Freaking out vs "this is normal"

Margret said:

Of course this bothers you.  The problem is, what you are doing is her only chance, and as far as I can tell, it really is a chance.  This isn't like it was with my Sweet Thing, where she was clearly terminal from the beginning.  There's a chance that this is from an infection, and if you can kill the infection before it kills Sara, she may recover.  Everything you're doing is designed to keep her alive long enough to make a full recovery.  If it succeeds, Sara will forgive you, because that's what cats do.  She won't understand, any more than cats ever understand about vets, but it won't matter.  What will matter is that she's alive and healthy, and she loves you.

The key phrase in your post was "these days."  You're going through an extremely difficult time right now.  One way or another, it will be over some day, and no matter how it ends you will know that you did your very best for Sara.  The fact that she's still alive to be unnerved by you says that your efforts have been effective so far.  We appreciate you, and the wonderful job you're doing for Sara.  For now, maybe that will have to be enough.

Are you managing to get enough sleep?

Margret

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Thank you, that helps a lot. I'm getting enough sleep going by standards but it doesn't FEEL like enough. I can probably sleep 12 hours and it won't feel like enough. I attribute this in part though to DST, that always kills me. Just is doing a better job of it this time around.

Kittens Mom said:

I think it's sort of normal to feel bad. Thing is it's necessary. It takes not only dedication but love to do this daily. Sometimes several times a day.

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Indeed. And I do love her so much. And the first several years of her life were so rough to begin with. I wanted her to just be able to enjoy her life but it took her so long to get to that point.

Artiemom said:

Oh, I felt that way with Artie, when we began the IBD medicine protocol. I was after him constantly for meds.. some on empty stomachs, some with food, some in between. It was really crazy. 
I felt so bad because he was running away from me and hiding. Even when I wanted to pet him...sigh

It will pass .....Sara will get used to the routine. 

Now we have cut down quite a bit on the meds....I am only bothering Artie 4 times a day...he is really accustomed to it. 
Sometimes, He will fight me with spitting the meds out; but really not bad at all. At least we have a routine.

Evening pill is always a challenge. 

But I have learned to somehow trick him, either by chasing him or cuddling him first. 

I did not mean to get lost in my own story....

I wanted you to understand that we do know how you are feeling....
((hugs))

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We learn from each others' stories and experience, so no worries. It helps to hear people say "I've been there, done that, and it does get better". I went through this very short-term with Lucky. I never knew the trials and tribulations of doing this long-term. And definitely didn't know the constant changes. Increase this, decrease that. Oh, need to decrease this and increase that again. Add this. Etc etc.


I'm seriously amazed by her though. How strong this tiny little kitty really is. Her will and spirit, I mean (although she can be strong physically when she wants to be). And she's just come so far in the last couple of weeks. And sometimes I really need that pointed out to me. It's so easy to get wrapped up in the little things and not see the big picture.

Zed Xyzed said:

Cat obviously don't like to be forced into anything, so it is natural they will hide and be standoffish. But they are very intuitive and smart they know that you are doing this to help and out of love for them. Sarah is not upset with you she just don't care for the routine. She is a very beautiful girl, I love her colours and markings 

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Thank you, she is beautiful. Her picture is on my lock screen on my phone, has been for the better part of three years now. It's my favorite picture of her too, her eyes are just so sparkly there, and she looks happy. She looks like she's aged a lot in the last few weeks, my poor girl. Illness can do that though.


I think today I'm going to try to groom her a bit. It's hard because she doesn't let me do a lot at once, and she just has so much hair that if I do it only when she lets me, it will just get worse and worse. So, we're gonna have to get creative today I think. I also have to do it when my mom isn't in the room. She's actually allergic to cats, but Sara really seems to set off her allergies something fierce.

Looks like Petsmart has Iam's Purrfect Delights on sale today! Guess I'll finally be getting that now. Hopefully Sara likes it as much as the FF.

Can you place Sara in front of a window and try brushing her while she is calmly looking outside?

I had a horrible time getting Artie to adjust to brushing.

I finally got the idea of placing a cat tree in front of a window. It is the right height in order to brush him. I also gave him an extra brush so he could brush his own face...

While not perfect, it does work. I have him asking to be brushed!

You may want to try this with Sara...it could help..and again; only do how much she is comfortable with..

My guy's belly is off limits...but I try...

The problem is my mom is particularly allergic to Sara for some reason (I guess some cats are worse than others). So, I may have to have a groomer's help this first time (kinda like with Maple). I did set up an appt but will play it by ear. If she's not feeling good or I have bad vibes, I'll cancel when the time comes. But, there is an appt for next Sunday at this point.

Of course, this spot in the window that she likes is right by my mom, so mom's kinda miserable right now.

Donutte said:

The problem is my mom is particularly allergic to Sara for some reason (I guess some cats are worse than others). So, I may have to have a groomer's help this first time (kinda like with Maple). I did set up an appt but will play it by ear. If she's not feeling good or I have bad vibes, I'll cancel when the time comes. But, there is an appt for next Sunday at this point.

Of course, this spot in the window that she likes is right by my mom, so mom's kinda miserable right now.

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How bad is the allergy?   We don't want your mom going into anaphylactic shock.

Very fluffy cats tend to be more problematic in terms of allergies.  That fine, long fur collects so much more of the allergen when they groom themselves.  Any cat with fur that gets matted is likely to be a fairly major problem for your mother.  That's how we ended up with Jasmine; her original owner had a granddaughter who developed an allergy, so she had to rehome Jasmine.

Margret

No, she won't go into anaphylactic shock. She will be pretty miserable and have to take a handful of Benadryl a day though if I tried to brush her in the house, especially in the living areas where she's been hanging out. She isn't long-haired but she has a LOT of hair. And she has lots of tufts that get loose and then stuck in the other fur and then just turn into mats.

Donutte said:

Looks like Petsmart has Iam's Purrfect Delights on sale today! Guess I'll finally be getting that now. Hopefully Sara likes it as much as the FF.

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Yes, hopefully this will be well liked as it's much better for her than ANY of the Fancy Feasts, as far as phosphorus goes, and it's higher in calories too.  Keep us posted

I was thinking of going to the store today, but the lazy hit me really hard. Will go to Petsmart tomorrow when I do the other shopping.

I'd upped the Cypro to twice a day the last two days. I think Sara's a bit over-stimulated tonight. Add to that I think 1/4 teaspoon of Miralax twice a day is suddenly a bit too much. Not a good combo! Plus she's got the bloody pee again. Not like it was the last time, but it was noticeable, and she's peeing outside the litter box (she only does that when the bloody happens).

So, gonna skip the Miralax tonight, then just give 1/8 teaspoon twice a day starting tomorrow. And cut back the Cypro to once a day, so won't be giving any tonight. And clean up some messes.

Miss Sara's cystitis flare-up resulted in a couple of ruined pillows and god knows what else got peed on. She found a whole bunch of places to go. There was just a point last night I couldn't keep chasing after all the spots she went in. She'd just find new ones!

It's just all over the place. Feel so bad for Sara, but my goodness.

I still need to medicate her and give her the subqs. Trying to figure out how I can do this without picking her up from underneath, since her bladder area is painful. I may have to pick her up by the scruff, and I HATE doing that. I'm letting her sleep right now though.

poor Sarah

Donutte said:

Miss Sara's cystitis flare-up resulted in a couple of ruined pillows and god knows what else got peed on. She found a whole bunch of places to go. There was just a point last night I couldn't keep chasing after all the spots she went in. She'd just find new ones!

It's just all over the place. Feel so bad for Sara, but my goodness.

I still need to medicate her and give her the subqs. Trying to figure out how I can do this without picking her up from underneath, since her bladder area is painful. I may have to pick her up by the scruff, and I HATE doing that. I'm letting her sleep right now though.

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Try picking Sara up by a combination of the scruff of the neck and her hind legs.  That way you give adequate support without putting any extra pressure on her bladder.

Margret

Managed to get it all done by about 10:15am. She ate a little bit of her food after that but not much.

I'm so darn tired right now. Mentally and physically.

Donutte said:

Managed to get it all done by about 10:15am. She ate a little bit of her food after that but not much.

I'm so darn tired right now. Mentally and physically.

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Yes, of course you are.  It's Sunday, can you get a nap?

Margret

Donutte said:

Managed to get it all done by about 10:15am. She ate a little bit of her food after that but not much.

I'm so darn tired right now. Mentally and physically.

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Time for feet up, bad movie and fall asleep.

Just got back from the store. No time really to nap. I'm not good with naps, I think I'm actually able to nap maybe two or three times a year.

Need to give Sara her pills and subqs later. She's sleeping in my mom's room right now. Thinking I may try to sneak some food in front of her face and see if she eats it.

We both suffered a significant loss.

And then were hit in the face with yet another stressful situation to deal with

You have Sara

I have a court case to make the vet accountable for her actions. BTW her deposition to the SVB was more like a confession of gross negligence than a defense.

And it seems like stress is just never-ending.

I wish I had an answer that gives you that calgon moment.  I have yet to find it.

Hopefully for both of us there is a little peace and quiet in our futures.

I make myself take care of the basics of human upkeep. Eating right. Taking medication. Making a stab at a normal sleep pattern.  I suspect both of us would like to find the off switch in our brain and just sit and drool in a bucket mindlessly for a few hours. Blissfully unaware.

I think there is a high probability we will both have lives again.

At least my body has a its own way of, in no uncertain terms, telling me it's time for meds. Like not being able to formulate a sentence properly without trying to remember how to talk (it's seriously the weirdest feeling in the world too). Sometimes I ignore it, but eventually I get around to it.

Dangit, forgot I need to chop up some pills. Meant to do that before I ate dinner. Ah well. Will do it afterwards.

God the house smells. Have the doors open. I don't know if it really does or if it's my imagination. Maybe a combination of both. Kidney disease makes for dilute and less smelly pee, but I guess if there's enough of it... :/

I suspect both of us would like to find the off switch in our brain and just sit and drool in a bucket mindlessly for a few hours. Blissfully unaware.

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Hit the nail on the head here, I think.

The combination of kidney disease (peeing more) and cystitis (peeing blood and outside the box) is a tad overwhelming. It doesn't quite look like the murder scene our kitchen did years ago when we had a dog with parvo, but still! We have pee pads laid down for the dogs that she is using quite a bit (thankfully), but she STILL goes in other places. My stomach doesn't turn very much but seeing all the bloody pee pads this morning made me quite nauseous. I shouldn't say bloody, they're very pink though, so I know the blood is there.

No wonder this cat is anemic!!!

This week just flew by.

Sara is doing better as far as the cystitis. I can un-hide all the pillows again. She actually got up into the cat tree on Wednesday and was eating some of the dry food, and then ate more of the dry food out on the back porch yesterday! This is something she hasn't done in about four weeks so that's a pretty big deal. And yay, more calories!

She's become a bit reclusive, though. Hiding under the table all the time. Or under a bed. Can't seem to shake her of that.

I need to get some more blood work done on her soon. Money's starting to get tight now though And there's a part of me that worries about rocking the boat by taking her in. I realize that isn't a great way to think with cats, especially one I know that is sick (since values can be awful without any symptoms). I've been trying to keep an eye on her a lot more since we bumped up the methimazole slightly. She's peeing a tiny bit more than she was before, but nothing like a few weeks ago (where she was going through litter like there was no tomorrow). Wouldn't say she's drinking a lot more, like she was a few weeks ago (she was emptying the water bowls then), and she doesn't seem quite as dehydrated as she did a week ago. And she's pooping, eating, etc.

I think the money is starting to worry me at this point. Have officially burned through my bonus. Considering taking out money from my 401k (not just for this) but might wait for the market to appear to be heading for a slump, because we all know it will again. Yeah, I know, need to plan for my future, but need to get through the present at this point.