Two people- separate cats- new house- anarxhy

Hi everyone.

My friend and I, after much deliberating, decided to find a place together. We picked a terrace home, spread over four floors. It's fairly narrow but with lots of stairs.

My friend had her own cat, Morri, and I had my two cats- cat and kitten. Cat was always very chill, though very much so the bigger cat. Initially cat and morri were curious of each other and seemed to get along. Then suddenly it switched. Cat became hugely dominant, of the spaces and of the cats. Morri wouldn't accept his dominance and fought back resulting in physical fights, yowling, screeching, hissing, biting, etc. Morri became a recluse in her room, and cat constantly tried to get in. Morri is hissy and stressed, and cat just wants to get to her, all the time. Today they found each other and fought, he ended up with a limp for a little while and she had a bleeding chin.

We have taken so many steps, to reintroduce slowly, scouring the Internet for tips- from crating cat, to separating, and much more. It is causing a huge amount of anguish for my housemate, and for me as I am struggling to fix it. We swapped bedrooms as cat seems to be able to open my old bedroom door and escape, especially when Morri is out and about.

As a side- cat has also started "play mounting" kitten. She's about 18 months old, spayed. He doesn't try to penetrate but jumps on her back and theists on her mid back area. Then he bites her scruff and pulls her about the bedroom, she just lets him.

I don't understand the hostility as he was always such a mellow boy. Basically it's to the point, after two months that my friend is considering moving out, or perhaps I need to rehome cat, which is the very last thing I want to do

Help- feliway didn't help, I don't know what to do. He is staying in my room for now.

Sounds like you are trying very hard to help the cats involved and yes, sounds like there's a lot of stress going on there between the cats. 

Since you mentioned Cat's mounting behavior I have to ask and make sure, is he neutered? You said kitten was spayed, is Morri spayed too?

My next questions would be - 

1. What do you and your friend do when you witness a clash, or the results of a clash?

2. Can you describe a typical encounter between Morri and Cat? Include as much detail as possible - what is each cat doing before they meet, which cat approaches first, what is their body language etc.

3. How many litterboxes do they have? Do they share litterboxes? Do they share feeding dishes?

Last, but not least, please have a quick look at this article and let me know which of the stress factors you think would have played a part in Morri's and Cat's lives during the past six months -

 [article="30274"]Potential Stressors In Cats The Ultimate Checklist​[/article]  

kabama said:

Help- feliway didn't help, I don't know what to do. He is staying in my room for now.

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I would like to read your answers to Anne's questions and its premature for us to give up on this, as it is new to us, but based on what I have read in your post, it is not too late for you to give up.  I know that sounds pessimistic but i am not from the school of thought (if there really is one) that if you just try hard enough and long enough you can get cats to be friends or at least tolerate each other.

There are times when cats decide they hate each other or at least one hates the other and that's it, it'd done and over.  When the new cat (in your case your feline named "Cat") is the hostile one, it is a very poor predictor for success.  New cats to a "colony" are supposed to by instinct assess the social strata and hierarchy of the colony so that they learn to fit in .  Cats who break this rule are in for a lot of fights.

I'm not giving up on your situation and I want to see your answers to Anne's questions, but i have serious reservations whether you will ever be able to fix this.

Another question: just how slowly are you doing the (re)introduction? You should be thinking of taking months, not weeks, to get them used to each other, since they don't have a natural affinity. Are you following all of the right steps, as described by Jackson Galaxy, for example? If I were in your situation, I would keep the two sides completely separate for at least a month to let the hostilities die down, then (if the growling and hissing have stopped) start feeding them on opposite sides of a door as Jackson suggests. StephenQ is probably right that success is not guaranteed, even if you do everything right.

Anne said:

 
Sounds like you are trying very hard to help the cats involved and yes, sounds like there's a lot of stress going on there between the cats. 

Since you mentioned Cat's mounting behavior I have to ask and make sure, is he neutered? You said kitten was spayed, is Morri spayed too?

My next questions would be - 

1. What do you and your friend do when you witness a clash, or the results of a clash?

2. Can you describe a typical encounter between Morri and Cat? Include as much detail as possible - what is each cat doing before they meet, which cat approaches first, what is their body language etc.

3. How many litterboxes do they have? Do they share litterboxes? Do they share feeding dishes?

Last, but not least, please have a quick look at this article and let me know which of the stress factors you think would have played a part in Morri's and Cat's lives during the past six months -

 [article="30274"]Potential Stressors In Cats The Ultimate Checklist​[/article]  

Click to expand...

 HI there,

Sorry all the replies went into my spam and i did not see them. 

Cat is neutered, and the girls are spayed. 

A typical encounter.. well perhaps they watch each other, Morri growls and then cat charges. That's if we are there and are controlling the situation. More recently, it is cat trying to get into the room morri is in (we are unaware this is happening until too late) and we hear the fight, run down, and cat is hiding under the bed, with Morri on top of something, Morri puffed up, cat stressed and tail all puffy. 

They don't share litter boxes, in fact they have no real access to each other.. well except today, because cat has worked out how to open doors, which is a new thing to contend with. We push something heavy against Morrys door, but if he does it when it is Morrys time to roam, we need to be vigilent - my house mate ended up with a scratched foot this morning, and narrowly avoided a clash. 

Well.. that article.. A lot of them. 

I was living in one place with my cats, my friend was living with her cat in another, and we combined households into a new house. So new environment for all pets. No cat is new, but everything is new to them. When we first moved in Cat and Morry were curious and happy to see each other, Cat slowly became more dominant and Morri fought back hard, and it became the scenario we have now. 

So far we have separated completely. My cats have the house during the day and go upstairs with me at night (they sleep at night so it works well) and Morry has the house to explore during the evening. We were going to begin feeding through opposite sides of the door next. 

PS; I keep spelling Morry/Morri. Tbh the owner swaps the spellings, so i have no idea which one. 

kabama said:

 
 HI there,

Sorry all the replies went into my spam and i did not see them. 

Cat is neutered, and the girls are spayed. 

A typical encounter.. well perhaps they watch each other, Morri growls and then cat charges. That's if we are there and are controlling the situation. More recently, it is cat trying to get into the room morri is in (we are unaware this is happening until too late) and we hear the fight, run down, and cat is hiding under the bed, with Morri on top of something, Morri puffed up, cat stressed and tail all puffy. 

They don't share litter boxes, in fact they have no real access to each other.. well except today, because cat has worked out how to open doors, which is a new thing to contend with. We push something heavy against Morrys door, but if he does it when it is Morrys time to roam, we need to be vigilent - my house mate ended up with a scratched foot this morning, and narrowly avoided a clash. 

Well.. that article.. A lot of them. 

I was living in one place with my cats, my friend was living with her cat in another, and we combined households into a new house. So new environment for all pets. No cat is new, but everything is new to them. When we first moved in Cat and Morry were curious and happy to see each other, Cat slowly became more dominant and Morri fought back hard, and it became the scenario we have now. 

So far we have separated completely. My cats have the house during the day and go upstairs with me at night (they sleep at night so it works well) and Morry has the house to explore during the evening. We were going to begin feeding through opposite sides of the door next. 

PS; I keep spelling Morry/Morri. Tbh the owner swaps the spellings, so i have no idea which one. 

Click to expand...

No one is new. We have both had our pets for 3 plus years. It is the combining of households into a new house that is new. 

Ravenclaw said:

 
Another question: just how slowly are you doing the (re)introduction? You should be thinking of taking months, not weeks, to get them used to each other, since they don't have a natural affinity. Are you following all of the right steps, as described by Jackson Galaxy, for example? If I were in your situation, I would keep the two sides completely separate for at least a month to let the hostilities die down, then (if the growling and hissing have stopped) start feeding them on opposite sides of a door as Jackson suggests. StephenQ is probably right that success is not guaranteed, even if you do everything right.

Click to expand...

I am happy to go as slowly as needed, though they can be some need from my housemate to have this happen as soon as possible, and she is concerned that the cats are unhappy in their current set up, and so is she. 

They have been completely separated since that big attack (apart from today when my cats escape, but apart from hissing no cat engaged in a fight - thanks to room mate) we were going to slowly begin introcutions soon. Perhaps wait until after xmas now.