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When will he get over us being gone??

post #1 of 21
Thread Starter 
As some of you know already, we went on vacation to visit Earl's family the week of Christmas. We were gone for a little over a week. We had a kitty-sitter who came over and took care of them, and tried to spend time with them but after the first visit even super-lovey Trent didn't even come out when she was here.

So now we are back and Trent has been attached at the hip to me since we got back on Monday. I adore him, and love snuggling with him, but this is just getting ridiculous. He is SO needy that if I'm not touching him or paying attention to him he is crying. When I get ready to leave he's in a panic.

Last night, I stayed home with him (nah, he's not spoiled) instead of going to a friend's for New Year's Eve. Although he is a snuggler, he's a short snuggler - usually 10-15 minutes tops. Last night he stayed on my lap snuggling, purring and napping for about 3 hours. It's just not usual for him.

So how long does it take for him to get over the fact that we were gone? How did your kitties react when you have gone on vacation?
post #2 of 21
First of all, glad you're back! Hope you had a great trip and that you and Earl really enjoyed being together on vacation.

Secondly - I'm not sure how to answer this question! We had to go visit my mom when she had surgery back in October, and we were gone for about 10 - 12 days. Tuxedo was clingy when we got back - but he didn't cry when not being loved on. Lazlo had been quite unaffectionate before we left (he was mad about Flowerbelle joining the pack). When we got back he wanted pets, he was purring, and he cried in front of the bathroom door several times a day (to have one of us go in there with him to brush him in there).

Tuxedo was back to his normal self after about three days - Lazlo still wants pets, is purring lots when he gets attention, and cries once or twice a day for brushes in the bathroom.

I think that's so sweet he missed you so much! And he was at home - not in boarding! My guess is it'll take a few more days - maybe a week. ??????

Advice about stress on guardians coming and going usually includes not making a big deal about coming and going. Don't say goodbye before heading out for shoppping or work or whatever, and don't rush to him with hellos when you come home. Downplay the coming and going (to the best of your ability!)
post #3 of 21
And I have to say... I just can't help smiling. He missed you so much - that is just so sweet!!!!!!!!!!!
post #4 of 21
Heidi how long have you been back now? It can take up to two weeks for a cat to be reassured that you didn't abandon him. Is he acting normally otherwise? Well, normal for Trent anyway?
post #5 of 21
There ya go!

BTW - did he lose weight while you were gone? Our kids always loose weight while we're away. Poor little guys!
post #6 of 21
JC generally demands a week's worth of constant attention - although he's never been without us for more than 6 1/2 days. He's smart enough to know that he can press the "guilt buttons", even though we know that he's hardly neglected: my mother-in-law comes over twice a day for at least an hour each visit, and we have a catsitter who comes every day, cleans out his litterbox and feeds him, and usually spends one to three hours in our house. She has full access to the Internet, telephone, VCR, DVD player, stereo, and our collection of videocassettes, DVDs, CDs, tapes, etc.) He's quite adept at milking people's emotions. Cats can be manipulative - keep that in mind.
post #7 of 21
I understand TOTALLY what u're going thru!! I went home to Utah to visit family for the holidays for 7 days. I had a friend who came on a daily basis to check on my 4 cats, a foster cat and some feral cats for me and she slept overnite several nites.

When I got home, the cats were ALL OVER me. Buddy immediately jumped on my back, proceeded to lay down on my shoulders and REFUSED to get off for about 20 min while Pepper, Spike and Zebra constantly weaved among my legs meowing for me to pet them. It has been almost a week but Buddy still insists on being on me (back or lap) and Pepper constantly wakes me up at nites with her nudging my hand to have me pet her. Zebra and Spike are back to normal somewhat. Taz, (foster cat) follows me everywhere still. Whenever I go out to do errands, the cats get really upset and when I get home, they all are all over me for a while before they calm down.

From my past experiences with travelling, it usually takes 1-2 weeks for the cats to calm down, realize that I wouldn't beleaving again soon and get back to normal..

I MISSED my cats though!!! Had a HARD time sleeping at nites all alone in a big cold lonely bed without 4-5 cats snuggling up to me..
post #8 of 21
Thread Starter 
We got back Monday evening, so just three days that we've been back. Seems longer than that! LOL I think us being around for a 4 day weekend should help him out with realizing that I'm not going away again. I'm glad I'm not the only one who goes through this with their cats.

Laurie, Trent did lose some weight while we were gone. They ate plenty, but when he gets stressed he throws up and I gave full warning to my cat-sitter that he would. Ophelia seemed OK, Earl thought she may have lost a little. She was just mad that we were gone, and was mad for a little more than 24 hours until Earl gave her a peace offering of Fancy Feast. LOL Now she's fine.
post #9 of 21
Our new little guy cries at the door when my s/o goes to work, and will not be put down for quite some time when he comes home. I have to get him from in front of the door, and hold him until he quits crying.
post #10 of 21
We travel a lot (but have good house sitters), and their clinginess is directly proportional to the time we were away. 1-2 days: aloof, 3-4 days: clingy for a day or two, more than that: clingy for usually about a week and up to 2 weeks.

We try both stay home with them for at least 2 days before we leave them for work. That seems to settle them in a lot faster when we do that.
post #11 of 21
We have never had this behaviour with our cats. I came home from a seven day holiday today and my dogs were so excited to see me, it was so cute!

I hope Trent feels safer soon and he'll give you a bit of peace. Take care.
post #12 of 21
Oh, how I wish for that reaction when I get home from travelling! I get ignored for 3 days and I am the one that wants to sit and get some lovin from them!! Even when I offer them treats, I get nothing! I'll give the treat and reach out to pet their head, and they'll pull away from me. Its one of my family that comes to check on them so I know they're not abused when I'm gone. They're just that ticked off at me!
post #13 of 21
I was gone for 10 days. I've been home for four days now and Sabrina still won't leave me alone. Every time I sit down she is right on top of me rubbing her wet nose in my ear. And my poor sick Simba is starting to be my suck again. Now that he is feeling better he has been very affectionate again. He gets on my lap and puts his arms around my neck and licks and sucks on my neck. He has done that since he was a wee little baby. I guess we weaned him too soon!
post #14 of 21
I just don't go away!!!!!! The hassle I get on returning (even 1 day in hosiptal) is untrue!!!!

I know when my Mum comes to stay with me, her cat gives her a hard time for days on end - serious sulking and major attitude stuff until Mum makes up with treats and ultra-fussing!!! EVEN if it's just for a couple of days.
post #15 of 21
We went on a holiday for about three weeks in September.

Russell and Esper had to be in the same room as us. If we weren't, they would cry out and wait for our replies, then come thundering into the room announcing their arrival.

If we went outside to catch up on the gardening, they would cry out as if they had been abandoned. This despite them having full view of us from the screen doors.

Russell had decided that he wasn't going to be a lap cat anymore well before we left on holiday but now he's more cuddly and will want to sit with either one of us. Esper was always a lap cat and will want to sit with us so there was no change in that behaviour.

Both kitties lost weight. Russell lost quite a bit. He has only just gained it all back. We got back in October! Esper gained the weight she lost by the middle of December. Though behaviour was back to normal after two weeks.

And our peace offering? Well we did buy them a cat post nearly as tall as me on our holiday. It was the first thing we bought. The second thing was the engagement ring.
post #16 of 21
Of my six cats, five act no differently when I return from being away. WhiteFoot, however, is a different story. She has been stuck to me like glue since we returned from our Christmas travels. She has also been much more vocal than in the past. It's odd because she has never been this bad when we have traveled before. We can't figure out why this trip was so different for her.

I hope she is ready for us to go back to work on Monday.
post #17 of 21
Aww that's sweet they missed you! I've never been gone for an extended time since I've had my cats (yet) so I have not experience with it! But I'm glad you asked. Now I have the information too!
post #18 of 21
How's Trent doing? Glad to hear Ophelia enjoyed her peace offering!
post #19 of 21
Thread Starter 
He's getting better. I don't have to be touching him 24-7 now. I just have to break from whatever I'm doing, especially if I'm on the computer, to pay attention to him and snuggle him for a while. I hope he isn't devastated when I go to work tomorrow since I've been home with him for 4 days now! Ophelia is back to normal, and has even become a little more loving with me. Earl thinks she realized that she missed me too.
post #20 of 21
Good to hear that the cats are getting back to normal. One thing I've noticed - a lot of people have mentioned weight loss. If I/we go away, JC always gains weight. If I'm not home, he doesn't get his daily walk, because I'm the only one he allows to put his harness and leash on, and he also opens up the kitchen cabinet and the Tupperware canisters his dry food and treats are stored in (my husband, mother-in-law and the catsitter have all reported this) - something he never does when I'm home. I can't figure out how he gets the canisters open - the lids are really tight, and you have to press on the center of the lid to break the air-lock.. I "child-proofed" the cabinet with plastic hooks, and he managed to chew/rip the hooks off. I find it kind of strange that he only does this when I'm away.
post #21 of 21
jcat, that is too funny! I know it must be frustrating for you, but it is amazing how smart they are, LOL! Hope the poor boy didn't get a tummyache!

Heidi - glad to hear Ophelia's warmed up. Just FYI - Tuxedo, who is SO daddy's boy, let me pick him up and snuggle him the other day, so although it's only been about a year with Tuxie boy, I do know how it feels to have one of the cats living with you finally warm up to your affection. And it's pretty nice.
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