Should I re-introduce my resident and new kitten (play escalates on a daily basis)?

I've posted here a few times about my two kittens, Pia (resident) and Oliver (new). Pia is now about 6.5 months and Oliver is 4 months. Both were adopted at 10 weeks. We had Pia for about two and a half months on her own and we've now had both kittens for two months. I'm a bit worried about their interactions and am wondering if a re-introduction is necessary. Looking back, the initial introduction may have happened too fast, which I think has affected their relationship now. 

I'll start with what seem to be the positives:

- Both kittens are extremely affectionate with us and are confident and social

- They eat all their meals within inches of each other with no problems and will often switch back and forth between their bowls

- They share two litter boxes with no problems

- They are totally comfortable sleeping and grooming in the same room and are getting better at playing in the same room (i.e. when we play with them with two wand toys

- They are almost always in the same room (whatever room we happen to be in) and when we come homme after having been away, they are usually both in the cat tower or will run to the door from the same direction so we assume they've been in the same room

- Every now and then Pia will groom Oliver, usually when he's sleeping. He never grooms her back and the grooming usually ends in a fight

- They'll often explore new things together and there are times when I'm definitely sure they are playing (chasing each other through the house taking turns in the role of the chaser and the chasee, batting at each other from this book case they like to play in, play wrestling)

- They both sleep in our bed with us at night but not side by side and this is often the site of their fights unless both are tired or nearly asleep

- I never hear any hissing or growling, even when their play "fights" escalate

- Play, pouncing, chasing, etc. all seems mutual - they seem to initiate almost equally. 

Unfortunately, there are a few negatives that make me wonder whether they need to be reintroduced:

- Their play "figthing" (or perhaps it's real fighting?) gets very aggressive on a daily basis. Whenever Oliver initiates, which is often, it nearly always ends in Pia yelping and getting frustrated and running away from him (never for long, they usually end up back in the same room ). I don't think he's hurting her since sometimes she'll yelp even when he just bats her once - I think it's more of a leave me alone type thing. On the other hand, whenever she initiates play, she is always silent.

- Their body language doesn't look positive - usually one or both have their ears back, tails wagging, etc. 

- Sometimes his actions seem like he may be bullying her - there have been a couple of times when he's pounced on her in order to get a toy that she's playing with or to take a spot that she's in

- They never really cuddle (it's happened maybe a couple of times and only when they both want to be in the same spot)

This is it in a nutshell. I don't know if we should re-introduce to stop the daily fights and if so at what stage. When we do close one or another in a separate room the other one is always at the door batting underneath so I definitely think we are beyond that stage. 

We have a feliway plug in, both are fixed, and we play with each individually about 30 mins a day at least. 

Any advice on how to reduce the aggressive fighting would be appreciated. 

Anyone w multi cat households with advice on what's normal/not normal with two cats? This is the first time I've had more than one and I just want to make sure they are both happy and healthy.

To me, it sounds like they're pretty well integrated. It's natural that there'll be a buy of jockeying for position at this age, and it's equally natural that Pia doesn't always feel like playing when Oliver does.

Not all cats cuddle - its a lovely bonus if they do, but it's not something to get worked up about. I had a pair of brothers who'd always been together, and they never cuddled once they were out of the very young kitten stage. They got on just fine, but spent most of their time apart (except for a big wrestling match most evenings).

Remember that part of play is learning boundaries. Pia, as the older of the two, will naturally be putting Oliver in his place from time to time.

In short - it sounds like everything's great in their world, and you have now reason to worry. Relax and enjoy!

Thank you! I know I've posted here a lot since getting both but am feeling very reassured . Especially after this from this weekend:

I would say no reintroductions necessary! These play fights are normal and can get aggressive at times from what we have seen. We have six babies!

Dear PiaKay

Sounds like you are reassured which is good!  I wanted to post a reply as I am in a very very similar situation to you!  Your Pia and Oliver have a similar age gap to my two - Tinkerbell resident female (4.5 months) and Shadowfax male (3.5 months).

We had a very challenging month or so when we first introduced them slowly as Tinkerbell would hiss and growl at him loads, and gradually she has got used to him and we had a breakthrough a couple of weeks ago when they mutually groomed each other and slept in same bed.  

I would say that Shadow is similar to Oliver in that he is much more enthusiastic and wants to play always and in Tinkers' face all the time whereas she loves to play but also wants some quiet time!  We were very worried at first as she seemed to bite him and he'd yelp but she wouldn't let go!  Tinkers also had a bit of a scratch wound which crusted over on back of her neck and we did check their skin for signs of any more injuries but they were mostly fine.  It's hard, we observed a few times very carefully to see whether they were always using their claws, and once I got in the way of Tinks going for a play bite at Shadow and realised it was a very gentle bite.  So I am reassured.  

I found that Tinkers often had her ears back when wrestling, and they both have very waggy tails when play fighting.  Waggy tails can mean a lot of things, anger, but also playful, and excitement.  

Are you leaving Pia and Oliver alone at all?  We are not at the moment when we're out.  just because they aren't spayed/neutered yet.  

I had the same thoughts about Shadowfax - that he would be bullying her, as in push her out of the way when she is playing with a toy, and she would just let him and walk away.  When she is settled on a bed nice and comfy, he would pounce on her and start wrestling, so she would get up and walk off and then he would settle in the nice warm bed!  He basically follows her everywhere and I think it's mostly because he adores her!  and he is slightly younger therefore more excitable.  I just monitor it and make sure he is not always full-on annoying her for ages otherwise I sometimes put them in separate rooms for a timeout so she can get some peace.

Difference with yours is that they will both groom each other and it seems mostly that they argue over who grooms who - read that it is a dominance thing and the one who wins i.e. gets to do the grooming, is dominating the other.  Yes a lot of the time it ends in play biting and wrestling!

Good luck with yours, I agree with the general consensus that they seem to be getting along mostly and will have some more jostling for position to do!  By the way Pia and Oliver are gorgeous - love the pics! x

Thanks for the response Alic23! Nice to hear others having similar experiences. Mine bite quite a lot when playing but they don't seem to be hard bites (I hope!). I've yet to notice any kind of scratch on either cat.

Sometimes if Oliver is being too aggressive with Pia I just clap loudly and that usually solves the problem. If I can tell he's about to get too aggressive I distract him w a toy.

We started leaving our two alone together quite early on. Maybe only after two weeks or so. Both were fixed at 10 weeks though so no risk of any accidents!

Good luck with your two as well .