Years Later, Questions Left Unanswered About Cat's Death

icoele

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In 2011, I went through a horrible experience, though it hit my mom especially hard. I was only 11 at the time and I don't have much memory but here's what I can remember:

In February 2009, our cat, Mocha, age 15, passed away following a battle with cancer. During her last days she began to pee blood and when we managed to get her to the vet they said it would be most humane to euthanize her. We did. I remember that I went to the vet with my mom. I stayed strong and cried only a little, but my mom, who had Mocha since she had found her as a stray kitten along with Java, sobbed endlessly. We bought a book called Cat Heaven which we still have today and, though I am agnostic, read each time I feel sad about my 
 kitties. Java wasn't the same after we lost Mocha. They had grown up together and were inseparable. Java became less playful (though she never was, she was more of a "leave me alone" type of cat) but wanted more attention, and would keep us awake for hours during the night, meowing. I will never forget her meow, which basically rang "Mocha? Where are you? Mocha?" 

Though I was too young to have the date cemented in my brain, I remember it was a day in 2011 and I had my friend and neighbor Kiera over. Our litterboxes are in the basement, which is so dirty and cluttered we don't allow our guests down into it. I had to get something and I went down the staircase to see a horrid sight. Java was laying in a pool of yellowish fluids, her fur soaked, and her entire belly looked somewhat deflated. I screamed for my mother and in our hearts we both knew it was the end. We grabbed the same blanket we used for Mocha's drive to the emergency vet and my mother loaded Java into the car in her arms, and I stayed home since I had a friend over.

Java didn't come home that day.

It struck me very hard when we lost Java. What made it so horrible was that we never even got any answers as to what happened. She was a domestic short hair, lovely blue, and had every aspect of a Russian Blue, though I know the odds of a stray russian blue kitten are little to none. During the early 2000s, probably 1999-2000, Java escaped for 6 months. Yes, 6 months. She attacked my mother when she came back, as she had been away from humans for so long, but she was returned to normal quickly. I have recently read up on FIP, specifically wet, but I don't understand any of it. Does anyone have any idea what could have taken Java from us so suddenly?

Thank you for reading. If you have any similar stories, happy outcome or not, please feel free to share.

Hopefully I will be able to upload pictures soon.
 

mollyblue

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I'm sorry for the loss of your kitty.  I am sorry I don't have any experience with FIP.  I just thought I would give you a bump and maybe someone will be along to answer soon.

Even with answers, losing our fur babies is hard... just try to remember the good times you had with them.  Whats done is done.  
 
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icoele

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Hi and thanks for the condolences. I agree, getting answers won't heal the hole and it's a hole that will really always remain, but it can definitely help lessen guilt. Knowing it wasn't your fault can help your mind heal more than thinking you caused the death for the rest of your life. Of course, if the hole was gone so would be our memories so I'm partially glad it can't be forgotten, right? It's important to remember our babies!
 

mollyblue

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It is important to remember our babies.. they teach us so MUCH... but you can't blame yourself.  From what I understand, you were a child, and you loved these cats as best as you could.  Sometimes we learn from our mistakes and we do better next time, and in the future, if you have cats as an adult, perhaps you will have learned that regular vet care, even if your animal doesn't appear to be sick, is important.  It doesn't mean you didn't do your best for Mocha and Java.  15 is a pretty good life... My poor Alex made it 17 years, and I knew nothing about raising cats... we wanted a kitten and we got one.  We put out a great big bowl of dried kibble and refilled it when it got empty.  We dumped the litter pan when it stank and we cuddled the kitties every chance we got.  Boy have I learned a lot since then!  But even the members here who give their cats the very best care, healthy food, regular vet visits, lab work, expensive tests, medications, tube feedings... we all end up feeling like we should have done more... wondering if a different treatment would have a different outcome... death of a loved one, furry or otherwise, is always hard.
 
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icoele

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mollyblue

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Aw, those are sweet... I like the one where you are petting her and she is rubbing on your knee.
 
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