I can't cope with loss of my 4 weeks old kitten:(

Two weeks ago i adopted an orpahned two weeks old kitten.At least that was what i was told.For the first couple of days we've been doing great.I bottle fed her every two hours with KRM, then stimulate her and she was sleeping peacefully.Then i saw some little sesame like things near her uterus and legs and some fleas then i took her to vet.It was late evening and the vet who take care of my other cats wasn't there so someone other took care of my little one and he sprayed her all over.Her coat was fully wet by the spray.

During the night she wasn't very well but she covered it in morning.We passed like 5 fun and beautiful days.Then i decided to take her to vet again because she was pooing in her box and her uterus was red and she wasn't let me clean her with cotton,she was screaming so loud.Vet told me that she's having a rash and gave me some pomade.And also he gave a bath to my kitten.I asked him with what he was giving the bath and he replyed he used some disinfectant.

Then we came home,she was normal during the day but by evening i noticed that she was a little bit down because normally she was meoving walking around but that evening she just sitted on the ground.I fed her again and went to sleep.I woke up by her sound in the morning and ı was shocked when I saw her breathing hardly with an open mouth and cold.I took her again to the vet immediatly and finally my vet was there and she made some injections under the skin and told me to fed her every two hours,if not bring her again in the evening to tube fed.

But my little Viki was rejecting food she didn't eat anything and I call the vet again.I told that she was better,breathing normally but has little energy and rejects eating.She said that is normal and I have to give some time to her.Like 6 hours were past since injections and she didn't eat at All By 16:40 she was so ill again like she was in the morning and I took her again to vet but unfortunately clinic is far from my house and she couldn't do it She made a last meow while we were getting close to the clinic but she was passed away on the road.I'm sooo sorry that I couldn't take good care of her,and she died because of me!I can't stop blaming my self.I never ever shouldn't take her to vet and let him to bath my little one with a disinfectant or I shouldn't wait for so long to take her again for tube feeding since she was rejecting the milk.I can't figure out completly why my baby died(I think she would be alive if I took precautions.I miss her too much.I still have her scratces on my hand but she's not here with me.Why do you thing she passed away?

I'm sorry for the novel,and my bad english.Please help me because ı'm suffering(

THİS İS OUR FİRST NİGHT TOGETHER

AND THİS İS THE LAST NİGHT

Until you've hand raised a kitten it's impossible to understand the bond you have with them. I'm so sorry. You did everything you could and still lost your baby kitten. And it's not fair.

She is so beautiful. Her life might have been short but she was loved.

It sounds like you did everything you could! She passed away loved and cared for which is all anyone can hope for on this life. Don't beat yourself up over it. Sending love your way.

Dear dovah and Kittens Mom thank you so much for your supportive messages.Your good thoughts and energy help me a lot and make me feel better.With love...

I would say that you tried very hard and that it is not your fault. Please do not stop trying to help other kittens even though it really, really sucks when you lose a friend. Even if she can't be there you still have your memories of her. Good luck to you.

Kittens Mom said:

 
Until you've hand raised a kitten it's impossible to understand the bond you have with them. I'm so sorry. You did everything you could and still lost your baby kitten. And it's not fair.

She is so beautiful. Her life might have been short but she was loved.

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This is so true. Kittens, especially orphaned kittens, are the very picture of unconditional love. It's amazing how so much love can fit in such a tiny package. You did all you could for Viki. When they are orphaned that young, typically the mother was sick, and often will have passed something along to the litter. Kittens are vulnerable anyway, but when born with a compromised immune system it's a real battle to survive. She may not have been with you long, but she was with you for half of her life! You were her entire world, I have no doubt. She will always be with you.

Viki reminds me a lot of my Sophie, a similar story, she was about a month old when we found her and she was with us only 3 weeks. But those 3 weeks left a big imprint on my heart.

Run free, sweet Viki.

If you've never read the Rainbow Bridge poem, you may find some comfort here:

http://www.newrainbowbridge.com/NRB/rbpoem.htm

I am truly sorry for the loss of your sweet little kitty. I know the pain you must be feeling. Your poor kitty's may have been short, but she was loved. She had a warm safe home with you. She knew she was loved and loved you in return. Please try to remember your Viki with smiles. It is how she would want to be remembered.
RIP Sweet Viki!
You will be missed and never forgotten!

Loving Mickey said:

I am truly sorry for the loss of your sweet little kitty. I know the pain you must be feeling. Your poor kitty's may have been short, but she was loved. She had a warm safe home with you. She knew she was loved and loved you in return. Please try to remember your Viki with smiles. It is how she would want to be remembered.
RIP Sweet Viki!
You will be missed and never forgotten!

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Thank you Loving Mickey for your support.I agree with you and I'm triying to focus on our good memories,how much we loved each other.

Kittens Mom said:

How are you doing today ?

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Thank you Kittens Mom[emoji]128149[/emoji]I miss her so much and sometimes start to cry suddenly[emoji]128532[/emoji]When I see the place where I was putting her bottle or when I don't get up with her loud meows.But now I think nothing happens without a reason and I learnt a lot with her passing away.I try to focus on our good times together and how much we had fun together and how much our relationship was full of love.She will always be remembered but not only by memories,also by the lessons learnt.Now I try to transform this experience into a good one.
Thank you so much again for asking and your support[emoji]128149[/emoji][emoji]128519[/emoji]
With my warm regards.

How are you doing today ?

vikimyangel said:

Thank you Kittens Mom[emoji]128149[/emoji]I miss her so much and sometimes start to cry suddenly[emoji]128532[/emoji]When I see the place where I was putting her bottle or when I don't get up with her loud meows.But now I think nothing happens without a reason and I learnt a lot with her passing away.I try to focus on our good times together and how much we had fun together and how much our relationship was full of love.She will always be remembered but not only by memories,also by the lessons learnt.Now I try to transform this experience into a good one.
Thank you so much again for asking and your support[emoji]128149[/emoji][emoji]128519[/emoji]
With my warm regards.

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So glad you're doing better. Here is a link to their rainbow bridge page. You'll probably find more support over there. Crying is part of the natural healing process. Hugs to you.

http://www.thecatsite.com/f/19/crossing-the-bridge