Do they ever truly become domesticated?

I have posted here previously about a feral cat I have taken in. At first he was very freaked out by everything, but we slowly got him to the point where he would come into the house and we were able to shut the door behind him. He was starting to come in every night. However, we had visitors for a week and in that time our cat seems to have reverted back to being somewhat feral. I had him in the house one morning when he first met the visitors. He completely panicked, running for the windows and trying to crash through them. I finally caught him and let him outside. He did not come in the house for the next 5 days while the visitors were there. If he saw the visitors outside, he ran away. Now the visitors are gone and he still acting very feral. He is not wanting to come up to me very much. He lets me pet him for a second and then he is off. He refuses to come in at night. He is not acting like the cuddly cat that loves attention...the one we worked for months to get to that point. Are we now going to have to start all over trying to tame him again? And will we ever get to the point that he is a domesticated cat and okay around visitors? I would love to hear of your experiences.

My ferals react very similarly.  I have 2 that will come into the house for short periods, but they are only ok with the people that live here. Whenever I have visitors they will not come inside and the visitors hardly know they even live on my deck/property.  They will never change this behavior. 

I brought a feral into my home 2 years ago.  It took him one full year to adjust to indoor living.  When people come over he hides for hours and hours.  No one every sees him. 

The ferals learn to trust certain people and fear others.  It is their nature.  I just allow them to be.  THere is no way to force them to behavior differently.  When I have visitors to the house, I make sure the cats are safe.  I ask my visitors to not seek out the cats and respect that they are afraid.  I tell the visitors that the cats will not come up to them and they will run and hide if they see them approach.  My job is just to keep the cats safe, not to force them to like or accept others. 

I doubt you will have to start all over, but there will be some back tracking.  He needs to remember that he can trust you.  Keep working with him.  Next time visitors come over, be sure he is outside or in a safe place where he will not have to see or interact with visitors. 

If you don't force him and accept his behavior, he may surprise you some day. 

Took a year of indoor love and affection. Sweetest kitteh ever now.

I think it really depends on the cat. One of my cats was feral born, came to live with us at about 9 months of age and still disappears if we have company. She's 7 years old now. Another of our cats was feral for the first 6 months of her life and comes up to guests and starts rubbing against their legs. She's just turned 2. 

I think your cat will go back to being friendly towards you once he's made sure it's really safe and your visitors have gone. 

The best thing to do is make sure he has got an escape route out of the house if you are expecting guests. That way he won't feel like he is trapped in the house with strangers and freak out. 

There is a lot to be said for having a cat that knows about Stranger Danger, he's safer trusting his feral instincts.

Some cats don't react well to visitors. Three of my five indoor cats were raised by me as kittens and are fully domesticated, but will run in a panic when someone rings my doorbell or comes into my house, and will hide upstairs under my bed until my visitor is gone. Only one of my five cats is social and will come down and visit. The two geriatric cats will come downstairs and visit my boyfriend of a decade after a few hours have passed, lol. There is no fix or cure for this. Some cats are just nervous or scared around strangers. They will eventually adjust to someone who comes over regularly.

If your cat returns inside (and hopefully he will when the weather gets cold), I would suggest that you confine him to a room by himself with his food bowl and litter box while you have guests. He will feel safer and less panicked.

With ferals, it's always a matter of occasional set backs because they're untrusting and cautious by nature. They tend to bond with their primary caregiver, and can also learn to trust, to a point, a few other regular people in their lives. They almost always return to their primary caregiver after a scare, they know instinctively they can trust the person who has been feeding and caring for them.

Thanks for your replies. Tom seems to be feeling a little more relaxed. He came in and spent the night with us again last night, though he would not go in his former room (which is where the company stayed). He also looked afraid and ready to run whenever I came out of the hallway that the company came out of that time he freaked. I hope he will settle down soon enough. He is a lovely cat when he finally relaxes.

One thing I have used for both my feral kitties and indoor kitties that have anxiety issues, is to use a product called Bach's Rescue Remedy.

--- You may look this product up on line for validity - 

I also used it for pets in an animal shelter, who were really stressed.  Not only because a shelter is a stressful environment, but also because of

whatever situation brought them to the shelter.

Rescue Remedy used by putting four drops of the remedy into a bowl of fresh water. Daily if you change the water daily.

This will help any animal in a new environment, an environment that has changed, loss of owner, abandonment, over crowding, new members in the family, loss of a best friend, etc.

Each animal is different, so the timeline to see change will be different.  I  have found from my own experience that four weeks is an average to see an initial change.  However don't stop using it when things get better. It needs to be a constant factor in your pets life.

It will not harm an animal that has no issues involved in the range of the remedy...and it will not cause problems or health issues in other animals that drink the water.

When you have time, educate yourselves in the Bach Flower Essences and Remedies.  . 

They are  amazing.

Thanks for the added info about Rescue Remedy. Tom still isn't relaxed enough to play the way he used to, but he is starting to act a lot more like his old self.

Thanks for this thread which affirms what I am seeing , or rather not seeing , here with the feral I took in from a rescue some weeks ago. I see her maybe twice a day, or rather her south end going north when she shoots out from under my bed ( am semi bedbound) at a great rate for food and tray. I console myself that she is safe, well fed and show no interest in seeking the outdoors and I am learning about ferals as the days pass..  

fannybrite said:

 
One thing I have used for both my feral kitties and indoor kitties that have anxiety issues, is to use a product called Bach's Rescue Remedy.

--- You may look this product up on line for validity - 

I also used it for pets in an animal shelter, who were really stressed.  Not only because a shelter is a stressful environment, but also because of

whatever situation brought them to the shelter.

Rescue Remedy used by putting four drops of the remedy into a bowl of fresh water. Daily if you change the water daily.

This will help any animal in a new environment, an environment that has changed, loss of owner, abandonment, over crowding, new members in the family, loss of a best friend, etc.

Each animal is different, so the timeline to see change will be different.  I  have found from my own experience that four weeks is an average to see an initial change.  However don't stop using it when things get better. It needs to be a constant factor in your pets life.

It will not harm an animal that has no issues involved in the range of the remedy...and it will not cause problems or health issues in other animals that drink the water.

When you have time, educate yourselves in the Bach Flower Essences and Remedies.  . 

They are  amazing.

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Do you think it'll help with feral kittens? There are 3 kittens (approx 5-6 weeks old) in my backyard living with their mom. The mom (been living here for a while) trusts me enough to let me handle them.  but these kittens are SCARED of me I can't touch them one bit. These days, they run as fast as they could whenever they see me or even upon hearing my voice (wttf!). I'm extremely frustrated and upset because I know socialization will be hard and will take a long freaking time. I feel like a giant monster. I had other feral kittens before and hell they weren't that scared. I rehomed them unfortunately. I wish they stayed with me instead of those.    

If they are 5-6 weeks old you can socialize them. Does mama cat come near you when you feed her? You could put a bowl of tuna or cooked chicken on the ground and sit by it. If mama comes to eat, her kittens will, too. The feral kitten I took in a few years ago was 3-4 months old. His feral papa cat would bring him to me to eat out of a bowl together and this started the socialization process. If you're able to catch the kittens it's important to start to hold and pet them even if they object. Get a laser or wand toy and try to play with them. They are young and skittish but can be socialized with patience. It's great that you're caring for them.

MsAimee said:

If they are 5-6 weeks old you can socialize them. Does mama cat come near you when you feed her? You could put a bowl of tuna or cooked chicken on the ground and sit by it. If mama comes to eat, her kittens will, too. The feral kitten I took in a few years ago was 3-4 months old. His feral papa cat would bring him to me to eat out of a bowl together and this started the socialization process. If you're able to catch the kittens it's important to start to hold and pet them even if they object. Get a laser or wand toy and try to play with them. They are young and skittish but can be socialized with patience. It's great that you're caring for them.

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Yes the mother comes when I feed her and actually rubs against my legs. but the kittens won't join her. She carries the food I've given her, goes to where kittens hide and calls them to come out and eat. I just watch from a distance. I know these kittens are very skittish much different from all the kittens I've seen . ugh! I'll try my best anyway..

Sara Hmdan said:

 
Yes the mother comes when I feed her and actually rubs against my legs. but the kittens won't join her. She carries the food I've given her, goes to where kittens hide and calls them to come out and eat. I just watch from a distance. I know these kittens are very skittish much different from all the kittens I've seen . ugh! I'll try my best anyway..

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You can still socialise them. If the mother likes you that's half the battle won. Pet  the mother cat a lot so that she gets your scent on her. Put some wet food, something Mama can't carry away, in the food bowls down on an old t-shirt of your so they learn to associate your smell with food.

Some of my cats were about 4 months old before they started trusting me, but they followed their mothers to my house to be fed and eventually I was able to get them all indoors, fixed and either adopted or living with me.

 

Norachan said:

 
You can still socialise them. If the mother likes you that's half the battle won. Pet  the mother cat a lot so that she gets your scent on her. Put some wet food, something Mama can't carry away, in the food bowls down on an old t-shirt of your so they learn to associate your smell with food.

Some of my cats were about 4 months old before they started trusting me, but they followed their mothers to my house to be fed and eventually I was able to get them all indoors, fixed and either adopted or living with me.

 

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Thanks for the tips. Unfortunately, I can't pet her she'll lash out immediately. did this before and got nasty awful bloody scratches.

Sara Hmdan said:

 
Thanks for the tips. Unfortunately, I can't pet her she'll lash out immediately. did this before and got nasty awful bloody scratches.

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But she'll rub against your legs? My boy Albert was a bit like that. He was a rescued feral kitten and I think he was almost a year old before he would let me touch him, but he'd rub against my legs. If they can see your hand coming they think it's outstretched claws coming down to attack. I got Albert used to be petted by touching his back at the base of his tail for a second while he was rubbing against me. You have to wait until they are looking the other way.



The t-shirt trick should work though.

Norachan said:

 
But she'll rub against your legs? My boy Albert was a bit like that. He was a rescued feral kitten and I think he was almost a year old before he would let me touch him, but he'd rub against my legs. If they can see your hand coming they think it's outstretched claws coming down to attack. I got Albert used to be petted by touching his back at the base of his tail for a second while he was rubbing against me. You have to wait until they are looking the other way.

The t-shirt trick should work though.

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Yes I'll try this and the t-shirt trick. Thanks