Hazel, my 11-year old smarty pants kitty who had the most beautiful musical vocalizations, had to be put to sleep yesterday. Someone on TCS kindly suggested I write a tribute to her here.
I adopted Hazel when she was only a few weeks old from a woman whose cat had escaped and mated with the neighborhood feral cat(s). I heard about the kittens through a friend and was originally only supposed to adopt one kitten, her brother Phantom. I found out Hazel was going to a family who I knew owned aggressive dogs. I ended up begging to keep both her and Phantom (the family unfortunately adopted a kitten from elsewhere that was ultimately ripped to pieces by the dogs). Hazel and Phantom weren't even fully weaned when I adopted them, and we formed a close bond.
Hazel was slightly bow-legged from a birth defect, and I called her my little bulldog. She was an excellent huntress of the elusive laser light and no flying insect could escape her! As a kitten, her favorite place to nap was the dustpan. Yet, somehow her paws were always the cleanest. She had the softest fur, especially her little white t-shirt and socks.
My wife and I have made making up songs for our kitties (sometimes accompanied by a ukulele) part of our cat mom duties. Hazel is the only one who seemed to appreciate them. [emoji]128521[/emoji]
She always learned quickly and could be very sweet, but she needed extra love and care from a young age when she started developing anxiety and aggression issues. She also pretty much chose my wife for me. My wife is the only other person Hazel learned to trust, so I knew my wife was good people and a keeper!
Hazel has been there with me through so much. She has been there to comfort me and remind me to focus on caring for someone outside of myself in moments when I felt despair. I did everything within my power to care for her and give her the best life I could, but she also helped give me a better life by making me look beyond my own needs and feelings to remember the world outside of myself and to help me be calm for her sake when I didn't feel like being calm for mine. I loved my little Hazel bean so very much and am just so heartbroken I had to lose her like this.
It's been an agonizing week. Hazel's aggression issues had been escalating for some time despite trying many different treatments, and Hazel no longer had a good quality of life.
She continued to be on high alert most of the week, and it wrenched my heart to know she was probably going to be put to sleep and I couldn't even spend much time with her in her final days. I could only stay with her for short blips because she would get too agitated. I just haven't been able to stop crying. But, on the last day before she was put to sleep, it was like she gave me a small gift because she had a moment again where she was able to cuddle with me for a small moment.
After struggling for so many years to make it work and help her feel more comfortable, it's really hard to let go. I hope we did the right thing, and I hope it was the best thing for her so that she's not so distressed now or possibly in pain. I am going to miss her so much.
Thank you for listening and thank you to everyone on here who tried to help me come up with last ditch effort ideas, who helped me with research, and who were wonderfully supportive. I'm just a newbie on here, but this is a truly special community of folks.
[emoji]128575[/emoji]
My Hazel:
I adopted Hazel when she was only a few weeks old from a woman whose cat had escaped and mated with the neighborhood feral cat(s). I heard about the kittens through a friend and was originally only supposed to adopt one kitten, her brother Phantom. I found out Hazel was going to a family who I knew owned aggressive dogs. I ended up begging to keep both her and Phantom (the family unfortunately adopted a kitten from elsewhere that was ultimately ripped to pieces by the dogs). Hazel and Phantom weren't even fully weaned when I adopted them, and we formed a close bond.
Hazel was slightly bow-legged from a birth defect, and I called her my little bulldog. She was an excellent huntress of the elusive laser light and no flying insect could escape her! As a kitten, her favorite place to nap was the dustpan. Yet, somehow her paws were always the cleanest. She had the softest fur, especially her little white t-shirt and socks.
My wife and I have made making up songs for our kitties (sometimes accompanied by a ukulele) part of our cat mom duties. Hazel is the only one who seemed to appreciate them. [emoji]128521[/emoji]
She always learned quickly and could be very sweet, but she needed extra love and care from a young age when she started developing anxiety and aggression issues. She also pretty much chose my wife for me. My wife is the only other person Hazel learned to trust, so I knew my wife was good people and a keeper!
Hazel has been there with me through so much. She has been there to comfort me and remind me to focus on caring for someone outside of myself in moments when I felt despair. I did everything within my power to care for her and give her the best life I could, but she also helped give me a better life by making me look beyond my own needs and feelings to remember the world outside of myself and to help me be calm for her sake when I didn't feel like being calm for mine. I loved my little Hazel bean so very much and am just so heartbroken I had to lose her like this.
It's been an agonizing week. Hazel's aggression issues had been escalating for some time despite trying many different treatments, and Hazel no longer had a good quality of life.
She continued to be on high alert most of the week, and it wrenched my heart to know she was probably going to be put to sleep and I couldn't even spend much time with her in her final days. I could only stay with her for short blips because she would get too agitated. I just haven't been able to stop crying. But, on the last day before she was put to sleep, it was like she gave me a small gift because she had a moment again where she was able to cuddle with me for a small moment.
After struggling for so many years to make it work and help her feel more comfortable, it's really hard to let go. I hope we did the right thing, and I hope it was the best thing for her so that she's not so distressed now or possibly in pain. I am going to miss her so much.
Thank you for listening and thank you to everyone on here who tried to help me come up with last ditch effort ideas, who helped me with research, and who were wonderfully supportive. I'm just a newbie on here, but this is a truly special community of folks.
[emoji]128575[/emoji]
My Hazel:
