Gently let go of stray?

Hi guys! I really need advice here.

For the last 4 months we've been living in the Italian countryside, we moved here for work-related reasons and are living in a rented place. There are many stray cats around and over time we've become friendly with one. It started with petting, feeding her leftovers and got to where we let her shelter in our house during a storm. Now she comes and goes in and out as she pleases, is calm, playful and gives no trouble at all. We've stopped feeding her as we found it attracted other more aggressive cats, but she spends a lot of time in our house just sitting around, playing and sleeping, and sheltering when it's cold and rainy. We make it a point to always put her out at night though.

We have to leave this house in january and move back to the city, and though we've fallen in.love with her, we just can't take her with us. One among the many reasons being that she is a free countryside cat and could never manage in our tiny 10th floor city apartment.

Our landlord here hates cats and so she's sort of clandestine. We're worried she may try to keep entering the house after we leave and the landlord may hit her or worse.

How do we gently disengage from her over the next month before we leave, while also not just shutting her out now that winter's here? We do plan to take her to the vet before we leave and give her shots, get her checked and spayed etc. But how can we make her understand that we'll soon be gone and she shouldn't come to this house anymore?

Help help help!

Hi @Sardacat

Welcome to The Cat Site. First of all thank you for taking the trouble to get this girl spayed and vaccinated. Whatever happens, this will make her life a lot easier. As far as discouraging her, this might be a bit more difficult. Cat tend to stay in one place once they've decided it's their territory. As you're not feeding her she must be hunting for herself, which means even if you're not there she won't wander further off to look for food.

Is the fact that she will find it hard to transition from an outdoor cat to an apartment cat the only reason you can't take her with you? All of my cats are ex-feral, it's not impossible for them to become house cats. If you're willing to provide her with a home you could start getting her used to the idea now. (We can give you some tips on how to do that.)

If not, is it possible to find someone else in the area to take her in? There might be someone else in the area who would be willing to provide her with a home and maybe a little food, which would be much better than leaving her to fend for herself. There really is no way to make her understand that you will be leaving, unfortunately. Even with the house empty she'll keep hanging around waiting for you to come back. 

I agree with the above, with one extra; do that spaying asap, dont wait till last moments.  First, to lessen the risk she gets preg, second, to give her lotsa of time to recover.

Even if succesful semiferales usually do hav a good healing meat, high above average (they must, otherwise they perish in a few weeks alone).

But if there is any way for you to adopt her to your city flat, it would be nice.  Ps  Do you have a balcony?  net in it, and it will be splendid.

You would be surprised as to what a cat can get used to. Please consider taking her with you. Best of luck, she sounds like a special kitty 

Thank you all for the insights.

@Norachan  that image of her hanging around the empty house just broke my heart  

One of the biggest reasons that we can't take her with us is that we'll be moving internationally, with all the mess that goes with that. I travel a lot for work and after these four months in Italy I will be moving to a tiny apartment in Bombay, India for perhaps a year. I don't know if I'd be able to give her the care she needs in a place where I myself will be a bit lost to begin with, not to mention the change in weather (I'm guessing it will be waaaaay more hot and humid in India than here in Italy), and the fact that we'd have to move her again when we eventually move. My frequent travelling is the biggest reason I've never had a pet although I love both cats and dogs
 

I do know someone here who has a largish countryside house and a few cats already, and I will ask if they can adopt her. I really hope they will say yes. But are there ideas for anything I can do in case the answer is no?

@StefanZ  thank you, I did not figure in healing time. I will get on the vet appointment ASAP. And @Zed Xyzed  yes she is an awesomely special kitty!

If all else fails I would consider taking her with us simply because we fell in love with her, although it might honestly be more than we can handle, with our constant travel and non-steady lifestyle. I'm not sure that it's even good for her at all.  

But just in case, can anyone please share any advice on moving cats internationally? Would she even manage an 11 hour flight and go from a countryside cold-weather cat to a house cat in a hot city?

As you can see I'm divided in mind and heart over this! My poor Mao, I feel I can neither leave her nor take her! I'm grateful for any advice, thank you.

I think that finding someone close to where she is at now to love her would likely be the best option. Posting in a local paper or just asking around for some one to care for her. If you do end up taking her with you, she might help with the transition to a new country; having her around might actually be a comfort. The fact that you are looking out for her is a very decent and kind thing to do. Let us know what you decide and let us know how the move goes. All the best. 

Hey,

I found this site for you. It's a bunch of Cat Rescues and animal sanctuaries near you. http://friendsofromancats.org/rescuers-we-want-to-meow-about/  Most of them rehome strays, and provide food and shelter to feral cats. 

Can you reach out to one of these groups? You could then move and not have to worry about your stray kitty.

There is actually a thread on here about someone asking for advice for a cat that she is taking on a 15 hour flight, from China to Canada if I remember correctly. So yeah, it can be done, if it comes to that

Should you decided to take her, and there is more than one globe-trotting kitty around, check online for necessary shots for the country you will be taking her to, quarantine time, and begin getting her used to her traveling crate.  Best of luck to you and kitty, whatever your choice...and now might be a good time to name her...

Bless your heart. This kitty has a good owner. Please don't abandon her. She'll miss her mommy. 

It sounds like she's "picked her person", and a good, caring person at that! I'm thrilled your looking at taking her - it won't be super easy - but it's been done by many before with great results! Obviously if you end having to leave her, make SURE someone very nearby will pick up right where you left off (I know that's not easy -so taking her may be easier in the long run! Plus, you she's already bonded with you ) & if she's where you are, you won't worry how she's doing!

As far as help taking her overseas, my dad moved his dog to Shanghai, China, and there they got a second dog, and moved both to Hong Kong for a year, than back to the states----so it can be done!

There are two names with email contacts at the bottom of that page about Italian cats one is Susan Wheeler
([email protected]) and Mary Kennedy ([email protected]). They seem like a good start as a sounding board!

Another place to look is a site called "transitions abroad.com". Two good articles I put the links for each article below.

A website with lots of info is pettravel.com.

http://www.transitionsabroad.com/publications/magazine/0311/moving_pets_overseas.shtml

transitionsabroad.com/tazine/0810/moving-overseas-with-pets

Start checking things out now - so you don't have any last minute surprises!! I SO commend you -many others would turned a blind eye long ago --- but like I said, I think this little furrball chose YOU, and I think she'll be happiest with you , no matter where you go or small your place is. It's YOU she wants

Thank you all for your comments and advice, especially  @kittychick  and @Paiger8 for looking up contacts and links. We've decided to heed those of you who've advised that we try to get her adopted.

After a lot of thought and hunting around we've found a lovely family nearby who will take the cat in and look after her. Their extremely kind-hearted mum did say, however, that a previous stray she took in did not get on very well with her two other cats and ran away. I hope my cat will stay on and we will try to drop in as often as we can to reassure the poor kitty! They have a lovely farm and a big house where she can feel free and explore: fingers crossed!

We have her vet appointment coming up, though I suspect she may already be spayed, since she seems rather old and is very calm and comfortable around the house as compared to the other aggressive stray cats here. We're beginning to think she may be an abandoned kitty and not a real stray, and I hope that will be a factor in helping her adjust to her new home.

She's a super sweet cat and we will miss her, but we hope that this will be the best for her (and our friends swear they will send us a steady stream of cat photos!)

One last thing: I don't think I'll be on this forum again unless another cat walks into our lives (hopefully), but I have to say that you are all awesome people for taking the time to be concerned about a poor stray cat in a far away place! My grandma said one can judge people by how you treat creatures who can do nothing for you in return, and by that standard you all measure up to be sterling people!

P.S. The husband is turning scary with how he cuddles and plays with her....I will entirely hold her responsible if this makes him think about babies!!!

Thanks again

That's great news. I'm so glad you were able to find a home for her.

A couple of years ago I moved house with the 20+ semi-feral cats I care for. It's quite an adventure, but it can be done. The new family will need to keep her confined for at least a month so that she doesn't try to find her way back to her old home. Either keep her indoors, confined to one room or have her in a large crate in a barn or shed. After a month she'll forget about her old home.

It sounds cruel to keep her locked up for so long, I know. When a cat finds herself in new territory she sticks to one tiny area until she feels it's safe to venture out, so providing her with her own room or shed is actually the best way to make her feel secure.

Here are some tips on how to make sure she gets along with the other cats at the new place.

 [article="32680"]How To Successfully Introduce Cats The Ultimate Guide​[/article]  

Good luck. I hope everything goes well with the move and your new job. (and any babies)