trying to be quiet while hubby sleeps. I just did the outside feed and it is a beautiful, crisp morning. It is supposed to cool down today with thunderstorms predicted over the Cascades, which means we get to have clouds and rain, as we are right at the base of those mountains.
I was checking email and got the following so thought I would share:
1. Definition of a teenager? God's punishment for enjoying sex.
2. Transvestite: A guy who likes to eat, drink and be Mary!
3. The difference between the Pope and your boss. The Pope only expects
you to kiss his ring.
4. My mind works like lightning. One brilliant flash and it is gone.
5. The only time the world beats a path to your door is if you're in the
6. I hate sex in the movies. Tried it once, the seat folded up, the drink
spilled and that ice, well it really chilled her mood.
7. It used to be only death and taxes were inevitable. Now, of course,
there's shipping and handling, too.
8. A husband is someone who after taking the trash out, gives the impression
he just cleaned the whole house.
9. My next house will have no kitchen---just vending machines and a large
10. The only thing wrong with a beautiful drive to work is that you still
up at work.
11. Americans are getting stronger, 50 years ago, you needed a station wagon
to hold $10 worth of groceries, 20 years ago, it took two people to carry
dollars' worth of groceries. Now, a five-year-old can do it.
12. A blonde said, "I was worried that my mechanic might try to rip me off,
was relieved when he told me all I needed was turn-signal fluid."
13. I'm so depressed... My Dr. refused to write me a prescription for
He said it would be like putting a new flagpole on a condemned building.
14. My neighbor was bit by a stray rabid dog. I went to see how he was and
found him writing frantically. I told him rabies could be cured and he
have to worry about a Will. He said, Will!? What will? I'm making a list of
the people I wanna bite."
15. Clinton is in the supermarket picking up some things for the new office
when a stock boy accidentally bumps into him. "Pardon me," the stock boy
says. "Sure," Clinton replies, "but it'll cost you."
16. Jesse Jackson, Jim Bakker, and Jimmy Swaggert have written an impressive
new book ... It's called: "Ministers Do More Than Lay People"
17. When you find you have a headache, do what it says on an aspirin bottle: "Take two aspirin and keep away from children!"