Still confused by my new feral cat Jaspers behavior

Ok so it's been about two months since I befriended a feral cat that I named Jasper im still so confused by our bizarre relationship lol and I'm still confused by his behavior!!! So we have made huge strides in bonding when I call his name if I don't see him outside he always comes running and rubs on my legs constantly. When I feed him he runs right up to the bowl before I even fully put it down and always takes a few bites then rubs on my legs then eats some more than rubs on my legs lol so I definitely think he likes me and is more trusting. However I still get swatted at from time to time. So basically I have a chair I put out in the area where he hangs out and eats and that's where I sit all the time when we are hanging out and he rubs all over my legs and then will always plop down and sprawl out and kneed the air and pur. I can actually hear him purring lol. Anyways when he rubs on my legs I can actually stroke his tail with my hand however he's started this new thing where when I do that he puts his two front paws on my lap almost as if he's going to jump on my lap but I think he does that to get closer to swatting my hand which he has done lol. At first I thought he was doing that because he didn't want me touching him because even in the very beginning when he first started rubbing on my legs he seemed to always be very aware of my hands and basically afraid of them but after he does swat at my hand now he will rub on my legs again and if I don't stroke his tail((which of course I don't after he scratches my arm or hand lol)) he will actually wag his tail harder and turn and look At me with a look like he's saying "why aren't you petting my tail?" So then I do and he will let me do it a whole bunch of times and then eventually jumps up and swats at my arm again lol. I don't think he's doing it to be mean because he is usually purring the whole time and there are times where he will sit before he jumps up and while he's sitting staring at me he's kneeding so I think it's more playful also when he lays down he rolls all over the place and gives me looks like he wants me to pet him even when he rubs on my legs he always looks up like he wants his head scratched. sometimes when he's laying out doing Rollie pollies he will stretch his arm out to touch my foot and will roll his head and just act like he's playing with my foot. Even when he hits me the only marks I end up with are little dots where the tip of his nails go in so I don't think he even means to hurt me or realizes he is hurting me. What do you guys think? Also he hangs out in my backyard with me now when I open the gate for him and if I'm on the phone walking around he will follow me all over and will play with the leaves and the strings that hang off our patio furniture and if I'm just standing or sitting he rubs all over my legs and sometimes swats at my leg but I always feel more of his paw when he does that literally it's the tips of his nails that prick me and I don't think he's ever swatting me with the intention of scratching because I never end up with scratch marks except for when he plays with my feet and his claws get stuck in the rubber but I again I think it's more playful. I really wish I could show you guys videos so you could really see it instead of me trying to explain it lol but I really want to know what you guys think? What's more confusing is the last two days he has started biting me...well trying to bite me. He will rub and rub on my legs then stop and sit down and then bite me but it's more like he's mouthing me he doesn't break skin and it doesn't even hurt at all when he does it but I always flinch or jump because if he really did bite me for real I know that can be very serious for me health wise lol. I just don't understand why he has been doing that? I think it may be just a playful thing cause again he always kneeds the ground before the attack and is always purring and his eyes get super dilated like when my old pet cat as a child's eyes use to get when they were playing but I really would like some input on this just in case I'm totally misreading his signals and he's not being friendly and playful but is actually being mean and I could end up getting viciously attacked and I should not continue with these interactions. Please let me know ASAP what you guys think? And as always thank you for listening and for responding I really appreciate it.

It sounds like Jasper is very confused inside.  He enjoys the pets you are giving and knows how good they feel, but inside his feralness is telling him to be afraid of you thus he swats you.  This will take lots of time for him to get completely trusting of you.  One of the things you might try doing is not sitting in a chair, but instead sitting on the ground.  When you sit up in a chair, you are then looming over him.  Most cats do not like this.  Try to get on his level.  Also be careful of touching/petting his tail.  Some cats are very sensitive in the tail area and do not like to be touched there. 

One thing you can do is to get a wand toy and use it to pet him.  You also can use it to play with him.  Yet allow the feather to touch his body.  He will start to enjoy touch in other places.  I am in the process of working with a feral that has just decided he wanted to be pet.  He lived under my deck for 6 months and I could hardly get a look at him.  I did TNR on him and once released he vanished for 8 months.  I was certain he had moved on or had not survived.  Now he has been back for 5 months.  We have been working on touch and he too enjoys it, but I am swatted at most days.  I do my best to remain calm.  I started using a homemade "petter".  I took a wand toy and attached a soft piece of wadded up flannel on the end.  I used duct tape to get it on the end.  It has a nice soft tip and I use it to reach out and pet him.  He loves it.    I gradually pull the wand toy towards me and move my hand into its place.  Just move slowly with this process.I will attach a few pictures of him with the wand.

Thank you for caring for him and working hard to give him a better life.  Have you had him neutered yet?  If not please consider trapping him and getting him to the vet.  You do not want him out and about wandering looking for females and producing more and more unwanted kittens in this world.  It will prolong his life and keep him from getting into fights.  You also can get him vaccinated too.

We actually are picking up a safe trap thing for him tomorrow to get him to the vet soon. I want to get him neutered and vaccinated before it starts getting to cold lol. I actually just bought a heated cat house for him for when it starts getting colder. Thank you so much I'm totally going to try that!!! Even if he is just playing with me it will hurt the toy a lot less than when he goes after my hand lol

Good luck with the trapping.  Be sure to really clean the trap before you try to use it.  Some cats won't go into it if they smell other cats scents.  Also line the bottom of the trap in newspaper or cheap puppy pea pads.  I find them at the Dollar Tree and like them as they make less noise than newspaper.  You can either start to feed him in the unset trap and get him used to it or just give it a whirl.  Most people have luck with really stinky tuna or other fishy foods.  Be sure that once you trap him, you cover the trap with a sheet and keep him somewhere safe for the night.  I usually put the cat in my basement on a thick tarp ( in case they pee) or in the closed garage.  After the neuter, you will need to keep him some place safe over night.  I use the basement or garage again.  They need overnight to allow the anesthesia to fully wear off.  You can then release the next morning or day.  Most cats shoot out of the trap and stay away for a bit.  So don't be surprised if he stays away for a day or two.

Thank you so much for caring for him.  How nice that you purchased a heated house for him to stay nice and warm this winter.  You might want to look into a small heated water bowl too.  I have seen them on Walmart.com for around $10.

I didn't know they made heated water bowls I'm definitely going to check it out. Yea the house is heated and I also bought a special mat to put on the inside that has that special foil stuff inside I think it's called Mylar. It's that blanket thing they use for emegencies that looks like a huge foil blanket it's suppose to trap your body heat and reflect it back on to you so it's feels like a heated blanket without having to get plugged In or overheat you. So that's what's inside the mat so when he lays on it he stays warm and the house is insulated and what not so it will keep him nice and warm and out of the elements and will also give him a cool place in the summer. It's also on stilts so it's off the ground. When I get it I will post pictures!! And I have a spot in my garage set up for him for him to recover safely. That's what I am nervous about is after I bring him to the vet that he's going to hate me lol. Obviously I know he won't be happy and will be mad at me but you don't think it will ruin all the trust we've built do you?? Like the two months I've spent building his trust is not going to go away where he's going to act like he did in the beginning? Like we are going to have to start from square one do you?? That would make me sad lol I'm still going to bring him cause I'm in love with him already and I want him to stay healthy and safe but that will so suck if I have to regain his trust from scratch because it has taken many many many hours and days and weeks of spending time with him and talking to him to get to where we are today lots of patience and scratches lol I really hope taking him to the vet won't erase all of that lol. What do you think? Thank you so much for taking the time to read and talk to me and to share your advice and pictures of your feral!! What's the name of yours? How long have you been taking care?

He may be a bit upset but he will come around after a few days. Just act normal to him. He knows you care for him and you are also his food source. Most return especially the more social ones. I had one shoot out of the trap and come back 6 hours later!! Yet I had 2 that were completely feral and it was so traumatic for them. One never came back and the other left for 8 months then returned. Yet the others who I had worked with all retuned in a day or two.

Your heated house sounds nice. I have used the Mylar beds before. If your area gets really cold you might consider stuffing it with straw for extra warmth. I use the electric heat pads that don't over heat. I also have a heated house with a hound heater. I am on Ohio and we have cold winters.

I have 3 ferals right now. The one in the picture that I am working with now is Hampton. He was the one gone for 8 months. He returned in April. I also have Shadow (in my avatar) who has been with me 5 years and Stellar who has been with me a bit over 2 years. I have had a few others that are no longer with me.

You can read about them in my blog. I have their stories and pictures of their shelters and links to supplies. The link is in my signature.

Update when you can and ask lots of questions. We are here to help.

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