My Sweet Winterfell

rockstarmommy

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One of our three rescue kitties died recently. We took him (Winterfell) to the adoption center where we were fostering him from to have the vet tech check his vitals in late July because he had been so lethargic since we took him home; he never seemed to be active/playful in the entire two weeks we had him, and he had loose stool the night before. He was very cuddly though and loved to jump on our bed and nap with us despite having his own little bed and full run of the entire apartment. He would purr all the time which could have meant that he was in pain. I explained to the tech how Winterfell got along with our two other kitties well enough, but that he still spent a lot of time hiding and wasn't interested in play like the others; therefore, I would even try to separate him to play one-on-one with me from time-to-time during the day because I didn't want him to feel overwhelmed as he was the youngest nor that he needed to share his toys, bed or food. I also noticed that ironically our oldest kitty (Salem Skywalker, who is a year-old) would always be very gentle with him as if he sensed something was off. Salem would sniff/groom Winterfell and then leave, despite being extremely playful with our 15 week-old kitty (Professor Earl Grey Blitz) yet he always only just groomed Winterfell, never even pushed him to play more or playfully pounce like he did with Blitz despite Winterfell hissing at him on occasion if he got too close which always just seemed to ultimately amuse Salem who would then scamper off and let the little one do his thing. The vet tech concluded the visit by giving giving Winterfell a clean bill of health that morning; her only recommendation was that we add milk tracer to his food to increase his appetite which we purchased that same hour and did for the remainder of the day. I spent the next waking hours vigilantly watching over him. I thought I might have been being overly concerned since the vet tech assured me I was being paranoid, but I enjoyed seeing him get better (or so I hoped). I even have pics of him napping in my lap and eating from his private food bowl near his toy that day because we spent it together, and I was excited that the milk tracer might actually lift his spirits. That same night, I woke up feeling off ... like something was wrong. Then, I found him on the floor under an easel struggling to breathe. I started screaming. I shouldn't have lost it like that and frightened my sleeping kids, but I just did not expect to see his eyes rolling back like that, his pained breathing or his limp body. My college aged daughter and her boyfriend immediately took him to the emergency vet hospital where he was pronounced dead. The vet could not perform the autopsy herself because the shelter would have to do so but she said he was not poisoned and there was physical trauma. We actually had to take his little body back to our apartment and store it overnight until the shelter vet could see him the next morning and perform the autopsy herself. His blood tested negative for all diseases and the autopsy revealed nothing, so simply they concluded that, because he was such a young stray, he was likely weaned too early from his mother and therefore, he never built the necessary antibodies he needed to thrive. I felt so helpless when I heard the news. I was hoping the results would have been more conclusive. I have tried to research this sort of thing happening to other kittens. Did Winterfell die of kitten fading syndrome? Is this what this is? Or could he have been depressed and I just missed the signs somehow?

Here he is on my lap that same day napping away:


Here he is eating that same day:



He died a few weeks ago, but we still are in mourning. Even Salem looked all over for him the following day and seemed to notice his absence. He kept meowing at us to follow him to all of Winterfell's usual hiding spots because he didn't see him leave the apartment. Blitz seemed unaffected for the most part thankfully but he's younger than Salem. I feel Salem feels the hierarchy change the most as he's the oldest and dominant male in the house.

Winterfell was less than a pound and a half when we began fostering him, and he had lost two ounces when we brought him to the vet tech that day which is why she thought the milk tracer would combat the issue. She also had advised us to keep him away from Salem's dry food to avoid him having any more loose stool. When I found him that night, I also found bloody loose stool by my bed. Could someone please offer me their advice? I know we did the best we could as a family to show Winterfell a loving home, yet I feel so sad about his tragic outcome.
 
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rockstarmommy

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I meant to say there was no physical trauma
 

di and bob

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My heart goes out to you, you did everything in your power to help this baby thrive and it just wasn't to be. I know it's so hard not to beat yourself up with all those should-haves, could-haves, but believe me, they change nothing and only bring heartache. You have been traumatized with this sudden, unexplained death, and it will take a long time to soften the agony you are feeling. Not knowing why something happened leaves us with too many doubts and misgivings, I wish I could provide some answers and I hope that you may find an answer in the future. Sweet Winterfell felt the love and care you gave him, and I'm sure that love comforted him in the end. I offer my sincere condolences on your loss, and I'll keep you all in my thoughts and prayers. I also want to thank you and pray that you are blessed for giving these sweet foster babies the love and care they so desperately need, you are an angel here on earth.  RIP sweet Winterfell, you will be forever held in a loving heart and will never be forgotten!
 
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rockstarmommy

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Thank you so much for your kind words -- they mean so much right now!! ((HUGS)) I try to tell myself that at least he knew the love of a family that was his own, and we will see him again someday under better circumstances.
 

ginny

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I'm so sorry about the loss of your dear kitten Winterfell!  It's always particularly heartbreaking when such a young one goes.  I don't have any words of advice to give you though. Not sure what kitten-fading syndrome is but from what you said it sounds like he might have been sick when you got him.  I admit I got a little preturbed at the vet tech who told you you were being paranoid.  I was never able to get adequate treatment for my kitty Gracie.  She just kept getting worse.  I had her PTS in July.  It's so frustrating when we know something's wrong and that the real problem isn't being addressed.  Still it sounds like you did all you knew to do at the time.  I did too.  Hindsight, however, is 20/20 and can be cruel.  We're only human, not all-knowing.  I'm going through all those questions now as well about Gracie.  <sigh>  Hugs to you. He was such a beautiful kitten. 
 
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rockstarmommy

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Thank you so much, Ginny! And I'm also very sorry for your own loss as well. ((HUGS))

Fading kitten syndrome (as it was explained to me) describes a kitten's inability to thrive for varying factors. I know researching a potential label or possible answers will never truly provide me with closure, but it just feels so awful trying to make sense of the senseless. Thanks again for your kind words regarding him. He really was a sweet and beautiful kitty.
 

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I'm very sorry for your loss of Winterfell. It's so difficult to see a little one fail to make it despite your best efforts. The shelter had an extremely young mother and her two kittens brought in a little over two months ago. One kitten just didn't gain weight or thrive, and mom dropped dead during a vet exam - the necropsy showed a deformed heart. It was heartbreaking, but they just didn't stand a chance. Momma was too young and ill. The other kitten beat the odds and is thriving, but very tiny for his age.

Some things are just beyond our control.

RIP, Winterfell.
 
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nurseangel

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Sweet Winterfell.  I am so sorry for your loss.  I don't think there was any way you could have known...
 
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rockstarmommy

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Thank you, jcat and nurseangel!! ((HUGS)) And I'm so sorry to hear that jcat, although it is heartening to know that her other kitty was able to thrive despite the tragic circumstances.
 
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