Kitten + Older Cat = ...

Thanks in advance for your help. I'm writing for some advice - maybe just some reassurance - on helping our two cats to live peacefully.

We've had our first cat - a two-year-old tortie female named Izumi - for about five months now. She's been a dream - doesn't scratch up the furniture, mild-tempered, playful, never pooped outside the litter box, and a huge blessing for us. Izumi by default is very shy; she will normally go and hide when anyone unfamiliar comes over. However after she gets used to them she's very warm and friendly. 

About 2.5 weeks ago we decided to adopt an adorable kitten - Loki, a darling four-month-old male (right now as I type this he's intently following the cursor onscreen while trying to "catch" it with his paws). He's typical kitten - unlimited energy and desire to play. He's fearless with strangers and wants to make friends immediately.

With Feliaway plugged into a nearby electrical socket we started out by sequestering the little guy in our guest bathroom along with some blankets, scratching post, his food and water, a litter box, and some toys. It's a full bath but not a huge space overall; needless to say we feel horrible having such a playful and energetic kitten stuck in there, but we are severely limited due to our small condo. We isolated them for a week while feeding Izumi closer and closer to his door; she initially was highly anxious around his door but gradually became more comfortable with the area. We also made sure to take blankets from little guy's room and leave them around the condo to distribute his smell. We took him out of his room and let Izumi wander around in there as well to get used to his scent. We make sure to let him out to run around our condo as much as we can, several times a day, so he isn't stuck in that bathroom all the time. Believe me, it hurts like nothing else to hear his squeaky little meow from behind that door.

Next step was letting the two see each other through a baby gate, Loki in his bathroom and Izumi on the other side. Loki showed no fear and was happy to waltz right up to the gate. We coaxed Izumi over with treats and she eventually became happy to walk right up to the gate where unfortunately she hissed and growled at Loki, who sometimes sat there and sometimes backed off. At first she did the same but now is more comfortable asserting herself across the gate; Loki was quiet but still happy to walk right up. We felt Izumi's comfort level increase as we also began playing with both cats separately on either side of the baby gate, also making sure to offer treats when they were willing to approach the gate without hissing or growling and also offer treats for playing nearby. We tried a number of times to feed them both their food on opposite sides of the baby gate (in view of each other) but every time Loki was too distracted by Izumi and walked over to the gate or tried to jump over; that got Izumi's attention and she started growling and hissing. Ultimately nobody was doing any eating so we didn't let that go on for long.

After a bit over a week of that with the consultation of some friends and sensing Izumi was getting a bit more comfortable we decided tonight to let them meet face to face; they ended up in our living room. Loki of course waltzed right up to Izumi, a bit quickly of course; she stepped back, hissed and growled, and pawed at the guy to stay away. That pattern repeated several times with Loki doing this kind of hop-movement in front of her, backing away and then stepping forward, sometimes quickly and sometimes not. I don't know enough about cats to understand his posture; he often sat back on his haunches and either looked at her or looked away. With the hopping motion I was unsure if he was being playful (my assumption as he's a kitten) or trying to be aggressive and dominant. He definitely was willing to move quickly toward Izumi, even after she continued to give him signals to watch it. A couple times when she tried walking away quietly he moved quickly towards her, almost to cut her movements off, it seemed. The two didn't fight per se but there was a fair amount of stand-off between the two with Izumi growling, hissing, and pawing at him when he got too close. Loki certainly was the one moving toward Izumi the whole time. There wasn't really any positive behavior by either that we felt we wanted to reward with treats.We tried distracting the two with toys to at least get them to play in the same space but they kept going towards each other and the same standoff kept happening.

So here's my concern: this first meeting obviously didn't go well. What are some ways we can develop a positive association for the two cats when they see each other? We've tried to do so before the two of them meeting with some measure of success. My concern is that Loki is so easily distracted by Izumi that it's going to be hard to keep his attention on anything but her while the two are visible to each other and there's no barrier in between them. On the other hand maybe at this point we should let the two of them continue to meet so Loki can get the message from Izumi that the way he's approaching her is not okay. We want to get things worked out between the two of them so the little guy can spend less time cooped up in his room and more time running around being a kitten - and hopefully being a good pal to Izumi too.

The first meeting wasn't terrible - there was no actual fighting, and Izumi (whilst clearly the more timid of the two) didn't act like prey. 

So, moving forward. Separation is still essential at this point. Keep in mind that two and a half weeks really isn't terribly long anyway. Try to be patient. There are a couple of techniques that might help here. Firstly, get or borrow a large dog crate - the bigger the better. Set that up with bed, water, letterbox and kitten safe toys and place it in a central part of the house. Have Loki in there for a while each day, and let Izumi roam freely as normal. Hopefully, Loki will get less and less excited about both being in the main living space and seeing Izumi. Izumi will (hopefully) gain confidence once she realises that Loki can't get at her and she's the one in control. The best times to do this would be right after Loki's had a play session to drain some energy and is ready to eat. Try doing the joint feedings like this. Hopefully the novelty will wear off and Loki will settle ...maybe even sleep!

The second thing I'd look at is trying Spirit Essences or Composure for Izumi to help her chill a little.

I'm sure you've read these already, but just in case:  [article="32680"]How To Successfully Introduce Cats The Ultimate Guide​[/article]  ;  [article="29726"]Introducing Cats To Cats​[/article]  ;  [article="29658"]The Multi Cat Household​[/article]  

Thank you!! I very much appreciate you writing and the good advice. I also appreciate the reminder for patience; the more I read the more I hear of stories where it takes months - if not longer - for cats to get used to each other. I know we need to adopt the same patience. I just want to make sure our course is good over that time.

We had previously tried something similar but Loki was in a much smaller cat carrier. Izumi prowled around it, sat on top and pawed at the sides a bit; we were worried that she was somehow acting menacingly towards Loki who was in a smaller, more helpless position and looked to be quite scared. Needless to say we only did that once. But I'm guessing the key difference between that and what you're advising is the larger area so he doesn't look and feel trapped?

The dog cage technique is often used when taming ferals. It generally doesn't make an animal feel overly threatened because of its size and height. If necessary, you can cover it with blankets at the start to limit the visual access. Whether or not you do that, I tend to think an igloo style bed that the caged cat can retreat into is a good idea - that way they can retreat a little into a 'safe' space if they need to.

This is the setup I had for Asha when she came home (semi feral I rescued).

One other question to pose. After researching a bit about cat body language and having them meet again last night and this morning I now am thinking that Loki's behavior is actual aggression towards Izumi. Last night we were briefly hopeful as even fearful Izumi cautiously moved towards Loki to sniff them and Loki was briefly still. However he moved forward and more of the same ensued. Loki frequently is low to the ground and still before trying to pounce on Izumi despite her growling and hissing and obvious warnings to stay away. A couple times Izumi even lays down and goes into don't-mess-with-me mode. He's even gotten through to her a couple times and a brief tussle ensues with him backing away after getting swatted/nipped. We let them repeat this cycle several times but our concern is that one of them might actually get hurt - probably smaller Loki. Nobody has at this point, thankfully.

My guess is that this is some kind of play for dominance by Loki. So far Izumi is fighting him off but she doesn't seem very interested in trying to assert herself over Loki and more interested in being defensive and trying to warn him away. My instinct is that if so it's a normal part of cat behavior and efforts to curb it won't be helpful. However I also am concerned for the safety of both cats and so cut short their meetings when this happens. 

The dog enclosure idea is a good one and I'll look into what we can get that will fit in our small condo (just under 1k square feet). In the meantime I want to work more on getting them eating on opposite sides of the baby gate - maybe by moving food bowls farther apart from each other. Alternatively I might try cracking the door to his room so they can see each other but not opening the door enough to permit him through. The one thing I hear from every research source I've consulted is the value of using feeding times to acclimatize cats to each other. It hasn't worked so far due to Loki's immediate gravitation towards Izumi (see above) but hopefully my above ideas can help curb or mitigate that.

Any other thoughts/suggestions on what's going on here and how to handle it would be appreciated.

One other thing (sorry, can't find a button to edit my post). Does this technique seem viable:

http://www.justanswer.com/pet-cat/2...ing-establish-dominance-i-just.html#re.v/150/

In particular, verbally informing the aggressive cat (Loki, in this situation) that he's doing something not cool and giving him a gentle physical reminder (a tap on the head or briefly taking him by the scruff of the neck) to discourage the behavior. It might work but by concern is that such correction might equate in his kitty mind to punishment - no different and no less productive than bringing out the squirt bottle.

Bear in mind that, at 4 months, any 'aggression' is most likely to be kittenish boundary testing rather than true aggression. Loki just sounds like a normal but ultra confident kitten to me. Izumi is simply a little overwhelmed by his being so full of himself. Do bear in mind, too, that its possible that Loki is beginning his adolescent phase - the average age for a male to reach sexual maturity is 5-6 months. Neutering could well help tame his wilder behaviour and make Izumi feel less threatened.

If you come to the conclusion that a dog crate isn't feasible, there is the option of fitting a screen door on the bathroom, to allow Loki to get used to seeing Izumi around the place. In you situation I think the crate method is preferable (as I have the feeling Izumi will just stay well clear of the bathroom, but a crate in the main living area may help her gain confidence around Loki), but the door is always an option.

Try not to get too stressed. The average cat introduction takes months not weeks. They'll accept each other in time.