- Joined
- Oct 8, 2015
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For reference, I live in a 2 bedroom 900sqft apartment, but we only have one litterbox (in the bathroom). Besides the bathroom and bedrooms, there are no doors nor easier "partitioned" areas. We would like to avoid having to buy a dog crate if possible.
I recently got a "surprise" kitten (one that we weren't expecting, but didn't want to live without if we can avoid it. Sometimes they just pick you and you're stuck going "okay little one") that's a spayed female about three and a half, four months old. The kitten will function as a mental health companion for my fiancee (and hopefully our roommate as well). It was fostered in a multi-cat house, and previously in life had a broken femur (she's a climber) that's all healed up now. This one is Kajha.
Only problem is, I already had an adult (5 years and change) spayed female cat, Ana. She was raised with her siblings indoors until about six months, then was outdoors for about two and a half years. In the first couple of months as an outside cat, non-sibling cats interacted with her siblings and the siblings ended up "turning" on her (she got bullied a bit, particularly around food, but there would be long periods of time where they all got along... it was primarily a "queen bee" spayed female cat who instigated the aggression in the three males of the "group"). She would often spend time just chilling on the roof to avoid them, but like I said, would also have peaceful happy times with the group. After the two and a half years, she was flown from Texas to Oregon (very traumatic at first, but she's happily been a Pac NW kitty for almost two years now!) and been an only cat, always indoors (we're apartment dwellers)
I had conflicting information originally on introducing a new kitten, and now I'm afraid that between her history (which I had forgotten about the bullying) and a probably inappropriate initial meeting may have ruined their chances.
Day 1 kitten was brought home in the carrier (which Ana hates because of the flight and associates with stress) and they were allowed to see each other through the carrier in the living room near an area Ana likes but not in her favorite spot. Ana hissed and backed away from very serverely. We comforted Ana, gave some treats, ignored the kitten. We acted like the kitten wasn't there and were just normal. Eventually the hissing stopped, but Ana remained tense. After about twenty minutes of her being quietly wary of the kitten, we moved to the neutral area bedroom. A few hisses post move, but alright. So following the (I realize now, probably terrible) advice I received, we let the kitten out on one side of the room and kept Ana in my lap (I'm the primary "mommy"). Eventually, Ana was warily quiet in my lap, but would hiss if the kitten approached. All this time, the kitten did not hiss back and would give Ana space/back away from her. The kitten seemed concerned and interested in her new sister.
We began to separate the kitten into the bathroom OR Ana into the more neutral of the bedrooms, alternating who got to roam the apartment and who got to be in a room by themselves. Ana would freak out if she sensed the kitten on the other side of a door, but would merely hiss and occasional "spaz" away from the door (leaps, flips, generally retreating). We continued treats and food through out the day for the older cat. Late that afternoon, after reading some advice about "sudden" introductions (some of which was from others on this site!
Thanks! ) I just let all doors be open and both cats to roam. Ana eventually settled into her favorite living room spot, but was SO defensive. She pressed up against furniture and would hiss if she made eye contact with Kajha, and moan just periodically. Kajha would always retreat but remained desirous for friendly contact. They both eventually fell asleep, Kajha on the couch and Ana in her "safe" spot.
Upon waking though, Ana was hissing and spitting a little. We alternated room separations again for the rest of the day, and put Kajha in the carrier over night. We covered the carrier and let Ana roam. She slinked low to the ground and "hunted" for the kitten, being fearful of every inch of the apartment. When she "found" her in the carrier (which was left in a neutral place in the living room) she laid down about two feet away to hiss unhappily. Ana initially was reclusive that night from me, when she's normally a mommy's girl in the bedroom, but eventually came to sleep by me in the night and stayed there.
Day 2 was fairly similar, in that we kept them segregated in the different rooms except for 2 instances. One in the morning, where my fiancee had the kitten on her lap on the couch and Ana roaming... it was fine, until eye contact, then Ana began hissing. Kajha had been trying to get my fiancee to play (she was wanting to cuddle) and Kajha began to growl. Fiancee is unsure if it was because of play desires, or because of Ana's behavior. That evening, a similar event happened where I had the kitten and we were trying to swap who was free to roam and who was in "their" room, and they locked eyes. Ana hissed... and Kajha definitely growled. I am thinking it has escalated from "sister why don't you like me" to "I don't like how mean you are being to me" for the baby. We kept the kitten in the carrier over night again and let Ana be free. She did not sleep with me at all to my knowledge and remained primarily in the neutral bedroom with our roommate.
One incident that most concerned me is that when Kajha was in the bathroom near the door, I gave Ana some treats. She was eating them and purring, then noticed the kitten and slapped at the door (I think possibly with claws). She finished the treats then retreated. I'm worried about possible food aggression/some kitty PTSD maybe?
Today is Day 3, and she would not cuddle with me or my fiancee (which is especially out of character, because Ana's favorite thing is being near both mommies at the same time, omg guys, so great). For the last 4 hours, she has been sulking under the bed in our bedroom, something she hasn't done since she adjusted to the move except for when there's a stranger in the house who is too loud. At one point, after smelling the kitten on my palm, she hissed briefly at me and turned away, refusing to be pet. A few minutes later, she let me pet her again.
Ana is almost refusing comfort and affection, even when the kitten is "out of sight, out of mind", very sulky, and almost ignored her scratch disc (the best thing in the house) because of tension/the kitten's smell being near it. We have kept a new toy she finally responds well to completely separate from the kitten for her, and she'll play a bit with that even when she's mega tense. She refuses to be held for the most part, even in the kitchen (which is the MOMMY PLEASE LOVE ME AND HOLD ME) room, and she panics anywhere near our couch. She's stayed as close to the ground as possible and has ignored her perch/cat structure.
I know a new baby is stressful, this introduction has been far from perfect, and she's going to be stressed for a while, but I can not emphasize enough how strange Ana's behavior is for her (We always joke because of how affection needy she is and her behavior around it, she's more like a dog), even for a stressed Ana. At her most upset after the flight, she CLUNG to us, rather than rejected us. Is there any tips I can get for mitigating her stress or getting her to accept comfort? She's not much food motivated, and she's never cared much for nip. We are keeping our personal bedroom off-limits for the kitten (which feels so mean for Kajha, keeping her in the carrier overnight), and hoping that will keep some semblance of "safe"/"normal" for Ana... but were hoping to be able to let Kajha roam, at the very least at night, this weekend while all three humans can be around to supervise. I am nervous about how much the couch is now a stress trigger even when she's "confirmed" the kitten is put away.
On a positive note, as long as they aren't sharing the bathroom, it seems both of them can/will share the litterbox. Ana has had no bathroom/soiling behaviors so far and hasn't shown aggression or hissed at the litterbox even when she could smell the kitten. Using an old sock covered with the kitten's scent, she'll just sniff it intensely. She'll come sniff the empty carrier, but maybe once every four times she does that she reflexively hisses at it as she approaches (I think she's still expecting the kitten to be inside).
Have I ruined any future odds that they'll get along? Is this reasonable stress? Are there any particular tips anyone can give for how to proceed? Am I just an overly anxious cat mom who is overblowing reactions because of fear and guilt? (I am SO worried about my poor Ana's mentality, I can not describe my bond to that cat or how special she is to me)
I recently got a "surprise" kitten (one that we weren't expecting, but didn't want to live without if we can avoid it. Sometimes they just pick you and you're stuck going "okay little one") that's a spayed female about three and a half, four months old. The kitten will function as a mental health companion for my fiancee (and hopefully our roommate as well). It was fostered in a multi-cat house, and previously in life had a broken femur (she's a climber) that's all healed up now. This one is Kajha.
Only problem is, I already had an adult (5 years and change) spayed female cat, Ana. She was raised with her siblings indoors until about six months, then was outdoors for about two and a half years. In the first couple of months as an outside cat, non-sibling cats interacted with her siblings and the siblings ended up "turning" on her (she got bullied a bit, particularly around food, but there would be long periods of time where they all got along... it was primarily a "queen bee" spayed female cat who instigated the aggression in the three males of the "group"). She would often spend time just chilling on the roof to avoid them, but like I said, would also have peaceful happy times with the group. After the two and a half years, she was flown from Texas to Oregon (very traumatic at first, but she's happily been a Pac NW kitty for almost two years now!) and been an only cat, always indoors (we're apartment dwellers)
I had conflicting information originally on introducing a new kitten, and now I'm afraid that between her history (which I had forgotten about the bullying) and a probably inappropriate initial meeting may have ruined their chances.
Day 1 kitten was brought home in the carrier (which Ana hates because of the flight and associates with stress) and they were allowed to see each other through the carrier in the living room near an area Ana likes but not in her favorite spot. Ana hissed and backed away from very serverely. We comforted Ana, gave some treats, ignored the kitten. We acted like the kitten wasn't there and were just normal. Eventually the hissing stopped, but Ana remained tense. After about twenty minutes of her being quietly wary of the kitten, we moved to the neutral area bedroom. A few hisses post move, but alright. So following the (I realize now, probably terrible) advice I received, we let the kitten out on one side of the room and kept Ana in my lap (I'm the primary "mommy"). Eventually, Ana was warily quiet in my lap, but would hiss if the kitten approached. All this time, the kitten did not hiss back and would give Ana space/back away from her. The kitten seemed concerned and interested in her new sister.
We began to separate the kitten into the bathroom OR Ana into the more neutral of the bedrooms, alternating who got to roam the apartment and who got to be in a room by themselves. Ana would freak out if she sensed the kitten on the other side of a door, but would merely hiss and occasional "spaz" away from the door (leaps, flips, generally retreating). We continued treats and food through out the day for the older cat. Late that afternoon, after reading some advice about "sudden" introductions (some of which was from others on this site!
Thanks! ) I just let all doors be open and both cats to roam. Ana eventually settled into her favorite living room spot, but was SO defensive. She pressed up against furniture and would hiss if she made eye contact with Kajha, and moan just periodically. Kajha would always retreat but remained desirous for friendly contact. They both eventually fell asleep, Kajha on the couch and Ana in her "safe" spot.Upon waking though, Ana was hissing and spitting a little. We alternated room separations again for the rest of the day, and put Kajha in the carrier over night. We covered the carrier and let Ana roam. She slinked low to the ground and "hunted" for the kitten, being fearful of every inch of the apartment. When she "found" her in the carrier (which was left in a neutral place in the living room) she laid down about two feet away to hiss unhappily. Ana initially was reclusive that night from me, when she's normally a mommy's girl in the bedroom, but eventually came to sleep by me in the night and stayed there.
Day 2 was fairly similar, in that we kept them segregated in the different rooms except for 2 instances. One in the morning, where my fiancee had the kitten on her lap on the couch and Ana roaming... it was fine, until eye contact, then Ana began hissing. Kajha had been trying to get my fiancee to play (she was wanting to cuddle) and Kajha began to growl. Fiancee is unsure if it was because of play desires, or because of Ana's behavior. That evening, a similar event happened where I had the kitten and we were trying to swap who was free to roam and who was in "their" room, and they locked eyes. Ana hissed... and Kajha definitely growled. I am thinking it has escalated from "sister why don't you like me" to "I don't like how mean you are being to me" for the baby. We kept the kitten in the carrier over night again and let Ana be free. She did not sleep with me at all to my knowledge and remained primarily in the neutral bedroom with our roommate.
One incident that most concerned me is that when Kajha was in the bathroom near the door, I gave Ana some treats. She was eating them and purring, then noticed the kitten and slapped at the door (I think possibly with claws). She finished the treats then retreated. I'm worried about possible food aggression/some kitty PTSD maybe?
Today is Day 3, and she would not cuddle with me or my fiancee (which is especially out of character, because Ana's favorite thing is being near both mommies at the same time, omg guys, so great). For the last 4 hours, she has been sulking under the bed in our bedroom, something she hasn't done since she adjusted to the move except for when there's a stranger in the house who is too loud. At one point, after smelling the kitten on my palm, she hissed briefly at me and turned away, refusing to be pet. A few minutes later, she let me pet her again.
Ana is almost refusing comfort and affection, even when the kitten is "out of sight, out of mind", very sulky, and almost ignored her scratch disc (the best thing in the house) because of tension/the kitten's smell being near it. We have kept a new toy she finally responds well to completely separate from the kitten for her, and she'll play a bit with that even when she's mega tense. She refuses to be held for the most part, even in the kitchen (which is the MOMMY PLEASE LOVE ME AND HOLD ME) room, and she panics anywhere near our couch. She's stayed as close to the ground as possible and has ignored her perch/cat structure.
I know a new baby is stressful, this introduction has been far from perfect, and she's going to be stressed for a while, but I can not emphasize enough how strange Ana's behavior is for her (We always joke because of how affection needy she is and her behavior around it, she's more like a dog), even for a stressed Ana. At her most upset after the flight, she CLUNG to us, rather than rejected us. Is there any tips I can get for mitigating her stress or getting her to accept comfort? She's not much food motivated, and she's never cared much for nip. We are keeping our personal bedroom off-limits for the kitten (which feels so mean for Kajha, keeping her in the carrier overnight), and hoping that will keep some semblance of "safe"/"normal" for Ana... but were hoping to be able to let Kajha roam, at the very least at night, this weekend while all three humans can be around to supervise. I am nervous about how much the couch is now a stress trigger even when she's "confirmed" the kitten is put away.
On a positive note, as long as they aren't sharing the bathroom, it seems both of them can/will share the litterbox. Ana has had no bathroom/soiling behaviors so far and hasn't shown aggression or hissed at the litterbox even when she could smell the kitten. Using an old sock covered with the kitten's scent, she'll just sniff it intensely. She'll come sniff the empty carrier, but maybe once every four times she does that she reflexively hisses at it as she approaches (I think she's still expecting the kitten to be inside).
Have I ruined any future odds that they'll get along? Is this reasonable stress? Are there any particular tips anyone can give for how to proceed? Am I just an overly anxious cat mom who is overblowing reactions because of fear and guilt? (I am SO worried about my poor Ana's mentality, I can not describe my bond to that cat or how special she is to me)
