Overly-Attached and Needy Cat

I've had Ricky for almost a year now. He is a shelter kitty that use to be a stray. Approximately 3 years old now.

Ricky is unlike any cat I've every been around. He seems to have extreme separation anxiety and it is driving me nuts. I love cats and have had cats my whole life but Ricky is needier than any cat I have ever met and acts more like a cross between a dog and newborn baby.

His behaviors include:

Meowing nonstop if not given attention.

-from the moment i get home he is meowing constantly unless he is being help or in my lap. Not just small meows either, these are big almost yelling meows.

Must be either in my lap or being held at all times.

-seriously he never wants alone time but unfortunately i do!

Does not respond to any sort of training.

-i've tried saying "no" in a firm voice and removing him from table or lap when i don't want him to be up there and he will just back on instantly no matter how many times i do it.

-i've tried putting him the the bedroom and only letting him out when he stops meowing but he will start right back up when he get out,

-I have even gotten him a calming collar in hopes that it would calm him down and relieve some of his separation anxiety but to no avail.

-I will only pet him if he is being quiet or sitting calmly next to me instead of up on me unless invited.

-I would get him another cat to keep him company but he hates other cats and even sent my friends cat to the ER for stiches when i had him staying with her for awhile.

I'm seriously at the end of my ropes. He stresses me out so much and I spend most of the time i am at home just trying to train him to avoid these behaviors but there has been no signs of improvement in the last two month.

Actually there has been one improvement. he use to meow all night outside my bedroom door until i let him in. And I mean ALL night without stop. Since I got the collar and stopped letting him in no matter how much he cries he has stopped meowing completely at night. 

I need help! Its gotten to the point where I feel like i am raising a newborn and its driving me insane.

I need to get Ricky more independent and I feel like I have tried everything. I don't want to give him to someone else because I just feel like it would make his separation anxiety worse but if feel like that's they way this is heading if I can't get him to change some of his behaviors. 

Some cats do feel like them need to be the centre of attention, and it sounds like Ricky is one of those. The fact that you got him to stop meowing outside the bedroom door is a good sign - it suggests this is something that can be trainable. I'll see what I can think of for some of the problems you listed, and I'm sure others will be along soon with more ideas.

He keeps jumping on the table: Ah, I ran into this with my Wendel. Does he have any surfaces he can jump on, like a cat tree or shelf? We found that (of all the silly things) putting aluminum foil on the table stopped this - Wendel hated jumping on the foil. So he'd hop up and immediately hop back down. As soon as he did, we'd encourage him to jump onto the ottoman instead, and to this day he'll bypass the table and hop up onto the ottoman with our feet. The behavior's still there, it's just re-directed. He'd hop up to get attention and discovered he got more attention by not getting up on the table. that may be something you can try.

The Meowing: This might sound silly, but has he had his vision & hearing checked? Our Cotton picked up this habit as he got older and it was because his eyesight wasn't as good, so he'd yowl to make sure you (and everyone else) knew where he was. Truthfully, if it's not medical, he may just be a vocal cat.

You're on the right track with him, it sounds like you just need to stay the course and he'll calm down eventually. If you found the calming collar worked, you could also try calming diffusers or rescue remedies. They may help calm the separation anxiety as well as general anxiety.

Good luck! 

Thanks so much! I really appreciate it! I will try the tin foil on the table tonight.

I do a lot of work on my kitchen table and I try to always have a seat next to mine for Ricky to sit in but he either wants to sit on the table or in my lap. He only ever uses the seat I put next mine as a way to get into my lap even when i repeatedly put him back in his chair. Is there anyway I can make him content with just sitting in the chair next to me rather than always needing to be on me?

As for the medical issues I got him a check up earlier this summer and everything looked fine so i'm pretty sure he is just a vocal cat. Do you think calming diffusers would work to stop the constant meowing a bit?

One last thing I didn't mention in the my last post. My boyfriend is moving in with me when his lease ends in a few months. Problem is he has 2 cats of his own and Ricky is notoriously not a friendly cat with other cats. Does anyone have any suggestions on how to successfully integrate Ricky with my boyfriends cats? 

We already plan on trying to introduce them via crates before the move and we plan on keeping them in separate rooms when we are not home but any other suggestions would help.

Bellalion9 said:

 
Thanks so much! I really appreciate it! I will try the tin foil on the table tonight.

I do a lot of work on my kitchen table and I try to always have a seat next to mine for Ricky to sit in but he either wants to sit on the table or in my lap. He only ever uses the seat I put next mine as a way to get into my lap even when i repeatedly put him back in his chair. Is there anyway I can make him content with just sitting in the chair next to me rather than always needing to be on me?

As for the medical issues I got him a check up earlier this summer and everything looked fine so i'm pretty sure he is just a vocal cat. Do you think calming diffusers would work to stop the constant meowing a bit?

One last thing I didn't mention in the my last post. My boyfriend is moving in with me when his lease ends in a few months. Problem is he has 2 cats of his own and Ricky is notoriously not a friendly cat with other cats. Does anyone have any suggestions on how to successfully integrate Ricky with my boyfriends cats? 

We already plan on trying to introduce them via crates before the move and we plan on keeping them in separate rooms when we are not home but any other suggestions would help.

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Welcome to both you and Ricky!!  We'd love to see a picture of him!

Here is an article from this site on introducing cats to cats. It's very informative !  http://www.thecatsite.com/a/how-to-successfully-introduce-cats-the-ultimate-guide

Here's a 

I can really sympathize with you trying to get Ricky onto his own chair...we've been teaching Wendel to sit on his chair (he loves to sit with us at dinner but there's no way we'll let him on the table, so he sits in his chair at the table with us.

Honestly, it took a lot or repetition. Whenever he got on the table, I'd tell him to go to his chair and move him. When he went to the chair on his own, he got a treat. It's not perfect, but now if he hops up, my husband or I just have to point at his chair and tell him "on your chair" and he'll go sit. It does sound like he's trainable, so it'll just take some persistence.

For introductions of new cats, we actually have a great guide here: http://www.thecatsite.com/a/how-to-successfully-introduce-cats-the-ultimate-guide

The big thing is going to be making sure Ricky doesn't feel displaced, but if you take things slowly, it should work out.

Thanks for all of your help! I feel much better about training Ricky now. My hope is renewed!

Also thanks for the link to how to introduce cats! I will definitely study it thoroughly before bringing my boyfriends cats around.

Here are pictures of Ricky (In a chair!) and my boyfriends cats Olive and Drake. They are a little under a year old so they are still pretty tiny but growing fast!

Awww....what cuties! Olive and Drake still have that kitten look, don't they. The gray and white looks full of energy!

I love Ricky in the chair! Such a handsome tabby and I absolutely love his face. He looks so dignified.