Ethics of Cremation

 I figured I'd post this here. If it needs to be moved, my apologies. Anyway, I thought I'd share what I've just recently discovered about pet cremation. My baby boy Dick passed away a week ago today. I paid (or at least I thought I paid) for him to be shipped off, cremated, and returned to me in an urn. The vet failed to send Dick's body this week to the crematorium ("clerical error + they tried to bill me to have tests sent out, posthumously), so his body was "on hold", which was unbeknownst to me all week until I called and inquired. Thankfully someone told me that I should have a private service cremate him vs. the vet, because here's what this particular vet's office does (which I verified):

 All deceased animals are held until each Friday, at which time they are shipped off together, cremated en mass (for the vet hospital to save money), and the ashes are divided up based on how many animals were in the "order", and then given back to the owners. It's a nice little disgusting racket: Vet charges $100 plus for the service, 20+ animals per week per "order", crematorium charges a nominal fee for ONE cremation, Vet's office makes a nice profit for essentially nothing.....grieving owners receive ashes of many different animals and are none the wiser. Beautiful, huh?

 Luckily the emergency vet's incompetence in my case bought me some time so that I could hire out a private cremation service who understands the sensitive nature of all of this and the fact that I want to have MY cat's ashes and ONLY my cat's ashes brought back to me. Fee was $250, which includes everything. Just wanted to give everyone here a heads up for what it's worth, because apparently this shady practice is VERY pervasive in the "industry".........That's what I was told, anyway.   

I don't know whether you could call it shady, because it's a pretty well-known practice. The vet's office should have informed you of your options, i.e., private single-pet cremation or communal cremation, and their respective costs.

I think 100 is a little high for a mass cremation.  When we had Alex cremated, we were explained the differences.  My daughter paid the extra to have Alex a private cremation, we received a nice urn, a paw print in clay, and something else, but I can't recall what now.  I think for the  mass cremation it was only around 40.  When I worked part time at a convenience store, we would have people dump their dead animals  in our trash bins.  Very sad.

 I know it sounds terrible, and I know I would be upset too, I'm going to ask my vet how they go about their cremations. The only thing I can think of is to say ignorance is bliss, the remains are a shell of what our dear ones were, their 'essence' is what we knew and loved and that is something that death can never take away from us. That and our memories. What is done after death does not affect who they were before, and how we will remember them and the bond we have with them.  My heart goes out to you, but remember, the ashes are not who they truly were.

jcat said:

I don't know whether you could call it shady, because it's a pretty well-known practice. The vet's office should have informed you of your options, i.e., private single-pet cremation or communal cremation, and their respective costs.

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 They did inform me of my options: Free cremation where I would receive nothing, and "single pet", which I would pay for and receive ashes. I chose the latter, and later found out the practices of the crematorium and the vet. The ashes I would've received would've been ashes of many different animals, mixed together. Honoring the dead, human or otherwise, is part of the grieving process, and in my case.....very important. I wanted Dick's ashes. Not the ashes of anyone else. Thankfully I caught it in time and his body was picked up today by the private contractor, to be cremated alone. 

 If you had a 13 year old child die and chose to have he/she cremated, would you want the ashes of a bunch of different people in an urn? To me there's absolutely no difference here.

cuvmoi said:

 
 They did inform me of my options: Free cremation where I would receive nothing, and "single pet", which I would pay for and receive ashes. I chose the latter, and later found out the practices of the crematorium and the vet. The ashes I would've received would've been ashes of many different animals, mixed together. Honoring the dead, human or otherwise, is part of the grieving process, and in my case.....very important. I wanted Dick's ashes. Not the ashes of anyone else. Thankfully I caught it in time and his body was picked up today by the private contractor, to be cremated alone. 

 If you had a 13 year old child die and chose to have he/she cremated, would you want the ashes of a bunch of different people in an urn? To me there's absolutely no difference here.

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I agree with you 100%. If someone asks for a single pet cremation then that is what they should get as that is what they are paying for.

Yes, I agree that the body is a vessel. HOWEVER, the person who is arranging and paying for the handling of that vessel should have their wishes respected to the letter. The fact that it is an animal and not a human is not only irrelevant it's insulting to the people who loved that animal. Vets should be held to a higher ethical standard than that. They of all people should know how much an animal means to his/her family and be sensitive to that.

I'm also thankful that you were able to catch things in time. Please accept my condolences on the loss of your beloved kitty.

I too had my beloved baby cremated in Jan.  I was supposed to get only his ashes back. I knew that they kept them in the freezer because we have to do that at the shelter.  Sure wish there was a way to find out if I just got any ashes back!  I guess it does not really matter but I would feel better if they were just him.

As unpleasant as it is everyone who has a pet they wish to have cremated needs to have a short list of places you can take or have your pet transported to.

Kitten will be cremated someday. She abhors dirt and has never been outside. I can think of no crueler end or disrespect than to put her in the ground. The total cost for a truly private cremation with memorial package less a better urn is about 500$

Communal cremation involves more than one animal and but they are all individually placed and identified. Realistically you will have crossover ash from this but you should receive your pet back.

Communal is simply all animals cremated en mass and the ashes divided up.

Understand that if you opt for a pet cemetery they are not protected. If they go out of business or are sold you pet will not be reinterred somewhere else.

You can readily buy kits online to take your pets paw print and nose print and make your own memorial box while they are living young and healthy.

If you feel this vet has misrepresented her services which should have at the very least a receipt guaranteeing what you were supposed to receive turn her in. Preying on the grief of pet owners is about as low as you can get.

I'm so sorry for your loss and that you had to deal with something so terrible while in the process of grieving for your loved one.

Hopefully, it's just your vet that does this, as that is just horrible. I just had to euthanize my kitty after 12 years together (over half my life) on Tuesday, and they were very kind and open about the cremation options. The receptionist, tech, and even Jasmine's vet herself triple checked on what option I wanted, and specified how I would only receive her ashes back. I don't know if her ashes will come in an urn or when I go get them (didn't ask), but I have 100% confidence that they were being honest about the cremation process for people who specify they only want their companions ashes and for it not be communal. It was $200 for her to be euthanized (they inserted a catheter first, gave her something to make her sleepy and calm, and then gave her the blue stuff-didn't sedate her before doing the catheter, as her vet said it can sometimes cause more stress to some cats and Jasmine always did fine with them) and the separate cremation. 

I'm very happy that you were able to catch them in time before a tragic event took place. Thank you for sharing your experience to warn others. 

I know here that is fairly commonplace. But all the vets around here tell you first. They definitely have an obligation to tell you. I personally am not opposed to group cremation and would love to honor many lost pets in addition to my own (especially since many people choose not to have the ashes returned to them). But I would say that everyone has the right to their own mourning. They definitely should be told what they are paying for. 

So sorry for your loss. I'm glad you got to have him cremated as you wished.

cuvmoi said:

 
 I figured I'd post this here. If it needs to be moved, my apologies. Anyway, I thought I'd share what I've just recently discovered about pet cremation. My baby boy Dick passed away a week ago today. I paid (or at least I thought I paid) for him to be shipped off, cremated, and returned to me in an urn. The vet failed to send Dick's body this week to the crematorium ("clerical error + they tried to bill me to have tests sent out, posthumously), so his body was "on hold", which was unbeknownst to me all week until I called and inquired. Thankfully someone told me that I should have a private service cremate him vs. the vet, because here's what this particular vet's office does (which I verified):

 All deceased animals are held until each Friday, at which time they are shipped off together, cremated en mass (for the vet hospital to save money), and the ashes are divided up based on how many animals were in the "order", and then given back to the owners. It's a nice little disgusting racket: Vet charges $100 plus for the service, 20+ animals per week per "order", crematorium charges a nominal fee for ONE cremation, Vet's office makes a nice profit for essentially nothing.....grieving owners receive ashes of many different animals and are none the wiser. Beautiful, huh?

 Luckily the emergency vet's incompetence in my case bought me some time so that I could hire out a private cremation service who understands the sensitive nature of all of this and the fact that I want to have MY cat's ashes and ONLY my cat's ashes brought back to me. Fee was $250, which includes everything. Just wanted to give everyone here a heads up for what it's worth, because apparently this shady practice is VERY pervasive in the "industry".........That's what I was told, anyway.   

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OMG I have never heard of this mass cremation.   That's just wrong on so many levels.  The vet should have told you this beforehand.  This makes me wonder too how humans are cremated.  I've heard terrible stories about certain funeral homes who just dump human bodies in a mass grave somewhere and then who knows what they put in the urns you buy from them.  I hope this isn't true of most crematories.  Both my parents were cremated.  I've now had 3 pets cremated, but in each of my pets cases I went with them and watched them go in to the crematory.  I got the ashes back either that day or the next day.  This is a horrible thing to do to people who are grieving.  I'm so sorry!

cuvmoi said:

 
 They did inform me of my options: Free cremation where I would receive nothing, and "single pet", which I would pay for and receive ashes. I chose the latter, and later found out the practices of the crematorium and the vet. The ashes I would've received would've been ashes of many different animals, mixed together. Honoring the dead, human or otherwise, is part of the grieving process, and in my case.....very important. I wanted Dick's ashes. Not the ashes of anyone else. Thankfully I caught it in time and his body was picked up today by the private contractor, to be cremated alone. 

 If you had a 13 year old child die and chose to have he/she cremated, would you want the ashes of a bunch of different people in an urn? To me there's absolutely no difference here.

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I completely agree.  I'm so sorry you had to go through this, as if grieving your dear pet is not enough already.  

Kittens Mom said:

 
As unpleasant as it is everyone who has a pet they wish to have cremated needs to have a short list of places you can take or have your pet transported to.

Kitten will be cremated someday. She abhors dirt and has never been outside. I can think of no crueler end or disrespect than to put her in the ground. The total cost for a truly private cremation with memorial package less a better urn is about 500$

Communal cremation involves more than one animal and but they are all individually placed and identified. Realistically you will have crossover ash from this but you should receive your pet back.

Communal is simply all animals cremated en mass and the ashes divided up.

Understand that if you opt for a pet cemetery they are not protected. If they go out of business or are sold you pet will not be reinterred somewhere else.

You can readily buy kits online to take your pets paw print and nose print and make your own memorial box while they are living young and healthy.

If you feel this vet has misrepresented her services which should have at the very least a receipt guaranteeing what you were supposed to receive turn her in. Preying on the grief of pet owners is about as low as you can get.

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Couldn't agree with you more @Kittens Mom!  Preying on the grief of pet owners is so low.  I wish I had known about those paw print and nose print kits you can get online.  :'(  But even so, thank you for all the information you gave!  

My mom's kitty Cissy had never been outside either.  When she died, my sister's husband wanted to bury her in their back yard.  Mother agreed only because she was in shock.  Then as the day went on she realized that was a mistake. So then she paid to have Cissy's body taken and cremated and Cissy ashes were buried with my mom last year. 

Ginny said:

 
OMG I have never heard of this mass cremation.   That's just wrong on so many levels.  The vet should have told you this beforehand.  This makes me wonder too how humans are cremated.  I've heard terrible stories about certain funeral homes who just dump human bodies in a mass grave somewhere and then who knows what they put in the urns you buy from them.  I hope this isn't true of most crematories.  Both my parents were cremated.  I've now had 3 pets cremated, but in each of my pets cases I went with them and watched them go in to the crematory.  I got the ashes back either that day or the next day.  This is a horrible thing to do to people who are grieving.  I'm so sorry!

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Unfortunately there are no regulations to this. At least not in my state. On a side note, on the night that Dick died, this same emergency vet's office told me that I was not permitted to take him home with me, and that my only options were either euthanasia or a long-term hospitalization resulting in possibly tens of thousands of dollars. I asked "you just drained the chlye from his chest like you did two nights ago. Can't I just take him home with me and take him to a regular vet tomorrow?" The vet said "no. Not in his condition. You don't have that option". When I expressed to her that it would be difficult for me to pay for a long term hospitalization, she told me that really the only thing to do was to euthanize him. A few days later, I spoke with a former vet assistant who told me that I was completely within my right to take him out of there that night, and to seek more conventional, less costly treatment. She also told me that the standard practice for Chylothorax was to send the cat home with a chest tube and let the fluid continually drain until the test results were back so as to discover the cause of the fluid. This vet took advantage of me, and basically committed fraud. If I could go back in time to that moment, I'd take him out of there and knock over anyone who tried to stop me, male or female. It was fraud. Plain and simple. I consulted an attorney who agreed with me, but I'm not going to sue them. Instead, I'm going to consult with a couple of vets and have them write letters to the veterinarian board in my state. I plan on exposing this company and hurting them. If I can get enough vets on my side (I already now have several), I will go to the media as  well. 

cuvmoi said:

 
Unfortunately there are no regulations to this. At least not in my state. On a side note, on the night that Dick died, this same emergency vet's office told me that I was not permitted to take him home with me, and that my only options were either euthanasia or a long-term hospitalization resulting in possibly tens of thousands of dollars. I asked "you just drained the chlye from his chest like you did two nights ago. Can't I just take him home with me and take him to a regular vet tomorrow?" The vet said "no. Not in his condition. You don't have that option". When I expressed to her that it would be difficult for me to pay for a long term hospitalization, she told me that really the only thing to do was to euthanize him. A few days later, I spoke with a former vet assistant who told me that I was completely within my right to take him out of there that night, and to seek more conventional, less costly treatment. She also told me that the standard practice for Chylothorax was to send the cat home with a chest tube and let the fluid continually drain until the test results were back so as to discover the cause of the fluid. This vet took advantage of me, and basically committed fraud. If I could go back in time to that moment, I'd take him out of there and knock over anyone who tried to stop me, male or female. It was fraud. Plain and simple. I consulted an attorney who agreed with me, but I'm not going to sue them. Instead, I'm going to consult with a couple of vets and have them write letters to the veterinarian board in my state. I plan on exposing this company and hurting them. If I can get enough vets on my side (I already now have several), I will go to the media as  well. 

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GOOD FOR YOU!!!  I hope you do expose such unethical treatment by Vets/vet staff of patient's and their families!!  That was so uncalled for.  I hate that they took advantage of you in such a desperate situation like that.  I hope karma gets them.  I believe this kind of thing happens much more often than we know.  I was sitting in the waiting room of the ER several months ago with Gracie.  A friend of mine went with me.  I had to go to the bathroom at some point.  While I was gone, there was a conversation that took place at the front desk that my friend heard.  Someone had called in asking about options regarding euthanasia.  I can imagine that the person on the other end of the phone was probably upset.  Yet my friend only heard the curt, cold comments made by the office staffer who answered the phone.  She finished with "well you have no other options, good luck!"  That was so uncalled for.  See why I'm having such a hard time finding a vet? This is how they act at our only ER.  I am looking for both a vet and staff to be kind/caring/knowlegeable human beings, not automatons, and I'm not having such good luck.  

Years ago when I sent Sammy in for a biopsy of a growth on his paw, I called in that afternoon to see how he was doing.  A rude staffer answered saying the surgery would soon be done and that Sammy would spend the night there so the doctor would see him the next morning.  I asked who would be with Sammy all night.  She said no one.  I said I'll come get him.  At that point she threatened me that that's how things have to be done or else the biopsy would not be done.  I relented.  JERK!  I never went back.  Sammy was diagnosed with cancer and was told they didn't get it all and that he would likely die within a year.  He lived 3 more years with NO further complications with his paw.  They were wrong.  

I also do not like the fact that vets take my pet away from me to another room to examine him or her.  I'm sure that if I challenged that practice, I would be told to hit the road.  So much abuse from unethical vets and their staff.  Some just seem to enjoy railroading pet owners and taking advantage of situations where we are scared for our pets and will agree to almost anything.  If I were a vet and I had staff that acted the way I and others have been treated, I would fire them on the spot.  Moreover, I would take care to hire the right people to start with.  Sorry but this is a real bone of contention with me, after having had 4 separate useless ER visits this year alone and having been to several different vets in search of someone whom I can trust.  All I got from these visits is poorer.  No answers.