PLEASE HELP! Extreme Incontinence Issue

I guess I'll start from the beginning, in case there are any clues to anyone who has had this problem before : 

I adopted my cat Bernard (Bernie) from the animal shelter in July this past year. He is around 5 years old. He is an overweight cat, but he has lost some weight since he has been adopted. He lives with me and my fiance, however,  he is my cat. We also own a retired racing greyhound, and she is 6 years old. She does not bother Bernie, but I do think she is a bit jealous of him because he's small enough to get in my lap! (haha)

Ever since I've adopted him, I have had issues with him not using the litter box regularly. He has two litter boxes and I always keep them clean. Sometimes, he will use the litter box to urinate, but he has rarely used the boxes to poop.

I took him to the vet for diarrhea issues and then took him back again for urinary tract issues. After he finished both rounds of antibiotics and had a steroid shot, he was still suffering from incontinence. 

Some days I can tell that he isn't feeling well, because he hides all day. Most of the time he is out and comes up to me for lots of love and snuggles.

I can tell that his poop isn't normal, but the vet that I have been taking him to the past few months said that at this point his incontinence was due to behavioral issues and not medical issues.

I've been wondering if I should take Bernie to another vet for a second opinion. I just feel like something is wrong, especially since he seems to be constipated a lot. However, I didn't know if I should try to add fiber to his food via canned pumpkin or some other method in order to see if that would help loosen his stool.

He also has a problem of urinating on things I don't want him to. Every time he poops (outside of the litter box) he runs straight under the couch and, like clockwork, he releases a puddle of urine under the couch. 

When I was out of town this weekend (my fiance was home and watching our animals), I found out that he peed on the couch, and this morning he jumped into my lap and I was petting him and I noticed that he was peeing on me! (This is the second time that has happened) I tried my best not to show my frustration, because I know that can make the situation worse.

All in all, I'm so desperate for advice and answers. He is the first cat I have ever owned, and all of my fellow friends who own cats have no idea what could be going on. PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE, help me if you can!!

Definitely get a second opinion from another vet, preferably one that specializes in cats.

Since your cat has had both constipation and urinary issues this is where I'd start first. In the meantime, what is his diet like? Dry food or canned food?

I have a cat that has constipation issues, possible mega colon, that has to be fed wet food only and given a stool softener (Miralax) 1/4 tsp twice a day to keep him pooping. I do add pumpkin occasionally but not daily, even though you can. *disclaimer- these were instructions given for my cat per my vet, I'm not recommending without consulting a vet.

I found my cat to be "leaking" urine where he would sleep and lay before we knew about the constipation so I think it could be linked some how. Now that my cat is properly hydrated and not constipated there haven't been anymore "leaking" episodes. Another thing I found helpful for my cat was a "calming collar". I tried the Sentry brand and I definitely feel like it helped reduce his stress associated with his "issues".

I know our experiences aren't the same but I agree with you that it's more than a behavioral problem and I bet you will keep at it until you find some answers for your kitty.

Sending healing vibes to your kitty
Hugs for you

He eats dry food. I've been wanting to slowly switch him to wet food to see if that would help. My vet told me to stay away from wet food since he had issues with diarrhea before. However, from what I've read online wet food is a better food for cats! 

I've been wondering if my vet is just more used to dogs than cats. I am hoping to find someone more specialized in cat care, but since I live in a small town every vet is identified as a general practitioner. 

Thank you so much for your advice and your good vibes!! I plan on calling around this afternoon to see if I can get an appointment set up soon!

I adopted an elderly cat (14 y/o) this past March. He had severe constipation and was obese. He also avoided the litterbox.

His previous owner free fed him conventional dry food with the occasional wet food treat.

I immediately switched him to grain free canned food and added things such as extra water, ground flaxseed, canned pumpkin, etc. That resolved his constipation. His previous stools were very hard and dry. He also started to lose weight.

We also took him to the vet who determined that the house soiling was behavioral.

The vet started him on anti-anxiety meds.

He's been using his box like a champ now for a few months with maybe 1-2 setbacks after a stressful trip. Last time that the vet weighed him, he had come down to a trim and healthy 11.4 pounds!

Since rehabbing this feline I've done a lot of research and determined that wet food is best for all my cats. So my younger healthier cat and my foster cat both eat exclusively canned food now too.

Most dry food is too high in carbs and all dry food is very low in moisture.

Thank you for your advice! The vet that we have been seeing said he may have some kind of anxiety issue and to try Feliway. However, the reviews seemed like it wasn't worth how expensive it was. The plug-in also had proven to be defective for some people, and I don't want to buy something that could potentially cause damage to our house. 

I kind of want to call the shelter where I adopted him from to see if they have any information on him, but I doubt they do. I want to get a second opinion from another vet before I conclude that it is behavioral. However, I am going to slowly transition him to wet food, because of the benefits that it could lead to. 

Again thank you so much for your input! I'm glad that your cat baby is doing better now! 

Yes, wet food is one of the best things that you can do for him! Way to go! 

Honestly, it's surprising that with a history of constipation and urinary tract issues, that a vet would recommend dry food. Both of those issues are often related to a lack of dietary water. Canned food is one of the best ways to get water into him. My favorite quality brand for water content is Wellness Signature Selects. 
My kitty is on Buspirone for his anxiety. The vet recently reduced the dose and he is still doing great. The medication is very inexpensive. We only pay $5 per bottle.

Thanks so much for all of your advice! Hearing about recovered cats from similar problems makes me have lots of hope for the future!