Oh my goodness!!!! I need help!!!!!

After losing my mom, one of the things that struck me was that after the service had ended, everyone went on with their lives and that's just about the time when I needed everyone most. You get a lot of offers of "call me if you need something", but many people (myself included) can't reach out to others in their grief. It was so comforting when folks came up to me later and gave me that hug I so desperately needed.

Even if you don't know what to say, sometimes just being there is enough to show you care. Don't wait for your friend to call you - be there for her.

If her mom was part of a Hospice program, there is a lot of support available for grieving family members after their loss. Perhaps talk to your friend on that topic and see if you can help her with some support groups.

Hello again

I talked to my friend last night for a minute or two, and then I saw her again today, I don't know how she's doing seriously. I mean, she honestly can't be doing that well, cuz I think if it was me, I'd be so crappy it wouldn't be nice, but anyhow. She was at a hockey game, and stopped in to see me at work, and she might phone me tomorrow to maybe get together. It would be nice, and as there is a lot of ppl in her family, she might need some peace and quiet, kind of. So I'm going up early, and hopefully she'll phone and I can pick up the plant and give it to her.

Give her a couple of days, then if she hasn't been back in touch, you make the move. She's bound to still feel a bit down, and your phone call might just be the thing to pick her up again!, honestly.

Susan

Ok, I bought a plant arrangement, it has african violets, a defenbeckia (spelling anyone??), and an ivy plant. It looks really nice. Not to funeral like. I'm going to make her a "note" that goes with it, b/c I suck at saying what I mean, especially when it's like right now kind of thing and writing it makes it so much easier. I can make it as long as I want too. Anyways, I'm off to do that now! (Before it's too late)

Right now you friend is numb. She probably has cried until she feels she can't cry anymore. You just try to get on with you life, but you have this huge hole in your heart. Just be her friend. I love your plant idea.

I am so sorry to hear about your friends mom. I think the plant is a good idea, it sounds lovely. I think you should also call her back again when she has more time to talk.

Hopefully my friend and I are getting together tomorrow, so I will give her the plant then. That's what my plans are for tomorrow afternoon/night. I hope it works out that we can get together. I feel so bad for her loss, and then to have no one to talk to either sucks! Wish me luck!

How did it go?

Well I finally caught up with my friend! I took the plant and a card along with a note to her today, even though I've had it for about a week or so now. So we had tea, then we went out for supper and we had a good talk. I hope I can help her if she needs it. She also thought it might be a good idea if I can move in with her. I have to figure all the stuff out first, and see how much it would actually all come to, but I would really like for it to happen. We had a good talk, and I explained to her that I had meant to bring it way back, but it just never happened that we were in the same place at the same time. So that's done now. Hopefully I'll be able to talk to her again this week sometime, or rather next week. Thanks for all the help you guys have given me. : : : :

Sounds like it went well! That is great!!! Let us know if you move in with her and how it goes.

Sorry I haven't replied earlier I haven't really known what to say until now. Thank you for being there for your friend when she needs you most, that's just what she needed and she'll never forget that. Hugs to you Pam.. You're a great lady! Take care my friend.

Thanks Sam and Debby! I'll be keeping everyone updated, cuz if I move in with her, I won't likely have access to the net as much, therefore I won't be on here as much. Oh well, freedom comes at a price, eh?

hey, if you are not gonna be on the net often, who's gonna talk to me after my lunch break???