New and hi! First time pet owner - am I getting to 'attached' to my cat?

Hi everyone, I've wanted a cat for my entire life, so the moment I finished grad school and could afford it, I finally got myself a kitten. He's a blue bicolor ragdoll, almost 5 months old and adorable! I live with my fiancee and we got him 3 weeks ago. However, I feel like I am getting a little too attached or sensitive to how much he likes or dislikes me? I've seen sooo many pictures of cute cat pictures on the internet and all the cool things they do with them - walking them, hugging, sleeping on their lap, high fiving - etc. I've dreamed about all the wonderful experiences I'd get to do with my cat. 

For example if he sleeps in front of my fiancee's computer instead of mine, I feel like he likes my fiancee better and I get a little bit sad, or if I do that slow blink at him and he doesn't blink back, I feel like he doesn't love me. I know we've only had him for 3 weeks, so we're still 'new' to him, but he doesn't like to be on either of our laps, and he doesn't sleep in the bed with us, and doesn't do any of the head rubbing thing (to us or furniture). I'm reading about all these cat owners who have cats that immediately jump into their laps when they sit down, or they're always sitting/sleeping next to their owners and I just want that from Waffles He likes to be in the same room but not touching us... Will he ever grow into liking to be on people's laps or sleeping on them? Am I just being a little ridiculous about Waffles? I love him to death, and we play with him and he enjoys being petted and he does follow us around, and he plays fetch sometimes! I just really really want him to be ON me (lap, chest, legs, etc). Should I stop feeling 'rejected' every time he does something small like sitting closer to my fiancee, or choosing to sleep in the living room for a night instead of in the bedroom etc.? 

Sorry for the long ramble! I just wanted Waffles for so long and I wish he knew how much I loved him

I certainly don't think Waffles dislikes you at all. Some cats simply aren't lap cats. Waffles is young and, like you say, has only been with you for a short time. He may turn into a lap cat...or not.

Bond with him over things he enjoys...playing with him is the absolute best!

As far as some of the other things like walking them on leashes or teaching them things like giving a hi-five, those things don't happen overnight and don't work for all cats.

One of my 4 yr olds is very food motivated and gets bored easily, so I started teaching him tricks when he was 6 mo old. He now knows: Sit, Shake, Hi-Five, Circle, Down, Jump and we're working on "speaking" on command. Most of my other cats know sit, but that's as far as it gets with them lol!

Ultimately, rather than comparing Waffles to other cats or your relationship with him to others, appreciate him for what he is and simply enjoy him. I think you'll find that your bond will grow.

Hi! Thank you for your reply. Yes of course I do completely enjoy him the way he is, I'm just a very 'huggy' person - I always want to cuddle or hug with my fiancee - and Waffles is just so soft and warm that I want him to snuggle next to me too. I should also add that I work at home so I'm with him alone for like 75% of the time - would he get sick of me seeing me that often that long? As for the head rubbing thing - is that something that kittens have to grow into or does he just not mark his scent?

Welcome and congratulations on being a first time cat owner!

Like people, all cats are different, they have different personalities, different likes and dislikes....just like us!

The calico cat I grew up with never sat on anyone's lap, she was very close to my Mom and slept in her bed. The orange tabby we had for 16+ years never sat on our laps either. He was an indoor/outdoor cat, a great mouse catcher and an all around cool cat but he liked his space and would let you know when he was done with petting time by swiping at you.

Zeus was only 11 weeks when we got him and was sick within 2 weeks so I held him a lot and kept a close eye on him by sleeping in the guest room and on the sofa with him.  

Now that he is 6 months old he spends more time getting into things like knocking down the kitchen garbage, trying to sit on top of our flat screen (I just know he will knock it off the TV stand!), sitting on the dining room table (which is definitely a no no) or drinking out of my cup or glass. He very rarely runs up and sits on me anymore. I think he is just feeling more independent.

Your Waffles is probably just an independent boy and he is adjusting to his new surroundings.

I would give him some time, make sure you feed him, play with him and give him treats. 

 

He is a young kitty and has a tonne of things to figure out. I don't think this is unusual behaviour for a young kitty. I find that as they get a little more mature and settle down that they tend to become more affectionate. But, the truth is that some will be cuddlebugs and some will not. Just be there for him, don't try too hard. It takes a long time for a cat to implicitly trust anyone. They need to feel that you have their best interest at heart. 

Oh and if you keep the house colder, it might help him be a little more cuddly LOL (it works for me) 

Zed Xyzed said:

 
He is a young kitty and has a tonne of things to figure out. I don't think this is unusual behaviour for a young kitty. I find that as they get a little more mature and settle down that they tend to become more affectionate. But, the truth is that some will be cuddlebugs and some will not. Just be there for him, don't try too hard. It takes a long time for a cat to implicitly trust anyone. They need to feel that you have their best interest at heart. 

Oh and if you keep the house colder, it might help him be a little more cuddly LOL (it works for me) 

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My cats' personalities have shined as they got older. Oh, they were playful and loving before, but it especially showed after they got older. That doesn't mean the non-cuddlebugs became cuddlebugs, but they became more social and less skittish, for example. 

We both feed him equally - I tend to refill his bowl in the morning, my fiancee does it at night, and I give him treats a little more often. He only plays fetch with me though

Zed Xyzed said:

 
He is a young kitty and has a tonne of things to figure out. I don't think this is unusual behaviour for a young kitty. I find that as they get a little more mature and settle down that they tend to become more affectionate. But, the truth is that some will be cuddlebugs and some will not. Just be there for him, don't try too hard. It takes a long time for a cat to implicitly trust anyone. They need to feel that you have their best interest at heart. 

Oh and if you keep the house colder, it might help him be a little more cuddly LOL (it works for me) 

Click to expand...

How 'long' does it usually take for a cat to trust someone completely? We do keep our house pretty warm... Not sure if I can tolerate the cold for some cuddles though! He's not THAT warm I think sometimes it's really hard to remember that he's only 5 months old because he's huuuge. When he stretches out, he's like 3ft long - he's going to grow into a big boy.