Question to the spiritual people here

I feel very sad. Being a spiritual person myself, there is one unexplained circumstance. And it gives me unending heartache and tears. My mother lives far in another country and has schizophrenia. So not only do I not get to see her, I don't get to feel like I have any mother. Phone conversations are very difficult and also very painful for me. Fate tore me from her at 13. I left for another country. I haven't seen her in a few years. I don't know when I'll see her again. I don't have the money to travel, and my destiny is here in the States. Yet my heart bleeds from within, and it will never stop bleeding.

My question - if things happen for a purpose, then how does this benefit the Universe/God/Gaia? Or - anyone in my shoes?...

Cats love cat lovers because we are emotionally intelligent and evolved enough to be able to grasp the gentle essence of Cat. That's why I trust this place when asking this question .

I am carefully thinking over your question. I can say with certainty that none of us will really ever know for sure, not even you. At best, its a good guess. I feel very badly that this has happened to you. I will say, I think that things are done for a reason and sometimes we don't see it then, sometimes we never will. I do think that the experiences we have in this life, shape us to be who we are and how we respond to other things we encounter. I do hope that you might be able to write letters or just send pictures, to let her know you care. Try to remember the good times you had with your mother before her illness changed who she was. 

I think most people never get to truly know why certain things happen in their lives. I do believe all things happen for a reason and the Universe does have a master plan for all things, but we usually don't get to know our part in it. Maybe that is what nirvana and true enlightenment are, an awareness of how you fit into the Universe and how you have affected and influenced others in their part.

Our daily actions affect others without our realizing it. Maybe you said something in passing to a stranger and what you said influenced a decision that person was trying to make. That decision could be life-changing for the stranger and they could go onto affect thousands of other people because of that one decision. All because you smiled and said something you thought was trivial. Maybe it was something you posted online. The moment for your part may not have even happened yet, and it may not happen for several decades. There is no way to know.

Your hardship may be happening now to make you stronger for something yet to come, whether it is here on Earth or in the afterlife. People who believe in reincarnation believe we face emotional trials and great pain on Earth to help our souls grow and evolve. When the soul is completely evolved, we get to become one with the Universe. I think that is why seemingly senseless, horrible things happen, like a baby dying or a tragic accident.

One day, years from now, you may get to know why you are separated from your mother. Or you may not. Whether or not you receive that information is not something you can change. I am not Christian, but I do believe in the Serenity Prayer:

Grant me the Serenity to accept the things I cannot change,
the Courage to change the things I can,
and the Wisdom to know the difference.


The only thing you can do is try to stay positive and keep putting good energy into out the Universe. That positive energy will be returned to you in unexpected ways. I hope you can find some peace.

I'm really sorry to hear you are going through such difficulty. 

I believe that we pick our situation here on earth before we are born, and we don't always pick the easy lives because we want our souls to grow. Since we don't remember anything before we were born, it's a blind test where we don't know we are being testing because we don't remember signing up for it. 

The woman who gave birth to me was a monster (BPD witch mother). The things she did to her children are straight out of a horror story, stuff you wouldn't believe someone could do to innocent little kids, much less their mother. I feel my sisters and I signed up for this particular journey to be there for each other, and  to help each other through all of it. But I don't believe the lessons were just for us - I believe our mother was here to learn to be a better person too, even though it seems to me she failed the test.

My advice is to pray and accept. The only thing we can control in life is how we deal with what is thrown at us. I hope you find peace. 

I am sorry you are going through this.  Sometimes I think it is beyond us to figure out the why of things.

I am one of the people who grew up with a mentally ill mother, a cold father, and an only child.  I also grew up on a farm so was very isolated.  I have a lot of issues that have carried over into adulthood and have always been the one on the outside looking in.  People who believe in an eternal karma believe that I am either paying off bad karma or am in a growth phase.  The belief is I either did something really bad in a past life or I was never the one with a hard life and on the outside looking in.  People like myself now never registered with me in a past life.

Christianity really doesn't have as good an explanation.  Christianity explains it as evil in the world that affects some people more than others.

I think trying to figure out the why can make things harder to deal with, sometimes we just have to accept that things are what they are.

SwampWitch said:

 
I'm really sorry to hear you are going through such difficulty. 

I believe that we pick our situation here on earth before we are born, and we don't always pick the easy lives because we want our souls to grow. Since we don't remember anything before we were born, it's a blind test where we don't know we are being testing because we don't remember signing up for it. 

The woman who gave birth to me was a monster (BPD witch mother). The things she did to her children are straight out of a horror story, stuff you wouldn't believe someone could do to innocent little kids, much less their mother. I feel my sisters and I signed up for this particular journey to be there for each other, and  to help each other through all of it. But I don't believe the lessons were just for us - I believe our mother was here to learn to be a better person too, even though it seems to me she failed the test.

My advice is to pray and accept. The only thing we can control in life is how we deal with what is thrown at us. I hope you find peace. 

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I believe very much the same as SwampWitch, and I also think we live many  lives on this earth and i's basically our school where the things we go through helps our souls to grow and learn.  When we get to the other side, then we'll remember why we chose the path we did in this life.

I'm so sorry you have such sadness.