Hey guys,
so this is the main reason why I've registered on this site. I'm feeling quite hopeless and I thought discussing with other people could help. (I've actually been told by people on some websites that I was too young to chat with them and to grieve -does the fact that I'm 17 affect my right to be sad about my cat's death? I don't think so.)
I've been alone for around 10 days now, because my family had to go out of town. I was left in charge with my two cats, respectively 2 and 4yo. They've always been going outside as we have a garden, our neighbourhood is quiet and pretty much cat-friendly (there are tons of cats around, really.) so we've never even thought of keeping them inside the house. It would have been torture since we have huge glass windows and they can see everything that happens outside.
Anyway, my older cat (I find typing his name oddly painful, so I'll just call him G.) was quite a special pet. He was incredibly nervous and really careful,(he even had jumpscares in front of parked cars) you've never seen a cat so cautious in your life. He was not one for cuddles and such things, but he did show affection and play with us. He was getting somewhat mellow since our cat M. arrived, starting to be nicer, to purr and come more often. We were used to him going away for days, sometimes weeks at a time, but he eventually always came back.
So it wasn't a surprise when, on Tuesday, he came to eat in the morning and went away for the rest of the day. Then on Wednesday morning I was woken up by a call from my sister. City hall had called my father and explained that they had found my cat's body. He was ran over by a car in an avenue nearby the previous day in the afternoon, and it took them some time to identify him (thanks to the electronical thing, I don't know the name but I'm French so my English is rather poor) They then called my father and soon my whole family knew, except for me as I was on the other side of the country. My parents considered not telling me so I wouldn't be upset until they came home but then again they knew I would start to worry at some point. I had an absolute breakdown, as my sister told me the news I felt like my whole world was about to explode as I was still on the phone. I couldn't stop crying, though one of my friends came around quickly to spend the afternoon and the night with me. I didn't sleep that night, I talked with some of my friends abroad who experienced such loss and watched my favorite TV show to cheer up a bit. I felt a tad better and later in the afternoon, another friend joined us in the afternoon but they eventually had to leave in the evening.
Though it was great to have people around to laugh and chat a little, I managed to sleep a little that night and yesterday I was joined by my best friend. My parents are also coming home tonight so I am not alone, which is good. Though everytime I see my cat's bowl, (it is not on the usual spot any more, I just keep it in the kitchen) the chair he used to scratch or the cushion he slept on, I can't help but feel absolutely helpless. I cannot believe that my first pet of four years is gone and never to come back. We're supposed to pick up his body on monday and we chose cremation, which will be done by the vet in around two weeks. I'll be gone to uni by then, but right now my main concern is that I feel incredibly empty.
I've been told that one shouldn't make a big deal over a pet's death, but I have to agree when some of you say it hurts just as much as the loss of a relative. It's only been three days but I feel drained and I just needed to vent a little, I guess. For now the hardest part is to take care of M. who's still there. She looks just like her brother (though in different colors) and everytime I see her, I just wish I could explain what's going on.. But she must understand. It is just so hard to see her since she was really close to him and he basically raised her, protecting her from other cats.
There's no real point in this message but I guess I needed to talk, and maybe to hear from you guys if you ever experienced loss. I know I'll get better and I'll eventually focus on the good times, but for now on it's just complicated.
so this is the main reason why I've registered on this site. I'm feeling quite hopeless and I thought discussing with other people could help. (I've actually been told by people on some websites that I was too young to chat with them and to grieve -does the fact that I'm 17 affect my right to be sad about my cat's death? I don't think so.)
I've been alone for around 10 days now, because my family had to go out of town. I was left in charge with my two cats, respectively 2 and 4yo. They've always been going outside as we have a garden, our neighbourhood is quiet and pretty much cat-friendly (there are tons of cats around, really.) so we've never even thought of keeping them inside the house. It would have been torture since we have huge glass windows and they can see everything that happens outside.
Anyway, my older cat (I find typing his name oddly painful, so I'll just call him G.) was quite a special pet. He was incredibly nervous and really careful,(he even had jumpscares in front of parked cars) you've never seen a cat so cautious in your life. He was not one for cuddles and such things, but he did show affection and play with us. He was getting somewhat mellow since our cat M. arrived, starting to be nicer, to purr and come more often. We were used to him going away for days, sometimes weeks at a time, but he eventually always came back.
So it wasn't a surprise when, on Tuesday, he came to eat in the morning and went away for the rest of the day. Then on Wednesday morning I was woken up by a call from my sister. City hall had called my father and explained that they had found my cat's body. He was ran over by a car in an avenue nearby the previous day in the afternoon, and it took them some time to identify him (thanks to the electronical thing, I don't know the name but I'm French so my English is rather poor) They then called my father and soon my whole family knew, except for me as I was on the other side of the country. My parents considered not telling me so I wouldn't be upset until they came home but then again they knew I would start to worry at some point. I had an absolute breakdown, as my sister told me the news I felt like my whole world was about to explode as I was still on the phone. I couldn't stop crying, though one of my friends came around quickly to spend the afternoon and the night with me. I didn't sleep that night, I talked with some of my friends abroad who experienced such loss and watched my favorite TV show to cheer up a bit. I felt a tad better and later in the afternoon, another friend joined us in the afternoon but they eventually had to leave in the evening.
Though it was great to have people around to laugh and chat a little, I managed to sleep a little that night and yesterday I was joined by my best friend. My parents are also coming home tonight so I am not alone, which is good. Though everytime I see my cat's bowl, (it is not on the usual spot any more, I just keep it in the kitchen) the chair he used to scratch or the cushion he slept on, I can't help but feel absolutely helpless. I cannot believe that my first pet of four years is gone and never to come back. We're supposed to pick up his body on monday and we chose cremation, which will be done by the vet in around two weeks. I'll be gone to uni by then, but right now my main concern is that I feel incredibly empty.
I've been told that one shouldn't make a big deal over a pet's death, but I have to agree when some of you say it hurts just as much as the loss of a relative. It's only been three days but I feel drained and I just needed to vent a little, I guess. For now the hardest part is to take care of M. who's still there. She looks just like her brother (though in different colors) and everytime I see her, I just wish I could explain what's going on.. But she must understand. It is just so hard to see her since she was really close to him and he basically raised her, protecting her from other cats.
There's no real point in this message but I guess I needed to talk, and maybe to hear from you guys if you ever experienced loss. I know I'll get better and I'll eventually focus on the good times, but for now on it's just complicated.
