4-5 month old foster kitten meets my 3 1/2 month old, wants-to-wrestle kitten

Foster kitten:

I just got a foster kitten who was transitioned from another foster home where she was with her sister and two brothers. (They were plateauing in their socialization, so the foster coordinator felt it best to separate them.) They said she is 4 months, but their previous foster mom thinks she is closer to 5, maybe even 6 months. She's social, but scared. She wants to sleenk away whenever people are just going about their business nearby, and will only come out when you sit near her and coax her out. Then she becomes a love bug.

Cobalt: 

My kitten is 3 1/2 months old. I got him at 6 weeks as a foster I got him along with his two brothers. He had coccidia and as a result, didn't play much with his brothers and missed out on the wrestling, bitey stage. 

Today I let the foster kitten out in the living room for the first time since I got her. I let her get acclimated a bit and then let Cobalt out. Cobalt went straight into wrestling mode. She puts up with it - she tries to ignore him. Then she either played or defended herself back a little. Finally, she had enough and started growling. Cobalt got confused, stopped, tried again. Got growled at. I finally pulled him away because I know the environment is new to her, so she probably didn't feel safe playing (although I got her to play with a toy just her and me after I removed Cobalt...) 

I posted about a similar situation with Cobalt & an adult foster cat we were considering adopting. One person said the thought they should just work it out to help set boundaries for them in the relationship. I'm wondering if I should just let them work this out as well. I feel that Cobalt needs to learn boundaries and he'll learn that by having another cat tell him off. On the other hand, I'm worried about how she'll tell him off. Will she scratch him? Bite him? I'm also worried what if it mentally scars him and he starts being afraid of future fosters? 

Also, is this normal for the foster kitten to just kind of ignore him and not really play back? Or is just cause she's in a new environment?

Lots of questions, but I've only ever had a single adult cat before! I've never had kittens, and I've never had two cats. So this is all very new to me!

First of all, thank you for fostering! When did you get her? Sometimes, cats take awhile to warm up to others or it's just instant even if they are kittens.. I'd give it time if you just got her recently and they will probably bond eventually, but not overnight. It's probably because she's in a new environment and hasn't been in a home before. And your kitten is also new to her. Just let her settle in and things will work out.

We'd also love to see pictures!

Thank you I do enjoy fostering. Now if I can just get passed the "I want to adopt them all" stage, I'll be good. haha.

I got my foster on Sunday afternoon. They told me to just leave her be in her environment for 2 days. I kept her in my bathroom till Wednesday when I moved her into a cattery cage I'm borrowing from the shelter. The cage is in the living room. (So she's only been introduced to the living room for a day.)

This is my grey & black tabby named Cobalt


This is my foster, a little tortie. (Her name is Funny Girl, but I think that is a terrible name, so I just call her Sweetie haha.)

Im thinking, letting my thoughs mature.  I will be back!   Its true as was said, if they arent openly hostile, letting them make out themselves is usually working.   But a slow intro and letting the new one land, have also advantages.   I  will think on it.

I think, Cobalt is anyways a classic tabby, or marbled or blotched, evenif the typical bulls eye isnt clearly visible, at least, not from the angle seen on the photo.

I'm going to reply to this asap when I'm back home. In the mean time, any update? Are they still together or did you seperate them again?

Thanks guys.

Funny Girl has been in her cattery cage since last night. After I took Cobalt away, I let her stay out on her own a little longer. 

I'm going to let her out again here soon and let her explore with Cobalt in another room. I'll let Cobalt out after she's been out a bit for a while. 

Your plan sounds good, and they're both beautiful.  You can also keep them separate for a few days, but switch the rooms they are allowed in around.  That way she can develop confidence in all areas of your home before being introduced again.

And if you feed them together or in sight of one another they'll learn to associate each other with good things.  Good luck!

Okay, got slightly delayed, but here's my comment haha.

From what I understand, Cobalt is a kitten of 3.5 montsh that you had since he was 6 weeks. Sweetie (indeed better than Funny Girl) has just joined and has been put in the living room yesterday for the first time, where Cobalt is as well. She is around 5/6 months old.

Cobalt obviously likes her and starts playing with her, she plays for a bit or ignores it untill she suddenly growls at him.

It is indeed a new environment to her. I personally would let her walk around the new room for 15-60 minutes befor putting Cobalt with her. That way she's more accostumed to the room and knows where to go when she wants to get away from Cobalt. However, the way you describe things it doesn't sound bad at all. Kittens do growl when they feel like the other is pushing limits, and it's their way to communicate and say they are pushing it too far. As long as she isn't hurting Cobalt (so as long as you don't see blood) or the other way around, I would keep them together. But make sure it's supervised. I would still seperate them during the night until you are certain it's save for both.

Cats need some time to adjust to a new cat. Cobalt already knows the living room, Sweetie doesn't. For her, it's 2 new things at once and she can be more cranky due to it. Just leave her be as much as you can so she can do it her own way. Most important is that no one gets hurt, and if that's not the case, just let them deal with it. Also, one or 2 slaps is fine too. They will get to know each other eventually and things will settle. I assume this is rathe soon as they are still very young. Cobalt sounds like a good lad, he will respect her soon enough, and she will know she's in a save environment.

If you have any questions, feel free to ask! I think you are doing fine tho

Jahzara said:

 
Thanks guys.

Funny Girl has been in her cattery cage since last night. After I took Cobalt away, I let her stay out on her own a little longer. 

I'm going to let her out again here soon and let her explore with Cobalt in another room. I'll let Cobalt out after she's been out a bit for a while. 

Click to expand...

Yes, such is a good basic plan.  With cats whom are basically friendly its often enough.

Ie make sure both cats feel comfortable with the meeting room.  and also, there is some possibilites to dash too, flee up to, if it would be necessary.  So none feels cornered when the meeting comes.

Thanks guys.

It's still a little touch and go. I started putting them in the cattery cage to eat next to each other, which goes fine. Cobalt respects her space if she's eating or drinking and leaves her be. I put him in bed with her last night for a little while and she started licking and cleaning him. It was really cute. Cobalt went between cleaning her back to play biting. She'd hog tie him and play bite him back, then clean on him. I then removed him cause I didn't want her to feel threatened in her safe cage environment. 

Today after feeding them both in the cage, I let them both out, first Cobalt who I played with a little got work out some energy and then let her out. Cobalt again was wrestling with her which she put up with by trying to ignore and explore. Eventually though she got really irritated and was growling and hissing at him. He usually takes the hint, but he just kept trying to play with her. I took him away and put him in timeout. Is he ever going to grow out of this butthole stage? =/ Do littermates get this aggressive?

This evening went a bit better I think? I let Sweetie out and placed Cobalt in her cage. He slept for a while, then she was showing interest that she wanted to get to him. So I opened the cage and he casually came out. They're fine with each other in all other aspects. Cobalt ate a bit, she watched him, stalked him even. They engaged in play for a while. They each chased each other, ears were perked forward (unless they anticipated a swat or tackle). But later it ensued in her growling and eventually hissing at him. I finally took Cobalt away and placed him back in the cage after I heard hisses. I'm not sure if I should let this continue further or if this is normal kitten play? I had just the one litter of kittens (Cobalt and his two brothers) but they left me at 9 weeks, so I've never had kittens this far along. (I've never had kittens period.) Again, is this normal? Should I let them go? Sweetie seems to be getting more comfortable in her environment now and tonight I'm going to let her be out all night so she can really explore and start getting more and more used to the place.

Jahzara said:

This evening went a bit better I think? I let Sweetie out and placed Cobalt in her cage. He slept for a while, then she was showing interest that she wanted to get to him. So I opened the cage and he casually came out. They're fine with each other in all other aspects. Cobalt ate a bit, she watched him, stalked him even. They engaged in play for a while. They each chased each other, ears were perked forward (unless they anticipated a swat or tackle). But later it ensued in her growling and eventually hissing at him. I finally took Cobalt away and placed him back in the cage after I heard hisses. I'm not sure if I should let this continue further or if this is normal kitten play? I had just the one litter of kittens (Cobalt and his two brothers) but they left me at 9 weeks, so I've never had kittens this far along. (I've never had kittens period.) Again, is this normal? Should I let them go? Sweetie seems to be getting more comfortable in her environment now and tonight I'm going to let her be out all night so she can really explore and start getting more and more used to the place.

Click to expand...

It really sounds all perfectly fine, you do not need to worry. Let them be together during the day, but I would personally still seperate them during the night so they can both relax and rest a little.

Hissing and growling is really okay, they do need to learn how the other is, so it's a natural process. Try not to interfene as long as no one is getting seriously hurt. Itll solve. They are cats, this is how nature works. The licking part obviously shows she's fine and does like him. I think they are just playing, but Cobalt drags on too long so she tells him.

Thank you! I was thinking along these lines as well... I'm glad someone with more knowledge of kittens thinks it's alright.

I let them play longer together today. Lots of the same stuff. Cobalt does eventually abate a bit and eventually they both laid down out of tiredness.

I'm still learning about kittens, so everyone's help was greatly appreciated.

Jahzara said:

 
Thank you! I was thinking along these lines as well... I'm glad someone with more knowledge of kittens thinks it's alright.

I let them play longer together today. Lots of the same stuff. Cobalt does eventually abate a bit and eventually they both laid down out of tiredness.

I'm still learning about kittens, so everyone's help was greatly appreciated.

Click to expand...

I think you are doing great introducing these two.  I see many more fosters in your future.

Thanks. I do enjoy fostering! This little girl is my 6th foster since starting in October.