know what I should do. I saw a driveway about a foot or 2 away and decided I should park and get off the road. I sat there stunned screaming and the first instinct was to call someone. I couldnt remember how to use the phone. I just kept pressing buttons and somehow saw the name of Lyle's job and called. I was screaming and crying and he kept telling me to calm down..I was hysterical. I couldnt just calm down. I then remembered my truck and the deer. I looked back out on the road and saw it trying to get up. I saw the car that was on my tail pull in behind me. The others went on like nothing (they could've helped grrr). I finally went to the front of my truck and miraculously there was no damage[I checked my truck today and it looks like the deer stayed on the passengers side underneath and just slid the whole way like the woman behind me said she saw]. Lyle had to go so I called 911 (according to my phone it was 600 by then. They hooked me up with the police and after I told them the location (there was a church right down the road). The car that was behind me turned out to be a woman I think that was in her late 30s early 40s. We were talking and she was trying to help keep me calm. Then there were cars. We had to watch as people kept hitting the deer. It was so horrible the sounds and watching it be moved back and forth. We kept screaming for everyone to stop, but there was nothing we could do. Some guy came walking down the road. He said when he run over it knocked his stickshift out of gear. We all waited untill finally the cop came. Eventually we ended up in the church parkinglot and talked about what happened and the details. The woman gave me her # and address cause I thought if it damaged my truck I might need a witness for the insurance co. She then told me that I did everything right in the way I reacted. I was proud of myself because I could've easily slammed on my brakes when I saw either doe and caused a pile up. I knew at the time that as much as I love animals a deer was better than getting hit by a car and hurting those people behind me. Once the details were taken care of she left and the cop and I talked. Eventually he had to go. I was so shook up. I sat in the truck and just stared off into space. I started thinking. I was so lucky. I could've slammed on my brakes, run off the road(there were large ditches), been going faster, not been paying attention, it could've even went up onto the truck and came thru the glass. So many many things could've happened. Instead everyone, except the poor deer, is ok. I'm so thankfull...but so confused. I cant let this go...cant figure out why this happened to me. My parents, grandma, aunt and uncle have never hit one. It's so wierd...not only was I the only one to hit a deer...nothing else really happened. I finally left the church parking lot and went 35 the whole way home with my emergency lights on. [My truck seemed ok and I guess it was since it got me home]. I was shaking and so scared another one would pop out in the road. I had no warning except the first one. If it wasnt for that one, who knows what would've happened. I think that God was with me. It just now hit me...this happened at a church...everyone is ok. It's so wierd. Maybe it's a hint I need to go back to church. Maybe there's someother reason this happened. Either way, I cant let this go. I killed an animal. I could've been responsible for a pile up. All because I didnt go home before dark. Lyle just called and wants us to go to the big town about 30 mins away(we go there about once a month)I love going there, but now I am so scared to go outside at night..he's even wanting to make me drive to show me I have nothing to worry about. He doesnt understand why I cant just let this go. I dont understand why it happened...or how I'm gonna be able to drive at night again.
When I came home lastnight I barely had the energy..or will power to feed my cats...I was in such a shock. I barely made it home. I kept seeing things on the side of the road and swerving and was shaking so much. When I did finally get my cats fed, I thought it best that I try to get my mind off of the accident. So I went online. I tried to reply to my emails and postings on TCS. I did a few...then no more. I got suddenly weak and tired and decided to just go to bed. This morning I woke up and remembered and started shaking and almost had another panic attack...then finally fell asleep again. I woke up and got up at 2:30 pm. I still feel horrible. I cant let this go and I am now terrified to go outside at night muchless drive....I decided a few minuets ago that maybe talking about this would help. I'm sure I'm not the only one on the board that has faced this.
Here's how it happened. *Warning* This may upset some...I did leave out the graphic details though...
Yesterday Lyle had to go in at 330 instead of his usual early time. I needed cat food anyway, so we decided to meet each other in town before he had to go to work(we cant afford to live together yet). Eventually it was time for him to go. I went in Walmart to get the cat food and other things I needed. I took my time. Grandma had to work and wanted me to try to get home before dark since it was gonna be really cold. I should've listened to her and come on home. None of this would've happened...Anyway I had to get gas so went to the gas station where Lyle works and got gas. I stayed in there and talked to him a few minuets and talked a while to his boss. I'm trying to get a job there and she said they were really short on help. I got an application and talked to him a few more since it was slow in there and then decided it was dark and better start home. By then it was between 545 and 600pm. The main road is 55MPH, but at night because of animals I never go over 45-50. Slower than that if I can. The road out of town to my house has lanes that merge into just a regular 2 lane road when you leave. Once past the merge there are no lights just people's house lights. I had my lights on bright. There wasnt hardly any oncoming traffic. Behind me I knew I had 3-4 cars. About 3-4 miles down the road I suddenly saw a deer(doe) run across the road (from my right). I immediatly slowed down because I assumed if there was one there could be another. I couldnt slow down much more thanks to the car right on my tail. I went a few feet and still nothing so I thought well maybe that was it. Right when I started to move my foot off the brake and accelerate there came another doe. It was only a few feet away, but I was hoping I could stop. I knew I couldnt slam on my brakes because one there was a car right on my tail and 2 because I heard you can lock up your brakes and skid. I braked as much as possible and it kept getting closer and closer in slow motion and then suddenly I knew it was gonna happen and that's when I said the heck withit and slammed on my brakes. I could hear tires squaling and feel the back of my truck moving left and right and then I saw the deer hit. I stared screaming and didnt really know what I should do. I saw a driveway about a foot or 2 away and decided I should park and get off the road. I sat there stunned screaming and the first instinct was to call someone. I couldnt remember how to use the phone. I just kept pressing buttons and somehow saw the name of Lyle's job and called. I was screaming and crying and he kept telling me to calm down..I was hysterical. I couldnt just calm down. I then remembered my truck and the deer. I looked back out on the road and saw it trying to get up. I saw the car that was on my tail pull in behind me. The others went on like nothing (they could've helped grrr). I finally went to the front of my truck and miraculously there was no damage[I checked my truck today and it looks like the deer stayed on the passengers side underneath and just slid the whole way like the woman behind me said she saw]. Lyle had to go so I called 911 (according to my phone it was 600 by then. They hooked me up with the police and after I told them the location (there was a church right down the road). The car that was behind me turned out to be a woman I think that was in her late 30s early 40s. We were talking and she was trying to help keep me calm. Then there were cars. We had to watch as people kept hitting the deer. It was so horrible the sounds and watching it be moved back and forth. We kept screaming for everyone to stop, but there was nothing we could do. Some guy came walking down the road. He said when he run over it knocked his stickshift out of gear. We all waited untill finally the cop came. Eventually we ended up in the church parkinglot and talked about what happened and the details. The woman gave me her # and address cause I thought if it damaged my truck I might need a witness for the insurance co. She then told me that I did everything right in the way I reacted. I was proud of myself because I could've easily slammed on my brakes when I saw either doe and caused a pile up. I knew at the time that as much as I love animals a deer was better than getting hit by a car and hurting those people behind me. Once the details were taken care of she left and the cop and I talked. Eventually he had to go. I was so shook up. I sat in the truck and just stared off into space. I started thinking. I was so lucky. I could've slammed on my brakes, run off the road(there were large ditches), been going faster, not been paying attention, it could've even went up onto the truck and came thru the glass. So many many things could've happened. Instead everyone, except the poor deer, is ok. I'm so thankfull...but so confused. I cant let this go...cant figure out why this happened to me. My parents, grandma, aunt and uncle have never hit one. It's so wierd...not only was I the only one to hit a deer...nothing else really happened. I finally left the church parking lot and went 35 the whole way home with my emergency lights on. [My truck seemed ok and I guess it was since it got me home]. I was shaking and so scared another one would pop out in the road. I had no warning except the first one. If it wasnt for that one, who knows what would've happened. I think that God was with me. It just now hit me...this happened at a church...everyone is ok. It's so wierd. Maybe it's a hint I need to go back to church. Maybe there's someother reason this happened. Either way, I cant let this go. I killed an animal. I could've been responsible for a pile up. All because I didnt go home before dark. Lyle just called and wants us to go to the big town about 30 mins away(we go there about once a month)I love going there, but now I am so scared to go outside at night..he's even wanting to make me drive to show me I have nothing to worry about. He doesnt understand why I cant just let this go. I dont understand why it happened...or how I'm gonna be able to drive at night again.