Husband is in hosptial

My husband has been in the hospital since last Wednesday. ( second one)  He has a blood clot to his heart and one in is brain and has suffered a stroke and on the  verge of a second one.. He has been fighting the nurses about everyday cause they have to clean him up and change the IV's.

He almost hit the nurses too. He is a very frustrated person. and he just wants to go home but he has to be moved upstairs in the next couple of days to the Rehab floor. The doctors first said he would not be able to walk or talk and would be half blind.  He proved them wrong.  He has been trying to get out of the bed but can't cause he is tied down.  I'm feeling drained cause I have been here for a few days . I just need to go home and sleep for 2 days straight.

My God, you've been through enough to last a lifetime! I know you feel so helpless, because frankly there is nothing you can do except be there and offer him your love and support. I'm glad you realize that he is frustrated and acting out because he is unable to do what he used to. Strokes 'change' the way a person thinks , there will be times when you don't know why he is doing what he is doing, and he can't explain it either. Believe me, the nurse's have all seen it before. I'm glad that he is using his frustrations to goad himself into walking and talking again, rehab will be a challenging time for him and he needs a drive to improve and not give up. I do hope you can get some sleep, it doesn't do either of you any good for you to collapse too, so try to eat a little and get some rest! I'll definitely keep him in my prayers, he's already proved them wrong so I'll pray for a miracle and have him back home! My heart goes out to you both, I'm a nurse so I know the problems and emotions you are going through, my dad had a stroke in June also.  May mercy be granted to us all.

I'm sorry for everything you and your husband are going through.  Rule number 1 for a caretaker is that you are only human, and you must also take care of you before you can care for anyone.  I know its hard to leave him, but when he does get to come home, the biggest bulk of the work will fall on you, so while you have the opportunity, and others are there to provide for his care, you need to make sure to get yourself some rest, eat right, take deep breaths... wont be any good for either of you if you get sick too.

Also, while we want to do everything we can to make it easier on the patient, and rightfully so, I have learned with having my mother in the nursing home for 10 years... patients can make the whole process easier, or they can make it harder, patients too have a responsibility to make the most of it... he may as well learn this before he gets out of rehab or he can make your life hell at home!  I don't suggest you be mean to him, but you do need to learn to be firm.  For example, when it comes to meals, your focus might be on getting him to eat, his focus might be on wanting to go McDonalds, or not eating at all or whatever.  Don't let him draw you into a battle.  Sometimes a simple, I am sorry you don't feel like eating right now.  Do you want me to leave this here in case you get hungry in a little bit, or shall I take this plate away now.  Leave and let him calm down.  As a care giver, you cannot change what has happened to him. You can only help him move forward from it when he is ready to move forward.  Check back often, but you don't get stuck where he is at.

Best of luck to both of you for a speedy and complete recovery!

Di and Bob said:

 
My God, you've been through enough to last a lifetime! I know you feel so helpless, because frankly there is nothing you can do except be there and offer him your love and support. I'm glad you realize that he is frustrated and acting out because he is unable to do what he used to. Strokes 'change' the way a person thinks , there will be times when you don't know why he is doing what he is doing, and he can't explain it either. Believe me, the nurse's have all seen it before. I'm glad that he is using his frustrations to goad himself into walking and talking again, rehab will be a challenging time for him and he needs a drive to improve and not give up. I do hope you can get some sleep, it doesn't do either of you any good for you to collapse too, so try to eat a little and get some rest! I'll definitely keep him in my prayers, he's already proved them wrong so I'll pray for a miracle and have him back home! My heart goes out to you both, I'm a nurse so I know the problems and emotions you are going through, my dad had a stroke in June also.  May mercy be granted to us all.

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Yes to all of that.  My Grandmother described it the same after one of her strokes.  She could hear herself; but not stop what she was saying/doing.  She had to work for it; but she recovered function she thought she might not.  (Keep in mind she was in her 80s.)

Hang in there and take care of yourself! 

Thanks for the encouragements guys. You are wonderful people.

I'm sorry about your husband. Take care of yourself, too. I hope he'll do well.

Sending you and your husband lots of healing prayers. Take care of yourself. :nod:

I am very sorry to hear this.  I hope he will be well enough to come home soon.

MollyBlue said:

 
I'm sorry for everything you and your husband are going through.  Rule number 1 for a caretaker is that you are only human, and you must also take care of you before you can care for anyone.  I know its hard to leave him, but when he does get to come home, the biggest bulk of the work will fall on you, so while you have the opportunity, and others are there to provide for his care, you need to make sure to get yourself some rest, eat right, take deep breaths... wont be any good for either of you if you get sick too.

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I agree 100% with this.

for as complete a recovery as possible, and take care of yourself, too.

My husband is coming along He is eating on his own and holding cups by himself.  He has to eat alot more than he is or he will not be coming out of this hospital to go to the nursing home next.  He knows who I am and tries to get the nurses mad.

dejolane said:

 
My husband is coming along He is eating on his own and holding cups by himself.  He has to eat alot more than he is or he will not be coming out of this hospital to go to the nursing home next.  He knows who I am and tries to get the nurses mad.

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That's great news. He must be feeling better if he's got the energy to give the nurses a hard time. 

I hope he continues on the road to recovery. 

Hey, any progress, no matter how small is still progress!  You might ask what he can have and maybe bring him in something from his favorite restaurant or something homemade, I'm sorry but I know how bland most hospital food is! Ice cream or a shake is always welcome! Make sure the nursing home he goes to has a good rehab and that they do it as often as they can. Rehab now is critical, he needs to regain what he lost as soon as possible to avoid losing it altogether. May you be blessed with good luck and good health in the future!

dejolane said:

 
My husband is coming along He is eating on his own and holding cups by himself.  He has to eat alot more than he is or he will not be coming out of this hospital to go to the nursing home next.  He knows who I am and tries to get the nurses mad.

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I'm glad to hear he's doing better.  I hope the progress continues.  

I am so sorry you are both going through this.  I suspect he is angry with the nurses out of frustration.  And they should understand and treat him with kindness.  Please try to get some rest and remember to eat some "real" food yourself, even if it's on a tray from the hospital cafeteria.