Sad story

My mom let me pick out a kitten from the animal shelter when I was in kindergarten. my sister picked one out when she started kindergarten as well 3 years later. The cats grew up and mine knew I was her owner and my sisters knew she was hers. My cat slept with me each night and her cat slept with her each night.

Fast forward to when my cat is about 20 years old. We are grown up now and I moved away. My sister was living in the dorms at her college 6 hrs away. My mom decided she wanted to sell the house. She gets an apartment. She decides that she can't keep 2 cats. I was trying to figure out a way to transport my cat to my new state where I was living. Well I guess I took too long because my mom decided to give her to the animal shelter at 20 yrs old.

I called to see if she was adopted and of course she wasn't, they euthanized her the next day due to her age. So my cat got a death sentence while my sisters cat got to stay.

I don't hold a grudge against my mom, she truly didn't know the way animal shelters work, she thought she would get adopted. Also I never told my mom this happened and she didn't tell me she had dropped her off there until a week later.

This all happened about 2 years ago and I still feel guilty to this day. I had that cat for 20 years and for her to expierence the horror of being dropped off into a metal cage and then being put to sleep by strangers with no one to comfort her is heart wrenching to me. She was probably getting close to her time to pass but I wish I could've been there instead of someone just dropping her off. She was probably so confused and scared. I will never abandon my animals in their old age.

I hope if she really is in cat heaven that she could forgive me.

Rest in peace to my cat Sabrina

This really is a sad story. You did nothing wrong, though. You gave Sabrina all the love in the world and she knew it. I know you can't help but think of her last day but this will only compound your grief. At least she was only there overnight- small mercies. You are very understanding about your mother but I do have to wonder why she didn't call you first and tell her of her plans.

Recently someone turned me onto a trick to distract oneself from dwelling on painful memories and that is parrot videos on YouTube. They are hilarious and can break the cycle of feeling guilty. Of course you must grieve in your own way - this was a terrible loss and you miss your dear Sabrina very much. My suggestion is only if you need to get away from feeling guilty, which you do not deserve to feel.

Oh, such a sad story! Tears was streaming down my face as I read your post. Your poor kitty. It is not your fault, though. You loved your kitty and she knew that. You gave her 20 years in a loving home, feeling safe and secure. 20 years is an amazing life! Try to remember the happy times with your precious kitty and not dwell too much on her ending. I am sure she forgives you and does not blame you for anything. She is in kitty heaven, watching over you and still loving you.
RIP Precious Sabrina!
You were so loved and will always be missed!

Guilt is a horrible thing to try to live with, and I empathize with you in your pain. It does help to release a little of that pain by sharing your suffering with others who understand. There is absolutely no way to change what already has been done, but you have to realize that it was beyond your control, and you had nothing to do with this tragic  situation. I truly don't know what your mother was thinking, a 20 year old cat could never have adjusted to a new lifestyle, and I fear for the cat left in her care. Have a plan ready and make sure your mom knows to contact someone before she does anything again, we must all learn from the mistakes we make in this life or they will be repeated.

Your cat in no way holds this against you, she loved you unconditionally and I'm sure she felt your love and it comforted her at the end. I know it's almost impossible, but try not to dwell on the end, but to let your precious memories of happier times comfort you. Your sweet baby would never want you to be so sad when you remember her, that bond you had will always be with you. She had 20 years of your love, that is a wonderful accomplishment in a cat life, and a tribute to the care she had received. I cry for your pain, a broken heart takes a long time to heal. That same heart holds your sweet girl now, so try not to let it be a dark, painful place, but fill it with happiness and sunshine,  as she would want for you. Her earthly body released her 'essence' that was truly her, to soar with the wind. She is always near and will never leave you. Please accept my sincere condolences, my thoughts and prayers will be there for you and your beautiful Sabrina. RIP sweet Sabrina, you will never be forgotten and will always be held in a loving heart!

                                                                                                                                                     

I feel bad for you, I feel bad for your cat... and I am going to be honest:  If I were in your shoes -- and I hate to say this -- I would probably never talk to my mom again.  I'm not saying you should feel as I do, but it was her responsibility to ask questions, gain information, ensure that she KNEW what would happen rather than ASSUME what would happen, and to damn well inform you what she was about to do before she did it.  She could have waited long enough to tell you but she chose not to do so.  You are not at fault but that has nothing to do with how your mother behaved.  Apologies for being forthright but I take responsibility very seriously, especially when it involves the life and well-being (physical or emotional) of someone else.

I completely empathize with your feelings of guilt. I just had to put my own kitty to sleep for heartbreaking reasons. But this is not your fault, and I'm sure your kitty felt loved for those wonderfully long 20 years. Take some solace in the fact that one night isn't much different than if she had to spend overnight at a vet hospital for a treatment. She may have been confused, but I'm sure she still knew you loved her. Take heart.

hellothere1234 said:

My mom let me pick out a kitten from the animal shelter when I was in kindergarten. my sister picked one out when she started kindergarten as well 3 years later. The cats grew up and mine knew I was her owner and my sisters knew she was hers. My cat slept with me each night and her cat slept with her each night.

Fast forward to when my cat is about 20 years old. We are grown up now and I moved away. My sister was living in the dorms at her college 6 hrs away. My mom decided she wanted to sell the house. She gets an apartment. She decides that she can't keep 2 cats. I was trying to figure out a way to transport my cat to my new state where I was living. Well I guess I took too long because my mom decided to give her to the animal shelter at 20 yrs old.

I called to see if she was adopted and of course she wasn't, they euthanized her the next day due to her age. So my cat got a death sentence while my sisters cat got to stay.

I don't hold a grudge against my mom, she truly didn't know the way animal shelters work, she thought she would get adopted. Also I never told my mom this happened and she didn't tell me she had dropped her off there until a week later.

This all happened about 2 years ago and I still feel guilty to this day. I had that cat for 20 years and for her to expierence the horror of being dropped off into a metal cage and then being put to sleep by strangers with no one to comfort her is heart wrenching to me. She was probably getting close to her time to pass but I wish I could've been there instead of someone just dropping her off. She was probably so confused and scared. I will never abandon my animals in their old age.

I hope if she really is in cat heaven that she could forgive me.

Rest in peace to my cat Sabrina

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This is truly a sad story and I am so very sorry for the loss of your sweet Sabrina.

Please don't think that she blames you for her passing. She doesn't. Blame and guilt are human emotions. Sabrina still knows how much you loved her and how much she meant to you and she always will. She still loves you just as much as ever and she always will. Someday, when the time is right, she will tell you this herself when you meet again.

I have no doubt whatsoever that she made it to the bridge in record time and had many friends there to greet her and help her get settled. Nothing good will come from you blaming yourself for this. This was something that you had NO control over. Please be kind to yourself. You know in your heart that if there was anything you could have done to prevent this, you would have done it in a second and Sabrina knows it too.

The two of you had a long, wonderful friendship full of love. Hold onto that. The memories of all the great times you had together will last forever. No one can take those from you.

As time goes by, the pain will soften. The memories that used to make you cry will make you smile. She wants you to remember her with love and joy not guilt and sorrrow. You gave her a wonderful life. If only all cats could be so lucky.

Hang in there. It will get better and we are here for you.

RIP Sweet Sabrina

I would be gutted too, you are so kind not to tell your mom what happened. I am sure she would have been very upset too. It is awful how our minds work, you gave her 20 years of love, safety, comfort. Yet we tend to focus on those few awful days and those happy wonderful days are pushed out of our memories. I hope that soon those awful thoughts are replaced by memories of better days. She loved you and doesn't blame you, she knows that you would do anything you could to save her. Dear Sabrina, you are loved and always will be, RIP beautiful girl.

Cats (our pets incl dogs) know more about us than we know about them. This I learnt within a year after my Jethro became my master. Our pet’s love is unconditional.

You mentioned: ‘She was probably so confused and scared.’ Definitely but to her last second of her life you’re on her mind and no one else. Simply because you loved her. Earning the respect and love of our pet is a great honour. There nothing comparable to it. You have earned that love from your dear Sabrina.

RIP Sabrina

In my belief system (religion, if you prefer) there is no doubt that Sabrina is now in the Summerlands, a young cat again, happy, and waiting for you.  Nor is there any doubt that she does not forgive you, simply because, in her mind, there is nothing that needs forgiveness.  Should she forgive you for loving her for 20 years, caring for her, sleeping with her, giving her your hopes and fears and secrets as you whispered to her?  For giving her the best that you had?  No, there is no need for forgiveness, so far as Sabrina is concerned. 

Yes, it is sad.  And it makes me want to cry.  But trust that she balanced a few hours of confusion against 20 years of love, and you came out the winner.

It is a very sad story.  As others have said, you loved her and gave her a wonderful life.  One she wouldn't have ever had without you.  And bless you for not telling your mom.  I know people that believe the same thing: that animals who go to the shelter are always adopted.  I'm so sorry for your loss of Sabrina.  

nurseangel said:

It is a very sad story.  As others have said, you loved her and gave her a wonderful life.  One she wouldn't have ever had without you.  And bless you for not telling your mom.  I know people that believe the same thing: that animals who go to the shelter are always adopted.  I'm so sorry for your loss of Sabrina.  

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My condolences on the loss of your baby.