spiteful cat? how do i break the bad behavior?

back in february, my bf decided to foster his sisters 2 yr old cat named Darlene. she is spayed, and she is a friendly cuddly kitty.  before i moved in with my bf in march, he had my oldest cat Kitty with him until i moved in with my 2 other cats who hadnt been introduced to Kitty yet. well kitty,oreo, and Darlene get along well. and my other cats morris and oreo get along well with kitty. but around april, darlene decided to start picking fights with my unfixed male, morris. she also started to literally leave piles of poo and puddles of pee everywhere BUT the litter box. ive tried crating her and she sprays bad like how a male cat would and it is the worst smell. i even tried locking her in the bathroom where both litter boxes are, one uncovered becuz 2 of my 3 cats wont use a covered one, and a covered one which is my bfs sisters. and even with completely clean litter boxes, she would leave dozens of puddles and piles all over. she hasnt used a litter box since april. many times she went into my bedroom and pooped all over my clothes i had on closet shelves and armoire. my bf and i keep her out pretty much full time unless she wants in to eat and get water. if we dont,we end up with our furniture, tables, stove, sink, dish cabinet, shelves, tv, pretty much everywhere full of poo and pee puddles. she has also chewed up and shredded clothes and we have had to replace furniture and rugs becuz it was so bad that it ruined them. she has been with us long enuff that she is trying to take over and dominate my cats. and i am worried about this situation becuz my cat Kitty is about to have kittens. morris is the father and hes been so loving to kitty. i know my cats wont be a problem, but i cant handle having a cat around that is acting like darlene is.i am breaking up fights between her and morris almost daily. he tries to get away and she picks at him and beats up on him causing my other cats to defend him. i know shes doing this becuz she misses her owner. and its probably also a dominance things. i give her the same amount of love, attention, and care as i do mine. but nothing seems to work. and its starting to get cold where i live and i would feel awful having her outside. for a month after i caught darlene making messes, right in front of me knowing i was watching her, my bf kept saying that female cats dont spray and he was blaming my poor morris who has never sprayed until he kept catching her in the act. darlene has wooped up on my morris so bad that a few times he lost control of his bladder. when she is outside, she roams and goes around trying to beat up neighbors small dogs and eating their dog food. she is acting very territorial to everything but people.  what can i do about this?

Hello!  I just joined the site too, but saw this before I got around to writing my own post.    

How many litter boxes do you have in the house?  Especially since you're having compatibility issues, there should be one box per cat plus one.  That's five.  If needed, put in more.  Give Darlene every possible opportunity to perform the right behavior.  Also, look into other issues that could cause a cat to miss the box, such as litter type or smell.  The boxes should be cleaned very frequently as well, even if you have lots in the house - twice a day, especially until you see an improvement in your situation.

Darlene is not picking fights or missing the litter box because she's being spiteful.  Even though it might seem that way to us, animals don't really do the "spite" thing.  It does, however, sound like she's very uncomfortable with her situation these days.  There's a lot going on - four cats, right?  And it sounds like two of them are unfixed and one is pregnant?  I can't blame Darlene for being stressed.  What we see as a "bad cat" is really a very freaked out kitty who can't sort out her social situation to her liking.

How many rooms are in your apartment/house?  I'd put a litter box in every room, and some "cat-friendly" structures like a kennel crate, box, or tree, so that every cat has the chance for privacy.  Lots of feeding and watering stations as well.  Give Darlene, and all the other cats, the opportunity to have their own safe and secure spaces in your home.  

I know you'll hear it from others, but also, please consider getting your other kitties fixed as soon as possible.  The upcoming litter of kittens ain't gonna make your situation any easier, that's for sure!

i currently have 4. 2 in the bathroom, one in the bedroom, and one in my office room. oreo and morris prefer to share a litter box tho.

my kitty is pregnant, and morris and oreo arent fixed.

i have 4 food bowls and 4 water bowls. ive told her owner that she needs to either get her cat or let me adopt her so we can try to fix it. she sits in the window most of the time and cries. she normally does get along well with my girls. but she seems sometimes afraid of morris even tho he stays away from her and she comes up and attacks.

ive never had a cat that would actually go and poop and pee on everything before. i once caught her in my sink and cabinets pooping and peeing on clean dishes.

since day 1 she has picked on morris for no reason. its been 7 months of this.

morris and kitty are expecting kittens becuz morris somehow managed to get her thru the crate and got kitty. only way i see it is its a big crate and he must have put his paws on the crate and she put her backside to the door. i wanted to get morris vasectomized but i cant find a vet in my area to do it. i plan to get oreo fixed, and when kitty weens her kittens, shes getting fixed too.

the situation of darlene trying to dominate and take the food from other cats hasnt stopped except for me putting her outside. when shes inside, even tho she herself doesnt use the litter box ever, she tries to keep the others from using the boxes too. she also is greedy with food and will eat up hers, and then force the others away from their food and water dishes. neighbors have said she eats up their dogs food and a friend who lives 9 houses down from me said darlene goes to their house and eats up their outdoor cats and dogs food and picks on their cats too. so shes roaming and has sorta taken over. she howls like shes in heat all the time too and of course shes fixed. but fixing her didnt stop roaming, or aggression. i believe she is the cause of disappearing cats in the area too. becuz when she started being out full time, neighbors have had missing cats so i assume she is scaring them off. she sometimes stays gone for 3 or 4 days before  howling at the door to come in and  scarf down the other cats food and then darting back outside. shes obviously eating outside becuz she has put on weight.and before my bf and i started watching her, she had never pottied anywhere but the litter box and she lived with other cats before.

ive given this cat much more care than a person normally would for a cat they are watching. ive done the grooming, the 100% care. and i cant afford it anymore. the owner has never bought food or litter and for this one cat im spending so much more. i dont want her cooped up in a crate. the only time i use it is if my morris gets in a mood or if my girls are in heat. ive had to replace so much stuff that she destroyed. it looks to me like the owner isnt gonna get her cat becuz the owner has a bf who is an animal abuser and has seriously harmed animals in the past.

I get from your post that you're pretty fed up with Darlene's behavior.  That's normal because it's really frustrating to have your stuff messed up!  But unless you can stop seeing Darlene as your enemy - or greedy, aggressive, "taking over," or any other label, I don't think you'll have any chance of success in rehabilitating her.  

Again, I can't blame her for her behavior, seriously.  Oreo isn't fixed either?  That's the scent of two unaltered females and one unaltered male permeating the house, plus their physical presence.  You said that she was basically a good cat before she came to you?  No litter box issues, and she dealt with other cats?  It's clear that Darlene isn't the problem, as awful as her behavior is right now.  Her current situation is making her behave this way.  She's a very stressed out cat whose needs aren't being met in some important way.

It seems like you've done a lot for this cat and have tried to fix her behavior.  You deserve a pat on the back for that!  And there are still things you can do to make her more comfortable in your home.  You're not out of options yet!  But you also have to ask yourself if you're really committed to going all the way, and nobody should fault you if you aren't.  There is no magic fix for this problem.  It also won't make you a bad person if you have to find Darlene a home where she can be happy.  She isn't even your cat; can someone else foster her?  I'm suggesting it for her own sake.  That perfect kitty is still in Darlene, but she might need a quieter situation for a while to relieve her stress and maybe another household is a better option.  Also, the more time she spends outside, the more likely she is to get hurt.  You already know that it's not a permanent solution.  

Like I said, there are more options - more litter boxes, visual barriers, private areas, play therapy, pheromone sprays, etc etc etc. But if you're not comfortable investing the time and money to solve the behavior, including fixing your unaltered cats, it's also not fair to keep Darlene in a situation where she can't live up to her potential.

apparently there is no one else who can or will watch her. her owner, my bfs sister, hasnt done a thing to help with buying food or litter. 3goes thru a regular sized bag of food a day. i had my cats at a relatives until i got settled into my bfs place. but she was even doing the mess making before my cats came along. ive discussed it with my bf and he says she doesnt do anything wrong even when he has caught her doing it. she actually has came up, and sprayed or pooped right on the couch or the table in front of us. the neighbors are kinda fed up with her going and eating up their animals food. and i always have the bowls filled. where darlene was staying at before she came to me, there werent other cats and she did this behavior. my bf says to just leave her outside if i dont wanna clean up after her. but he complains when he brings her in and she poops and sprays on his clothes and other stuff. i told him its his responsibility and if she continues to not get along with my cats or if she keeps causing issues for neighbors animals, she will have to go somewhere else. its stressful cleaning up tons of puddles and piles every single day. she has started refusing to go outside at night. and i dont let my cats out at night. so when shes inside, my 3 run straight to my office area and stay clear of her. i feel bad becuz i know she does miss her owner. but her owner says "idk" whenever i ask when shes getting her cat. ive asked multiple vets about her behavior and they said shes been in my home long enuff that she is trying to establish dominance over mine. and it doesnt help that my bf praises her and rewards her for the behavior either.  none of my cats have ever done this. they make every attempt to try to be friendly and share with her.

i forgot to add to my last post that i recently asked other people who fostered her and they said she acted this way. and they didnt have animals at all. my bf isnt gonna help find someone else to take her in. the only time she hasnt done it was when her owner had her. vets also say its odd for a spayed female to act this way.

You mention that you've talked with several vets about Darlene's behavior. Has she actually been to a vet to rule out any underlying health issues? Also, I gather she hasn't been spayed? Spaying often helps with behavior issues.

Another thing you might try is to plug in a few Feliway Diffusers. These are rather expensive - one of the best prices is at Amazon. They emit a pheromone that calms many cats and were developed specifically to deter spraying by stressed cats. I agree with other comments that Darlene is terribly stressed out right now.

It is completely unreasonable for your bf's sister to neglect her responsibilities towards Darlene the way she is. You should not have to be bearing the brunt of all the clean-up and the stress it puts on you. Not helping pay for her cat is wrong as well, unless she really has no income. I'm wondering if the best thing for everyone, humans and cats, is to find Darlene another home. She needs someone who can devote the necessary time and effort to resolving her issues, ideally in an environment free of other cats.

I'm sorry you are all going through this. A cat who won't use her box and who fights the other cats is very difficult to cope with and I wish you the best in getting this under control. If she is going to stay with you, and finances permit, you might want to consider consulting with a cat behaviorist.

One other option that might help - ask the vet about medication. Some of our members have reported success in dealing with behavior problems when their kitties were put on medications like Prozac or Xanax. This is generally a last resort when you have tried everything else.

And finally, one last thing... Be sure you are cleaning up with one of the enzymatic cleaners like Nature's Miracle to ensure you get out all the smell. Cats can smell even trace amounts of urine that our noses can't detect so it is important to use something that will actually break down the waste molecules. You might have to really drench the carpet as urine may have soaked into the padding.

darlene is fixed.  she has no health issues. she had an ear infection a month ago, but thats long been taken care of.  the only one she tries to beat up on is my male, morris.  all 3 of my cats act friendly towards her. she does occasionally play with my 2 females, but if she so much as sees morris, she growls, hisses, and attacks. he sticks to the couch in my office area where she wont go. if she tries to attack morris, my other 2 defend him. im just at a loss as to why she is spraying like a male cat? i thought my morris was spraying, but i actually caught her many times doing it. and it leaves a horrible smell that smells much worse than male cat pee. it also stains and ruins fabric beyond cleaing or repair.  a few times i locked her in the bathroom where i have 2 boxes, one covered and one uncovered, both completely clean, and she still didnt use them. she ruined the bathroom. i couldnt even step in there without having to pick up poo and mop up everything. its even more of an issue when she climbed in my high kitchen cabinets to poop and pee on the cups and plates. when she acts up and tries to get mean towards morris, i tell her sternly "no" and she runs off and hides in a window behind a curtain and leaves him alone the rest of the day. she only seems to bother him and cause issues when i am awake, i guess theres no issues when im asleep. once, darlene climbed on me when i was napping on the couch, and woke me up. she kept doing this meow and growl noise at me and all of a sudden, she pooped and peed on me. thankfully i was covered with a blanket but she sprayed bad enuff that it ruined the blanket and the couch. when shes outside, she likes to leave messes on the neighbors porches. its an everyday thing. 

Wow. Darlene is acting out more than any other cat I've ever read about. By now this is habitual behavior so she probably needs to be retrained to use a litter box. However, I would definitely first talk to the vet about medication. Depending on the medication, it might take a few weeks to reach maximum effect so it would be worth getting the Felliway Diffusers in the meantime.

There are litter attractants you can get to encourage Darlene to use her litter box - the one I see recommended frequently is Dr. Elsey's (available on amazon).

Poor Morris being bullied. This kind of situation usually calls for reintroducing the cats. We've got some good articles on it here but I can't link on my phone. Search for Cat Introductions for articles and threads on this topic. Since the first step would involve keeping Darlene in a separate room, this might be a good time to use the Feliways diffusers and litter attractant.

I'm not an expert on these things by any means and maybe someone with more experience will stop by but these are at least a few ideas. This has to be a terribly frustrating situation!

the fighting hasnt gotten severe and i hope it doesnt. its usually just her swatting him and cornering him without extracting her claws. all it does to morris is makes his fur poof out and him crying like hes terrified. she hasnt done it for a couple days. tonight i had morris next to me on the couch and darlene climbed in my lap and growled at him. so i sternly told her "no" and put her off my lap onto the other side of me and held her. morris sniffed at her and licked her face and she stopped growling. its been almost a yr and im unsure what to do. ive tried so hard to let her know that shes just as loved as the others. i put all the food and water dishes in the same place, my kitchen. they all seem to be able to eat in the same area. no messes today other than one of the kitties dumping their cat food on the floor. the main things im worried about is how darlene will react when Kitty has her kittens.

It's really hard to know how Darlene will react when the kittens come along. Since mama and babies should ideally be kept in a quiet secluded spot for a few weeks, she might not exhibit any worse behavior than she does now. Still, I would urge you to consider using Feliway diffusers and exploring the issue of medication with your vet. You can also try calming drops, like Composure that go in her food.

I wish I had more ideas. I feel sorry for you and poor Morris who are bearing the brunt of this behavior. He sounds like a real sweetie. I think showing her you love her, as you do, is an excellent idea. She does sound very insecure.

Maybe Morris's hormones are why she fights with him specifically. Morris really should be neutered. There is no reason for him to remain intact especially if you don't want more kittens. When Kitty has her babies she can go into heat soon after they are born. This could result in another litter if you don't keep Morris completely separate from her and her babies. He might not get picked on as much once his male hormones aren't there as a threat.

Obviously Darlene should be the responsibility of her owner. Alas the owner is clearly not very responsible especially if she's not paying for the care of her cat. Were your cats and her introduced slowly to start with? Or were they just put together in the same space and made to work it out? This is not a great way to have a household that remains calm. 

Here are the articles on introducing cats the right way:

[article="32680"]How To Successfully Introduce Cats The Ultimate Guide​[/article]

[article="29726"]Introducing Cats To Cats​[/article]  

Of course, what Darlene is doing is caused by something beyond your cats, but this is clearly an extra stressor for her. She is one very upset cat and rightful so since her owner has essentially abandoned her. I agree with seeking out vet help to medicate her or reduce stress in whatever way possible (Felliway, Rescue Remedy, any other natural remedies). 

I am truly impressed that you've managed to put up with her behavior for this long. It sounds so difficult.

it took some time to introduce them. she immediate became friendly towards my 2 females. but since day 1, she has just disliked morris .whenever he goes into one of his hormonal moods, i put him in the crate or outside. depending on what time of day it is. the past couple days shes been tolerable of him. shes stopped beating him up. but she still growls at him. hes been acting a bit weird lately becuz of kitty being pregnant. shes getting ready to have them and she can barely move or groom herself so hes taken over with grooming her. darlene stays clear of the nesting box area but hasnt caused any problems for a couple days now. not sure if its temporary or not. she has at least been getting her poo to the box. not in it, but at least on the litter mat so i can easily clean it. i get the feeling the owner just dont want her cat at all. she would rather have an animal abuser,who i witnessed harming an animal, that shes only know for a few months rather than have her cat that shes had for 2 yrs.

i am currently in search of a vet that will vasectomize morris instead of remove his testicles.he doesnt have any signs of sexual aggression. and he has not once ever sprayed or made a mess anywhere. vets in my area charge around $300 or more to do the old fashioned neutering. and other vets say they do vasectomies but wont do it without testicle removal. he gets occasional utis and all the vets i talked to say there is a risk to his health and it could cause further issues if he were to get neutered. but these same vets want to neuter him even tho it is a helth risk to him. i am getting my females fixed tho. morris didnt even bother my younger female who just got out of heat. 

Cats don't have well-defined heat cycles like dogs, and if a male mates with her while she isn't in heat, she can still get pregnant (induced ovulation). So it would be best to keep him away from the unfixed females altogether. Do try to get the younger cat spayed very soon, and don't let him around the mama cat after the babies are born because cats can get pregnant again right after giving birth. There may some low-cost spay clinics in your area if finances are what's keeping you from getting it done.

I don't believe UTIs are made worse by neutering---breeders have UTI issues with their breeding males as well. If he's prone to UTIs, feed him only canned food (for the moisture) and encourage him to drink as much as you can. Water intake makes a big difference. But neutering shouldn't make a difference. He may start spraying later, when he gets to the age of social maturity. Vasectomy is a legitimate choice if you're 100% sure you can live with a tomcat for the rest of his life, but be prepared for some sexual behaviors to pop up as he gets older. Plus it's hard to find a vet who does vasectomies and they usually cost more than a neuter too. Neutering him might make Darlene a little nicer to him, but no guarantees. Some cats don't like other cats so it might just be her personality and not the hormones.

Has Darlene gotten a full check-up from the vet? A female cat's urine shouldn't smell so strong so I suspect something is wrong. Unless she's expressing her anal glands, but that would be brown liquid so you'd see that, I think.

darlene is 2 yrs old and spe was spayed as a kitten. morris just turned a yr old. oreo will be a yr old soon. and kitty is 1 or 2 yrs old. not sure of her age since i got her friend. kitty has made a nest in my room and she also decided to make a nest in the kitchen. im hoping she has them in my bedroom that way i can at least keep the other cats from her and the kittens. i am getting oreo fixed first becuz when she went into heat, she got very aggressive even tho i kept other cats from her. i told darlenes owner that she had had an ear infection and i explained her behavior and all she said was "she wont do that becuz shes fixed" and said its not her cat. i told her that i caught her in the act quite a few times and that i had her separated in a room from the others and she was making messes. but the owner claims its not her cat doing it. and didnt wanna hear that she should be buying litter and cat food and paying for the vet visits i already took darlene too. she wont give an answer on if she wants to give her cat away or not. id like to know so i can adopt her becuz i feel bad whenever an animal is unwanted. my 3 cats were all rescues and i saved them from being put in a shelter or dying on the street.

I thought i had fixed the issue of Darlene making messes outside the litter box, but she has started it again. I have caught her spraying all over everything again. i also caught her in my kitchen cabinets and the sink strainer where the dishes are. She is literally pooping and peeing in my dishes! she ruined yet another brand new couch and chair i bought. She has started picking fights with all the other cats now too. her owner pretty much isnt gonna get Darlene and I told my bf she has to go. I told her owner i am tired of having to replace everything and buy food and stuff for her cat. the owner has not once paid for the grooming, vet visits, the food, the litter, or the stuff that got destroyed. vets say that nothing is wrong, no illnesses or anything. I have done everything possible. the problem isnt going away. and its getting worse with every day. Ive spent so much in cleaning and the food and litter. Her owner ignores my questions of when she plans to get her cat. Idk what to do.

I'm sorry to hear about your stressful situation . Do you have a basement that's somewhat comfy and pleasant where you can keep Darlene separated for some quiet time? You are already much kinder to Darlene than her original owner. I've used Rescue Remedy to calm a nervous kitty I'm fostering .Hopefully you can resolve her issues or find a home for her where you can be absolutely certain no animal abuser will ever be

I live in a single story 1 bedroom house which is small and only doors are to the bedroom and bathroom. i have my litter boxes in the bathroom and i cant confine her to either room becuz the last time i tried to, she pooped and peed everywhere in my bathroom and never touched the litter boxes. i have my mama cat and 5 kittens in the bedroom too. im still at a loss as to why she would pry open high kitchen cabinet doors to poo and pee in the dishes on the shelves? and she has tried to poo on my gas stove in the kitchen. its daily i wake up to piles of poo and puddles of pee. where its getting cold out, she doesnt want outside much. i believe she has got into a fight with my mama cat, Kitty. i noticed yesterday that kitty had a huge busted looking lip that is swollen and looks like a chunk was chewed out. ive caught her in the act and i know its her making the messes. im spending an extra $100 or more a month to care for her and i cant afford it anymore. the neighbors are complaining about her eating their dogs and cats food. i cant crate her becuz she will spray like a male cat and it stinks sooooo bad. she has chewed huge holes in clothing. and she loves to pee on any purses or bags she sees whether its on a shelve or hanging up. its very difficult to handle. Darlenes owner refuses to answer my calls or my messages

I'd be more concerned with Morris once the kitten are born intact males often kill kittens. Sorry for my bluntness.