old cat doesn't like the new kittens

so nearly 2 months ago now, me and my girlfriend got 2 new female kittens at 8 weeks old, we've had them nearly 2 months now and did a very slow introduction process.

intially we had them shut away in a spare room with a litter tray, food and water and gradually let them explore the house. lay scents and let our other cat discover them without confrontation (we did sock rubbing too). then moved onto gated access, supervised mingling and finally unsupervised mingling.

it seemed to have been going fairly well, no fights, a bit of hissing and grumbling from our older cat, a couple of swipes, but nothing excessive or more than a behavioural correction if the kittens were getting too close for comfort. but now he just runs away (from willow specifically, she's the more boistrous of the 2)

Ron, our older cat (who lost his brother at christmas) has spent an increasing amount of time outside, this was to be expected with new animals in the house. whilst during the summer months i wouldn't take issue with this, especially as he has continued coming in for food, of recent he has been venturing into our neighbors houses looking for more places to sleep, or i fear, a new home. 

we thought it was going well, they've been in close proximity and slept near each other a few times now, but Ron is constantly harassed by our more exuberant kitten, willow - she just loves and adores him, but he doesn't want to know. the other night whilst he was sleeping on his back quite happily, she crept up on him and since then, he's just had enough, he can't have a good nap without her interferance - as such, he goes outside and stays outside as long as he can bear it, only really coming in when it's pissing it down with rain.

i'm considering putting up some cat shelves, but he's much more of a bush cat than a tree cat, he'd rather be in a box on the floor than on a shelf high up - i think he's also a little arthritic in his old age, as he seems to struggle a little when crawling out from under a bush after a long nap.

he's also started venturing a bit farther away from hom than he usually would, whilst i can understand the changes in his territory and the stress he's feeling at home to drive him towards this, i'm really looking for a way to re-assure him that he's the one in charge and that the kittens, although boistrous, aren't a threat to him, his world or how much i love him

he's never really been an affectionate cat though, he's not a lap cat, the closest he gets is sitting on the sofa next to you and since the kittens have taken over the living room, he barely ventures in there any more. it's like he feels these kittens have stolen his human, even though i still make attempts to play with him every day and get him to come and sit with me - but as long as the kittens are close by, he backs away.

for example, he came running up the stairs to see me yesterday and then stopped dead in his tracks as willow poked her head around the top of the stairs. he then refused to budge, leaving me to go down the stairs towards him. whereas as fred then appeared (the other kitten, winifred officially) went down the stairs towards him and they had nose rubs.

we've got a feliway diffuser to try and reduce the stress, but trying to re-integrate him into the house is being majorly set back by the kittens. i'm not sure whether to impose kitty restrictions and put the gates back up to give him more time to acclimatise to their presence, or just let him get on with it in the hope he'll come around.

the kittens have had free run of the house for about 2 weeks now and whilst it looked like progress was being made, in the past few days, what progress had been made has regressed. he seems to be spending more time int he garden than ever before.

funnily enough, he's ok with fred as she's a lot calmer, she approaches slowly and they rub noses. whereas willow is full of energy and will run straight up to him, he's hissed at her a few times, she's even been swiped at, but she's so wrapped up in kitten frenzy she doesn't heed the warnings, he's now at the point where he's had enough of her and would rather balk at the sight of her than to keep correcting her behaviour.

i'm at a bit of a loss at what to do, other than hope he starts putting her in her place a bit more often and that she gets the idea he's not fond of her idolation (as she really does idolise him, since the moment she met him he was like her hero, it's like a little girl who's older big boy cousin is her idol and she wont leave him alone).

suggestions please, my ron needs help dealing with the whomping willow. 

jackson galaxy - the cat from hell guy, suggests spirit essences - would something like this be of help? something to help ron chill out and something to help calm willow down. fred seems to be fine and gets on well with both, but the willow/ron relationship really needs some help before he permanently relocates.

thanks in advance

Cat intros can take months and months.  Two months is just not long enough.  Introductions should still be happening.  I would start again with introductions.  You should start with feeding them on either side of a cat or either side of a closed door.  You do not want to move forward until all cats will calming eat near each other without growling, hissing, posturing or attacks.  This could take weeks.

I next would try a dog crate.  Place the kittens inside the crate and allow Ron to come into the room and check them out.  I have put a sheet over 3 sides of the crate and gradually taken it off.  Once again watch for any hissing, growling or posturing.  Use food rewards.  I would use plain cooked chicken.  Get something to entice Ron and allow him to figure out that when he appropriately interacts with the kittens he gets something yummy to eat.  Not just cat food or treats, but something extra special.  Try this activity a few times each day.

I would also keep the kittens away from Ron right now.  If they go at him, pick them up and remove them.  Ron needs to know that you will keep him safe.  The shelving might be a good idea for the kittens.  Ron could safely be on the ground and the kittens can move upward.

I have used Spirit Essences with some success.  I have used the Stress Stopper and Bully Remedy, but they only seemed to take the edge off.  I would suggest trying Composure liquid max calming supplement.  You can mix it into wet food two times each day.  It is non sedating and helps cats to feel more calm.  I used it on a territorial aggressive feral cat I brought into my home.  It really helped.  Also you may need more feliway diffusers.  One is usually never enough in a home.  I have an open floor plan home and needed 4 to notice a difference.

I also would be careful of allowing Ron to be out and roam so much.  If he is really upset about his current home life, he could wander off looking elsewhere.  He needs to know that you will protect him from the kittens.  Could you possibly build him an enclosure to stay safely in your yard?  Also I hope that he is neutered since he is out wandering around!

Here is a great video ( maybe you have seen it) from Jackson Galaxy on cat to cat intros.  When I introduced the feral cat to my resident cat, it took one solid year.  It was very challenging, but in the end, all worked out.  The two cats are now buddies.  It was hard work and many times back pedaling to figure it all out.  The intro steps had to be repeated over and over.  The composure really did help.

thought i should come back and thank you for the advice, it seems that we were letting them out at night too early and ron wasn't happy about it. understandable really.

we started locking the kitties away at night in their bedroom (with water, a litter tray and comfy places to sleep) and Ron came back inside pretty much instantly.

since then we've been spending roughly 30-60 minutes outside playing with all 3 of them everyday, initially Ron would just sit back and watch and willow and fred ran around chasing after the toy, but after a few days he was starting to join in and after a week or two, he was actually playing directly with them and had accepted them into his fold.

after a few more weeks of continuing the practice of playing every day with all 3 of them, they soon became happy chappies, ron would actually enter the same room as them AND sleep there quite happily whilst they ran around him playing.

we now have 3 happy cats all co-existing, the kitties no longer get put to bed at night, we're yet to see them all snuggle up with each other, but winter is coming and it's only a matter of time. 

Thanks for coming back and updating.  It is always great to read happy successful updates!!  So glad your kitty family is all happy and that you stuck with it.

Congrats on your success!!!!