I think I messed up

I just joined this website.  I'm not a die-hard cat person, but I do like cats and have cared for quite a few in my time.

Anyhow, to get to the point, I may have lost my chance to befriend and vaccinate/neuter a feral tom.

Now on to the details and a history.

I live in a suburban area just a few blocks away from farmland.  I have a decent sized backyard with hedges all around.  I own a 15-year-old fixed female, who despite being fixed, is fiercely territorial.  If anything (aside from humans and prey) wanders into our backyard, that cat will skip past hissing or growling and start right away with screaming, pacing, and lunging at the intruder - even when there is a glass sliding door in her way.  A while back our cat let us know of such an intruder, which we discovered to be an unfamiliar intact tom.  He had a scratched up face and was missing part of his right ear.  I don't know if he lost it in  fight or due to frostbite.  But nonetheless, the cat was worse for wear.

A few times this tom would show up, and our cat would go ballistic.  However, we began to notice some odd behaviour.  When our girl would get aggressive, he would flop over on to his back and expose his stomach to her.  While I have seen dogs expose their necks to indicate submission, I've never seen a cat do something like this before.  He kept coming around, and our cat fretted less and less about his presence.  Soon, she'd actually walk up and greet him by touching noses.

So, we began feeding this cat, and started calling him Gimpy.  We've never seen him spray anywhere in our backyard - but I have no doubt that he does.  He's even wandered into our house tentatively when we've left the door open due to hot weather.  But he also would often show up with new scratches and sores - some of which would look swollen or infected.  He came around more regularly when we began feeding him, but I was not sure why he was coming in the first place.  I mean, our cat isn't intact, so she would not be leaving urine and pheromones to attract males.  But once she accepted him, I think he preferred to stay in her territory because she was always ready to defend it.  So if he was in our backyard, she'd drive off any OTHER cats that came, but let him stay, therefore offering him protection.  He also would never eat all of the food we offered him, always leaving some for her to eat - and she would eat it rather eagerly despite the fact that she has her own food dish that we keep well stocked.

Anyway, he used to be dead silent, but he began squeaking and trying to meow, approaching us for head-pats, and otherwise, had warmed to us.  So I wanted to get him into a vet for shots (especially if he is hanging around my old lady cat!), get some antibiotics, and eventually, get him neutered.  So we get a carrier and make some inquiries to our vet about handling a feral and whatnot.  We lured him into the house and closed the door but let him roam through several of our rooms.  He was frantic, but eventually calmed down.  When it was time to go to the vet we put him in the carrier.  Again, he was almost eerily calm after he realised he wasn't getting out. Yet, once we made it to the vet and were just about to walk into the building he managed to bust the door of the carrier right off and booked it across a busy street.  It was too dangerous for us to follow him, and he disappeared into the city scape.

I am NOT used to dealing with ferals and know very little about their behaviour.  I forgot to mention that at first he would not let any of us come near him - only let our cat near.  It took several months to get him to even let us touch him.

TL;DR

I befriended a feral cat, but he got away just outside of the veterinary clinic, and I'm worried I'll never see him again.

So I'm curious... since cats are territorial, and he KNOWS there is a food source here, is it likely that he will return to my backyard?  Or will this event, trapping him and taking him OUT of his territory, likely cause him not to return because I 'betrayed his trust'?  I am also frantic over not knowing if he is alive or dead.  I don't know what services to contact to get information on whether the cat has been found or had ended up as roadkill.  If you think he will return, how long do you think it would take for a male cat to travel roughly 4-5 km through a city?

I know this was a lot to read, but I try to include as much information as possible in anticipation of questions that might be asked.

Thank you for your time.

I am knew to this too and have no advice whatsoever but wanted to touch base to say I understand how you are feeling.... these amazing fight to survive cats get into our hearts and. it sounds like your one  is a wiley wee creature who has obviously survived this long on wits and attitude, and may well turn up at some stage... they say cats can travel huge distances to get home- I have no idea if its true but my heart goes out to you. 

He is used to live outside, and to roam.  So the danger of road kill is slim...  If he wants to return to you, he can surely do it,   quite soon.   A couple of days, not much more.

My guess is he will return.

When did it happened?

To the question, if he will let be tricked into a carrier again,  I dont know.  But your plan was sound.  

Yeah..this happened to me but luckily one came to me after a few days.The other jumped out of the car

and I chased her.You can go to the area and call the cats name ,if you named him.

Also since you had beenfeeding and caring for him he may come or at least meow to you.just kind of drive slowly or walk about and call to him calmly.

You can put up notices on phone poles.He may ask someone else for food as he was

needing help when he came to you.It would be great if he just found his way "home",how far is it??

I kept trying for a few days and she appeared.I scooped her up with a towel and

set

her in the drivers seat,home we went.

Of coarse she had been eating at my house for some time so I wasnt a complete stranger.

Hope you find him sounds like it was working out.OH YEAH!!

Keep cat kibs,canned food and water bottles in your car so when you go to area cat disappeared you have something to offer to entice.

Of coarse you may draw others .

If he can, he will return.  He's established his territory in your yard and will do all he can to get "home."

Unless he meets with misadventure, I would be surprised if its more than a couple of weeks.  Prayers being said he returns.  Don't be surprised if he's a little jumpy when he gets back.  You may have upset him but not beyond his ability to get back into the routine he wants.

Once he does return, I suspect you will need to start feeding him in a humane trap.  Tie the trap open to gradually get him used to eating in it.  Once he is used to it, you can set the trap and get him fixed up.  He can stay a day or so back in the trap until he's released back outside.  Do you have a room you can recuperate him in - even a small bathroom will do.  I've recuperated several ferals in the trap inside our bathtub.  Easy cleanup.

A room to himself will allow him a safe place to get better.

Again, I am praying he returns.

@outofmydepth  Thank you for your kind words.  

@StefanZ  He ran off Tuesday.  I have not seen him yet by today (Thursday).  I've owned so many instinctually challenged cats I didn't think about the fact that as a feral, he'd know better than to get hit by a car.  Thanks.  I'm a bit reassured.  It just didn't help that about a week or two ago I saw a dead cat on the side of the road while walking.  He was such a beautiful animal - it really was a pity. So when this feral fella ran off, I kept seeing him transposed over that other unknown cat I'd seen.  As for being tricked into a carrier, I am not going to even attempt that for a while if/when he does return.  I'l just be happy to see him again.  But if there is a next time, I'll make sure the carrier is a lot more secure, and even keep a hand firmly over the door.

@smokem  We've sort of nicknamed the cat Gimpy.  I don't know if HE knows that he is Gimpy, though.  But I have been calling him Gimpy for a while when addressing him.  I've worked up a cat poster.  I was lucky to have a picture of him, but the quality isn't very good.  But it does show that he has a torn up ear.  It was just a quick shot I took of him with a cellphone.  I have no put the posters up yet, though - printer issues.  Keeping some cat food and bottled water in the vehicle does sound like a good idea, just in case.  I'm glad to know that the cat that got away from you was found - hopefully I will have a similar story to share.  Eventually.

@Ondine  It's that possibility of misadventure I am worried about.  I kept fretting that animal control might pick him up, and since he is a stray with no chip or collar, they'd probably take him to a shelter or something - and THEY might euthanise him because he's in pretty rough shape.  But rather than fret, I finally (well my mother and I - I have phone anxiety)  phoned shelters and animal control and also sent them e-mails with his picture as an attachment so that if he ends up with any of them they know to contact us.  Since he disappeared near the vet, we also left them with a picture of him.  As for providing a place for him to recover, I have a few places in mind.  The bathtub is a brilliant idea, but probably not applicable for me.  My sister and her 6-year-old son live with me, and the bathroom with the bathtub is the one that he uses the most, and disrupting his routine is a really BAD idea.  But there is a room that almost no one goes into that I could probably put him in.  It has more or less decent sound proofing, unlike the rest of the house.

Well.  No sign of him, and no word back from anyone I've contacted.  I will update if he returns or if this story has a less happy conclusion.

Sending vibes he returns safely.

UPDATE!!!

Don't mind the caps.  I felt it was warranted.

Gimpy returned. There he was, outside, standing with my fixed female.  Food was put down and he sat there for quite a while chowing down.  Of course he was skittish; that is to be expected.  But he's back in my backyard, and doesn't look overly starved, sick, or maimed!  My worst fears are over and I'm happy just to see him and his messed up ear.

Thank you everyone for your assurances, well wishes, vibes and prayers!

What great news! I love a happy ending.

Hurray! I am so glad he got home safely. Thanks for the update.

Hooray!!

I guess Gimpy doesnt need a map.

Its hard to prepare for vet trips.Next time,better luck.

Move slowly so not to alert him.And I guess if I were you I would wait for him to get comfortable again.Few days? A week?

Just so he isnt laying in wait and the same thing happens?

Really great news.Now for the vet trip..argggghhhh.

It will get done!!!!All in good time....

Oh I am certainly going to give him time to get comfortable again.  As it is he doesn't stay long after eating, whereas before the vet mess, he would stick around after eating.  Whether it was lazing on my back deck, or hanging around my female cat just inside the back sliding door (which we'd leave open when weather was clement).  I might even drag a chair outside and just sit there just to be near him when he decides to hang around the property.

Super happy to hear that Gimpy is back on home turf again. The suggestion of putting his food in a humane trap is a good one. At some point you will need to catch him again. There is some really good advice here on how to catch a feral using a trap: http://www.feralcat.com/trapinst.html

Since he is close with your other cat, you might try placing something with her scent in or near the trap as well.

So, chapter 2 of my messing-up-ness...

I FINALLY managed to get Gimpy to a vet for his vaccinations yesterday (Sep 22).  He also had an abscess near his hip, so he was given a course of antibiotics, and they would not fix him until he had concluded 10 days of that.  Fair enough.  So we get him back to the house, and he won't come out of the carrier.  Fine.  Cool.  He can stay hidden.  I checked on him a few times, to see him still curled up at the way back of the carrier.  I wasn't going to push him - he was already traumatised enough.

So.... the next mistake I made was trying to accomplish all of this when there is a 6 year old boy that lives in my home part time (my nephew - complicated circumstances).  I had warned him to leave the cat well enough alone, to not let him out, or leave any doors to the outside open.  He wanted to play Minecraft with me and his Mom, which is fine.  I was on my computer in my room, my sister set up a game from her computer, and he got to use the computer downstairs.  The big mistake was leaving him alone on the same floor as the cat... for when I went to check on Gimpy some hours later - poof! No kitty.  

I checked ALL over the house!  I could not find the cat.  I asked the boy if he let the cat out, and he said no.  But later, he insisted that Gimpy got out when he let our OTHER cat out.  I tried to extract details from him, but the child is a bit delayed in his ability to communicate.  He doesn't annunciate well, and often he doesn't always seem to understand just what he is being asked.  My nephew then went on about how Gimpy ran off for 21 miles and found a new home.

...

Yeah, his account is not reliable, but whether he is telling the truth or not is not the issue.  The point is, I have NO idea where Gimpy is.  The house I live in isn't small and it IS a bit cluttered.  All of my siblings have at one point lived here, so there's a lot of miscellaneous storage scattered about between a few of the rooms.  It is possible that he IS in the house and just REALLY well hidden.  But I am inclined to believe he got out, and I am just chiding myself over being careless enough to have refused to play and stayed downstairs to keep a better eye on Gimpy.

And on top of all that, being the stingy  person I am, I'm annoyed that he got out AFTER I bought him medicine.  

I don't know if I am seeking advice, sympathy, or encouragement at this point.  I just know that I finally managed to settle down enough to sleep... and then awoke to the soft half-squeak-raspy-meow Gimpy makes.  I looked everywhere again, unsure if I really heard him, or merely awoke after DREAMING that I heard him.  The cat is alive, and yet I am beginning to feel haunted by that one-eared tabby.  I'm a bit beside myself.

I wouldn't bet he got out just yet. With the description of your house, he has plenty of hiding spaces and cats can hide in very, very small and strange places.

Set out some food in the carrier, close the door to that room and see what happens. If you can close off the room completely, please do. After a few days, you will know if he's in there.

We've all done something similar, so welcome to the club! The more you do this, the less awkward and slightly easier it gets.

Leave out some stinky wet food. You can mix his antibiotic in it and there's a good chance he'll get his needed dose.

One thing I would explore is to get a large dog crate. Use it as his go-to place. Put a litter box in there. Put a layer of regular dirt on top of the litter. It is probably what he's used to using, so he'll soon understand what it's for.

Also put the carrier in there and feed in the carrier. You can cover ithe crate with a blanket to make it a very tempting hiding place.

Good luck!

If he DID get out, you know he came back to you before, I'm positive he'll come back again. When you do find him, get him isolated in a room that your nephew doesn't enter. Like @Ondine said, we've all done this at some point.