New home. New owners. Scared girl.

First of all hi. This seems like a loving community of owners. Now first things first. I have a 6 year old cat called roxy. We found roxy when she was about to be sent to a shelter because her previous owner was moving to assisted living and couldn't take her with her.

Now we have has her since Tuesday and me and partner where just looking for some advice to make this easier for our girl. She is hiding whenever we are in the house. And running around when we are not. She has hissed when we approached her. only the once this has happened. But she is eating and she is using the litter tray.

Am I expecting too much to soon or shall I just leave her to come out her shell.

We were told new people frighten her but with the combination of a new home. We are just wondering during if you have any advise to make this easier for our girl.

Here she is. I didn't take this her old owner did.

By the way my name is Declan. Thanks in advance

You are expecting too much. Its only been 3 days. When you look at some of the threads here, some cats takes weeks-months to adjust.

Solution is to let her come to u when shes ready. Or entice her with play time.

I agree. It hasn't been that long. There really isn't anything you can do to make it any easier for her, other than making sure her surroundings are calm and quiet. She will adjust according to her own timetable. When I first got Bailey, she hid on a shelf in my laundry room for two or three days. She would take treats out of my hand while on that shelf, but would only come out to use the litter box and eat food when I was elsewhere. But after a couple of days, as I was sitting at my computer doing something or other, she must have decided I was safe, because she came out and jumped into my lap. After that, she was a cuddly, playful, lovely companion. But coming out from the safe place had to be on her terms, when she was ready.

Abby, the cat I have just adopted, by contrast, never hid - she boldly checked out every inch of my place and pretty much made herself at home.

Bailey was always a bit timid. Abby isn't in the slightest. I'm sure that is part of it as well. In addition to personality, I imagine circumstances are a factor. Bailey was adopted as a kitten and lived in the same household for five years before she came to live with me, so to have to get used to a new place and person was a big adjustment. The rescue organization who had Abby doesn't know much about her background, other than that she was found with kittens.  So in her short life she was somewhere, then abandoned, had kittens, was found and taken into one foster home with the kittens, then when the kittens were old enough to be on their own, moved to another foster home, then was being taken back and forth to spend the day in a room at a second hand store run by the rescue organization. All that before she came to live with me - so she took coming here in her stride.

Roxy is six and came from a one person home, an older person who probably had a quiet lifestyle. She now is in a new place and has two people to adjust to. So she needs a little time to process it all. Understandable.

Thanks for the advice. I know I'm not expecting miracles. She has a safe place. We are respecting that safe place. She sounds just like how you described Bailey. So I think that's probably the best thank you

I'm just a new owner who wants to create the best possible place for her. We have had other cats here before but they just walked in like they owned the place.

But not had much experience with the timid /hiding cat.

Ditto on the food out of hand Abbybaby. Annabel feels more comfortable at some times of day lilike that. Being separated from m for a time she needs it more. Usually when she wakes me from sleep to eat. Daytime is sleep time. Adjustment is perhaps like a child who's been just out of foster care into a new home in your case Declan. Yes give her time to feel her way. Comfort spots about the home will be found as they will. The best thing you can do for her is be there for her with lots of love. The mommy she knew is gone and thats harsh. Some people dont think cats or dogs feel in the same way humans do but we know they do. I hope you found out which is her favorite foods and maybe you were able to bring the smell of theold home into yours, but that would've had to be thought of in advance unless you can still get something that smells like her old mommy that you can bring into your home. Time and effort will pay off. She's adorable.

Roxynewparents said:

I'm just a new owner who wants to create the best possible place for her. We have had other cats here before but they just walked in like they owned the place.

But not had much experience with the timid /hiding cat.

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I'm facing the opposite learning curve - Abby is proving to be a very confidence little creature. When I would take Bailey to the vet, she would press up against me and wouldn't even take her favorite treats from me. Abby, on the other hand, was exploring the entire examination room, trying to play with anything she found that wasn't tied down and readily accepted treats the vet offered her. Completely different personalities. One thing about the shy ones - once they accept you, it is pretty much unconditional and gratifyingly loyal - at least it was with my girl. Abby, on the other hand would probably "love" anyone who will play with her and/or give her treats. Each type has its merits.

Well thank you guys for the advice. We got a feliway and ignored her most of the day and low and behold she came out. Ate and then left to go sit on the window sill. Very happy right now. Thanks for the advice.

Nice. That makes me happy. Thanks to my lovely Bailey who I still miss terribly, I have a soft spot for the shy ones.

Im glad adjustment is coming along.

Bless you and your partner for taking Roxy in.  When DH and I adopted Daisy, she hated us.  She even hated the name I gave her.  If I would say "Daisy" she would put her ears back and switch her tail.  She was sort of an extreme case; I believe she had been abused before she came to be with us.  She was especially afraid of men, and most cats just love DH.  It took a few months, but eventually she warmed up to us.  We've had her several years and she is a completely different cat.  She loves people now...if I ask for a "kiss" she touches noses with me.  She is my constant companion.  Right now, she is walking in front of my computer screen, not happy that I am ignoring her.

I think Roxy will continue to warm up as she adjusts to her new home.  It's a wonderful thing you have done for her.   

You are doing very well to have her out and about in a matter of a few days. Her world has been turned upside down, her person is gone, it all smells and looks different - she is probably eating different food and using different litter. In these circumstances I have had cats who went behind the sofa and stayed there for 6 months. I have a kitten right now who was thrown out of a car in our village and who, four months later, is just brave enough to come down from a high bookcase to eat with the others and to sleep for awhile in her favourite spot on a window ledge. She will play with a wand toy but I can't actually touch her yet. All cats have their own history and their own personalithy and we have to adjust to them. Good luck, it sounds as if Daisy will be just fine.

Great Job!!  I usually try to get a cat to associate me with food, usually by giving him/her about 6 small meals a day...about as much as you would normally feed her daily, but split up into six mini meals. This keeps them well fed but also they look forward to being fed and small meals keep them from getting too full in one sitting. After providing food for a day or two (and leaving them alone between feedings) I try to do something that will keep me busy and sitting down (or snoozing) near the cat. Typically, the cat will come out and look around a little as long as it is quiet and without too much activity around, hence reading or working on the computer. This allows them to observe you without you focusing on them, which tends to makes them nervous. I am usually surprised to feel a cat coming out and rubbing against my leg, typically without warning. Cats seem to do the opposite of what you want them to do. Trying to hurry the "Get Acquainted" period usually makes it longer and more difficult. Ignoring a cat seems to make them come out and find out why they are being ignored!  

    Cats thrive on routines and don't like to draw attention to themselves...until they like you, at which point they won't leave you alone! Slow and steady wins the feline race. Making eye contact can make some cats skittish, especially if they are somewhat feral, since predators will focus on their prey. Once your cat trusts you a little more, as evidenced by stretching or rolling over near you, slow eye blinks can really cement a cat's trust in you if they are receptive to it...if you aren't aware of this trick, do a quick search on it in the forums...it really works!

   Keep up the good fight!

Jim 

In general I think J Markitel? Cats are kinda like autistic children in that way. Less eye contact the better at certain times. Other times they want you to look at and interact with them. No eye contact is better when it comes to hesitance when eating.

The advice has been amazing guys. She is slowly coming out of her shell. We are just doing our best and she just is a nervous cat. Any who. Slow eye blink. We shall try that and I'll let you know. She moved to the window sill today

Slow blink. .. . . . Slow blink. .. . . Amazing. currently on the floor with her. She is purring her head off.

Gaining the trust - so rewarding. Happy for you all.

Declan is beautiful! She reminds me of my Sgt. Pepper. I've had him since he was a kitten and he is scared of other people too. My other black cat is as well. I kinda have a theory that most black cats are that way. I also think once they trust you, they are the sweetest, cuddliest cats. I agree that it can take several weeks or months for a cat to adjust to a new home. You can't rush her adjustment. Surely Declan is missing her human and everything probably smells strange in her new surroundings. I would talk to her while feeding her and give her space. Good progress with her coming out to enjoy the window.

Here is Sgt. Pepper snuggling with me.

Roxynewparents said:

Am I expecting too much to soon or shall I just leave her to come out her shell.

 

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It took 6 months for my second cat, Elsa, to allow me to pet her without running away in fear. I respected the distance she wanted, made sure i fed her, gave her treats. I would try to pet her, but if she was afraid, i would back away, and speak in a soothing tone. I never forced affection on her. Weird thing is she is affection towards my mom from the beginning. But then again, she sleeps in my moms room. lol

My point is to be patient. Try to be the one that feeds her and cares for her.

I also posted on this board desperately wondering why my new cat hated me. She wouldnt follow me even when i had food in my hands, she would meow at my mom until my mom would take it to her.

Now she follows me,  meows when she sees me, and gets belly up so i can rub her belly. The patience really does pay off. She doesnt like being carried though, but she does allow me to carry her for a moment before she meows to get down. I have a hilarious photo of her with her mouth open meowing, it almost looks like shes yelling to be let go. I want her to get used to being carried, so when i clip her nails, she wont know when its coming and wont run when i go to carry her.