Contractor + Church: what would you do?

swampwitch · Sep 10, 2015

Our contractor is a really nice guy and his company does great work, but twice now he has told me about his church and invited us to come to a service. The first time was in person and I thanked him but declined, and thought that was it.

But this morning, he emailed me about a small piece of equipment that was accidently left in our garage, and asked if maybe we could bring it by his church on Sunday morning, and check out the service… or he could pick it up. I emailed him back, telling him when he could pick it up.

It makes me uncomfortable and kind of creeped out, because he doesn't know us at all and his invitation means he's making all kinds of assumptions (we don't go to church already, we need a church, we want to be saved, we need to be saved, etc.).

Also his right-hand man, the one who has done most of the work on the house, is our new neighbor and lives down the street.

I thought the flat-out decline the first time was enough to get him to stop, but apparently not. I'm guessing he is going to bring it up again. Going to his church is absolutely NOT an option. Any advice? What would you do? - thanks!

Kat0121 · Sep 10, 2015

I would have done the same thing you did. Let him know he can pick it up. I'd make no mention of the church at all and if he brings it up it again, just say that you already have a church you go to, are atheist, not interested, worship only the Cat Goddess so your "church" is in your home and your cats are the high priests/priestesses or whatever it takes to get through to him that you will not be going.

I hate people like that. They are so annoying. I don't go to church, haven't in decades and have no intention of that changing. That boggles people's minds. They seem to think that THEIR church will be the one that makes me change my mind. No it won't. I don't care that they DO go but they sure care that I don't. Everyone has to do what's best for them.

Winchester · Sep 10, 2015

You need to tell him -- in a nice way -- simply that. You have a church, you like your church, and you don't want to go to another church. Or, if you don't go to church, just tell him that you don't go. And then you emphasis that you would prefer he not mention it again.

I don't like it either and find the whole thing very creepy. When our son got married, he became a born-again Christian. One day I was down at their house and I had gone upstairs to use the bathroom. When I came out, he was standing there. He told me in no uncertain terms that he was worried about my soul. I asked him why. His answer was that I am not saved. I told him to please leave me alone. That I don't hold his religion against him and would appreciate receiving the same treatment. I am an agnostic. And it has caused no end of problems between my son and me.

When my Dad passed away (and then later on, my mother), his only concern was whether or not, they had been saved. I was quite angry about the whole thing. That was all he cared about. He even had me ask the minister who did the funeral service. I did, found out they both were saved....and saved the day, I guess.

Why is it that Christians think their way is the only way?

(And now I'll shut up to avoid this going into IMO.)

kookycats · Sep 10, 2015

Some years back a friend of ours also became a born again Christian and he was fanatic about everybody joining his church. H e mentioned it to us many times and we just politely avoided the situation. Needless to say he stopped being our friend once he realized we were not going to go to his church. People just have to respect your beliefs or non-beliefs and if a friendship is based on your going their way, then it's just not worth it.

swampwitch · Sep 10, 2015

Yeah, I don't mean for this to go into IMO, either.

I was really surprised both times he brought it up, there was no warning. Usually people ask first if you've found God or Jesus, or if you want to.

Also, I don't know if it's a good thing, or if it adds to the creepy factor, but he emailed (I'm paraphrasing) that it might not be what you think of when you think of the word church.

p.s. He didn't ask if I go to church or not, and I don't want to volunteer that information because I feel it's none of his business. I also won't talk politics with him, tell him my medical history, or give him my credit card number. Oh wait on that last one...

sivyaleah · Sep 10, 2015

I'm not even sure telling him anything is necessary since no matter your excuse he'll probably combat it with some reason you should attend his church.

I'd just politely (because you like him) say you're not interested without going into any story why. If he continues, I'd seriously ignore him when he brings it up.

blueyedgirl5946 · Sep 10, 2015

SwampWitch said:
Yeah, I don't mean for this to go into IMO, either.

I was really surprised both times he brought it up, there was no warning. Usually people ask first if you've found God or Jesus, or if you want to.

Also, I don't know if it's a good thing, or if it adds to the creepy factor, but he emailed (I'm paraphrasing) that it might not be what you think of when you think of the word church.

p.s. He didn't ask if I go to church or not, and I don't want to volunteer that information because I feel it's none of his business. I also won't talk politics with him, tell him my medical history, or give him my credit card number. Oh wait on that last one...

swampwitch I am a Christian. I do pray for people and I do witness and try to show the love of Jesus to people. Sometimes Christians make pests of themselves in how they try to approach others. That is what this man has done. It is nice he invited you to church, nothing wrong with that. You told him no and no explanation was necessary. His behavior in keeping on is wrong and now you are in a position of being pestered, If I were you, I would tell him in very plain words, "You did your Christian duty when you invited me. I told you no then. Please drop this subject and don't mention it to me again."

He would understand that., hopefully.

By the way, how much longer before the job you hired him for is over? I hope you can endure until he finishes.

mingking · Sep 10, 2015

I think just making up something like you already go to a friend's church already would make him drop the topic. It's lying, but from my experience, they won't drop it until you succumb. I was at church (yes, lol, I go to church!) and there was a short testimony about how this kid kept asking his friend to go to church camp with him every year for 4 years and how he tells her he prays for her until finally, she said yes.

Most people clapped and thanked God he got through to her. Me? I kinda raised my eyebrows and thought, "Poor girl..."

Not saying all people are like that but it's more common they won't give up until you say "yes".

happybird · Sep 10, 2015

This bothers me. One invitation is okay, I suppose, but repeated invitations are very unprofessional and inappropriate. After the work is done and the forgotten tools picked up, I would write a nice, but firm, email explaining how uncomfortable it made you feel and, regardless of the quality of work, this issue would affect your decision on whether or not to hire the company again for any future projects.
I wonder how many of his jobs have tools left behind that can conveniently be dropped by the church, just in time for a service. If a contractor does leave something behind, they should come pick it up and not even think about suggesting the client bring it to them. Anywhere. That is obnoxious. This contractor probably bugs all his clients about attending his church and I'll bet you are not the first creeped out by it. I definitely would be.

natalie_ca · Sep 10, 2015

Just tell him something along the lines of:

"Thank you for the invitation, but we really aren't interested. However, should we change our mind, we'll be sure to let you know."

stewball · Sep 11, 2015

Winchester said:
You need to tell him -- in a nice way -- simply that. You have a church, you like your church, and you don't want to go to another church. Or, if you don't go to church, just tell him that you don't go. And then you emphasis that you would prefer he not mention it again.

I don't like it either and find the whole thing very creepy. When our son got married, he became a born-again Christian. One day I was down at their house and I had gone upstairs to use the bathroom. When I came out, he was standing there. He told me in no uncertain terms that he was worried about my soul. I asked him why. His answer was that I am not saved. I told him to please leave me alone. That I don't hold his religion against him and would appreciate receiving the same treatment. I am an agnostic. And it has caused no end of problems between my son and me.

When my Dad passed away (and then later on, my mother), his only concern was whether or not, they had been saved. I was quite angry about the whole thing. That was all he cared about. He even had me ask the minister who did the funeral service. I did, found out they both were saved....and saved the day, I guess.

Why is it that Christians think their way is the only way?

(And now I'll shut up to avoid this going into IMO.)

The ultra religious Jews are like that. Unfortunately they have seats in parliament. Already Israeli planes don't fly on the sabbath, Friday evening till Saturday evening. They tried to stop TV on the sabbath, football, food shops opening etc. They're trying to make Israel into a religious country like Muslim countries!

stewball · Sep 11, 2015

As you realise, I am Jewish. Non practicing. The laday who looked after my mother was a Jamaica Christian and even though she knew our religion she kept blessing us in Jesus'a name. Jesus is not part of our religion. I kept telling her if she must bless us to do it in God's name. It didn't help and made me very upset.

nebula · Sep 11, 2015

I too like blue-eyed am a practicing Christian. I have invited people to church (once, and if they decline I don't do it again). On occasion we might have something special going on (like an ice cream thing for kids etc...) and I might invite somebody for that.

What irritates me is when Christians do make pests of themselves. And one thing to keep in mind, some Christian groups and churches believe they are the only way. IN other words, I have told "evangelists" that I am a Christian and go to my own church, and they either don't believe me-- or they don't care. have not much time for them. I am sorry you have dealt with an irritating Christian. If it helps any, that likely isn't his intent. However, I do understand your frustration.... Without bashing my own, I can say that some Christians are mean, vile, and manipulative. They are narrow minded, closed minded and judgemental.

but please don't think all Christians are like that. We aren't

That being said, I would simply have told him when he could pick it up.

In the words of Ghandi "I Love your Christ, it's your Christians I can't stand your Christians, they are so unlike your Christ"

nebula · Sep 11, 2015

mingking said:
I think just making up something like you already go to a friend's church already would make him drop the topic. It's lying, but from my experience, they won't drop it until you succumb. I was at church (yes, lol, I go to church!) and there was a short testimony about how this kid kept asking his friend to go to church camp with him every year for 4 years and how he tells her he prays for her until finally, she said yes.

Most people clapped and thanked God he got through to her. Me? I kinda raised my eyebrows and thought, "Poor girl..."

Not saying all people are like that but it's more common they won't give up until you say "yes".

We aren't. It fires me up to no end, when Christians act like monsters. Unfortunately, so many of them are millitant. They believe freedom of religion applies only to them , and not all religions. It's absolutely ridiculous at times. Sorry you have dealt with such negative experiences with Christians!!

I too feel bad for that girl. The "NO" has to be respected. It's Biblical........... That being said though, I see no issue with one invite.

Let what you say be simply 'Yes' or 'No'; anything more than this comes from evil. (Matthew 5:37)

Contractor + Church: what would you do?

swampwitch

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Thread starter

Kat0121

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Winchester

In the kitchen with my cookies

kookycats

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swampwitch

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sivyaleah

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blueyedgirl5946

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mingking

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happybird

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natalie_ca

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stewball

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stewball

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nebula

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nebula

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