Worried about bringing in a feral cat

I've been feeding a feral cat, Thomas, from my 2nd story apt window in NYC for 3 years now (I lower a box filled w food to him). The time has come to move, and I can't imagine leaving him behind w no one to fill my role of caretaker. My husband and I both agree we don't have the heart to abandon him, but we also have a new baby and not a lot of time to go through the socializing process with this cat. I picture putting him in a spare bedroom initially, and visiting once daily (although I know that number should increase in time). I've read up on the process, and have rescued lots of ferals as 4 week kittens, so I have a lot of experience w cats, I just haven't ever done an adult cat who is terrified and whom I've never had direct contact with. Am I crazy? I would love for Thomas to become a part of our family, as he has played with one of my cats who I've let outside, and I know he's very lonely by himself. I just don't know how much time we have to give him and I don't want his life to be worse off because I fail at socializing him properly. Does anyone have any thoughts on this? Thanks.

I'm not going to be much help but I think it's wonderful you don't want to leave him behind. I think it's definitely worth a try given the amount of time he's had contact with you guys. Does he come in at all at the moment or only to the window?

Feral are a COMPLETELY different kind of cat. They don't act too much like a domestic cat. Our now 6 month old feral rescue roams and is territorial. Be prepared to find presents in your plants because that's where they go in the wild. There is alot more to their behavior that you have to consider than a regular domestic. It's not impossible but it's not exactly easy.

That is a BIG difference between 4 weeks kittens, whom are essentially just kittens, and an adult cat.   That said, if you do have the determination, patience, love and time  - it is worth a try yes.

Time not necessarily many hours a day - although more then one visit a day! - but it will take at least several months, before he is decently socialized. 

Of course, you dont need to turn him into a sociale, outgoing cat.  Its more than enough he is a cat accepting the family members, but will remain shy to strangers.  That is realistic - with a little luck he may even become a lovebug to family members.

The fact he recognizes your smell and surely voice as something friendly, and him being friends with your resident, are helping a lot...

A friendly resident is often a good ambassdeur and a good help for wanna be rescuers, whom have a big heart and much good will, but not much practical experience.

I see no reason why Thomas can't become an inside only cat. It will take work but it can be done. Four of our six inside cats were former ferals and two were born feral and didn't come inside until they were six months old. They all now peacefully co-exist with us.

A room of his own is essential. He can learn to use the litterbox. If you put dried leaves or dirt on the litter, he will soon recognize what to do. You may want to keep a carrier or covered crate in the room so he has a place to shelter. Depending on his personality and how feral he is, he will make the adjustment slowly or not so slowly. But he will adjust.

Visiting him once or twice a day may be all he can stand at the beginning. He may want more later.

I would check with your neighbors. He may be someone's cat who is allowed to wander, so you want to make sure.

Also, get him to the vets as soon as you trap him to ensure he's healthy. He will most likely need flea treatment, worming, and of course, neutering, if that hasn't been done.

Thank you so much for taking him with you. Not many people would do that.

Wow. Thanks for all the replies.

Thomas has been neutered. I did it 3-4 years ago. I would take him straight to the vet after trapping him because no chance I would risk him bringing worms fleas and worse into my home now w two other fur babies.

He's definitely my cat as he's been living in one of two shelters I maintain (he switches around... I put two in the alley hoping to provide for a larger number of ferals but Thomas hasn't let anyone else move in to the alley w him). I don't have experience bringing an adult feral inside, but know them well and know they won't be like my indoor domesticated cats. I accept him as he is. I just don't want bloody arms every time I go in to feed him, or pee all over my room. I already have dealt w scooping poop from the plants (most of my cats have come from outside, with all their idiosyncratic preferences). I really hope to give him access to the outside again, as my indoor cat Emma requires outdoor time, and I know how much they thrive from that exposure. It's a big reason we are moving. We need the outdoors, too!

I guess the unknowns for me, and probably there is no answer to this now, ahead of engaging him, is if this will be the better option for all of us. I know my track record. I have never intentionally turned my back on an animal once I offer them a certain amount of comfort or expectation. I hope w time Thomas will be able to find his place, both inside when weather is inclement, and if he still likes it, outside. I'd move his "feral villa" with us (one of his two shelters) so he'd have his own "house" in his new room. I'd add cosy blanketed boxes w hiding cubbies. I'll set up the two litter boxes w organic soil which I'll scoop out into our yard so that he'll smell himself out there when & if the time comes.

Yes, thanks all for encouraging me. I don't care if he ever becomes a love bug w us (although he is a love when I pet him w the dangling box, revealing his belly for strokes). I just want him to be happy, and us all to be safe. I'm hoping it won't take more than 6 months before we can let him out of the room. We'll just have to see and go slow w him.

You have a good plan and it sounds like you know what to expect. He is one lucky kitty!

Please keep us posted.

Hi All...

Time for an update. We caught Thomas in 10 minutes when I put the trap out and set it... he pleaded with me below the window because he knew his food was in the trap and he didn't want to go in there. I said "Just do it, Thomas. Come with us. I promise we will do our best to help make your life better". He trusted me, and he was in the trap within minutes of our conversation. I couldn't believe how easy it was...

Flash forward 6 weeks. We moved within two days, he was in the trap until the move, then in a big dog crate for 2 weeks in our dining room, next to an opened screen door. A friend with a lot of feral & TNR experience said that we could leave him in the big dog crate in a public room, covered for privacy, but with a window to see us so that he could feel as much a part of our family as he wanted. I liked that he had all the air from outside coming in on to his crate, and the sounds of crickets and birds were audible to him. I cleaned his litter and fed him twice daily. He didn't mind me coming in to the crate to do that. At one point he sniffed my hand. He also got very excited to see my two cats come near his cage. Even he was optimistic.

Then my husband let him out of the crate. Thomas quickly ran around the large open floor plan, and found some hiding spots. He favored under the couch. We never saw him the first few days, but when we went out, we could see him and the other cats hanging out together through the windows (we would be looking inside from the outside). Everyone was getting along. After a few days where Thomas returned to the crate to use the litterbox that I left in there, he stopped doing that, and started peeing around the house. It took me a few days to find the messes. They were targeted: first my shoes, then a corner of the rug (where some fabric had been left on the floor), then the guest bed (about 3 separate times), then, finally, it was the couch. What a mess... I had been able to recognize patterns, and I felt I had a handle on the situation. But after 3 weeks of free range, I was losing the ability to keep the house clean. The couch... I couldn't even begin to fathom having to clean that more than once. And we couldn't afford to lose anything.

So I chased him out from under the couch, and decided I needed to get him back in the crate. I had at that point been able to hang out with him in the living room without his hiding under the couch, so I guessed we were close to a more "socialized" place than we were. I followed him upstairs into a room, and was able to confine him. I didn't know how to get him back in the crate so I was cornering him. I stayed up all night with him, talking to him, trying to get him to accept me, moving closer to him. I realize now what an awful thing this was. I tried to pet him. I made eye contact. I didn't realize in my exhaustion how much I was violating his space, and how much he probably interpreted this as aggressive. I tried to grab him to put him in the crate. He clawed me in the face, and I backed off quite bloody. As I dressed the 5 wounds on my face (lips, nose, inside nose, etc), he made his way back downstairs to the first floor guest bathroom and hid under the vanity. There's about 7 inches of crawl space. I noticed he was there, and left him alone.

The next morning he was still there under the vanity. I put his food, litter and a bed in there and we closed the door. He's still there a week later. He has an open window with all the outdoor noises. He's got fresh air. I gave him a scratching post. I visit him for about 1-2 hours a day spread over 4-5 visits. I just installed a Feliway diffuser this morning. We need the bathroom back in 3 weeks (so 4 weeks total), but for now, we've accepted that we don't have a bathroom on the first floor of our house.

If anyone has any helpful advice, or encouragement, I sure could use it. I know I did a tremendous amount of damage with the aggressive behavior towards him last Saturday, and I'm not going to do that again. But if we don't have a better interaction in 3 weeks, I'm going to be opening the screen window for him to have access to the outside. Mostly I'm just worried that we aren't going to get anything more from him by waiting, and we are just causing undue suffering by containing him.

In the next 3 weeks, I will put his used litter around our yard so that when he does go out, he will smell himself out there. I will also have his feral villa (his little shelter from Brooklyn) out there. And I'll feed him daily on our deck. Hopefully he'll stay close by. The thought of losing him after all this... just crushes me. I promised him a better life. And now I don't know that I can give that to him, or what I need to do anymore in order TO GIVE that to him.

Thanks...

Hi @kellyjelly

Thank you so much for everything you've done for Thomas. I love the fact that you went to all the trouble to bring him with you. I moved a colony of semi-feral cats with me when I moved house a few years ago. I know how tough that can be.

It sounds like he was confused about where he should pee and that's why he went on the couch and the carpet. Cats usually pick something soft and absorbent when they can't find a litter box. If you were going to keep him as an indoor cat I'd suggest litter boxes throughout the house, but if you think he would be happier as an outdoor cat there's no need. I think your idea of keeping him confined to one room for now is a good one.

The felliway doesn't work if you leave the windows open. You need to keep the windows and doors shut so that the smell builds up in the room. If you think the sounds and smells from outside are keeping him happy then leave the windows open but don't bother with the diffuser.

Getting scratched like that was a setback, but it's not the end of the world. I still have scars from the first time I tried to touch one of my feral cats. He's a total love bug now, but four years ago when he was a skittish 6 month old he just wasn't ready to be petted.

I think the best thing to do is to keep visiting Thomas and talking to him softly as you have been doing. Don't let the first time you touch him be when you're trying to get him into a crate, they pick up on your stress and anxiety and it freaks then out. If possible let him come to you. A wand toy is a great way to get him used to coming closer to you. Once he is happy playing with the wand toy you can use that to pet him with, then gradually move on to petting with your hands. The key here is to go slowly. It took months before I could touch some of my cats and even now there are a few that I would never dream of trying to pick up.

Putting his used litter in your yard is a good idea. Could you move his feral villa into the room with him now? The more things that have his smell on them when he finally goes outside the better.

I let my colony out after 4 weeks in their new home. There are no guarantees with cats of course, but out of 20+ cats only one of them took off and never came back.

Good luck with Thomas, please keep us updated.

I'm sure it it stressful for Thomas because cats are very tied to their territory, but he knows you and will adapt.  Sending healing energy to both of you! 

He actually came out last night and made eye contact w me for about 10 seconds! It's good to know the diffuser and open windows are incompatible but we already bought it, and the room is only about 35 sq feet, so we will keep it plugged in for now.

I like the idea of using a wand toy, as I used to pet Thomas before using the box that I lowered out my second story window. He loves to be pet from a distance! I have no intention to keep him as an indoor animal, and was just keeping him contained for transition time. But I am also wanting to make the most of this time that we "have him" to explore the possibility that he might want to be closer, as he used to cry outside my window for hours a night wanting me to pet him w the box. His food would be full and he'd still cry. I know he was so lonely in his previous alley as no other cats would join him and stay. It was quite sad for me to watch him struggle to keep a friend, and on a number of occasions he would become smitten w a visiting cat and then a few days later he was on his own again. So I know he wants love!

I don't think the feral villa will fit where he is currently but I will try. Maybe I can fit it under the window, which might actually be great because then he could sit on the roof and look outside. He's only inside for another 2 weeks (give or take) so I will get to work on the new ideas. And, yes, of course I will be sitting in there every night for an hour after my baby is asleep, on top of the many visits throughout the day.

Thanks, everyone, for the help. Also good to know that the stressful interaction of last weekend was not a deal breaker.

Hi Kelly. I wanted to reach out and tell you that I trapped a feral about 6 months ago not really knowing where things were going to end up. At one point, I thought my feral was likely better off outside. But thankfully things turned around and she is now the most loving cat I've ever owned. I have 6 months of things that worked for her if you are interested. I didn't want to launch into what I've learned if you have decided to let your feral out. Let me know.

BelleBlue, thanks for the new post. I am curious to know some things you did. I feel like I tried a lot of things but that he wasn't really getting anywhere w any of them — he just missed the outdoors so much.

I didn't really want to let Thomas out. I've cared for him for 6 years now. But for some reason, I caved to the idea that he was ready, or that he'd stick around, or that my husband was sure he'd be fine outdoors and wouldn't go anywhere, and the fact he's been so miserable inside these two months, so I left the window open. He didn't go out for a couple of days, but then he did while we were away for the day.

In my mind, I have a million things I want a do-over for. He left and we haven't seen him. As a feral, I can't begin to think how I would look for him (I've read they can travel a range of almost 1300 acres), how I'd get him back inside if I did find him, how I'd continue to care for him in a way that he is not absolutely miserable (he's been miserable since I've had him w us inside).... I am devastated and so worried about him but really can't come up w anything I can do for him anymore.

I'm regretting taking him away from his alley in Brooklyn where he had so much spirit and joy. I know he was very lonely, but he had his routes, and his habits, and his spots. He'd come running w great excitement every time I'd do my "Thomas whistle". I do it here, now, too, w hopes that it reaches him wherever he is and is comforting, and that maybe he'll hear it and when ready he will come back. I am sure he's afraid of being captured again and brought inside by me, since I released him before I was able to socialize him at all. So I suspect he has no intention of coming anywheres near here.

If anyone has advice of ways I can turn this experience around, find Thomas, have some reassurance that he may be doing okay out there. We are surrounded by large acreage farms here, so if he can travel some distance, he's bound to find a lot of resources — food & shelter — but knowing he is a city cat, this just makes me all the more upset to think he's at a loss for how to handle this new place. I am so worried about him, and I miss him.

Do you have pictures of him? I would advise showing his picture to your neighbors and asking around your neighborhood if anyone's seen him. This is what I did when my outdoor feral  disappeared for a week a few times. You could also post his picture on your local FaceBook lost and found site. It would be helpful if someone recognized him and you at least knew he was okay and where he was. It's possible he set out to find his old territory again. Did you move far from your old place? Maybe it would be worth a drive to your old place to look for him.

It's extremely difficult for feral cats over a year old to adjust to indoor life only. I know it can be accomplished with some, but not all. How long has he been gone? Perhaps you could leave his food bowl out with some food in it daily, along with his cat house, in case he is nearby and still coming around, hoping for food. You will want food to be readily available if he returns and is hungry and exhausted.  If he returns, don't try to trap him again unless he's ill or injured. Let him get comfortable being an outdoor cat in his new territory.  

I took in a feral kitten almost four months ago who was somewhere between 4 and 8 months old. I put her in a room by herself with a cat tree, which she loved, because she could get some height and hide in the cubby holes but I could still see her. She bonded with my other cats, especially her brother from a different litter, almost immediately. She had the run of the house within days. She was terrified of me, but very comfortable with my other cats--I was glad she bonded with them, and I gave her space and time. I'm still not able to pet her without her cringing and bolting, but she is much more comfortable around me now and enjoys her life indoors, and her toys and food. That is enough for me.  Some adopted feral cats never become affectionate with us, but that doesn't mean they don't feel a bond. 

If Thomas returns and you want him to feel comfortable coming indoors when the weather is bad, I suggest placing a few litter boxes in different parts of the house, which is a good idea since you have other cats, too. Consider getting him a cat tree, where he can have height and also hide,  and try to engage him in play with a wand toy. Let him back outside when he wants to go back outside, and make food available outside as well. Let him know that the power struggle is over. If he doesn't want to come inside again, don't force it. Don't crate or cage him again. He will come trust you again and forgive the past mistakes that were made.

I hope Thomas returns to you. I know how hard this is for you. Don't beat yourself up--you're doing your best for him. All we can do is our best.

Possibly you could use an old portable tape deck and space out recording your "Thomas whistle" on a tape and play it outside and hope he hears it when he passes by. A tape deck with auto flip sides so it can go for hours. Space your whistle out something like every 15 minutes. Put a box with some of your clothes or a towel (scent on it) and some food out. And if you can get your hands on a cheap time lapse camera you could use it to monitor your setup. Salvation Army or a Goodwill are good places to pick up old electronics cheap. If you know someone that is into gardening they may have a time lapse camera you could borrow.

To record my work cats when they were living outside, I used a cheap time lapse camera meant for gardening. There were days when I would not see one of the cats and I couldn't spend the entire day waiting. Every single time it worried me as I was afraid something bad happened, then later when I would look at camera photos I would see the cat and it was so relieving.

I hope you reconnect with Thomas. Don't beat yourself up over it. You have a big heart, you did what you felt was right and that is what really matters. I think it would have been worse if you left him behind when you weren't sure if someone would care for him. At least you tried which is more than most people would do.

I agree with what everyone ahead has said.  It is quite obvious you indeed do have a BIG, Kind heart, and love this cat dearly.  Thomas loves you as well.  I think he is just trying to get his bearings straight right now, figuring out his new environment getting to learn his new turf.  From the description of your new home, sound like you are not living out in the "burbs" and a much safer environment than in the burrough of Brooklyn.  A much better, safer landscape for Thomas.  Having your  scent available to him outside your house, continuing the "Thomas" whistles, keeping his favorite food available to him outside is the right way to go in my opinion.  Please don't lose heart and don't get discouraged.  If he is meant to be with you and your family, it WILL work out.  Don't ever forget you have only had the very BEST intentions for this kitty and always have for the past 6 years of your relationship.  Please continue to keep us updated, and keep your spirits up too, Kelly!!!  Big hug for you, dear.

And by the way, can you post a picture of Thomas??

@kellyjelly  you did the right thing by bringing Thomas with you. Imagine how his life would have been if you had left him in Brooklyn. He would have sat outside your window for ages wondering where you had gone and who was going to feed him now. It's much better like this.

He knows where you are. He knows how to take care of himself. He's out exploring this awesome new environment you've provided him with, catching mice and enjoying all the open space. A few of the feral cats I care for have disappeared into the woods for a while from time to time. They're sometimes gone for a couple of weeks, but they make their way back.

If you still have the litter that Thomas used sprinkle some of that around the edges of your yard so that he knows where his home territory is.

I'd love to see a picture of Thomas too.

Hello Kelly: I feel your pain at Thomas being gone. I trapped my little feral at Christmas just before a winter storm. I had been feeding her before that. To put it mildly, she freaked. She was super scared for a long while. I kept her in a large bathroom by herself. I visited her every day. At least twice a day for about 45 minutes to an hour. And all I did for about 4 months was read to her. She hid (and hissed) at first. Then gradually came out and stared at me. Got closer and closer. She loved when I read to her. After 6 months, she suddenly turned into a snuggle girl. She now sits on my lap and purrs our entire visit. The first month was hell though. She would hiss and growl at me constantly. She would cry early in the morning too. That stopped. I am into psychics and I spoke with a pet psychic and she told me a lot about what my little feral was thinking. Mostly she was confused. So I stayed with it. It worked out. I know it doesn't always work out. I really hope Thomas returns. [emoji]128156[/emoji][emoji]128154[/emoji]