Experienced Cat Owner... But I Just Don't Like My New Cat!...HELP?

Hello, my name is Audrey. I am fairly new to the site but I must say I am impressed with the helpful network of people in this community. I was hoping I could get some advice on the new member of the family...

So, first things first. MyBoo Boo boy just died of lung cancer. He was 14 and absolutely the most perfect cat in the world. He was intelligent, didn't make a mess, was very social, etc. After grieving, I thought it was finally the time to open my heart to a new cat. I rescued 2 year old ChiChi from a local humane society.

At first he was sweet; no biting, scratching, etc. However, as he began adjusting more and more to the house, we began to see less and less of him. Every day he is either under the bed, or trying to run outside. He constantly scratches at my box spring and vintage vanity chair, even though I tell him "no," in a stern voice, he chewed through the IAMS cat bag even though there were two full bowls of food right next to it, he doesn't clean himself and gets POOP on me, and howls constantly. CONSTANTLY. What he will do is after about 5 minutes of visiting, he will walk into the other room and just meow and howl at top volume for up to 20 minutes. Also, if he hears the slightest noise he will bolt and hide under the bed for hours. 

I really am trying to give this cat a chance and learn to love him, but it is just so hard. We have had him for about a month or so.

Boo was nothing like him.. He was the perfect, low maintenance and clean cat. It is just so hard. I know it's not fair to compare two different animals, but I can't help but do so. 

Is there anything I can do to make this cat a bit more social and confident? Is there any way I can tell him what is right and wrong without coming off as harsh or unloving? (Disclaimer: I do pet him all the time and cuddle him. Do not think he is deprived of love or neglected here. ) 

(By the way, the cat in my avatar is Boo Boo. Chi Chi is a tabby.) 

First of all, welcome! and thank you for rescuing this kitty and bringing into your home! 

My first thought it: has he been neutered? It may be he's smelling a kitty or kitties in heat which would explain why he's so vocal and eager to get out.

Also, it's unfair to ChiChi to be expected to be like Boo Boo. Cats each have their own personality traits so no 2 kitties are alike. Other factors such as early life conditioning, where he grew up, what kind of treatment has he gotten so far in life make for certain traits or fear that they add to their personality. It's important to remember he's in a new place and he doesn't know a single thing about it. 

Was he given proper time to climate to his new home? Has he been given proper space to develop and get comfortable?  how long have you had him? Some cats take longer to adapt to new homes. Some take a couple of days, some may take months. How was his introduction to his new home  I suggest reading these articles to see if there was anything you could have done differently:

 [article="0"]Bringing Home A New Cat​[/article]  

 [article="32804"]How To Help A New Cat Adjust To Your Home​[/article]   

[article="0"]Cats And Kids Making Introductions​[/article]

audreyscats said:

Is there anything I can do to make this cat a bit more social and confident? Is there any way I can tell him what is right and wrong without coming off as harsh or unloving? (Disclaimer: I do pet him all the time and cuddle him. Do not think he is deprived of love or neglected here. ) 

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Some cats are not social at all, rather, complacent. You mentioned he was very nice and sweet when you met him. Kitties act differently depending on the environment, in a familiar environment where he feels safe, he will be like his true self. In a strange place, he will be on high alert all the time. He might also he howling "calling" for the friends he had somewhere else.

Please let us know how it goes and if you have any more questions, we'll be glad to help 

Welcome! I am glad you came here to get help.

Have you taken ChiChi to the vet to make sure he's healthy? Sometimes it can be a medical condition that you are unaware of.

The post above has great tips and links to articles.. I hope they help!

MagiksGirl really has it down to a science. I would have suggested all the same things plus taking him to a vet. Chi chi also may be smelling the former cat and is not happy about it. You might want to confine him to one room for a while, making sure he has everything he needs (litter box, water dish, toys, scratching post or pad, place for him to sleep) and then go in there to play with him, not just cuddle. At the first sign of him doing something not ok leave the room after saying "no", do not scold him, his memory is too short to connect the scolding with his behavior. After 5 minutes return and start over. Every time he misbehaves leave the room. You may have to do that 10 times in a row, particularly if it is the same behavior over and over. He will eventually learn that he is losing your presence when he misbehaves. Do this several times during the day. Good luck.

Every suggestion has been right on track. The thought I keep having is that cats are emotional sponges, they know what you are feeling before you do. You might try some Feliway, for stress and play soft music. You are in such a very tough spot, you have to clear your mind and heart and try as hard as you can to appreciate who he is.

He will never be the same as Boo Boo, and you don't want him to be! Boo Boo was a very special little individual, his memory is everything it needs to be. 

You will have a brand new, different relationship with Chi Chi.

The vet check as soon as you can.

we recently started having behavior problems with our 8 y/o male cat and we tried feliway--waste of money. so i thought i'd try the sentry calming collar although i didn't expect much. he is the most calm cat in the world right now! no bad behavior and when 1 of my other cats lays near him they chill out too, lol. these collars really work! and they are alot cheaper than the feliway spray/diffusers!

it may just take him longer to adjust to his new home. i had one cat that i adopted that i didn't even see for 3 weeks. he came out at night to eat and use the litter box. it was several months before he was comfortable being petted but he was always afraid of people he didn't know for his whole life.