Need help, our new cat is obsessed with me!

We need some help!
Here is some background info first:
We rescued two kittens brother and sister a year an half ago. They were feral kittens, it took us well over a year to get them to trust us and sleep with us every night.
We then rescued a 14 year old Ocicat who's owners were not taking care of her and they posted they were taking her to the pound if a new home was not found. My wife talked me into getting this new cat.

Day one we had to take her to the vet, she was in bad shape, covered in scabs from the fleas, missing fur, weak from not eating and looked like she was not going to make it. When we got her home she seemed scared and slept on my chest with her arms wrapped around my neck, that would be the last night our other cats slept with us. By day three the new cat was attacking both of the other two cats. Within days she took over the house. We separated them and tried to reintroduce them a few times to no avail. I chased her a few times trying to break up the fights, the new cat would then attack me. We tried the squirt bottle with little to no affect. Our two other cats went into hiding for over a month. The new cat (Willow) latched onto me and started guarding me. She would never leave my side and if one of the other cats came into the room she would attack them.
After a month and a half Willow went into heat! Seriously I'm not making this up. The old owners in 14 years never got her fixed. She went from fighting to well you know. Both of our other cats came out from hiding and would go next to her trying to figure out what is going on. We took Willow in to get fixed. The first few days it seemed the fighting was over and we would go back to a happy house. Guess again! Willow who is now my shadow, follows me around like a dog, guards me, sleeps with me and nonstop Merow until I get home and went back to attacking the other cats. Both the other cats are twice willows size and run for their lives in fear of the attacks.

When I mean latched onto me here is what I'm talking about. Willow follows me everywhere in our house, bathroom for a shower? She sets outside the shower merowing nonstop unti I get out (everyday and night). She has to be either next to me or on me. When I leave she will Merow for hours and not a soft Merow, a loud one. When she hears me come home she will meet me at the garage door merowing and won't stop until I pick her up for hugs and kisses. If I pet one of our other cats and don't wash my hand? Willow will smell my hand like a dog and then go and attack the cat I petted. Willow has to sleep with me and when it gets cold in the room she goes under the covers to sleep in my armpit. We tried to have my wife pet her to try and break this cycle and when I leave the room Willow follows right behind me. Other people come over? Does not affect her. Turn on the vacuum? Willow follows me while I vacuum. If she hears me in the garage? Omg she goes into merowing so loud and will not stop for hours, starts scratching at the door trying to open it. Everyone else in the house tried to get her to stop and give her attention and she is not interested in anyone else.

Both of our other cats run from me and won't let me near them in fear of willow attacks. At least they have come out from hiding.
How do I get Willow to stop attacking?
How do I get Willow from merowing for hours when I'm not home?
How can I get Willow to relax and know I'll be right back?

Thank you in advance for any advise

Phew. Sounds like you need some serious help from an animal behaviorist. Can your vet recommend a good one for you to contact? It sounds like Willow has had a hard life and is now a little mixed up in the head.

How long did you keep her separated from your other two when you brought her home?

And of course I have to ask if you've tried Feliway or Zylkene or another calming agent like that.

It sounds like you might need to start over and reintroduce the cats. Follow Jackson Galaxy's videos. They live completely separately (Willow from the other two) and are fed at the same time, with a gradually decreasing barrier between them. You will also switch their rooms around so they all gain confidence in all areas of the house. You will need litter boxes, food and water bowls for each, etc. This could take weeks or months - go at their pace.

Poor thing does sound so attached to you. Can you try having your wife sit with her and reward her for being without you?

Assuming they are all fixed now?

Hi thank you
We tried the calming collar, did not seem to work.
Right now Willow only seems to chase the other two when they come to close to me. The really bad attacks have seem to stop. Willow still will Merow nonstop while I'm in the shower or right after I leave the house.

Hi thank you,

Yes all the cats are fixed.
From day one we have had separate litter box and food for Willow,
We noticed the other day our male was pooping in willows litter box and not covering it up. My wife advised me tonight that Willow has been doing the same in the other two cats litter box. Not sure what this means.
My wife and I have tried to have her pet Willow and have me leave the room. The moment I leave Willow is right behind me. If we close the door to keep her in the room with my wife Willow goes to the door and starts to Merow nonstop.
The other two cats just stay clear of Willow. Willow has no fear of the two cats and will eat out of their food bowls, walks right up to both cats. She has clearly let them know she is in charge.
This morning after I left Willow was merowing for me and my wife went and got her and made her laydown with her in bed. She stopped merowing and went to sleep. My wife said when she heard the garage door open downstairs Willow ran down stairs merowing for me.

Sinbad was very similar to this when we first adopted him. He could not bear being away from me, and would cry himself hoarse. For the first few months we had him I did not leave the house very  much, because he would completely panic. He is much better now, although he still gets very upset when Tempest climbs into my lap.

One of the things that helped a lot that you might try, is making sure there is always something that smells like you available for Willow to snuggle. For me it's shawls and scarves that I made myself and wear a lot - I make sure there is always at least one in a favored nap spot on every floor. His very favorite bed is one I crocheted for him. Laundry works as well - anything that you've used so it has your scent on it.

Hi thank you,

We are trying that with a shirt. She does not seem to care. She has to be on or next to me.
she has relaxed in the middle of the night if I get up to use the bathroom. If I leave the room she is right behind me. I hope this will pass within a few months.
We looked up her breed online and it says this cat is a dog in cat clothes. She has the characteristics of a dog. She will guard me.

We don't let our cats outside due to coyotes.

Thank you for the help!

Yeah, Sinbad is very much the same. I often call him my little guard cat.

It took him several months before he could go without me for long without panicking. I just went very slowly and patiently.

Also like your kittens, Tempest would not allow me very near her for a long time because he was territorial regarding me. But with patience, she is getting over that as well. So it can be dealt with!

I would like to thank everyone for their advise and help.
The last few days my wife and I worked with Willow as a team and made some great improvements.
My wife was able to stop Willow from fighting by just telling her no a few times.
We took the advise of making Willow stay with my wife while I'm in the room. This morning I woke up to Willow sleeping on my wife! , my wife said she had slept on her most of the night! Of course as soon as I left the room and went downstairs Willow was right behind me!
Baby steps! Their is hope!
I truly believe there are no bad pets, it is the owners who need to be trained how to deal with them.

Thank you again everyone and happy holidays.

I don't mean to sound cold but I just read your post  re Willow at 12:24 am and cracked up laughing so loud I woke my husband!!l Trust me, I have all the empathy and sympathy for you because I am having similar   experience with a 10 wk old domestic I adopted from a very good Houston shelter. She is completely OCD  over me & I am seeking help tomorrow after having her for less than 2 weeks. The first week she was recuperating from spaying, but after she recovered she became totally mine, much to my chagrin, because purpose for adoption  was to be my husband's baby, not mine!! Instead, she ignores him & is disgustingly obsessed with me! At least you GET to take a shower! Many prayers and much luck to you!!

Hi,
Thank you!
Willow is getting better, well at least somewhat better. She is still obsessed with me. At night she gets cold and wakes me up so I can let her under the covers. She then goes to sleep in my armpit area. I have never seen a cat who loves anyone like this cat. We had some good luck with her staying with my wife in bed when I would get up and leave the room in the morning. This was short lived after Willow smelled my hand and found the sent from me petting one of the other cats in the morning. Willow went on a rampage attacking the other cat for two days who now runs when I try to pet or go near him. She is back to being right behind me in the mornings when I leave the room. If your new cat is anything like this I feel your pain. Don't give up! It is not a bad pets, just a owner who has not been trained how to deal with them yet. My wife was laughing saying she knows how your husband feels.
Good luck! And thank you for your post!

luvdatcat said:

I don't mean to sound cold but I just read your post  re Willow at 12:24 am and cracked up laughing so loud I woke my husband!!l Trust me, I have all the empathy and sympathy for you because I am having similar   experience with a 10 wk old domestic I adopted from a very good Houston shelter. She is completely OCD  over me & I am seeking help tomorrow after having her for less than 2 weeks. The first week she was recuperating from spaying, but after she recovered she became totally mine, much to my chagrin, because purpose for adoption  was to be my husband's baby, not mine!! Instead, she ignores him & is disgustingly obsessed with me! At least you GET to take a shower! Many prayers and much luck to you!!

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You have adopted a very young kitten and it's not surprising that she's having separation anxiety. I understand that you're frustrated, but it's concerning to me that you're saying you're disgusted by her attention? She's very young still, and needs help socializing and adjusting. And she's bonding to a person in her new situation. You can't choose who a cat is close to.

Like James said, it's up to the owners to adapt.

Hi,
One way to get your new kitten to go to your husband is have him feed the kitten all the time.

We did this when we got our first two cats. I use to be in charge of feeding the two cats when they were kittens. Right away they paid me all the attention and none to my wife. We decided to have my wife feed the kittens and I would do the littler box. After a short time both kittens paid her most all of their attention and we're now sleeping with her and not me.
Food with most kittens and cats is a major key with who they become attached.
We tried this with Willow, she just attacked the two other cats and took their food. Willow does not care who feeds her. As I write this Willow is between my legs sleeping. I tried to sneak out of the room so she would not hear me and follow me downstairs. Fat chance!

Good luck and don't give up!

Thank you for your time to post. I need to clarify the "disgusting" word I chose because I am rather embarrassed by what I meant: she wants to KNEAD my boobs  & this is very uncomfortable! From what I have read, she may or may NOT grow out of this and I am very fearful she may NOT grow out of this. I am beginning to wonder if perhaps I have taken on too much at 65 yrs and may need to return her. It breaks my heart as she is so precious, but she might be better off with a "younger" family. Thanks again.

Hi,
Never be embarrassed or worried about being politically correct ! At least not with me.
You are never too old for the love a kitten or cat will give you. Your kitten is missing her mommy and you are now her mommy. She will grow out of this and the bond you too will have is one of mother and child. Please don't give up on her.
With our new member Willow, she is getting much better after I implemented some of the things that I read gear online, I again would like to thank everyone for their suggestions because they truly did help.
I called my wife yesterday and in the background I could hear Willow merowing so dang loud. I asked my wife why is she merowing? She said she is looking for you. How long has she been doing this? All day!!! All day? Yep going on 6 hours nonstop! I said pick her up and give her some love, show here your there for her when I'm not. She said she tried that and it did not work. Well you have two choices, one pick up the cat and let her know your there for her or two deal with her merowing all day. There is no option to get rid of her she is part of the family. When I got home last night Willow was in the room with my wife and not making a sound.

J Harvey, You and your wife should win "Feline parents of the year" or should I say, "Willow should win human owner of the year?" You have the patience of a saint! Poor lil Willow has really had it tough; its no wonder she is so clingy!!! It might be all in my head, but I "feel" Gigi is looking at me, asking, "Are you going to keep me?"  (Like she is reading my thoughts contemplating whether or not to return  her to the luxurious Houston shelter)! So, I think she has really won my heart & I can't bear the thought of parting with her. Please pray for us as we will for Willow and all ya.

If you are uncomfortable with her kneading you can always redirect her or gently push her away. You can set some limits with behaviors you don't like.

PS Regarding Willow: "Cat vs Cat: How to Keep Peace When you have More Than One Cat" by award winning author Pam Johnson-Bennett might help you. I have ordered her other book: "Think Like a Cat"  used h/b for less than $6. includes s/h thru Amazon. Bennett has received top awards thru Cat Fancier, etc,  PLUS top awards re cat  training behavior. Perhaps it would be worth a try for sweet OCD Willow. I am STILL LOL ! (Please tell your wife to "be very careful what you ask for!") As I am "learning my lessons" ALL TOO WELL! Gigi is just "being a kitten" compared to your challenges. I sure pray that my husband doesn't trip over either/both her, toys as he almost did this morning because he "shuffles" from hammertoes caused by diabetes. The jury is still out regarding keeping Gigi. It has caused me great stress because I feel that SHE also  feels my dilemma.

Thank you. Yes, I am gently pushing Gigi away for a thousand and one times. I have also ordered "Think Like a Cat" as a kitten has not owned me for 15 years. Plse refer  to posts to J Harvey regarding books by Johnson-Bennett.

Hi
Thank you everyone for the stories and help. It is always interesting to hear about others and their stories.
And that you for the complement.
We believe never give up hope!