Hello, I need some advice about a stray / feral cat?

I have had a stray or feral cat, I'm not sure which, coming around to my house looking for food for several months now. I've not owned cats before and would like your advice on cat behavior and what to do.

Thank you!

Sorry I posted this too soon without being able to edit and explain the further details.

Several months ago a stray or feral tabby started coming around my house looking for food that I usually throw out in the woods behind my garage. I first noticed that it would lay on front porch and I started going outside, to call to it, and to leave food to see if it would come and eat.

At first, it would run and hide and refuse to come out and eat until I had gone back into the house.

After quite some time of it occasionally showing up to eat and disappearing for several days on end, it appeared just 10 feet away as I was walking through my back door and it stopped and meowed at me. I went back in and got some food and left it outside for it to eat, but it would usually hide in a bush until I went back in. After awhile, it started to actually come more regularly to the door to the screened in porch out back, and would wait patiently looking into my kitchen, until I noticed it.

I would open the door, it would meow at me, and I would try my best to meow back in a soft voice.  I was then able to start going out and leaving food nearby, and I would watch it come out from the bush and go to eat. Recently, I decided to go out and sit, and see if it would come and eat with me outside. At first, I could only get it to come out if I was very far away, like 30ft or so. However, after some time of doing this, I was able to sit on the doorstep, and it would reluctantly come and eat something maybe 15ft way. After quite awhile of this, It became comfortable enough to eat nearby and even groom itself before walking away. 

The best I've yet done is that I've been able to actually toss food, such as chicken strips from where I'm sitting to the cat, and it will come out and eat them, and I slowly toss them a little bit closer each time, until it comes nearly 3 feet or so away, and will pick up the chicken strips and go back to the bush and eat.

I'm really confused about various behaviors though, for instance:

I've had difficulty, even after being meowed at, in being able to walk up and leave food on the ground, and having the cat to come out from the bush and eat. However when I hold onto the food, it will eventually come out and sit, and allow me to toss food near its feet. Then it will be happy to eat, and get closer and closer over time.

About being able to toss the food, the strangest thing was a time when I set food out about 10 feet from me, and when it saw me sitting nearby, it ran towards the woods, and then stopped looking at me. I was then able to collect the food, and crouch down slowly, and approach it from about 10 feet away, and toss the food to it, which it then was content to sit eating.

Sometimes, even after it has been used to eating very near me, it will still just sit in the bush and meow at me several times, until I give up, leaving the food there and go back inside. I don't understand why it has decided to communicate with me through meowing, whilst hiding at the same time? Surely after many months of feeding it outside, and it being able to eat only feet away, it would be comfortable with me by now?

Thank you!

Hi there and welcome!!

I hope I can shed some light on this behavior.

First of all, this cat is not a true feral cat, but a semi-feral, meaning at some point, very likely when it was a kitten it was owned, had regular interactions with a human.

Sometimes as they start to get bigger, especially around the time of becoming sexually mature, they start to wander when they aren't fixed, then the former owner loses interest, and assumes the cat will be fine.

As time goes by, the cat has now grown up in to the homeless, feral way of life due to total lack of interactions with humans.

So it's behavior now is fear of humans, instinctually. But there is some small amt of memory that humans aren't so bad, which is why he meows at you for food, and will allow the closeness that he does.

A true feral will never meow to a human, ever. In fact they will do their very best to never be seen or heard, to protect themselves, as they fear humans as predators.

The question of just how feral he is depends on how long he was owned and how long he has been living on his own. You will know with time, how long it takes for him to grow comfortable near you, etc.

But regardless, he will in time gain your trust.

He may be too far feral to ever be a lap cat, but this is uncertain too, it just depends on his life before you.

The best thing to do is continue doing exactly what you are doing, although at some point you really will need to trap and fix him, this will also help settle his butt down too.

Thank you very much!

Hello again!

Thank you very much for you help.

This is an update!

The last two nights have gone very well, meow meow got to eat some filet mignon that I saved after dinner, and tonight some chicken breast.

Now I'm able to sit about 3 feet from the food, and I call with the best meows I can make, and get meowed at a few times in response.

I noticed that the first set of meows seem to be like "I'm here!" then later, I have to wait a little while, and from about 10 ft away or so, I get a few more soft meows to let me know I'm being approached? Last night kitty ate the first 2 of 4 pieces of filet by taking a piece and then going a little further away to sit and eat. Then just came and ate the last 2 pieces right in front of me. I've tried to slowly blink my eyes, and even close them while sitting and looking away. I can always tell when I start to hear munching and gulping noises

After eating yellow cat goes and sits a little further away, grooming and licking their paws? Then sits quietly looking at me. I'm not sure if I was doing something good or bad, but I slowly extended my hand, even though I was about 10 ft away, and so far nothing yet as far as wanting to come and sniff or touch my hand. However, one night I set on a little chair and left it outside when I went back in. When I would shut the door, yellow cat came and sniffed the chair, so I'm not sure.

But tonight all the chicken was eaten right in front of me, and again it would sit and look at me for quite some time until I slowly opened the door and went back in.

Anyway, all seems well!

Thank you so much!

He definitely was someone's kitty at some point, poor guy! what a beautiful boy! A feral would never meow at you - this poor guy was owned at some point, probably dumped when he wasn't a "cute little kitten" anymore-unfortunately happens a lot. He's been on his own enough though to learn to be very wary of humans - but you're helping him remember humans can bring good things, like food & companionship!

Keep doing what you're doing - winning his trust- and as @catwoman707 pointed out, eventually you should trap him & fix him so he doesn't make tons of more feral babies! Plus, as an unfixed male, he's more likely to get into injury-causing fights. So keep showing him how kind (& full of food!!!) you can be & bet he'll let you get even closer soon!

Do you think eventually he could be an indoor cat with you? Always best - but know there are situations that just doesn't work.

(I think he needs a name too!)

If you are worried about him disliking, mistrusting, being afraid of you should you trap and fix him; I have been in your position many times and that has never happened! With the hormones calmed down the cats seem to be better able to "listen to their hearts". The hormones keep the fight for survival mode in control.

He is an incredibly handsome boy! If someone dumped him for not being a cute little kitten, they missed out on the gorgeous boy he became.

I have seen that expression many times; the one ear turned back with the other ear forward; the eyes, he wants interaction, he wants to trust.

You get this boy fixed and keep reaching out, you will have a friend for life.

Myself, I would trap, fix, vaccinate and put him in his own room. Fix up a space with food, water, litter box and a place to hide. Under bed, behind chair, closet, box, something where he would feel hidden, if he needs it.  That's me, what I would do.

Whatever you decide to do, this cat wants to be there. Please, please stick around, let us share this journey with you!

It rained lots yesterday, so no yellow cat visit. Tonight, however, yellow cat was back under the hawthorn bush and came to eat chicken and steak from fajitas that I brought home. I was really excited, I got a tail up with the tip curled forward approach? Also I got a meow, then I would meow back, and it would meow, and I would meow, this went on several times before he came to eat right next to me. After eating, he sat a little ways away and looked off to one side with half open eyes, and I did the whole blinking eyes thing. I think that must be true about the environment? He would actually sit looking away from me off into the distance, where the woods are.

When I slowly open the door and go back in now, he will just sit there quietly instead of running off a few feet. So things must be going pretty well. I may have messed up by bringing out some more food, chicken breast, but I made sure to slowly open the door and meow, but he went a few feet away and just looked at me as I put the food down and he decided he would rather just walk back to the hawthorn bush instead of eating more. I took the food and put it in the grass next to the bush but he didn't come out to eat, so I went back inside. I think everything is still ok though. Maybe he's well fed after all

Also I was going to ask about keeping my eyes open. I had been completely closing them while he would eat, only sneaking peaks every now and then. But since he's only a few feet from me now, I wasn't sure about how to behave now? Whenever I slowly move my hand to open the door and get up to leave it no longer bothers him.

New kitty munchie picture,

Nice pic, happy kitty chowing!

Things are going very well actually, use food as you are, to win trust, etc.

He is already beginning to trust you a bit.

Regarding looks, I don't think you need to keep your eyes shut, you just don't want to keep steady eye contact, which would be seen as a possible threat, but looking at him, and here and there, without a stare down type look is fine.