Need to know how to socialize a shy cat

Help!  I have a wonderful potential adopter for my kitten and former feral.  To give you a short update, the feral was in the same trap as the kitten.  The kitten is now sociable and friendly.  The feral was very sick with lung worm for over a month.  He is now much better physically.  He bit me (I had to go to Urgent Care) when I first caught him.  He spent a month at my vet's office, with an experienced vet tech handling him everyday.

He is now at my house (and has been for a little over a month).  He is at the point where he will rub on my legs, and he allows me to brush him.  He will come out of the closet for some feedings.  He does eat in front of me.  However, he spends most of the day in his safe place (his bed in the closet).

I have a great potential adopter who will be unable to meet him until February.  That gives me a little over a month to work with him.  What should I do to get him more socialized??  Should I gently grab him out of the closet?  Take away the option to get in the closet?  He cannot be coaxed out of it--I've tried.  He LOVES to be brushed, but even the sight of the brush won't coax him out of the closet.

I leave the door to his room open--so he has the option to leave the room if he chooses.  However, he has NEVER left the room.  The most he has done is look past the threshold of the room a few times.  

I really want this potential adopter to see a well-adjusted cat..not a cat that hides in a closet all day.  He is a sweetheart that deserves a great home.

Any ideas on what my next steps are?

A feliway diffuser cant hurt, may help.  Having classical relaxing music on may help too.

I presume you are already talking with him a lot?  You sitting calmy down on the floor, or lying on a matterass, reading,  sleeping...

Im wondering if it would pay here with the trick sometimes used on kittens: wrap him up in a soft towel alike a burrito, and you carry him at your chest, crooning making friendly noises siinging soflty if you can, talking sweetly.  He feeling your body warmth and heart beats...  Half an hour, perhaps even a full hour if he isnt wriggling too actively... A couple of such sessions.

Its a little as the american way of "breaking in" a horse, but a thousand times times softer and more friendly.

Is there anything which may make him nervous, and be the cause he is so very vary?

Its a pity he was at the vet office when he was sick and was treated.  Being severly sick, and getting helped, is a big window opener, making the socialization much quicker - almost as with kittens - but here its prob the vet tech whom got the confidence, not you....   So you must do the work again anew...

nsav8 said:

 
Help!  I have a wonderful potential adopter for my kitten and former feral.  To give you a short update, the feral was in the same trap as the kitten.  The kitten is now sociable and friendly.  The feral was very sick with lung worm for over a month.  He is now much better physically.  He bit me (I had to go to Urgent Care) when I first caught him.  He spent a month at my vet's office, with an experienced vet tech handling him everyday.

He is now at my house (and has been for a little over a month).  He is at the point where he will rub on my legs, and he allows me to brush him.  He will come out of the closet for some feedings.  He does eat in front of me.  However, he spends most of the day in his safe place (his bed in the closet).

I have a great potential adopter who will be unable to meet him until February.  That gives me a little over a month to work with him.  What should I do to get him more socialized??  Should I gently grab him out of the closet?  Take away the option to get in the closet?  He cannot be coaxed out of it--I've tried.  He LOVES to be brushed, but even the sight of the brush won't coax him out of the closet.

I leave the door to his room open--so he has the option to leave the room if he chooses.  However, he has NEVER left the room.  The most he has done is look past the threshold of the room a few times.  

I really want this potential adopter to see a well-adjusted cat..not a cat that hides in a closet all day.  He is a sweetheart that deserves a great home.

Any ideas on what my next steps are?

Click to expand...

It sounds to me like he's going to need a bit of pushing for him to make some progress. He needs to be pushed towards a new "challenge line." I would recommend moving his bed to the other side of the closet door and closing the door. Maybe face the bed towards the wall for the first day or two as well. He's becoming too attached to the closet and I believe that, while yes, cats domesticate themselves, humans are the ones to provide the incentive. He's too comfortable and has no reason to feel safe in the rest of the house because he already has a safety zone.

I would also bring him into other parts of the house for short periods of time and increase the period of time he stays in the new area of the house gradually. If you have other cats or there is high traffic from other people, put the other animals in another room and pick a time with low traffic so he can acclimate to the environment and learn to cope with it first, without other perceived dangers. Then gradually bring out the other animals if he's used to them and knows them.

I had a very shy cat who was once feral that hid under the toilet. I eventually blocked it off with boxes so she could hide a bit, but was still accessible. In the living room, I blocked off access to under the couch and chair.  I introduced her to the living room with my other kitten locked up. It allowed her to explore and get the lay of the land without an already comfortable-with-his-environment kitten tackling her.

With my current foster, I also blocked off under the toilet. He still has a place to hide, but is more accessible if I need him to be.

This is a great video: 
(He talks about gradually blocking off hiding places, but I don't really see the point of this. If there is a block halfway under the bed, he still has access to the other half of the under bed. Still a hiding place regardless.)

It's always best in the end to take advice with a grain of salt and adapt them to fit the needs of your particular cat.

For example, it's recommended to play a radio in the room of a newly acquired feral kitten to get them acclimated to human voices. My current foster was so stressed out and not eating much, that I've been giving him breaks from the radio to decrease his stress. Ultimately, you know your cat best and will figure out a regimne best for him.  

Also, I know how you feel about wanting the potential adopter to see a well adjusted cat. Believe me, I do. I've had potential adopters run away scared when I've told them some of the issues I've had with previous fosters.

Best thing to do is to play up his good qualities and when addressing the negative ones, offer suggestions on how to help the cat overcome those feelings. But do express your concerns with the cat. The adopter should be fully informed about a cat's issues. My last kitten, when I told them she ran away when approached and told hem the work I was actually doing with her, they ran away scared. In all honesty, GOOD! Most people who want a kitten want them to be well-adjusted, sweet, cuddly. No one wants the work. (Can't blame them really.) If after hearing how she really is, if they don't want to put in the work with her, then they aren't the right people for her and I wouldn't want to subject her to adopters who aren't prepared to handle that. So, in short, don't be afraid if these people decide they don't want your cat's baggage. If they can't accept the baggage, they can't accept him, and are not a good fit by any means. The right person will come along. (My kitten ended up going to someone who had experience with feral barn cats all her life, and thought it was so endearing when she tried to hide between her and the couch cushion. Something that turned off another adopter.)

Ok, thank you everyone.  I was not sure if I could take away his safe space...but I think it needs to be done.  I think Jahzara's point that he is "attached to the closet" is spot on.  He needs a push.  For example, I thought he was maybe sick today.  I was home ALL day, and tried to coax him out of the closet with his favorite toy, food, and brush.  He wanted nothing of it.  Turns out, at about 7 pm, he decides to come out of the closet, and wants to be brushed.  I guess he wasn't sick after all!  He played with me for about half an hour...then I brushed him for another 10 minutes.

So, I guess he needs a push.  

One more question...I am worried that with the progress I am making with him, he is going to only be bonded to me.  Will he be able to bond with an adopter?  I usually foster dogs, and I know dogs can adjust.  But cats are like aliens to me, lol.  I don't know what I would have done without this forum!

You can gradually introduce him to other people. Friends or family. If necessary, sit and have a coffee with them in the closet (or in front of it) so he gets used to different people. Our feral babies are always scared of strangers, because we don´t have guests often. But so far all adjusted just fine once they were adopted. Some needed a few weeks, others only a few days.

I am just wondering, how is he doing when you sit in the closet with him and pet him, does he like that? Can you pick him up and carry him?

nsav8 said:

 
Help!  I have a wonderful potential adopter for my kitten and former feral.  To give you a short update, the feral was in the same trap as the kitten.  The kitten is now sociable and friendly.  The feral was very sick with lung worm for over a month.  He is now much better physically.  He bit me (I had to go to Urgent Care) when I first caught him.  He spent a month at my vet's office, with an experienced vet tech handling him everyday.

He is now at my house (and has been for a little over a month).  He is at the point where he will rub on my legs, and he allows me to brush him.  He will come out of the closet for some feedings.  He does eat in front of me.  However, he spends most of the day in his safe place (his bed in the closet).

I have a great potential adopter who will be unable to meet him until February.  That gives me a little over a month to work with him.  What should I do to get him more socialized??  Should I gently grab him out of the closet?  Take away the option to get in the closet?  He cannot be coaxed out of it--I've tried.  He LOVES to be brushed, but even the sight of the brush won't coax him out of the closet.

I leave the door to his room open--so he has the option to leave the room if he chooses.  However, he has NEVER left the room.  The most he has done is look past the threshold of the room a few times.  

I really want this potential adopter to see a well-adjusted cat..not a cat that hides in a closet all day.  He is a sweetheart that deserves a great home.

Any ideas on what my next steps are?

Click to expand...

nsav8 said:

 
Ok, thank you everyone.  I was not sure if I could take away his safe space...but I think it needs to be done.  I think Jahzara's point that he is "attached to the closet" is spot on.  He needs a push.  For example, I thought he was maybe sick today.  I was home ALL day, and tried to coax him out of the closet with his favorite toy, food, and brush.  He wanted nothing of it.  Turns out, at about 7 pm, he decides to come out of the closet, and wants to be brushed.  I guess he wasn't sick after all!  He played with me for about half an hour...then I brushed him for another 10 minutes.

So, I guess he needs a push.  

One more question...I am worried that with the progress I am making with him, he is going to only be bonded to me.  Will he be able to bond with an adopter?  I usually foster dogs, and I know dogs can adjust.  But cats are like aliens to me, lol.  I don't know what I would have done without this forum!

Click to expand...

Yeah, the bonding and socailisation is in first hand with you.   The adopter will need to do quite some socialisation for herself too.  although it will go easier for her, as the gate had already been opened.

So when fostering, its smart to att at have least another person or two wisiting, giving food and treats, so the cat knows  there are more friendly persons in the world.

You wont  do this tomorrow, but perhaps in two weeks.

Hi,

I am new here. But maybe I can suggest you give your feral his "own place". I find a "cat tree" or 4 drawer filing cabinet near a window or a "scratcher" ,(the round one with a "cave"..)

I always use "my scent" on both cats. Then they smell the same - not strange to each other. It can be a very tiny bit of perfume or scented hand lotion. Pet them both and see if that helps.

I always pet the mom before I pet puppies or kittens, then the babies do not have that "human stink" all over them.

My cat Ashes, is a CAVE KITTY!  Try several Caves in the living room - or where ever you want this guy. They can be cardboard boxes with towels over the front.  By a window, under a desk. Bring him out at night and let him explore on his schedule, the night shift. Make sure the TV is quiet and anyone is sitting still, but whoever lives there is present.  He already knows everyone by smell.  The  only way he will come out and stay out - is to shut the door to that room.  Try to brush him or sit on the floor while he eats, if he will.  If he FLIPS OUT and will NOT calm down or go in a cave, then let him back in his room. Repeat, Repeat, Repeat!  He will not "Socialize", if you leave him ALONE.

Some cats must be forced to socialize in the rest of the house - soon they find it is the SAME FRIEND - DIFFERENT ROOM. Nothing terrifying.

I hope this helps you tame and gentle him, to find him a good home. After about 50 cats and a routine like this, I know how you feel. 

It is sad when Ferals  don't understand, you just want to LOVE THEM!

My Ashes has turned into a "lap cat" and demands play time.

Good Luck!

Cindy

Okay, thank you everyone.  To answer some of your questions:

He does  have a cat tree in front of a big window...but the cat tree is in his safe room.

I am closing his door at night, and leaving it open during the day.  Maybe I should reverse that?  Or leave it open all the time.  I'm pretty certain he has never ventured out of his safe room.

Thanks

Where are his food bowls at? I would go ahead and leave the door open all the time. As Sneakyblonde said, cats are more active at night, and with things quiet, those two mixed together might just be enough for him to venture out and explore a bit.

I would move the food bowls to next to the open door for a few days and then move them to the other side of the door.

Okay, I will try that Jahzara.  That is what Jackson Galaxy said in the video you told me about.  I just don't want to stress him out too much.

Hi,

My cat was shy again after our move 18 months ago. He is a " CAVE KITTY".

I knew he was venturing out of his comfort zone during the night.  (Cats are nocturnal). I have some camp gear in the top of the "closet".  I have "cubby holes", not a traditional closet with doors.

About 4 am, I about had a heart attack!  Ashes knocked down my camp coffee pot and a few other things from about 8 feet up!  It sounded like a 25 car pile up on the L.A. Freeway!!  I just laughed! Ashes was exploring "Strange Stuff" and " NEW TERRITORY", on HIS OWN TERMS and looking for a cave!

So with that in mind, I would NOT close the door to his space EVER.  I believe he will come out at night if he has the opportunity.

One way you  find out IF he is coming out, is sprinkle CORN STARCH in front of the door.  If you see paw prints in it -Yes, he is coming out.  Only on HIS terms and on HIS TIME to explore more of his surroundings. The corn starch is harmless and easy to vacuum up.  But you will know if there is any traffic.in or out.

I would try to get him out of that room.  (When my pets pay the mortgage or rent, then they can run the house!  My K9 would allow kids to pet, pull the tail or ears and NEVER SNAP! I socialized and conditioned them while they were pups.  Too many people say,  "You can't go in the kitchen , the dog is eating".  Or your toddler wanders in and the dog attacks the baby! Not In My House)

If the risk of losing sleep makes you keep the door closed , then you keep it closed.  Otherwise, let your guy explore.  And he will, cats are curious and sooner or later he will venture out. The Corn Starch will give him away and you will have  PROOF.  So you are not unsure, because you are sleeping and are not watching him.

If you will not trip over a cat cox in the hall, or what ever is outside that door - move the cat box out into the hall with the door open at night.

You said you want him ready to rehome in a month. So if there is NO sign of him ever leaving that room in a few nights, you may have to drag him out of "his room", shut the door and force him to explore other surroundings.  Move the cat tree out to another  room with a  window if that is possible.  It is HIS and it smells like him, as does HIS cat box. If he sleeps on towels or blanket move those out also. HIS STUFF in another room will make him feel more secure, and give him a former "safe place"  SMELL to run to.  It will give him his "stuff" and be calming to him.  New smells with old smells will help him adjust faster. A cat's sense of smell is much better than ours and he will find his security blankets  - in the other room. Cats need their own "real estate", a place that is familiar and theirs..

Dogs are not so particular.  It like  "cool, I'll just go shed over here.")  When I traveled with my K-9, I always took a small rug that was used at home.  I told her, "get on your bed", any where we were. It was home to her with THAT bed.

I hope all of this, or some of this, helps you.  Also, I usually send some "dirty" cat sand from the old cat box for the NEW cat box, (just a small zip bag is enough), and a blanket, stuffed toy or some bedding, if I can.  It helps them know it is theirs and nothing too new.  Animals adjust to new surroundings faster. After all - it smells the same, just like them, so it must be home. If you can get something from the "new" place and bring it into his surroundings - the "new place" will smell familiar.

I wish you all the best.  I know you are facing a difficult challenge with a 1 month deadline.

Cindy

P.S. Ashes, the wonder cat, did find a cave. I am not supposed to know where it is, but I do and I leave it alone. Now that cold weather is here, he spends most nights under the covers with me.  It is nice not to have him crashing things around in the night.  Ashes is a Silver Tabby, he has a very, very short coat and gets cold easy, so he wants to cuddle now. Or lay on the back of my chair or the arm in summer. He also has some vision problems from malnutrition. He is only two and a half years old, and his problems continue to improve. He was abused, with all his whiskers cut off, and who knows what else...  I knew he would be "difficult". That is why I chose him. Someone else may have dropped him on one of life's many highways, because he was NOT the most loving and gentle kitten that most families want.

(I guess if I had a quote, it would be; " Everyone wants to SAVE the Feral Cats - But no one wants to ADOPT them." (I have been severely attacked by a cat I raised. I will carry the scars for life, but I have not stopped adopting, fostering and finding them homes. Because I will carry that love for life.) 

Hi,

I am sooo sorry, I did not get back to you before now!  I hope you, and yours, had a Happy Holiday.  And a Healthy, Happy and Safe New Year ahead!

(And the broken bone of the month is - my elbow!  I have had so many broken bones these past few years. I try not to let them slow me down but they do. I WALKED into the doctor's office on June 3rd, with FOUR broken pelvic bones on the right side. Last June, (2014), it was a broken shoulder. His nurse, Martha, sees me and asks, "What is it THIS TIME? Then she goes and gets a sling or splint. The pelvic bones threw her...  She said, "There are no casts for your  A**!  And no cement chonies!" ( spelling? Spanish for underwear. Martha is Mexican.)

I wanted you to know that you are still in my thoughts and I am wondering and hoping something has changed for the best. Finding homes for Feral cats IS a challenge. Most people want those cute, curl up in your lap, purring  kittens.  Many people are not prepared for a Feral and their skittish behavior.

How are things going with your shy guy?  Did you try leaving his door open all night, and sprinkle the Corn Starch as I suggested?

I hope you are going to tell me, "Yes!  There were kitty paw prints all over the house".  That he explored in the night and found out there were no "monster things" lurking about.

I know you are on a very tight schedule to socialize him for another family. I just wanted to check in with you and see IF there has been any progress at all.

The adopting family may just have to accept that it will take time and a lot of love. Even if he is socialized in YOUR house, he may regress when moved to a different household and hide under the bed or in a closet.

I am sure you know to tell the adopting family to keep him on the same food he is on now, and if they want to change his food - to do it very gradually. A bowel upset will not help him with feeling social.

If you have time, get back to me with an update. Depending what is, or is not happening - I might be able to come up with another idea or two. Some times my memory needs to be "kick started like an old Harley". ha! ha!

I want you to know I am thinking about you, and you are not alone with your problems.  I am sure there is a  lot of love and prayers out here and people that will try to give you helpful advice. Feral cats and  the people that love and care for them usually have years of experience.  It is like an addiction. So I hope you get a "magic answer" to help you.

Later,

Cindy