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Foster cat parent vent.....

post #1 of 11
Thread Starter 

I love what I do for these kitties and will probably do it for life, but it gets so frustrating at times.

I got a call from a girl last night that had adopted two of my foster kitties (a brother and sister pair). It turns out that she found them both to be too much and wants to return one of them to me. We do have a "trial" policy that allows them to bring a cat back within three days if things really don't work out (and of course they can bring them back anytime; but just not get their donation back). Anyways, I just think that she is jumping too quickly into this "return". I know that several cats can be overwhelming at first, but once your routine is down, it's a snap. I KNOW this girl and I know that she would be a great cat mom, she's just too emotional right now. I wish I could get people to understand that it takes time to adjust (for both you and the cats).

Sometimes people call me because the cat hides for the first couple days.....duhhhh,.....he/she's just been moved from one house to another. It takes time to adjust.

Okay, i'm off my soapbox now.

post #2 of 11
I know what you mean. It bugs me when people get upset when their cat refuses to be cuddled or refuse to site on their laps.

It's all down to patience. When i got Rosie as a kitten, i did what most cat lovers do, i spent time to 'bond' with her.

post #3 of 11
Thread Starter 
And these poor cats have been in so many places (shelters, vet offices, foster homes, etc). it just takes them a little time to get used to things.
post #4 of 11
And a few weeks after she returns one of them she will be returning the second because the one left won't let her sleep at night. I think she needs some education. Katie (TNR1) posted a great article on the need to adopt pairs within Cats SOS. Perhaps you should give that article to the adoptee.
post #5 of 11
Thread Starter 
We do actually give that article. It's very popular and posted at our local Humaine Society as well. Unfortunatly, you don't always get honest answers from people who come to visit. It's like at the Humaine Society, people bring in their pets saying that they can't keep them for one reason or another and we later find out that there is something wrong with them...etc.

It's sad. I CANNOT imagine giving up a pet; I just couldn't do it. When they become mine, they are mine for life and I'll do anything for them.

On the other hand, I just got a wonderful e-mail from a woman who adopted a little Absynnian from me a couple of months ago and she is so happy. it's wonderful to hear the success stories too.

post #6 of 11
It's amazing how many people who absolutely wouldn't dream of bringing harm to a critter, and are charmed by them from a distance, really have no understanding of what kind of commitment they are making when adopting an animal -- this is NOT just a stuffed toy that breathes. God help you if you say that to them, though! I hope you can help the person understand that it takes some time and patience, but will repay the effort a hundredfold.
post #7 of 11
I have the same problem.... everyone is in too much of a hurry. Everyone wants an instant pet they never seem to give them enough time.
post #8 of 11
Thread Starter 
8 cats,

Do you find that people never call back????

I get tons and tons of phone calls and spend alot of time explaining what my cats are like and who might be the best fit for each individual call. Then either they lie and say they'll call back and don't or I've had many actually set up times to come see cats and never show up.

I don't understand people, how hard is it just to call?

post #9 of 11
Perhaps the "trial period" should be extended to three weeks, or even better, three months, to give the people and cats time to adjust and become attached to one another? That might prevent panic reactions. We've always adopted shelter animals/rescues, and have experienced everything from snapping and/or non-housebroken dogs to unapproachable "scaredy cats" that howl the entire night. Some of the adoptees have been "perfect" from Day One, but many have had some adjustment problems. Three days, IMO, aren't enough. I know that most, if not all, shelters experience financial problems, but that policy doesn't allow the new guardians or the pets enough time to get used to one another and forge emotional bonds. If an adopter is faced with behavioral and financial problems from the very start, it's no wonder that there are "returns". Being idealistic doesn't always mean being realistic.
post #10 of 11
Thread Starter 
Originally posted by jcat
Perhaps the "trial period" should be extended to three weeks, or even better, three months, to give the people and cats time to adjust and become attached to one another?
I do agree that this would make things better, but this makes things really hard on the rescue. I'm sure that the reasoning behind it is that people will think twice before returning an animal if they can't get their donation back. This rescue is wonderful; not perfect, but truly wonderful.

UPDATE: After two more days of caring for Orca, the girl decided that she couldn't bring her back. She just fell in love with her.

I guess that's the thing about these kitties, they just worm their way into your heart.

post #11 of 11
Our shelter has a 30 day return policy. During that period the adopter can get a full refund. After that we take them back without the refund. Any person returning an animal gets a lot of coaching and counseling before they make their decision final.

We are about to get back a 4 month old puppy that the owner claims their child is "allergic" to. This puppy was adopted at 8 weeks old, and is totally out of control. We can see that they did nothing to train this puppy and can't control it - they think they can snow us with the allergy line. It's a shame people lie - they don't realize the people in rescue hear the same lines over and over again and can differentiate between the lieing and the truth. It does a disservice to the returned animal, who might be readopted with the same problems and no chance to correct bad behavior.
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