Help! New cat wreaking havoc.

Hi. I have 2 16-year-old cats and about a month, two at the most, ago brought home a cat that being abandoned at a closing corner store. She's 3.

She goes after one of my cats all the time, and tonight he attacked the other 16 year old - not "play wrassling" like the always do, but serious growling and tumbling. I think she just has two much energy and it's stressing the old guys out, plus she's obviously got an aggressive streak. I think a friend of mine who has 3 younger cats (the oldest is 9) will take her, I just have to make up my mind to do it. Isn't it unfair to make the old guys live with this kind of stress? I hate to put her through another change so soon, but I have to consider them first. All advice appreciated.

Did you do proper cat to cat introductions?  Most of the time just plopping down the new cat and hoping for the best will not result in a positive relationships.  It can take cats weeks to month to many many months to get used to each other.  Your 2 older cats have their territory all set.  The newcomer has disrupted this.  The best course of action is to give the new one a room of his own and slowly start introductions.  If you give the cat to your friend, the same thing must be done.  It can be done it just takes some time and patience.  Yet, the cats need to be separated. 

Also has the new cat been taken to the vet for a clean bill of health before allowing him to be around your other cats?  THis should be a first step.  Also is the new cat neutered?  This can make a huge difference in the behavior.

Here are a few articles and a video to help you out.

http://www.thecatsite.com/a/the-ultimate-yet-simplified-guide-to-introducing-cats

http://www.catbehaviorassociates.com/a-simple-little-trick-to-use-during-new-cat-introductions/

http://www.aspca.org/pet-care/virtual-pet-behaviorist/cat-behavior/introducing-your-cat-new-cat

http://jacksongalaxy.com/2010/10/01/cat-to-cat-introductions/

Shadows, thank you for responding!

Yes, I did the intros just that way. I've intro'd new rescue cats into a household of one or two others and I've always done it the same - give the newcomer their own room for days (she had it for a week), then let them into the rest of the place for a little while a couple of times each day, and then let them co-live if it seems peaceful enough. The thing is, I've always had boys close in age (neutered) and it's never taken them more than 5 days to be best buds. She's a spayed female. (I did have her thoroughly checked by the vet and she got a clean bill of health.) I can't  keep her in the bedroom all the time anymore  because that has the big sunny windows and the tree to look at that the cats love. I work part of the month at home, and part at the office, and when I go into the office all day I leave her in the bedroom again.

A friend of mine who has a young female cat may take her. It's a no-win situation for me. If she goes, I feel like I let her down; if she stays, I feel like I'm ruining the final years of my old guys' lives. This even though the original plan was for me to take her home from the closing store but not keep her; I had a couple of people who were going to take her from there. (A couple just in case someone changed their mind.)

Introductions typically take weeks or months (and occasionally even a year or more), not days. You've been exceptionally lucky if all your previous introductions have only taken 5 days. Please look at the links ShadowsRescue posted - they explain the whole process really clearly. It's tried and tested, and it WORKS!

There is no need to think of giving up on this young girl yet. Go back to giving her a safe room, and start with scent swapping (as she's already been in the whole house and your old guys are pretty ok with her, you could look at site swapping too). After a few days, start the feeding on either side of a door. Take it slow, and stay patient.

Regarding her energy levels: be sure to give her plenty of interactive playtime every day. She needs a positive outlet for all that energy. If you can wear her out a couple of times a day she'll be far less likely to go after the older guys. You could even consider harness training her and taking her for walks. Its a wonderful way of giving her extra stimulation, and all the excitement will probably mean that she's tired when she gets back home. There's also the option of using clicker training to teach her to do different tricks. Most cats love it, and it will give her something else to think about.

If these techniques aren't enough by themselves, you can always consider using Spirit Essences and/or Composure to help her chill out a little.

Hang in there. I'm sure you'll be able to find a way through this.

[article="0"][/article][article="0"][/article][article="22430"][/article][article="30493"][/article]

I worry about  how far a fight with them will go if I'm not around and neither of them walks away. She's definitely being a bully to him. She's not showing any of the play behavior; she just yowls and hisses at him and starts batting her paws at him a million miles an hour. He fights back so I'd think she'd quit. Sometimes she'll walk away and he'll go after her after she's worked him up. I can't leave her in the other room all the time because that's where all the sunlight for the apartment comes in. It's been two months now. Why was my other cat able to school her with just a hiss and a cat f-u and the other one can't?

If these are the last years of his life, I don't want him to have to live this way. This is a small apartment, which probably exacerbates things.

The thing is, it's not like she'd be going to the pound, she'd be going to a good friend's home with cats her age. 

Do girl cats play differently than boys? The boys will rassle and sometimes one's on top, next time the other. She just bats at them like a maniac. She must have been a championship boxer in a former life. Also, the fact that she yowls bothers me - from what I've read, that's serious aggression, not just play.

Maybe give it a try. Let her be with the friend with cat's her age. See if that can work. If not she can always come back and do a new intro again.

The risk of fighting is one of the reasons that it's important to keep them separated at this stage. It takes time to get cats to cohabit peacefully. The interactive play is vital in this situation too - the new girl needs appropriate outlets for her energy.

First of all, thank you everyone! If I knew how to give out "purrraise" to each of you, I would. Maybe I can figure that out on the weekend.

I wonder why she picked him as her target. He's no shrinking violet - he'll give as good as she does. Actually, he's probably holding back. And he doesn't hide from her.It's funny - she doesn't seem to be going for alpha cat status - she always lets them eat first.

I woke up this morning and there was fur all over the floor! (I couldn't lock her up last night  because she'd been locked up all day. Also, she starts to think of the bedroom as "hers" if she's in there 24/7. This way the other cats go in and out; I just put her in there while I'm away at work.) It's a good thing I'm a very sound sleeper.

Teenagers.

She's loving with me, but when I see her heading towards the boys I hum the Jaws theme. 

At the bottom of each person's post is a button with a red heart. Click on that to give purraise.

I know I keep saying it, but you have to keep your girl separate from your boys 24/7 at the moment. Site swapping is the best way to stop your girl getting too protective of the bedroom - if she's been in there all day, have the boys in there all night. That way, they all get to own all the territory without getting into fights. The only way introductions will work is if you don't rush things and stay consistent.

Knock wood, things seem to be getting better. More coexistent, a squabble here and there. If I'm going to be out for any length of time, I put her in the bedroom with food, water, and litter. No one's wearing BFF collars, but I think they're getting used to each other's existence. Thank you to all! May the peace last.

Well, six months later and she's still tormenting my 17 year old cat. I feel like I ruined his last years. I don't know why he lets her get away with it - even at this age, he could fight back. *He does but then runs and he's scared of her. He has no problems play-wrassling with my other 17 year old, so part of me feels like he won't hit a girl! (I keep all their claws trimmed.) She boxes with him, rather than wrestles. Any ideas? I feel so guilty. I don't know if she's trying to play with him or hurt him. Also, she does this weird neck thing when she approaches him - I've never seen a cat do it before - she kind of twists her head to the side and her chin up- is that to leave her throat unexposed? It's not constant, but it's enough that it's made my previously calm old guy pretty jumpy.

When I leave her in the bedroom for the day while I'm at work, he greets me at the door happily. If I try leaving her out, he dashes out the door as soon as I open it.

I think I adopted a mean girl!  He's even started hiding under the bed, and that breaks my heart.

If you still have a friend who will take her, I would suggest trying that.  Cats have personalities, some are dominant and will stand up to a bully, and others are not.  This little blue-eyed fellow who is my avatar photo here has to live mostly in my bedroom with a young female who is sweet as can be and with my old blind cat who will stand up for himself but not attack anyone else.  The blue-eyed boy is a "victim" cat and he brings it all on himself with his body language.  Your female's body positioning is a threat.  A strong personality will either match it or hiss and bat at her, but a less assertive cat will crouch and tremble and perhaps growl but it is a scared growl, not a threatening one.  And the aggressive one will make a move and the scared one will run.  This little guy of mine was so terrorized he wouldn't even poop in any of the litter boxes (I have about 12 of them scattered throughout the house).  Only after I moved him in with the timid female (shortly after I rescued her, because she was stuck in my bedroom all day and needed company) did he start using the box again.  Now I give the two of them running time in the living room when the other cats are shut out, because they were both getting fat and flabby.  The rest of the cats here have strong personalities.  Those two have grown to love each other.  They lick each other's heads and sleep on the bed together.  He's even timid with me if I go to pet his head, and he crouches as if I were going to hit him.  I never hit him, and I've had him enough years now that if the kids at the house he used to live at DID hit him, surely he should have forgotten it.  The female doesn't do that.  It's obvious she was raised with love by humans, it's just other cats that scare her. 

For the sake of your timid male's well being, if you can't find another home for your girl, then just do site swapping forever.  One or the other of them should be locked up at all times so they don't have to intereact.  Cats can get ill from stress, and you certainly don't want that.

Thank you. I hate to rehome her twice in a year but it may come to that.

She tries the same stuff on my other  old cat but he basically hisses GET OFF MY LAWN and she goes away.