2 weeks ago this cat has showed up and I'm confused by behaviors

I'm brand new to this forum thing so I have no idea if I'm doing this right so I apologize if this is in the wrong area or just completely wrong and maybe you can offer me tips on how to do this right lol

Anyways about two weeks ago a cat just started to show up on my property and I've begun to feed him and we kind of have a little routine where he comes the same time everyday between 4p-7p for dinner. Two days ago and again today he actually showed up at 9a and has hung out with us all day near his spot((we have a fence around our back yard so when you are in my driveway you can see where the woods meet the fence before the fence turns to make the gate. You actually could walk along a small path that's kind of been made between the woods and plants so you can walk a border around the outside of my fenced yard and that's where he comes out from)) I placed a bowl of water in the driveway as well as the other bowl for food next to that and he comes out to them. He seems like a very unsure cat it took a full week for him to come out and go the bowls with us standing there. Before we would put the bowls down and then go in out back yard so we would be behind the gate. Now though for the last three days he comes right out of his spot and starts walking towards me before I put the bowl down which had me so excited lol. So yesterday after he ate he was walking around with his tail up making these happy sounding meows and he was stretching and rolling around and acting like he really wanted attention from me so I just stood there as still as I could be and he was walking around me in circles seeming like he may want to rub on my legs so I squatted down and reached my hand out and he laid down was rolling got back up and was circling me again lol so this time he sees my hand and walks up kind of slow but then hisses and swats at me!!! I promptly back away and he follows me it was just weird. Then tonight I'm giving him dinner and as I bring the bowl over to where I always bring it he hisses at me so I stopped walking and waited a minute then he starts meowing happy again so I go to put the bowl down and it sounded like a really deep meow almost growl but more high pitched than like a dog growl so I just put the bowl down and left quickly. It's like 1 min he seems friendly and the next he has me nervous that he's going to scratch me or something. Does anyone know what this behavior is???!! Is it just a very untrusting nervous unsure cat that is trying to see if I will attack him after he swats? Is he just very protective of his food as far as the way he behaved when I'm feeding him? Also my earlier story of him circling me and rolling around and meowing all happy and acting like he wanted my attention was after he had finished all his food and had a full belly
And we had moved down where we were no where near his bowls when he swatted and hissed at me after he walked up to my hand! Lol I'm just very confused by the behavior and want to make sure that it's just nerves and that it will get better over time when trust is gained and it's not a cat who could attack me lol. I have never cared for any kind of outside cat let alone a feral one and I could really use some advice and help on all these body languages and mixed emotions he seems to be showing me. Thank you for listening and thank you for anyone who offers se advice!!

I think it's probably nerves- he could have been frightened by something earlier in the day. He could have gotten in a fights with another cat, or been chased by a dog. Or he could smell something different, such as a female cat in heat or a cat marking it's territory, or something on your clothes or skin he doesn't like. 

He is confused, and isnt not sure what is played.  He wants to be friends, you describe it very clearly.  but he doenst dare for real yet. He doesnt wants to feel he is cornered,   He wants to ensure his maneuver space.   So the swatting and some hissing is typical.

Is he still intact?  Some intact toms are more daring with humans, may be quite friendly and even behave almost as home cats.  Which is of course promising if you want to foster and adopt him.

What are your plans?  Are you willing to proceed, and foster and adopt him if its going forward??

Do you have resident cats?   If so, be sure you neuter him several weeks before you make any attemtps to let them meet!  such toms may be friendly to humans, but may beat up the residents mercilessly...

I'm pretty sure he's not fixed because you can tell he's probably a boy when he turns with his tail up lol. I don't have any cats currently but I do have two dogs. I'm planning on buying a cat house with heat and what not for winter because I don't know if it's fair to bring him inside after he's use to all this freedom plus with me having dogs I don't know if they would get along. I do fully intend to bring him to the vet eventually when there's enough trust that it won't scar him lol. I do want to make sure he's healthy in case we do ever let him the garage or something. I truly hope he is just not sure of me yet cause I really do want him to trust me and know what love is lol. He is very protective of his food every time I bring the bowl out he walks towards me but hisses lol. I think he's like 2 years maybe no idea what his past is we just moved in a year ago and the only time we saw any cats was when we were getting remodeling done and there was a mommy cat and two what looked like 6 month old kittens that hung out in the dumpster. We keep wondering if he's from that but we haven't seen any cats at all since the dumpster was removed last summer. He literally has shown up from no where lol thank you guys for responding!!!

You'll be doing him and all the female cats within a mile a huge favor by trapping him and having him neutered ASAP.  Males get into horrendous fights for territory and mating rights.  He sounds like he's already nervous about something - it is a rough life out there for cats.  Neutering him will calm him down and help keep him close to home.

Plus, the faster you get him vetted, the more quickly you can be sure he's healthy (no rabies, no FIV, no FELV, hopefully).  Again, its a rough life out there.

Thank you for helping him.  He may be pissed off at you for trapping him but rest assured, he will soon realize he's got it good!

How do I go about trapping him?

You can buy a humane trap at Tractor Supply for around $35.  It will have a spring trigger door that you can tie open.  Tie the door open and feed him in the trap (and only in the trap) for about a week.  Put the food at the back of the trap so he has to go completely inside it to eat.

This will give you time to make his vet appointment.  The night before the appointment, untie the trap and set it to spring.  He should step on the trip plate and spring the trap.  He will be upset and will thrash around but if you cover the trap, he should calm down.

Place the trap on a pee pad inside your garage or shed.  He can spend the night in the trap - it won't hurt him.  Talk to your vet about him - make sure he knows the cat may be feral or at the very least, fearful.

If you have a spay/neuter group nearby, they may be able to help you trap or at least guide and support you through this.  It can be upsetting but he will be so much better off.

Good luck!  He's a lucky kitty to have found someone like you who cares!

I'm so nervous about trapping and upsetting him!! It's taken two weeks just for him to start coming close to me and putting on shows where he rolls around lol. You think trapping him and bringing him to the vet is going to ruin the trust we have built? I don't want him to hate me. But I certainly want to make sure he's healthy just in case he does come near my dogs and because I'm really starting to love this little guy and would like to make sure he didn't just seek is because he's sick and hungry lol. This is my first outside cat lol I had plenty of cats growing up who were all actually found outside but found as babies. Jasper definitely has to be over year he's not very small but not super big either so I don't know how I feel about making him an inside cat cause he definitely has been outside a while and I think it's unfair to construct him lol

I've seen that a lot of cats found outside will warm up pretty fast once they're inside with daily attention. Most of those that don't are truly feral, which he doesn't sound like to me. Some who were dumped or abandoned warm up within the first couple of minutes, but sometimes it takes a few days. If you bring him in, and he's happy, comfortable, and healthy, he may still cry to go out, but I'd suggest keeping him in for a while at first.

A lot of the strays that have been roaming for a while (few months or years) behave this way with me too. Give him more time. He probably smells your dogs on you which he associates with fear as well. Once he realizes your smells and you aren't a threat he will probably warm right up. 

Regarding trapping - yes, he will be upset.  But our kids are upset when we have to take them to the doctor's, right?  We are doing it for their own good.  Trapping itself is stressful on the cat and us humans.  No getting around that.

Before you do anything, have a plan.  Check with your vet to see if he or she will handle semi-feral or stray cats.  (Some don't feel comfortable doing so).  Check around for a rescue/Spay/Neuter group.  They'll have resources, information and hopefully, hands-on help for you.  Have a room set aside; make sure the room is as empty as possible (no hiding places you can't get to).   A large dog crate is good if you have nothing else.  It should be able to hold a potty and a bed.  Yes, he'll be cramped but he will still be better off than being outside.

Many of us here had to learn to trap by ourselves.  They first time I trapped, I was so nervous and wound up, I almost got sick.  But I realized the poor cat I trapped, who was starving and sick, was going to be better off.  I thought for sure she would hate me for life but she's sleeping on my lap as I type this.

You can do this!  And that cat will be far better off, no matter how it turns out, than he is now.

I did call my vet today and they will see stray/feral cats so they told me when I think I'm ready to just call and make an appointment and if I catch him I can bring him or just call and Change the appointment until I do catch him lol. So hopefully in the next two weeks he will be going for a check up and eventually neutered. We made huge strides yesterday he actually sort of rubbed on my legs where his tail hit me and he didn't hiss!!! So we are making progress! Hopefully you guys are right and it's a mixture of nerves and the fact that he probably smells my dogs on me which is making him more nervous every lol. I just hope when we do catch him and bring him to the vet he doesn't hate me forever lol. Thank you so much everyone for your extremely helpful advice!!! It has been greatly appreciated and has made me feel better about making my new buddy jasper!

Good news!  Sounds like you have a great vet.  Many wouldn't be so flexible.  Good luck and keep us posted...

Yea I love my vet!! We found when we moved to the area a few years ago. Thank goodness to because we had a vet where we use to live that we brought our boy dog Ryu to as a puppy. They participated in the friends of animals so we had them do his neuter surgery. It was awful!!! They didn't give him any pain killers and he had to wear a cone because he kept going for the stiches and he would stay up and cry all night and when I told them this they offered sedatives instead of pain meds. He ended up popping a stitch out on top of it all and it was just terrible!!! So when we moved and got our girl puppy Rikku I did not want to use that vet again especially with her spaying being more invasive so we were recommended the vet we go to now and we loved him immediately but he didn't participate with friends of animals but we didn't care we just paid the bill which was not unreasonable. Let me tell you night and day difference!!! First off he gave us a tour of where Rikku would have her surgery and where she would be recovering, he showed us the special warming table and blanket they use to help with the shivers from Anesthia and just made is confident she would be getting the best care. He gave her internal stiches and then that special glue for outer part so it didn't matter if she licked it. She was out of it the first day from the Anesthia but the next day was running and bouncing around like nothing happened and she was on a routine of pain meds throughout the day that tapered off as the days went by and I really think that helped make the difference. To this day I still feel so guilty that we didn't find that vet sooner for Ryu because he really was basically butchered by that asshole old vet!!! Luckily for jasper though that he gets to go to the great vet that we have come to love over the past 6 years!! So I was very happy my vet would see jasper and as scared as I am that jasper will hate me I know I'm putting him in a very great doctors hands that's going to do everything he can to make sure jasper is healthy and happy and stays that way!!! Lol and I will definitely keep you all updated!!! I'm sure I'm going to have plenty more questions as jasper and I move forward in our new friendship!! Thanks again for listening and for all the great advice!!

The neat thing that occurred to me was that Jasper is telling you that you belong to him.  The rubbing and marking are a cat's way of claiming it's property and teritory.  So, you've been claimed!

Your vet sounds awesome!

I agree with Ondine - jasper rubbing on you is his way of "marking" you as "his." I think you've really made a friend for life. And you sound like someone who truly cares about animals-so he's found a good place to land! You've definitely got a great vet - few are that accommodating about trapping! I know how scary it is to trap -and the fear you'll ruin the trust you're building up. But know that outside males who aren't neutered have such a tough life - the risk of injury or even death from fighting over females & territory & the drive to mate often pushes them to be more reckless crossing streets, etc. You'd be saving him from all of this --and if handled correctly (& particularly if you can at least confine him for awhile after his neutering before releasing him so that he realizes you're still the same source of love & food you were before) he'll trust you again. I do understand the worry about taking away his freedom - one of our kitties is a feral we brought in almost a year after trapping her & spaying her when we learned a neighbor was likely poisoning the outside kitties because he was "annoyed with them." We often watch her at our screen door and wonder if she longs for the outside life at all. But we remind ourselves that she's a very happy kitty -and she'll likely live at least 3 or 4 times longer as a happy indoor kitty than she would outside! And I understand worrying about the dogs too - although with proper introductions it's very possible they could all get along.

An indoor life is definitely safer ---but getting him neutered, and then providing food and a warm winter shelter is SO much better a life than so many outdoor kitties have!!! Hurray for you for making his life better!!!!

Keep us posted ---this forum is great for advice when you go to trap!

I had a similar situation. I moved into a house and thought the cats I saw belonged to my neighbor. When my neighbor moved out I asked her if she was taking her cats. She said, "Oh those are feral cats. They were here when we moved in." She said the one was the mom and the other her kitten that was born int he wild. My neighbors were able to find homes for all the other kittens but this one.

After my neighbor moved I started leaving food on the porch for the cats. The mom cat got hit by a car shortly after. However, the boy cat started coming closer and closer to me over a period of months. One day he rubbed against me. Taming him was a very slow process though. One day I was his best friend and another he was afraid of me. But he did eventually become tame. The turning point was when the neighbor's cat started coming up to me to be pet. It registered with this little cat that I wasn't something to be afraid of. Treats helped too. I started getting him to come in the house using treats. I would just put a few right inside the door and leave the door propped open. The neighbor's cat would come in, so that made this little one feel braver. Over the course of a month or so he started coming in the house more, but I had to leave the door open and he was really skittish. Finally he got to the point where he would fall asleep when he came in, and that was when I was able to start shutting the door. But I always let him back out as soon as he went toward the door.

Trust was built very slowly. It might have been 6 months or so (and after he started spending the nights indoors) that I finally took him to the vet. He still freaked. Afterward he went under my car and snubbed us for the day. The next day he seemed a little better, and by the third day he was back to normal. But I believe that this went smoothly only because we had worked to build a trusting relationship. If you jump the gun, the cat might not come back.

In two weeks I will get my little guy neutered. I already got him all his shots. I would suggest taking it slow. You will know when the cat trusts you enough to try to take it to the vet.

Well we took another step today!!!! Jasper was full on rubbing on my legs today for a long time each time!!! Head butting and rubbing all over my legs!!! Lol he kept looking up and my hand so I reached it out to him and he kept rubbing then saw my hand and kind of sat so I reach closer and he jumped and put his two front paws on my knee and I said ow lol. I don't know if he was just being playful though because he didn't scratch me didn't leave a mark or anything but I could feel the tips of his claws when he basically grabbed my knee lol. So I don't know if it was playing but I'm pretty sure he still doesn't know if he wants me to touch him lol. Also just before he was rubbing on me and I wanted to get something from my yard so I walked toward the gate and he walked at a fast past to keep up with me but then swatted the back of my leg and hissed??? I don't know what that was about. I mean I felt his claw hit the back of my calf but there's no blood and I can't see a scratch so again I don't believe it was a vicious thing. Just confused why he would basically run up to me when I was walking away from him and not towards him and swat my leg and hiss when I wasn't breaking any boundaries? I mean it would make sense if I was walking up to him but being I was walking away and he had to kind of jog to reach me just confuses me as to why he would lash out?? Thanks again everybody I love the advice!!!

He was perhaps sorry you abandoned the petting session...  OR the feelings overhelmed him.

but as you say, if he meant anything the least serious, he would easily draw blood.   So whatever he is doing, he is doing it friendly, as with a family member.

EVEN it it would be supposed as "teaching lessons"

Im thinking on.  If he is a semiferal for real, and this is his first real contact with a human, the whole situation is brand new for him!  The whole situation goes against most of his instincts and all his previous knowledge.

Yet, by some reason, he is willing to give it a try...  Apparently he recognizes in you a friendly person.

He would give a friendly cat a try to become pals, he is willing to make the try with you too.   But its new, no rules, no safe points save the possibility to flee at any moment.  So he plays is by the tune as he can...

If cats dont get socialized to humans as kittens, afterwards is much more difficult - so you are right into the difficult zone...   Yet, he does open up to you, even if he isnt not in any life threating emergency (emergencies and care of severly sick do open the window of easy socialization anew).

If taking him in would be a hurry, the trick is use a trap. Vet visit still in the trap, and release him when back home, into his prepared cat room.

As its not the same hurry, its oK you continue as you do, taking is stepwise in his tempo, while outside, in his territory...