Something weird happened to me in the market today

I have a market stall as a hobby, selling kitchen and personal accessories that I make. Today some friends came to the market and we were chatting, when I noticed that she had picked up one of my lavender sachets. OK, fine, I went on chatting with her husband, and assumed she would either ask to buy it (only 3 euros) or put it back. But to my surprise she just walked off with it as I was talking to someone else. We have all done similar things and I thought that as soon as she realised she had taken it by mistake it she would come back, but she didn't. Later they walked back past my stall and she had nothing in her hands so she must have put it in her bag. They waved goodbye as they went. What do I do? They are quite good friends and her husband has helped me a lot in the house and garden with odd jobs I cannot do myself. I don't think I can bring myself to challenge her, but what if she is as embarrassed as I would be? Maybe she did not realise she was still carrying it when she left and then didn't know what to do? Maybe she thinks I didn't notice? Any ideas? Maybe I should give her a gift pack of sachets for Christmas!!

Maybe she thought they were free? Since she took one right in front of you, she must have thought it was okay… 

I guess the thing to ask yourself what you want now. Do you want payment for it? Do you just want to find out what she was thinking and how it happened? If you bring this subject up to them, you need to figure out why - in other words what do you want them to do to make things right. I can't help but think it will damage the friendships that you value, and that the sachet is not worth that.

Maybe you could just tell yourself you gave it to her as a gift since she's a friend. Try to forget it since it was just a little thing. She could have been not thinking at all - maybe overlooking her mistake this one time is the way to go.

Maybe one day talking over a bottle of wine the incident will come up and you will find her extremely apologetic and she just didn't realize. BUT I'd keep my eye on her for a while, and call her on it if she does something like that again.
 

I'd just ask her how the lavendar sachet is working out, if she likes its potency/scent in her sock drawer or a similar innocent follow up so she knows you're aware and offer to sell her more if she likes the "trial sachet." Especially for friends that are good about trading off and reciprocating being friends, helping each other, not just a one way, non-symbiotic friendship.

For a "friend" that just talks to me periodically, not really sharing a conversation and burden as typical behavior, takes a lot of "favors," without ever offering or reciprocating, I'd just not ask anything at all, and bring it up if they ever came to my home/booth and did it again.

I would have asked if she wanted to try it when she picked it up or walked back by versus letting it go unless I was busy with another customer as you were.

Love that you have a booth at market like that, offering your nurtured living plants with flair. A friend/coworker does this as a hobby also, selling to work and personal friends, as well as neighbors, on top of all that work we do throughout a day. She trades with me for baked goods and critter wares. Maybe your friend will reciprocate with a random little gift in the near future

She certainly didn't think it was free - it had a price tag on it. She was just fingering through the basket of sachets - they all have different prints and motifs on them, while I talked to her husband and another person. Then I noticed she was holding a floral one in her hands, along with a small change purse. But she was talking too, and I thought at first she was just waiting for a pause in the conversation, to say she wanted it. Then suddenly I was grabbed by another potential customer and my friends moved to one side so I could deal with it. As often happens, they saw I was engaged and indicated they were off, I nodded and realised that as she left she was still holding the sachet close to her chest. I couldn't do anything at that point - I had a sale on my hands. But she definitely had it and I thought then that it was a mistake and that she would come back. She is already a customer - she has bought place mats, a tea cosy and some Christmas ornaments from me before, and I am supposed to be going to their house on Friday to talk about making some fly protection masks for their ponies. We have been out riding together. These people are good friends, and if she had said something about liking the sachet, I would probably have given it to her. It is just weird.

JennyR said:

I have a market stall as a hobby, selling kitchen and personal accessories that I make. Today some friends came to the market and we were chatting, when I noticed that she had picked up one of my lavender sachets. OK, fine, I went on chatting with her husband, and assumed she would either ask to buy it (only 3 euros) or put it back. But to my surprise she just walked off with it as I was talking to someone else. We have all done similar things and I thought that as soon as she realised she had taken it by mistake it she would come back, but she didn't. Later they walked back past my stall and she had nothing in her hands so she must have put it in her bag. They waved goodbye as they went. What do I do? They are quite good friends and her husband has helped me a lot in the house and garden with odd jobs I cannot do myself. I don't think I can bring myself to challenge her, but what if she is as embarrassed as I would be? Maybe she did not realise she was still carrying it when she left and then didn't know what to do? Maybe she thinks I didn't notice? Any ideas? Maybe I should give her a gift pack of sachets for Christmas!!

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jennyr Are these people close enough friends that they come to your home?

blueyedgirl5946 said:

jennyr Are these people close enough friends that they come to your home?

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Yes, they do, quite frequently. They are friends on the 'drop by any time' type of friendship, as well at at specific occasions.

At this point, I think I'd let it go. The problem is....it would bother me until I did say something. And you don't want her to think she can just take whatever she wants! I guess you could keep a closer eye on her next time she's at your booth.

The problem is not the next time she is at your booth, but rather at your home. I think you have do decide here does it mean enough to you to let her know that you are aware she took the item. If you do, it might end the friendship. Is it worth that to you. Can you trust her to come to your home now. Sorry, but I think I would have to mention to her what happened and let the chips fall where they might. I would not want anyone coming to my home who I had to keep an "eagle eye" on to make sure they didn't leave with something that belonged to me in their pocket. I am the type of person I would give you most anything, but don't steal it from me. :nod:

Winchester said:

At this point, I think I'd let it go. The problem is....it would bother me until I did say something. And you don't want her to think she can just take whatever she wants! I guess you could keep a closer eye on her next time she's at your booth.

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blueyedgirl5946 said:

The problem is not the next time she is at your booth, but rather at your home. I think you have do decide here does it mean enough to you to let her know that you are aware she took the item. If you do, it might end the friendship. Is it worth that to you. Can you trust her to come to your home now. Sorry, but I think I would have to mention to her what happened and let the chips fall where they might. I would not want anyone coming to my home who I had to keep an "eagle eye" on to make sure they didn't leave with something that belonged to me in their pocket. I am the type of person I would give you most anything, but don't steal it from me. :nod:

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I agree with you both. But I think I will have to let it go. And just see what if anything happens. But I will always look at her and wonder.