Is it cruel keeping 15yo cat alive if I think he's dying?

Obviously I can't know for sure if he's dying but I think maybe he's tired after 5 months of liquid diarrhea 4+ times daily, begging to eat more canned food at least every hour, on and off 6 medicines, currently two, and no answers as to why after two vets have run every lab test, etc., the last time being three weeks ago.

He stopped eating and drinking 12 hours ago and is lethargic. He has never growled at me until today, but he very mildly growled when I picked him up. With my last cat six years ago, I didn't realize my cat was sufferING until I came home and she couldn't stop spinning in circles. I'd assumed my vet would've told me when it was time but he'd assumed because we spent so much trying to save her, we would keep wanting to try this and that. I no longer trust my judgement and although I trust my vet, I'd just prefer opinions from other cat lovers.

Should I wait and see? He was this ill 5 months ago and I was able to nurse him back to his current condition. He's lost a pound since his last vet visit.

I know it's a personal decision but if it were your cat, would you let him die at home or to prevent his possible suffering, would you put him to sleep? I admit I nursed him back months ago and he really has no cat life except diarrhea, constant feeling of starvation, and sleep. He has been asleep all day and doesn't *seem* to be suffering. But...

I would so greatly appreciate any thoughts or advice. He was a feral cat who adopted me almost 16 years ago. I'm at a loss and just so sad. Thank you.

I can't tell you what the right time is for you to end your cat's suffering.  I had to make this very difficult decision with two seniors that had been in my life since birth.  As they got older my hubby and I sat down and made a list of the things they enjoyed doing that we felt were important for them to continue to have a good quality of life.  Both of my boys had strokes. Claude could not move around well on his own and could not get to litter box because he could not navigate the stairs anymore.  I moved a literbox upstairs to my bedroom where he was hanging out to see if it would make a difference.  He also completely stopped eating anything.  He could not jump on the side of the tub to take a shower with us like he had been doing for most of his life.  He could not get on the bed on his own to sleep with us anymore.  We put him on the bed with us but he had to wake us up because he could not get down. We made the decision to put him to sleep after giving him one last night at home to snuggle with us and one last shower.  He did get an exam from a vet and they told us it was a stroke and things were most likely not going to get any better.  We made the decision to let him go because we knew that whatever time he had left would only be for us and he would be miserable because he could no longer do any of the things he enjoyed. He passed away in 2010.

His brother had a stroke a year later and we made the difficult decision to take him to the vet and release him from his suffering.We gave him one last night at home and loved on him the way he enjoyed before saying goodbye. He was also given an exam by the same vet that had examined his brother and the results were the same. Some of the things he had always loved to do was sleeping on our heads every night. He also enjoyed hanging out on the railing upstairs and hanging out with us when we were on our computers.  He also used to climb in our laps for cuddle time on the couch when we watched tv.  When he could no longer do any of the things he enjoyed we knew he no longer had a good quality of life and it was time.

It was really hard and emotional process to sit down and put the list together while they were still healthy.  When it was time to make the difficult decision seeing things on paper somehow made things clearer. No one is ever ready to say goodbye to their furbaby.  You will know in your heart when it is time to say goodbye even if you are not ready.  Claude and Tegato were in my life from the day they were born until it was their time to go to the rainbow bridge. You know your baby better than anyone else and you will know when the time is right.  This is a very difficult decision to make and it will hurt but it our final act of love to our fur babies to release them from their pain and suffering. It is clear how much you love your cat and you will know when it is time.

If he were my cat I would take him to the vet for a check-up because to me the growling could be a sign of pain.  Also the not eating is not good.  Do you think that there is anything the vet could do to improve his quality of life?  Is there anything that you have used in the past that you could try now to get him to eat again?  If this were my cat and nothing could be done to improve his quality of life then yes I would probably make the difficult decision to say goodbye. Some other members on this forum have had the vet come to their home instead of going to the vet is this an option that could be available to you?  I don't know your cat personally so I can only tell you what I would do if I were in the same situation.

If your cat is not enjoying things he use to and is having mostly bad days (or all bad days) and there is no treatment plan in the works that might provide relief,I think you need to really consider euthanasia. Allowing the cat to suffer and die at home would not be an option for me.

With that said, what have the vets ruled out as possible causes? What type of food is your cat eating? What testing as been done?

Hi I am sorry your baby is struggling.Were you ever given a diagnosis ? Did he have an Ultrasound looking for GI disease,cancer etc?T4 checked.Pancreas looked at and an spec fpl done looking for pancreatitis,triaditis etc? Have you dealt with the same vet all along or have you asked to see a specialist? A cat to me dying at home is a cruel way to die.basically starving to death as the organs gradually shut down>that to me personally is not humane.He loves you & deserves a peaceful passing if that is meant to be.I have seen many kitties being my own as well as others on death's door only to have had something missed by a vet that kitty turned 90 degrees around to live  a few more healthy happy yrs.Without an actual diagnosis you have nothing.You are paying for answers and are not getting any.Before you make this decision I personally recommend you see an Internist & make sure all bases are & have been covered.Often i see vets when kitty gets 15 or older it is just like the elderly humans.There are no attempts to figure anything out.They just feel it is all over.My late tabby had a pancreatic flare up at 15 yrs old.it took 3 months to get her stabilized.I dealt with only a specialist and she lived a happy long life of one month shy of 20 yrs old.I had her as a runt and & owed her that.Pursuing absolutely every avenue until you knew.And you will know.Hugs honey during this trying time.Do no be afraid to to be the advocate for your baby.you are all he has & he loves you so.Vets are not above us.they are just people.Hopefully you have started syringe feeding him.C.It is personal choice for how & if we intervene & move forward or not.

All my cats have lived to be seniors. They all developed the same sicknesses that humans do. Each cat was treated on a case by case basis. In their latter years, when we knew they were sick, we spoiled them, mostly fed them whatever they would eat, gave them the medicines to help them feel better knowing it was palliative care. In every case, when they could longer eat and we knew there was no getting better, we made the decisions to let them go. It is extremely hard every time, but I believe it is the best way we can love them in their last hours. In every case, I prayed that I would find them already gone so I didn't have to make the decision. It never happened that way. They had no quality of life left and they were tired. Yes, I cried and still do. But I know I did the right thing for my cats. Anything else would have been for me, not them.

I am sorry for what you are going through. I hope you can find the right answer for you and your cat.

I am truly sorry about your cat, but if he is not eating and really sick you have to make that difficult decision.

One of my baby that passed away, I nursed her for almost a year, I didn't want her to go. I held her in my arms everyday and whispering her "please be healthy again baby, mommy and your sissy needs you badly" she looked at me and looks like she wanted to cry. She was skinny my poor baby I knew it was time, she wasn't eating, she wasn't drinking so I made that difficult decision I called her vet the next day and put her to sleep. I cried each time I read post like this, really hard to let them go  but we don't want them to suffer anymore.

Please take care and hugs...

Thank you to every one of you for replying. I'm saddened, hurt and even disgusted by what I now know I must do tomorrow.

To answer the questions some had: every lab test that can be run on a cat was last done three weeks ago and everything came back normal except for high protein level, the vet said from excessive eating. We took him to our regular vet many times, an internal specialist, and even a school of veterinary medicine. NoNE of the vets could find anything wrong; essentially they ruled everything out and experimented with medicines they thought might work. None did. He's lost almost half his body weight. I have force fed him water but he was fighting it so bad, I didn't get much in.

Also, in the last 30 minutes he's become more active but in a negative way- he's attacked his sister cat 3 times. He's never had a mean bone in his body before. I'm shocked he went after her for no reason each time.

Your replies have given me peace of mind to allow him to see his family and play again. They're all waiting for him to cross rainbow bridge. He's not happy and I want him to be happy again.

Thank you all for the reassurance. My baby is going to rainbow bridge heaven. Im happy for him but honestly and selfishly, I think it really sucks. It's the hard part for all of us who love our furbabies isn't it? They're my other kids.

Once again, thank you all so very much.

Quick update since my last post: I decided to try again feeding my sick baby again (it's 2:35am) and he ate for about two minutes, for the first time in about 18 hours! Typically, he will eat for 10 or so minutes, but still, he ate something! Interesting side note: he has refused any and all cat food since he first became sick except for Fancy Feast 'Grilled' canned food in beef, chicken, and turkey flavors. He will turn his pink nose to everything else! I have tried other different things throughout the day today, though.

Everything else remains the same. He's especially lethargic, outside of those two minutes eating. I was thinking it was an improvement but then I just now remembered...even if he starts eating his version of normal again, he would still have no life beyond eating, diarrhea, and sleeping

Thanks for at least listening and letting me vent and question myself. Again.

I am sorry that your kitty is so ill. I know it is heartbreaking when our babies become sick and we are at a loss as to how to help him. I don't understand why a vet could not diagnose what may be wrong with your kitty. If it were my cat, I would want to know what was wrong with my baby before making a decision that I couldn't change. I know most people would say to put your kitty down since he appears to be so ill. You are the only one that can make that decision. You know your kitty best and know what is right for him.Maybe I am wrong, but I don't think you are ready or comfortable with that final decision. You seem torn as to what to do. You are just not ready. Please don't do something that you are not ready to do, no matter what anyone tells you, vet included. I still think you knew more answers as to what is wrong. Once you know what the problem with your kitty is, then you can take it from there and make a decision. Maybe try a different vet who hopefully can give you some answers. There must be a reason why your poor cat is acting the way he is. I hope I helped a little. I just want you to be 100 percent sure of any decision you make. I know it is hard, but it is also hard living with regrets. I don't want that for you.
Wishing you and your kitty all the best.
I am sure you will do what is best for both you and your kitty.
Only you can decide what that is.
May we see a picture of your sweet baby Also what is his name?

Loving Mickey Yes, I think my greatest concern is I don't know what's wrong with him, even after 2 vets (one clinic), one specialist, numerous vets at a highly respected veterinarian school of medicine, two hospitilizations, and roughly $4500- all this since only March. I am not a rich woman and it is taking a heavy tole financially- I may need to resort to street work as a side job, although a credit card will surely be less taxing physically, so that'lol be the financial and moral route! But I am very torn. I cannot sleep for the guilt thinking what if? Maybe it's treatable but I've no idea without a diagnosis.

He ate a small amount again. I've decided to take him tomorrow to the vet I used to go to in the city I used to live ten years ago. Thank you for such a raw, nail-on-the-head reply.

Finally, would like to introduce you to my cat-child, named Milo McButterPants. This picture was just recently taken. Thank you for asking!

I am so sorry you are going through this horribly difficult time! I'm sorry for your kitty too. It sounds like he is miserable and probably in pain, which would explain the more aggressive behavior and growling.

I can't tell you what to do, but I can share one experience I recently had.  It was a small dog, not a cat, but same situation and impossible decision to make. I will spare you the details, but I kept hoping he would eat, I kept seeing signs he was "getting better" each time he would actually get up and walk around a bit or if he would have a sip of water. Truth is, I was in total denial- yes, he would walk across the room, but barely, on shaking legs... and then, vomit the water!  He was lethargic, skinny and nowhere the happy puppy he was throughout his entire life. I wound up prolonging his suffering. I finally did call the vet  asking them what they thought. I described what was gong on and they said, it's time, bring him in and they set an appointment for later that day. While on our way in the car, he passed away peacefully, in my daughter's arms, sparing us from having to make that horrible decision.

But you know what? Ever since that day, I keep beating myself up for having put him through what was probably misery and excruciating pain. I now know I should have taken him in at least a month before, when I first started noticing he was deteriorating. I will never forgive myself for that!!

Only you know how your kitty used to be and how he is now. Only you know if it's time or not. But if you feel it might be, don't hesitate any longer. I believe that the fact you are even considering it, you must know, somewhere deep down inside, that he would be better off at Rainbow Bridge!? In some cases, it is the most humane, kindest thing you can do for your baby. I also know it is the hardest thing to do. 

Have you asked the vet office what they think? They might be able to shed some light and help you make the right decision. 

What ever you decide, it will be the right decision for you and your old friend. I wish you all the best!!

My heart goes out to you!

Michelle

Give Milo lots of love!!! And just know whatever decision you make its the right one because you love him and he knows you love him.

ladymaryme I can feel the pain you are going through just from your words. My heart truly aches for you, as I know how much you love your baby. I see you have gone to different vets and had numerous tests. Maybe he is dealing with some form of cancer and the vets are just not finding it. I would say that he is just get older and that could explain pain and sleeping alot. However, it seems like there is something else going on with your poor kitty. I truly wish you had a diagnosis!
Believe me, I understand about vet expenses. They charge you so much and then can't tell you anything.
I truly wish I had some magic words to help you or to say to you.I hate thinking of what you are going through. I know it is torture, sleepless nights and all.
I couldn't sleep at all when my Mickey was so ill.I feared he would pass in the night, alone and scared. Basically, I stayed up with him , holding him.He passed about a year ago and I still am mourning his loss.
If you decide to try one more vet, I hope he can give you some answers. It would be nice if our pets could just live a long life and die peacefully with no pain. It don't always work that way, though.
Most vets will probably tell you to put your kitty down, since he seems so ill, and even though they have no answers for you. I can't say what to do. I don't think anyone can. It is such a personal decision and each one of us has to make the right decision for our kitties. You alone are the only one that can make that decision for your own kitty.
I would never want to persuade you either way. Some people fear they do it too soon and others feel they wait too late.
I know in my heart you will do what is best for your Milo. You love him and he knows that.
In the end, I didn't need to make that final decision for my Mickey. He passed naturally at home in my arms. The vet suspected colon cancer, but was never really sure. Of course, vet said to put him to sleep as most vets will say. However, my vet didn't push it.Mickey didn't last long after diagnosis and still had happy days. I do believe my vet's diagnosis was right. I also believe I made the right decision for me and my kitty.
I am only trying to point out that you need to do what is best for you and your kitty, and not what others tell you to do, even if it is a vet.
Your Milo is a sweet looking kitty and very adorable!
Thanks for sharing his picture with us.
Oh, my Mickey was 13 years old and I got him when he was about 6 months old. He was my baby, and I miss him terribly.
Big hugs to you and Milo!
I know how hard this all is!
Take Care and keep on posting updates.

He is a beautiful cat, just listen to your heart you would know what your hearts tell you.

Give him hugs for me....please!

Sorry for your pain... we have walked that path too and it just seems that no answer is right.  I think most people opt for Euthanasia as a responsible choice, and I felt our vet pushed us very hard in that direction.  I like our vet, and he was probably right... except one thing. He didn't know our Alex, he didn't see her at home, and he couldn't gauge our dedication to her.  Even though she declined for a year, she still had many good days.  When it was her time to go, she stopped eating.  It was different from the other times she went a day or two without eating, but we accepted it.  We just loved her until the end. She died of chronic renal failure, so we weren't dealing with the diareha etc.   It wasn't pleasant, but it wasn't as bad as it could have been.  She wanted to be near us, and we kept her near us.  She drifted in and out of consciousness, and her body just slowly shut down. Things I read said that as they quit eating and drinking, and their body begins shutting down, the pain subsides, and I think that is true.  At the end, she just seemed really tired.  She held on through the night (my daughter, and her owner for her whole life worked nights) and she died sleeping witih my daughter just as they had everynight for 17 +years.  She died on her terms, and I know its what she wanted.  I don't think it was cruel.  I don't feel like we caused her undue suffereing... I don't judge others who opt to pick the moment their fur baby dies.  It is the best decision they could make... as was our decision.  Losing our fur babies sucks, no matter how it happens... you just have to do what brings you the most peace in your heart.

Hi LadyMaryme.Your kitty is beautiful.Tuxedo like my angel Maxwell.Here is a list of possible financial help to those with kitties having life threatening illnesses.Some including cancers.Always worth a try as all they can say is no.We all know the huge amount of money it takes to get proper help but also have been there without a diagnosis & still paying one way or the other I hope it might help you & your kitty.or anyone else here at this group that is dealing with what we can all relate to financial situations that yes can make us to  turn to street work.I have had to make that decision a lot of times in my life.Having regrets later I think is just part of the grieving process.You will know when.He will tell you in his own way.Hugs Honey.C

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http://Financial help For pet Owners with a Pet with a life threatening Illness/injury

http://www.imom.org/

http://www.fveap.org/

http://www.fveap.org/sys-tmpl/door/

http://www.fveap.org/sys-tmpl/door/

http://www.carecredit.com/

http://www.carecredit.com/patients/whatis.htm

http://www.help-a-pet.org/home.html

MomofMaxwell said:

Hi LadyMaryme.Your kitty is beautiful.Tuxedo like my angel Maxwell. Here is a list of possible financial help to those with kitties having life threatening illnesses.Some including cancers.Always worth a try as all they can say is no.We all know the huge amount of money it takes to get proper help but also have been there without a diagnosis & still paying one way or the other I hope it might help you & your kitty.or anyone else here at this group that is dealing with what we can all relate to financial situations...

Click to expand...

Hi "MoM"... Your Maxwell must've been beautiful! I've only seen a few tuxedos, one was the brother to my Milo that my sister 'adopted' from me and they looked like twins. He developed facial tumors, eventually becoming severe. I was with my sister the day he went to kitty heaven at only seven years old. They'll be together again. Are you still blessed by having Maxwell with you? I thank you from the bottom of my heart for the links for financial help. If they include student loan debt, I'm sure I hope (think) I could qualify for at least some help. I just noticed bright red blood this morning in the stool of Milo's mom, Ms Kibbywibbles. If she needs more than basic testing, I'll be in trouble. Years ago when I posted on a cat advice forum about my last furbaby, asking about feline leukemia and the then new treatment, Interferon(?) and I asked about costs. The two replies I received both said if I couldn't afford my cat's treatment, I shouldn't have gotten her. Well, all my cats have been/are strays that others refused to help and they're costly, like it or not. I have five still living- the youngest being 11 that adopted me (aka I kidnapped her from my neighbor for her safety) at 3 months old after his d@mn dog mauled my kitty's sibling to death on my back porch. I'll never forget it. So, excuse me, Your Royal Hineys of the Feline Forum World, but my funds are tight bc I didn't have my nine cats when I started college, and I couldn't turn my back on them after I did. I felt shamed and believed them at the time. And my feline leuk cat lived a long, healthy life until the very end, even without their advice. You're right- we all do our best.

I'm rambling and I apologize to anyone who has actually read this far. I didn't go to bed last night and I'm a bigger mess after seeing pics earlier today, that I'd taken of Milo early this AM. His stomach is sunk in. I decided to go to our regular vet and ask him for his best educated guess, then end my baby's suffering and let him join his brother and other family and friends on the other side of rainbow bridge. "Go with me on difficult journeys," and I will at 4pm tomorrow; I'm sure my vet will say he's suffering.

Working in the human medical field, I know sometimes there just aren't any answers, no matter how hard we look, tests ordered, or money spent. Ifor my Milo were a human, I'd guess his diagnosis was undetected colon cancer. Nothing else makes sense to me, but it doesn't have to. I'd like my vet's hypothesis, as well. Milo has improved today but he has been so sick for far too long. The photos I post are from today and I think he's been through enough and looks severely malnurished. I will go with Milo on the difficult journey tomorrow to our trusted vet of nine years, who will light candles to help with Milo's transition into the spirit world. I've been hopeful but in denial, selfishly hoping something, anything, would magically cure him, while he has slowly been starving to death. I waited too long, once again, to help my cat end his suffering. We had a great time together, though, until earlier this year. I apologize again for my rambling. It's been nice to share tho, even if no one read it!

I'm glad I decided to give cat forums another try because you all have been so caring and helped me reach my final decision. I always tell my cats, and him... "I love you more, Milo!" You all have been so invaluable to me today!

One more sad Milo pic, so others will understand my final decision is for no other reason than I love him so much

It appears to be malabsorption to me, due to his fur appearance and obvious diarrhea gone on for so long.

Have they treated him for intestinal parasites despite the clean results too?

His lethargy is due to dehydration, and his grouchiness to his sister is because he isn't feeling well.

I wish you luck, it's hard to give up on them, always thinking what if.......

15 is not old to me.

Number 10 of 'The Pets 10 Commandments:'

On the ultimate difficult journey, go with me please. Never say you can’t bear to watch. Don’t make me face this alone. Everything is easier for me if you are there, because I love you so.

I'm broken.