Male adult cats and kittens?

Hi, I just added a new kitten to my household. Someone threw this poor little six week old baby out into a ditch across the street from my house!

Well, after a short time separated from my other cats and a vet checkup, I decided to let her mingle with my adults. The two females weren't too pleased, but my male was the one who surprised me. He took to her immediately. He sleeps with her, bathes her, and watches over her when she wanders the house. He plays with her, but so far he has been incredibly gentle, especially for a cat his size.

Still, he is half Maine Coon and, despite his friendly and caring nature, has a very high prey drive, probably the highest I've ever seen in a cat. I don't know if I should trust him entirely, especially with all I have heard about males sometimes hurting kittens. Maybe the fact that he's neutered fixes that, but I am no expert.

Should I be worried about their playtime? I am not home a few hours a day, when I am in class. Should I keep them separated when I am away, or should I trust my boy?

I think only you can be the judge of that. Have the two been together long enough that you trust him? Is she sleeping with him all night without incident while you are there? How rough do they play?

If you have any doubts, I would separate them during the hours you are away until the kitten is older and bigger and you trust them fully while you are gone. That way you can be assured that nothing bad will happen. Better safe than sorry .

My guess is that he is pinning her down as discipline. That is how mother cats teach their babies kitten manners.

For all his macho Maine Coon-ness, he's got a soft spot for this kitten. We see this sometimes with male cats, being very "motherly" towards kittens.

How long are you gone for class?

sarthur2 said:

My guess is that he is pinning her down as discipline. That is how mother cats teach their babies kitten manners.

For all his macho Maine Coon-ness, he's got a soft spot for this kitten. We see this sometimes with male cats, being very "motherly" towards kittens.

How long are you gone for class?

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You could be onto something on the discipline thing. I should add that even though she's small, she's no angel herself. Those tiny teeth are sharp, and she likes to use them. It could be that he's trying to teach her not to hurt him. He chases her sometimes, but she likes it and often tries to taunt him into chasing her, and when he catches her, he is obviously showing restraint.

He does have a kind heart, even if he's a bit rough sometimes. He adores children, dogs, and pretty much anything else he can't mistake for prey or something to climb. He's been known to climb/jump onto people's backs, though, and chase anything that runs.

I have labs, so it varies. Usually 6-8 hours.

It sounds like he is trying to teach her manners, which is all about using "soft paws" and no teeth. It takes kittens a few weeks to learn all of this, which is why we like to see kittens stay with their moms for a good 12 weeks. She's lucky he's teaching her!

I want to say use your judgement. Cats also sleep a lot during the day. Maybe try leaving them together on one of your shorter days first? You know your big boy best, but he looks very tolerant in the picture. Go with your gut!

He's teaching her a lot of things, it seems like. She covers up her food like he does, and she's picked up his bad habits of trying to climb people, haha. Still, I'm glad he's teaching her good habits too.

I think as long as I don't leave them along for too long when she's so little and watch them, they should be okay. He's a special cat, and I know he's just being loving. I simply worry that he doesn't know his own strength sometimes.

is he neutered?   If so, just be happy.

It can be touchy with intact toms - sometimes they get for themselves its an unusual small lady visiting them.

StefanZ said:

 
is he neutered?   If so, just be happy.

It can be touchy with intact toms - sometimes they get for themselves its an unusual small lady visiting them.

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Yeah, he was neutered at 6 months, as to prevent spraying and other behavioral problems.

MistyDawn said:

Hi, I just added a new kitten to my household. Someone threw this poor little six week old baby out into a ditch across the street from my house!

Well, after a short time separated from my other cats and a vet checkup, I decided to let her mingle with my adults. The two females weren't too pleased, but my male was the one who surprised me. He took to her immediately. He sleeps with her, bathes her, and watches over her when she wanders the house. He plays with her, but so far he has been incredibly gentle, especially for a cat his size.

Still, he is half Maine Coon and, despite his friendly and caring nature, has a very high prey drive, probably the highest I've ever seen in a cat. I don't know if I should trust him entirely, especially with all I have heard about males sometimes hurting kitsten. Maybe the fact that he's neutered fixes that, but I am no expert.

Should I be worried about their playtime? I am not home a few hours a day, when I am in class. Should I keep them separated when I am away, or should I trust my boy?

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As you describe it, I think the situation is the best possible in this situation. Him being a good hunter is no danger, it means, he will teach her to be a good hunter too, if that is your wish.  

So, really, it couldnt be better foster situation, especielly as he is neutered, so some potential dangers are no longer here.

This with males sometimes hurting kittens is in part true, and it  is in two versions.

1, which I hinted, an intact tom, perhaps even essentially friendly,  isnt sure what is played, and think its an unusually small lady visiting.  And mates / rapes.  HOW dangerous it is, Im not sure.  Some tells horryfied its rapes to death.  But my breeding friends, although warning for this possibility, werent THAT horryfied.  However, its of course nothing we want to happen.

2. Intact toms, whom kills the kittens, to cause the mom to come into heat again, and mate her...   Not that common, but apparently it happens now and then, especielly among the ferales.   Home cats are usually pals, so the danger is rare in home situations.

I have even read the custom of females letting many males mating her, is a way of nature to ensure none of the present toms will hurt her kittens.

A tom being good friend with the mom, wont harm her kittens, and sometimes even acts as a helping mom, the kittens his biological children or not..   So it seems, the toms dont recognize the kittens as theirs, they do recogize the female, as either friend, or someone they had mated....

But this nr 2 is not actual here, we dont have any female to entice into heat, thus, no point with harming the kitten...

Enjoy the situation!

Thanks for the informative and thoughtful post, Stephan. Very educational!

Yes, after the input I have gotten here, I think I was most likely being a tad overprotective of my new little baby. Hex, my boy, hasn't really given me a good reason to distrust him other than his high prey drive and tendency to pester my mother's elderly cat when I petsit her. But she is easily agitated in her old age and he has never actually hurt her. Otherwise, he is a very loving and caring guy with a big heart. He's extremely friendly with other cats, dogs, and humans, especially children. I have never seen a cat that actually seeks out children when they're nearby, but he does. It seems like he may be a natural nurturer, and I should appreciate his kindness. I will still supervise them when I can, but I think their bond is a good thing, not something to worry about.

It's really pretty adorable; I can say "Hex, where's your baby?" and, if she isn't immediately visible, he will search until he finds her and snuggle or lick the tiny little lady. I think he really cares for her greatly, and that's stronger than his predatory instinct. She loves him too, so hopefully he will make being away from her mother at such a young age a bit easier for her.

Hex sounds like he would be a great therapy cat.

Handsome Kitty said:

 
Hex sounds like he would be a great therapy cat.

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Well, he's certainly never met a stranger. In fact, I'd say he's a very intelligent cat that thrives on novelty. He bores easily and that's one reason he can be a handful sometimes. Because of this, he has his bad habits. He has the tendency to try and ride people like horses at every opportunity. His favorite thing is to hop on my back when I'm leaning over to do something and nuzzle against my cheek from my shoulder. But that's really the only bad habit he has that involves people, I think. He can claw and bite when he's in one of his playful moods, but, like with my new baby, he shows visible restraint; his claws aren't even out.

His outgoing and loving personality may make up for his quirks, though, if that behavior can be reined in a bit. He loves cuddling and petting so much that, when he gets into a really, really snuggly mood, he puffs the fur on his tail and back up as if he's afraid, but he isn't. His nose even starts running (no, it's not drool, I've checked.) He's just so passionate about cuddling that he gets the equivalent of goosebumps from it. When I come home from class, he'll often stand up on his hind legs and put his front paws on me like a dog would. This is how he "asks" to be held. When I pick him up, he wraps his arms around me, rests his head on my shoulder, and purrs into my ear. He's really something special. I've been considering trying to harness-train him so I can take him out on walks. I think he'd love getting to see new places and new people.

He sounds like a real sweetie pie!  My old cat was like that with me but she hated strangers.  She was mostly afraid of them but could be mean.  We did harness train her but we couldn't take her for walks.  We just took her into the backyard and sort of let her dictate where we went.

I hope your females accept your new kitten soon and that there can be peace in your house.