cat hiding

Someone please help me! I have a female cat about 2 years old that I got about 3 months ago from the SPCA. At first, she loved both me and my husband. Now I don't know what is going on. My husband has done nothing to my cat and all of a sudden, Maggie will have nothing to do with my husband. When my husband walks into a room, she climbs up on my lap and the ears go down. When I am not at home, she hides either under the bed or in the bathtub. I do not know what to do. My husband has tried just ignoring her and it seemed to work for a little while, but now she is back to her old behavior. I do not know what else to do. I feel really sorry for the cat because she is so scared when he is home. Please help me if you can!

Hi Ann welcome to the board-

It could possibly be that your husband did hurt her and may not even be aware of it. He could have stepped on her, shut her tail in the door, or scared her in some way to put her on edge with him. It could have been done at night, when he was so sleepy he has no memory of it for she is certainly responding as if he has hurt or scared her.

I would first of all if you husband is willing, have him take over feeding her all the time. Have him, when he is around her, on the floor sitting so as not being such a threat. Even little things like removing his shoes when he is around her will help. Tell him not to look her in the eyes when she is around, look past her and not to get stressed when she goes into her "leave me alone mode."

I hope you are right, that he would not intentionally hurt her. I remember an instance last year where a member swore her boyfriend would never hurt her cat, and then one day walked in on them and he was hitting the cat! Turned out, he was jealous of the attention she was giving the cat instead of giving it to him. She booted bf out the door. I am not saying your husband is doing this, just mentioning it, because of the posturing of the cat when he enters the room.

Also using a Comfort Zone Room diffuser will help made by Farnum Pet- it will help ease the stress of this cat.


Good luck!

I have a thought. Is your husband loud? Cat's ears are much more sensitive than ours & perhaps he is loud enough that it makes the cat scared or uncomfortable.

Sometimes I do get on to him because he goes around the house clapping his hands, making noises, and singing really loud. I told him that might scare the cat, because I had read that also about their ears. I am just wondering if the damage is already done, will she be afraid of him always?

That would do it all right. He needs to tone it down a bit if he wishes to make any headway with this cat. They tend to dislike loud people.


Good luck!

Thanks for your advice, we'll try it!

I can sympathize! Our new cat Magellan is so scared of my husband it has been a little over two months now and hubby still has not pet him yet! if he even walks towards Mags, the cat will run. we think he may have been abused by a man before he came to us.

anyway, good luck with your situation!

Originally posted by hissy
That would do it all right. He needs to tone it down a bit if he wishes to make any headway with this cat. They tend to dislike loud people.

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Found that to be true for my Penny and my bf who tends to be loud more often than necessary. When he's speaking at a loud decibel, you can look at Penny's face and easily see her caution level has risen.

When he's 'normal' she's still got a bit of reserve, but she'll allow bf to pet her under the chin (which makes his day, he says )

I'm still astounded that my loud vacuum cleaner doesn't scare Penny at all

Don't give up on your kitty just yet. It may take time, but if he try's his best to lower his voice (I have a father who tends to be a loud person so I know they don't always realize what they are doing) & also not moving too quickly helps, you'll make headway. The truth is you don't know what happend to her before she came to you, someone may have mistreated her so keep that in mind & be paitent. I always like to tell people imagine being plucked from your home by someone who speaks a completely differnt language, taken to a shelter, & then taken to a new home. They have no idea what has happend to them & cats don't like change. So time, love & kindness are the only ways to get kitty to let down her gaurd.

If your husband is loud, such as walking loudly (ex my stepdad sounds a herd of elephants walking through the house) This may cause the cat to shy away...or it could be she just likes you better, you know cats are funny that way, some of them are very one person. But I'm no expert I just draw from the experience with my stepdads cats

Well my son is ADHD 15 years old . Let me tell you that there is hope for your cat . My son is the laudest person I ever meet and he can drive me nutts . He can walk through the house and clapping his hand and make laud noises at the same time . Sometimes he walks through the house and knocks on every wall in the haus like it is a drum . Did I tell you he drive me nutts . How ever , the cats know him . So when he is doing that they stay away from him , but will come out after he is done . He can pet the cats and they don't mind him . He is not doing that all the time now , but often and enough to make me crazy . I personal love it quiet and kind of react like my cats . What I try to say is this , cats can get used to it . I said can , some may never will . But your husband just needs to learn if he wants to be laud to go outsite and do it there . We used to have a a bag to box and kick in the bag yard where my son can get his what ever out of him and has helped . I got to thinking maybe you husband/boyfriend is also ADHD ? If he gets that way , he could do some jogging or running and helps a great way .