Kitten Separation Anxiety

I am going to begin with saying that I have had many animals over the years--both cats and dogs. However I have never specifically a kitten before I become an adult. I has barely been a week and I am feeling in over my head. This is my mistake, but I wish to share my story and hopefully get advice on the situation. This is a long story...bear with me.

At the beginning of the year, I moved into a house that already has a cat. Lula is decently affectionate, if not temperamental, and runs the house as all cats do, but I personally don't think she get's much attention from her owner--my roommate. My roommate told me when I first moved in that his other cat, Jenjen had died the previous year and was far more loving and affectionate. And it's obviously from the stories that Jenjen was his favorite and Lula was second fiddle/ Always.

It's also obvious that Lula, who was somewhat skittish when I first moved in, has grown from the only marginally attentive cat than my roommate previously knew...but that she is also lonely, having always lived with another cat up till last year. So we both believed that it was a good idea for her to have another animal in the house. And after some negotiations and my own interest in a pet, we decided that kittens would be best.

And we ended up getting two.

A lady nearby was trying to find homes for an unexpected litter of light gold maine coon kittens that had been made on her farm--long story. They were 7 weeks and 4 days old when we picked them up this past Saturday and freshly weaned days before. The original owner was making sure the litter had good homes because she would be getting surgery and wouldn't be able to oversee the mother and the kittens.  The kittens had their first round of shots. The mother and father were both spayed and neutered this week. Anyways, so we brought the two kittens home--one a boy and one a girl--in the carrier and Lula came down and greeted us...Smelling the carrier and the kittens she simply hissed and fled up the stairs and hid in one of the rooms. So far, this story isn't going so well.

We hold the cats up in a central location, a bathroom for them to tough it out while we were getting them used to the house and the existing cat used to them. We let them explore when either of us were home and they'd be left in the bathroom when we weren't there, if only for their safety. They seem to be litter trained and are eating and drinking so all is going well.

This is where things start going downhill again.

My roommate told me Monday that he'd be taking his kitten--the boy--out of town with him on wednesday. I of course didn't like any of this because the expectation was that they would be together to help socialize them and have comfort while getting used to the house. I tried to show an aversion to this idea and it didn't go over well as he didn't really listen to what I had to say. And when we talked about it later, he didn't seem interested in  changing his mind.

I've had animals before. I know you shouldn't move them around homes often, you shouldn't change their food frequently if you can help it, and you shouldn't take a kitten as young as these and separate them as quickly and for as long as what was going to happen. I expected the worse for wednesday.

The boy is pretty active and outgoing but the girl was shy and hid a lot from both of us. It took till Tuesday to get her comfortable with me, playing in my room. So on Wednesday, I played with both of them for a while till my roommate came home and scooped up the boy. NOT ONLY did he leave...he didn't take much else beside a carrier.

No food, no litter (that I know of) and just drove off. Not even toys.

Yes I was pretty angry and scared for the girl who had only ever followed her brother's lead. I was afraid and given that it is now friday, needless to say...I had every reason to worry. She stopped eating almost entirely. For a bit I thought maybe she's just getting used to not having to fight for it--familiar to new dogs that stop eating as often because food is readily available--but she simply wouldn't eat much. She cried most of the day when I wasn't in the immediate vicinity...and if she wasn't tired enough after a long session of playing, she'd cry some more. I'd pick her up and she's want to be put down. She'd cry to be in my lap and we'd fight with that, as she just wants to chew on my shirt and hair or just jumps back down...I'm afraid to let her sleep with me at night in fear that this seeming compulsion with chewing will lead to her swallowing something while I am asleep.

As of today, these are what I have tried to sooth her:

-Warm bottle and watch in bedding: Works great at night.

-playing with her for hours and letting her run around the house (the other cat hides mostly): works because she's very curious...but chews on the corners of pillows and on cords that I haven't rubbed lemon juice on.

-catnip scratcher: she's mostly  disinterested

-soft toys and a teddy bear her color to deter chewing on furniture and me: it sometimes works but I still have to remove her from things.

-a can of tuna in water: worked when she was starving last night...she stopped chewing on things and slept soundly. She stopped biting my hands. It didn't work this morning.

She's back to not eating again and I suspect the being hungry is why she chews--that or teething. She's eaten her food every day up till the day her brother left. and even a little after. I plan to try kitten formula mixed in with the food. I want this kitten to be happy and healthy...but I also want her to not think that chewing on everything is ok...even past her brother coming back on sunday. He's doing well if you were curious...

I'm also worried about Lula and although time should help...all she does is hiss at them. Hell, I'm starting to believe we might need to find them new homes, because things are chaotic since I am the only one who seems to understand routine and training and also that we just might be alienating the house cat. Hell...from just talking to my roommate I get the suspicion he doesn't care that the cat gets alienated 'cause he wants a cat that "loves" him. Though...he won't see her to a good home and as much as I try to give her attention, she doesn't really want mine. She wants him. I've seen him bet her and play with her for the most part, she always has food and water--even access to the  always dripping kitchen faucet WHICH I DON'T CARE FOR. Lula is still happy to greet us from time to time if the kittens aren't around...but with the increasing scent of them...I don't know how she'll handle them.

Thank you to all that took the time to read this.

She's officially 8 weeks and 2 days...still deciding on a name.

She is very young and suffering separation anxiety. I think you'll see her perk up when her brother returns. In the meantime, is she lapping kitten formula from a dish?

Kittens who are separated from their moms this young will frequently display a need to suckle and chew. All kittens are notorious for getting into things, so you'll need to kitten-proof the areas where she goes.

I think you should allow the resident cat free access to the kittens. It usually does not take long for a resident cat to become friendly with kittens. The cat may hiss, but it is the cat's way of controlling the kitten and establishing who was there first. They really will work it out over time, and likely become good friends. This adult resident cat will be able to help socialize the kittens over time if allowed.

I know it's not easy, but a positive attitude towards a situation over which you do not have complete control might go a long way in easing any tension you may feel about your housemate, his resident cat, and his choices regarding his kitten.

Thank you for taking the time to read my post and thank you for the advice.

In the last 24 hours or so things got better. I just did my best to keep a positive look on things and less focused on my annoyance with my roommate. The kitten is still playing, if not roughly, and still drinks water at the least. After playing around my room and me playing with her for most of the day, she got a whiff of a sandwich I was eating yesterday and I guess she got so hungry she finally ate some of her own food (I made it clear she wouldn't get any of mine). That was a relief. Before the sudden hunger, I tried giving her formula mixed in with her food, to try and keep her at least acclimated to her food and circumvent any future tummy aches, but she wouldn't drink much...even when it was just the milk. 

The house cat has access to them mostly, she just chooses to hide away. One might say, she feels "scandalized" with the sudden appearance of two other animals in the house playing with her master and in "her" rooms. I've heavily pushed that my roommate gives her just as much attention as the kittens, so that she doesn't revert back, but I am still hopeful that she will take the role of mother/elder cat and teach them "manners and boundaries" as I've seen with my animals in the past. At the very least she will have friends around the house, as long as things go well. I've been seeing more and more of Lula over the past few days so things might be getting easier for her. 

The only issues I have now are standard kitten proofing. I bought some bitter spray for my cords and am closing off areas I don't want her in. Unfortunately a few of my cords I can't slide away while they are in use., but she seems to absolutely HATE the bitter spray. She's actually more interested in playing with her toys than my clothes, unless they are soft and then the biting continues. 

You've gotten good advice above and it sounds like you're doing everything right.  Just a thought - is there any way that you could get a second kitten yourself?  That way yours would have a buddy that you did have control over.  It doesn't sound like you will be living with your house mate forever and it could be very stressful to separate them down the road.

Well, the thing is that beyond this bout of spontaneity (read: idiocracy), he and my other roommates (we living in an EXTREMELY large house and the other two roommates stay on the 3rd floor which the cats don't have access to) have been decent people up till recent events. I also really enjoy the location that I live in and won't have the ability to relocate for a while, but best believe that if things continue to be like this, I might be looking for another place of residence among other reasons that are irrelevant here but don't endanger the kittens. My roommate, who owns the cat, was simply out of town for the holiday and will be back later today with the kitten. He doesn't leave town often (this being the third time in the last year I've been here). I doubt he'll do anything as drastic as this in the future and if he does, once the kitten gets a bit older, my mother has a family dog that LOVES animals and some supervised play between the two of them would be a good weekend situation at least and good for some animal socialization beyond the cat in the house. The kitten seems fairly interested in other animals as she met a friends dog and cat and although they didn't get around to playing, they tolerated each other very well--no hissing and mostly just looking and sniffing about as their time together was only a few hours..

I'm not looking to get another kitten as I feel that might be a bit much for me...on top of the other two that will be in the house. I highly doubt that the kittens will be separated much beyond today and even if they are, I've already taken steps to get at least My kitten used to the full grown cat in the house, overseeing meeting sessions a few times in the last few days. Having kittens huddled up in the bathroom for training purposes is great during the day for a few weeks maybe, but you can't keep two animals in a tiny room like that when there is a whole half of the house that the other cat has broad access to. Nor do I really want her hulled up in my bedroom, isolated from other cats that she may smell or hear. The original plan was to have two kittens that keep each other company and get them into less trouble (or more) together and to keep the house cat more active and integrated into the household. If I thought even for a second I'd have to close a cat or a kitten in a single room of this house FOREVER, I would have never agreed to this and instead we've have one possibly traumatized kitten (my roommate was set on his decision to get one) and not two. I still don't know how his kitten is fairing, but from the few texts I got from the owner, he seems fine. How fine, I won't know till later.

Right, but what if your housemate moved out? He would be taking both cats. I am just saying that now would be the easiest time to get her a permanent friend.

Good luck with all!

Thank you for the good luck and I'll see what I can do for her in the meantime however, that particular roommate is the leaseholder so It's more likely that I'll move before he does and ideally when she's much older than a few weeks. He has lived in this house for 15 years. Once more...it's a long weird story.