Help Please!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I recently adopted a almost-2-years-old, used-to-be-feral cat. He was found in November of last year, kept as a foster pet until earlier this month, when I adopted him. He was described as very, very shy/scared of new people and places, but affectionate and a total lap cat once he adjusts. I've owned cats before, and got my other cat around a year ago. I was just wanting to hear from other people how long it took their previously feral or very shy/scared cats to adjust to their new homes, and what I can do (if anything other than wait for him to approach me) to forge a bond with him and make him more comfortable. ANY advice or experiences very appreciated...I just want to be the best owner I can be to him.

Thanks!!

We got Fluffy six months ago and she is finally at home.  Every little noise would send her running upstairs to her safe room.  Between illnesses and introductions it was at least 2 months before she met Eclipse and could play with him.  It took another month to get her to come downstairs to eat.  She still isn't a lap cat and rarely sleeps on my bed.

My advice is to be patient and let the cat set the pace.

thank you so much! glad to hear your kitty is doing better

I brought a 3 year old feral/stray cat into my home 2 years ago.  He had his own room with no contact with my other animals for about 2 months.  We wanted him to adjust to indoor living and humans first.  After 2 months, we started slow introductions to my resident cat and large dog.  All went well at first and then I rushed the process.  It really set things back.  The feral/stray was aggressive towards my resident cat and so scared of everything else.  Yet with persistence and hard work it all worked out.  It took him one solid year to get used to living inside and adjust to my other animals.  He remained in his own room at night for a year and then decided he no longer wanted to be shut in.  He and my resident cat are now buddies and share grooming and play time.  I won't tell you it was easy, but it was well worth it.  He is the sweetest most loving cat.  He sleeps in our bed most nights snuggled up. 

The other way you can try to bond is through play, since the instinct to hunt is so strong, they sometimes loose awareness of what's going on around them in pursuit of a piece of sting. You can draw them closer, and when tbey discover nothing horrendous happened, you've grudgingly built a little bit of trust and are working towards decreasing the buffer of space they need to feel comfortable. Of course, this has to be done careful and with consideration and consistency to be effective. Put a lot of thought into your toy of choice: it should be something that you can directed away form your body, that can travel with enough speed to catch their interest, but which won't be able to harm (or startle) anyone if an accident happens during play time. Personally, I like to use really long blades of wild grass (2' or longer) since they have great flexibility, while still being easy to direct, and they are nonthreatening. The only con is they can fall appart as your playing.

Thank you everybody!! He's almost asleep right now, with the closet door open and me in sight too! Hopefully this is a sign he is slowly becoming more comfortable? I also made a long-range toy as per suggestion using a selfie stick with a shoelace tied to it. My other cat loves it, so I'm hoping to try it sometime he's more alert! If I could get a good picture I would, its a pretty precious sight.